Friday, 31 August 2012

Rain and frogs and packing my togs

What is going on with this  jolly crazy mixed up weather?

  1. Stops my Tykes from playing
  2. Stops my Tykes from playing
  3. Stops my Tykes from playing
  4. Makes Lady Lainey have an orange afro!
  5. Makes the frog family settle in nicely at Tykes Towers (YUK)

Yesterday was the second day of no play at Scarbella, however at Liverpool former besty home county of Durham managed some play with Onions bowling out of his skin!! ( I bet he has never heard that before!)

I am also a tad worried about the weekend as there are teas at Super Shildon BR CC and Marton CC and I now getting to the stage where the freezers at Platinum Duck Palace ( hub of the cricket tea empire) are full to bursting again. If they are off, it will be teas in my frog infested grounds of Tykes Towers £3.50 per head, eat as much as you like,email me!

15 days to jetting off to La Belle France and the excitement is mounting here at Tykes Towers ( or excrement as auto correct very kindly put in for me!!), that is what will hit the fan if I don't get all my evening gowns and tiaras in my bag!

On the Towers front I am now down to 5 boxes to unpack and am jolly proud of myself managing to find homes for everything and get it all nearly sorted before off on my 'grand tour', at this rate the house will be all sorted ( less the decorating) before I fly off.

bad news for other besty ex cricketer friend Badger (JJ to everyone else) who has had a 'minor' op and is still recovering  from it, get well soon and hope fully see you when I am next down south.

So today is the big day....the day they draw the raffle at Scarbella, the day that I win 3 rd prize and become the proud owner of a signed cricket bat, Mr Funky has once again warned me about being too hopeful, but I know that I am going to win it and so am fair hopping about like the flipping frogs that are lodging in the extensive grounds of Tykes Towers.

And talking about the frogs..........I have now seen a sand coloured one, it gave me 'a look' and then hopped off to tell its friend that I was about and that they should rally the troops and scare the poo out of me! So I ran back inside and locked the door.

31st August

1997 Diana Princess of Wales dies as the result of an horrific car accident in Paris

Thursday, 30 August 2012

Debate goes on ( In Lady Lainey Office)

OMG, well you could have knocked me down with a feather at lunchtime yesterday. Andrew Strauss retiring with immediate effect. Sad news and a sad farewell to a great cricketer and England Captain, however it makes her Ladyship wonder if this now clears the way for the (not wanted at all) return of KP?( Even Job the Jolly said the same) If this is the case then I will certainly be putting quill to paper and writing my thoughts and views to the ECB pronto.
Unheard of in journalistic circles is that the bunch of old hacks gave Andrew a standing ovation at the end of the conference. Sadly these are the same writers that gave huge amounts of back page space to rumours of KP's texts etc. however at least they showed Andrew Strauss the respect he deserved. Good luck to you  in what ever you do next.

Well after getting my tiara in a twist, and fair giving myself a headache with airing my thoughts very vocally in super swanky Lady Lainey office, back to the most important news about yesterday.

Super besty home team of Yorkshire were  very busy watching daytime TV as no play happened at      Sca(umbr)ella, not good for my Tykes. They also had a bit of a quiz night down the Pub, good night out boys wish I could have been there!
Other former besty home county of Durham suffered the same fate at Liverpool. so not a good cricket day all round. However they were all able to have a leisurely lunch and tea and catch up on 'Neighbours and Home and Away!

Still no word on what is happening with cousin Rt Hon hooligan Robbo over at Toronto FC, however I found out that the head coach is none other than Paul Mariner , formerly of Ipswich , and Arsenal and who had a mullet to rival the one that Gillespie the Gallant used to sport! STOP THE PRESSES!!! hot news from Dame Didi,Rt Hon Hooligan has had interested shown in  him by Millwall ( too violent)  and Burnley  ( maybe), but as yet no word from the Hooligan.

Busy day for me today in Super swanky Lady Lainey office as we are working on a designer outlet in North London, also going to visit oldest besty school friend Duchess Debbie the Wise after work .
And dropping off my forms to see if I am suitable to me a foster mummy..............however not to 2 legged creatures but doggies who want to be hugged and kissed and loved by Lady Lainey, so hopefully soon Tykes Towers will be filled with the sounds of howling hounds a couple of nights a week. Dame Didi do you remember Fleur?.............she didn't want to end her days in a cage!

Trying to sort out my evening gowns and tiaras for my holidays and having a blinking hard time deciding what to take, good job I have 16 more days to sort it out.

Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Midday today ECB Statement

17 days until I am in that pool!

Wouldn't you just know it, the minute that I go back to super swanky Lady Lainey office the sun decided to shine its heart out. All very good for a spot of lunchtime retail therapy ( I bought a lovely coat which I could have made use of on Sunday at Scarbella) but I really would have preferred to have been watching my Tykes!.

Super besty home team of Yorkshire are still in sunny Scarbados, where I was expecting his Royal Ryanness to launch the bowling against Gloucestershire. However he sustained a back injury ( crawling commando style out of the pavilion on Sunday to evade Lady Lainey?). I am gutted and I bet he is too. Get well soon Ryan #toomanyinjuriesthisseason..

The Tykes are pushing for promotion and I can tell you that if this happens whilst I am across 'Le Manche' I will get totally squiffy on cheapo vin ( and Dame Didi will too whether she likes it or not, I will tempt her with smoked pistachios!).

Still not heard any news about Richard Pyrah, who went down like a 'sack of spuds' on Sunday and stayed on the ground for a jolly long time, I , Lady Lainey was just about to dash onto the field to administer first aid ( I got a badge in the was for sewing but what the heck!) when luckily ( for Pyrah) Gillespie the Gallant raced on, got him to his feet and rushed him to the pavilion.

Yesterday was a big day for Joe ( Oliver) Root and Gary Ballance who both got their county caps, well done you Tykes.
 Close of play saw scores of Glous  215 all out and Yorks  61-2 #COYT

Former besty team of Durham were at Liverpool to play Lancs. Wetness on the outfield ( No jokes, the Durham boys hadn't been outside) meant that there was no play before lunch so they all sat in the dressing room  watching 'Heir Hunters, 'Homes under the Hammer ( Dame Didi will be very jealous) and 'Bargain Hunt'.
They did eventually get out to play and Lancs were 221-6 at close of play
Durham 2nd 's beat Sussex to get through to the SET final well done boys.

Just heard on the news that at midday today (Wednesday 29th August 2012) the ECB will release a statement regarding Andrew Strauss.what is going on now??????

Also please feel free to leave any comments I would love to hear from you all, as to what you think of my ramblings!.

Bon Journee

Tuesday, 28 August 2012

Last County match for Lady Lainey

Scarborough Cricket ground ( but not yesterday!

Well what a day I had yesterday, Mr Funky picked me up and delivered me to Scarbados, well not actually that hot but at least I was there. Sad news for me was that his Royal Ryanness wasn't playing and this was to be my last county match until next year!

Warwickshire went into bat first, Mr Funky and I had out eyes peeled for the 'rotund one' on loan from Durham, but guessed he was still at the dining table. Mr Funky went to get me fish and chips which were delicious even though we were in constant peril , due to being dive bombed by the biggest blinking seagulls you have ever seen.I actually think that one was an albatross!!!
Suddenly out of the corner of my eye I spotted a face at the dressing room window, yes you have guessed it, it was his Royal Ryanness, I was nearly bouncing in my seat!.Mr Funky said I was to restrain myself ( before His Royal Ryanness got a restraining order out on me!).

Michael Parkinson also made an appearance, he didn't offer me a Parker pen I guess because he knew that I wasn't over 50 ( yet!)

Gillespie the Gallant was busy being coach and doing all things coach like, Mr Funky said I should go and ask for his autograph, well I was struck dumb and my orange curls nearly stood on end! on earth could he suggest such a thing! I remained firmly glued to my seat. Me the shy and retiring Lady Lainey approach Gillespie the Gallant!!!

And then it rained, and it rained and then it stopped raining and got very very cold. Well as you may have worked out from my blogs, I  lady Lainey do not like cold weather ( me thinks that the stork dropped me off too far from the equator by mistake,especially in the icy wastes of the North!) I was wrapped up in a blanket because of  the cold, Mr Funky who had been walking badly all day and sitting rather uncomfortably, said that his back was killing him ( he says his injury is from sometimes having to lift my handbag, when in actual fact I think it is old age!) and that we would have to go home ( we had a 2 hour drive ahead of us). This was the end of my county cricket season and I fair blubbed in the car all the way home.
 Oh yes and sadly my Tykes lost!

Joe Root was playing and I think that I finally know who he reminds me of.......

Mark Lester as Oliver

Joe Root as Oliver
And so with a very heavy heart I have said farewell to my Tykes for this season. I will keep up to date on the scores this week and am still hoping to win 3rd prize in the raffle and then my season will be complete.

Well off to super swanky Lady Lainey office for four days of torture fun with the 'boys'.

Monday, 27 August 2012

Day out to Scarborough

Wooohoooo its here!!! The day I have been waiting for,I am jumping around like a mad thing with excitement. I am going back to Scarborough to cricket and so flipping excited that I hardly slept at all last night!.(3am watching Holby City not a good idea, went back to sleep when the news channel came on)

I have packed up a picnic tea for Mr Funky the chauffeur and I, ( he is treating me to fish and chips for lunch, methinks I pay him too much), and everything is packed up and ready for him arriving.I also have my raffle ticket tucked in a safe place( hope I don't get strip searched at the gate !) even though its not drawn until Friday.

Yesterday I Lady Lainey had a relatively quiet day, Over at Platinum Duck palace ( hub of cricket tea empire) I was doing some prep for cricket teas today which will very kindly be delivered to Super Shildon BR CC by besty friend Countess Christine of Mc Nally. Also checking out all my treasures that I have sold on ebay and putting on another load of rubbish goodies to sell. I am seriously hoping to be able to get rid of all the things I no longer want by Christmas!!!!! ( actually I jolly well hope that I have it all sorted by October). I also had a little accident with the recycling bin and broke another two nails which did not make me happy at all, Now I have had to cut the blinking rest down and hope that they grow a little before I fly off to La Belle France in 3 weeks.


I haven't seen the little blighter since last week so was hoping (or hopping in its case) that it had packed its bags and moved on, no blinking luck. I, Lady Lainey, bravely went out into the extensive grounds of Tykes Towers last evening to bring in my washing and was merrily walking back into the house when suddenly the little monster hopped out of the walled garden right in front of me. I nearly fainted with fright. It looked at me and then hopped back onto the lawn. I raced into the house and now am a prisoner in my own home as the said frog is watching and waiting for me to come out!

On this day 27th august

1969 Mark Ealham Kent and England allrounder was born
1970 Mark Ilott England cricketer was born
2008 Barack Obama becomes first Afro-American presidential candidate

So now with orange curls 'sort of' tamed and umbrella at the ready ( rain is forecast) I am ready to go to Scarborough and see my wonderful Tykes.
I love cricket me!!!

Sunday, 26 August 2012

Tears, Tired and no Trophy

The man who took us to the Finals! 

We lost!!, however those two words will never be able to convey the game that Yorkshire played last night.
Well 11am yesterday morning Yorkshire went into bat with Jonny Bairstow scoring  68 as they outplayed Sussex in the semi, His Royal Ryanness took a wicket and  was involved in a run out  which helped them through to the final.
So with a few hours to kill before the final,I Lady Lainey went to visit Auntie Lady Lynne and Lord Tony, and was surprised to see cousin Sir Stuart ( not seen him for about 20 years as in the forces). A nice afternoon, and then home to get ready for 6.45pm.

As you will know if you read my blog Hampshire are my super besty team in the south , but to put them against my Tykes is a bad thing! So I settled down for the final feeling jolly sick. To cut out the long winded match analysis, Hants batted first and it looked as if their final score was easily achievable, even Job the Jolly was sending me texts  saying it was a walkover. Well sadly it didn't go to plan. Hants scored 150 off 20 overs and Yorkshire scored 140. However what a thrilling match and well played by both teams ( but especially Yorkshire as they played their best). Big shout out to Dimi and the boys from Hampshire who played well. However Yorkshire will be back!!!!!!  #COYT

Another result from finals day was that in the Mascot Race, Chester the Lion ( Durham's Mascot) came last! enough said.

And so today I have a rare Sunday off and am going to crack on at Tykes Towers and unpack the last few boxes, do some gardening, make a picnic because............................................TOMORROW I AM GOING TO SCARBOROUGH. I am not sure if I will sleep tonight with the excitement.!

Saturday, 25 August 2012

It's finally here....


Finals day that is. 10 years of waiting and the Tykes are finally there. I Lady Lainey have hardly slept with excitement and now feel quite sick. and its only 7am!!
I'm not even playing!! I hope that my boys had a better nights sleep than I did.
So I am now trying to have some breakfast and get myself calmed down ready for the days events.
I have to say a big 'come on' to Max Mynah in the mascot race, hope you do really well and if all else fails take a leaf out of the book of my cousin Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo, professional footballer and part time thug, trip them over when no one is looking!!

I will be wearing my super special tiara and  singing the Yorkshire battle cry as penned by moi in a bored moment at work, and getting myself ready to do teas at super Shildon BR CC weather permitting and also watching the cricket on the TV at the club. All in all a busy day cricket wise

Weather here in Co Durham is wet and doesn't look to improve, I am getting a tad panicky regarding Monday as the weather forecast is not good, however Mr Funky is still going to drive me to Scarborough and he is treating me to fish and chips for lunch.

I am keeping this short as no doubt there will be an update later regarding the matches.

And finally thought for the day.........

'Never eat more than you can lift'    Miss Piggy    :-)

Friday, 24 August 2012

Finals day -1 ( Battle song for Tykes)

(To the Tune of Jerusalem)

And did those men of Headingley
Walk out at Cardiff full of hope
And with the Trophy in their sights
No heading down a slippery slope
And did Gillespie give advice
To all the Tykes on finals day
And was the team in fighting form
To take this match all the way

Bring home that trophy of burning gold
Bring home your medals to admire
Bring home a team so full of joy
Bring home that Yorkshire winning desire
You will not cease from winning ways
Nor shall your bat sleep in your hand 
Til Yorkshire are the champions
Of crickets green and pleasant land

Thursday, 23 August 2012

Lady Laineys' Global domination continues

I can hardly believe it, Lady Laineys blog is read all over the blinking place, in the last month its has been read in UK, Australia ( thanks to The Duke of Adeleaide and Gillespie the Gallant), America, Russia, Canada, France ( Dame Didi) Germany, Sweden, South Africa( Prince Philip of the Southern Hemisphere), India, Malaysia, China, Ireland , Gibraltar and Qatar.....phewwww that's completely made me flip my tiara. I would like to say that to all the readers that I hope you enjoy little insights into the life of Lady Lainey.

Now that you have all had a mention in the blog, back to super important thing in  Lady laineys life. CRICKET, yesterday Yorkshire were in in CB40 action and had taken the 'Venga Bus' down to Kent on Tuesday, spent a night at the dogs, Gillespie the Gallant had a win, and then they were ready for action.
Andrew Gale played brilliantly as did the rest of the teams but Kent were determined to march on to the semi's. The Tykes required 55 from the last 9 overs but sadly it was not to happen and with a heavy heart I write that my Tykes lost. However as we all know Saturday is a huge day for us all, and Monday is an even bigger day for the Tykes when they have the honour of Lady Lainey once again at the Scarborough ground!!

Former besty home county of Durham were still in playing Worcester at The Riverside Ground ( Emirates Durham ICG if you want to be sniffy) and with 19 wickets falling on day one, the visitors fought hard on day two. Callum Thorp stepped up and took wickets, having played most of the season on the 2nd XI. Going into day three, Durham look strong but you can never tell with them!

Finally putting to bed the KP ( FIGJAM) fiasco. I read the statement from Andy Flower and totally agreed with his sentiments, as I have always said ,'there is no I in team' and one man does not make a team. So here truly endth in Lady Laineys blogspot any further mention of this man.

Dame Didi came over to stay last night and we watched 'Salmon fishing in the Yeman' which I would highly recommend especailly as it has two of Dame Didi's favourite actors in, 'You and MacGregor!!!! ( now you got your new bins, get your ears tested! only joking Didi xx)  Also got terribly posh bird Kristin Scott Thomas on whom I model myself.

Finals day T -3 days
Scarborough (super special day in life of Lady Lainey) T-5days( can hardly sleep now with excitement most especially as I soooo want to win 3rd prize in the raffle and there will be a tiara throwing tantrum and tears if I don't).

Mr Funky ( besty chauffeur in the world) came round and mowed the lawns at Tykes Towers. I am hoping the combination of lawnmower, and Mr Funky might have frightened off the frog family although I think tht they will have packed their bags only temporarily, waiting for another opportunity to jump out at moi!.

Wednesday, 22 August 2012

Tired Lady Lainey ,Never drink again(y)

Whoops, I Lady Lainey was only meant to have a couple of shandies last night and by the sound of the drums in my head I think that I had a couple too many!! I want to go back to sleep!.However it was Sir Robert of Solihulls leaving do, so had to be worth it!
When he arrived yesterday he was  bearing gifts ( From Comtessa Cruse and Hon Hodsman besty friends in London). Woohoo I was jumping up and down with excitement, lovely handbag and beautiful cushion covers for Tykes Towers, very gorgeous gift for moi!!!! Thats a nice little job when I get home tonight, to get them 'stuffed' and on the sofas!

News on the cricket front, teams were announced for ODI's and T20's, well done Jonny Bairstow, you have made it, and also super Tyke Tim Bresnan. Proud of you both and know that you will be  great additions to the teams Also lots ( way too much) of news coverage for KP regarding omission from squads etc, why are they even still reporting on him, waste of airtime.( However fabby Simon Jones took his wicket and it was a brilliant bit of bowling!)

Tonight my 'Tykes are in action against Kent and it is their last match before finals day. #coyt lets get ready to rumble!! I have tried to avoid 'Tweeting' Gillespie the Gallant'  ( did send one!) as I think he
  1. Needs a break
  2. Needs to focus on upcoming matches with the team
  3. Is a super nice guy, as he always retweets my blog
Durham were playing Worcs and made a good start ( which makes a change), They bowled Worcester out for 120 with Chris Rushworth bowling well ( jolly nice chap and 'daddy' of lovely little dog Pasha often seen at the ground). In reply Durham had lost a man before a run was on the board  ( OMG why am I surprised). However they pulled their socks up, adjusted their boxes and were over the 200 mark by close of play. Lets see what day 2 brings!

News on  the other super sporty front, cousin Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo is trying out with Toronto FC........yes Toronto Canada would you 'Adam and Eve' it Well I jolly well can't, but good on you Hooligan, show them some of your best moves( no, not the elbow in the back when the refs not looking!) and teach them a few new words!!!!

The Blades drew 1-1 with Coventry City last night too. #coyb

Thought I would once again add some interesting facts about the 22nd August ( and they all seem to have an Australian feel!)

1897 Bill Woodfull, cricketer was born (Australian captain in the Bodyline series)
1930  Australia regain Ashes on 6th day of 5th Cricket Test
1956  Peter Taylor, cricketer was born (Australian off-spinner 1987-92)
1988  Australia unveils 1st platinum coin (Koala)

Well finally got my tiara on straight and slapped on some war paint, so off to super swanky Lady Lainey office to see if the 'boys' are as rough as I am!

Tuesday, 21 August 2012

Sir Robert of Solihull makes a final visit

Sorry Phil !

I had forgotten to mention yesterday that it was the birthday of the wonderfully talented and very much missed Phil Lynott. Happy Birthday Phil we miss you very much. #theboysarebackintown

Well, well, well. another defeat for England and South Africa take the top spot, however I will not listen to any ramblings about needing KP. Jonny Bairstow was brought into the squad and did Tykes and country proud. He is a great young man with the right fighting spirit that is needed. Playing as part of a team and not as an individual. England put up a fight but I think that they need to go away and put their heads together. Look at their weaknesses and above all learn from the their  losses. Here endeth  my coaching talk!!

Back at super swanky Lady Lainey office, Pony Paul was back from his jollies and wasn't very. Job the Jolly and I continued our very interesting( not really) chat about scalding weeds to death with boiling water to which we are adding vinegar now for extra super good measure. I just need to know how to get rid of blinking hoppy frogs.

And so its Tuesday and Sir Robert of Solihull is coming to visit us ( in his girly car!) for the last time as he is off to pastures new. Although we all wish him jolly good luck in his new job,we really don't want him to go, who will make me laugh on really bad days? who will sort out all the problems that Pony Paul creates, who will now tell the truth about Dan Dan Cowboy Draughtsman? More to the point Sir Robert, 'How long are you giving the new job before you come back' ( OK Rob we know the answer)

So to make his leaving truly memorable( apart from the fact that I, Lady Lainey will be there) we are going out for a special Pizza Hut!!!! Well Joe Rigatonis but same difference in my book.Then having a couple of shandies ( well maybe more than a couple), before saying sad farewells to Sir Robert.

Hurray too for 'Tim'll Fix it', he did! He fixed my washing machine and now I can have clean clothes again, and he sorted out my dishwasher and now I don't have to wear rubber gloves anymore ( well not in the kitchen!! ).And also Countess Christine of Mcnally  who gave Lady Lainey a super dooper separates system with turntable ( very retro but what I wanted) and I can now blast out , Thin Lizzy, Whitesnake, Def Leppard, Motorhead,Free and Bad Company  in fact all my old rock albums!!! Bliss!! .

4 days to finals day!!!!...............tension mounting in Tykes Towers.


Monday, 20 August 2012

Rain Rain not again

Happy Birthday RMFC

Blinking heck its Monday again and back to work! Where did the weekend go?

Sunday morning, got up and had a leisurely brekkie with Dame Didi, then horror of horror it looked as if my freezer had kicked its legs up, after some swearing and crying I discovered that the door wouldn't close because it was iced up, well how on earth was I Lady Lainey to know that, isn't that what you have servants for? To sort out small problems. Well as I have no servants I had to sort it out myself .

Dame Didi went home to an empty nest as the monster children are whooping it up with Madam Auntie Marg and Riotous Rog ( the'outlaws' side of the family) down in London.

 By the time I had hung some pictures, put up a mirror, emptied more boxes I was 'glowing' like a glowy thing. it was very hot and sunny not at all house unpacking weather . I went to have a shower and when I came out it was RAINING. So all plans were put on hold and I decided to 'eBay' some more of my treasures.( I am clearing things out very nicely, but have to reign myself in from buying things to replace sold items very hard if like Lady Lainey you were born to shop!)

It carried on raining all afternoon and all evening so I binned any thoughts of going out for a walk( well could you imagine Lady Lainey running with her tiara on?????) and just sat and watched a Pilates DVD, that was  as close to doing it as I intended getting.

Cricket was ongoing at the Test, last day today and anything could happen!!!!

Yorkshire were playing Sussex at home, I was following on Twitter and to be honest I was jolly well  nearly sick by the time it got to the last over. Sadly my Tykes lost and this means that they cannot get through to the semi's, however well played boys excellent team, great attitude and top coach! And this week we have 'bigger fish to fry' so 'COYT!!!!

Durham were in action ( well maybe action is too strong a word). And they lost to Notts Outlaws, seriously though,they did  play well  with Mark  Stoneman getting his 2nd consecutive one day century.However the Outlaws ( not the same ones as Dame Didi's) won by 43 runs.

So today it is back to the more mundane tasks at work, Job the Jolly and I will be once again joined by 'Pony' Paul who is back from his annual jollies. Should make for a fun day!.

Today is also the birthday of besty ex cricketer friend RMFC, who will be 21 again, hope he has a great day whatever he is are doing. (he'll say it will be a normal day of business.........methinks monkey business!).

The blinking frog now waits for me to go into the extensive grounds of Tykes Towers and then hops out at me, Mr Funky said it is sandy coloured but the one I see is green, so methinks there is a 'hoppy' little frog family living rent free in my grounds. 
YUK!!! I am jolly scared of them and don't like them one little bit!.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho its off to work I go
With a wiggle and a pout
At the 'boys' to shout.
Hi Ho, Hi Ho,Hi Ho Hi Ho..............................

Sunday, 19 August 2012

Sporty Sunday News

At the Malaysian GP from JensonButtonOfficialPage album
'Baron' Button
Yesterday morning, I was sitting finishing off my Blog when my phone beeped. it was a text from Dame Didi. She had been waiting at her computer since 7.15am for me to publish my blog.( it was 7.35am at this point)......methinks she need to get out more, so best speed this up.

Another great Tykes day yesterday. Super besty home county of Yorkshire drew with Derbyshire securing themselves 11  points with Derbyshire gaining 6. This brings the Tykes ever closer  to Derbyshire and means that the remainder of the season is going to be jolly tense. #coyt #strongunit #topteam .
Also a jolly well done to Jonny Bairstow just 5 runs from his maiden Test century but, an amazing show of batting skill, well done Jonny!.

Over at the Test England, South Afirca start today on 145-3.

Former super besty home county of Durham, they won against Notts making 3 out of 3, however overall season total is ....................I went to the Durham CCC website to check the stats and realise that the results for matches haven't been updated since July 10th. Speaks volumes.

Other sporty news for today ,

Adelaide Crows lost 95-85 to Brisbane Lions, hope the Duke is not too disappointed.

Also today August 19th is The Jenson Button Trust Triathlon at Luton Hoo.
This is for Help for Heroes and if anyone would like to donate the link is

Good luck to The Baron Button and everyone taking part.

on this day 19th August

1957 Paul-Jan Bakker  former Hants and Netherlands cricketer was born
1957 Ian Gould  former Middx and Sussex cricketer and now Umpire was born
1909 Indianapolis 500race track opened
1953 England regained the Ashes  and it was Coronation year!

So you may be wondering what I Lady Lainey and Dame Didi did get up to yesterday. well we went out to have a spot of lunch, Dame Didi bought a wine rack ( ha ha spot the alchoplonky!). I nearly bought a new garden set but at the last minute decided not too, and don't ask me about the price of rattan balls!!!. Then we retired to Tykes Towers watched 'Bottle Shock' and  had ''sticky chicken and egg fried rice' for dinner and had a couple of shandies. ( OK maybe couple bottles of Pinot Grigio).
And now its Sunday and I have sooooo much to do, so best get to it.

Saturday, 18 August 2012

Wouldn't you like to be a Tyke?

What a star!

Yesterday made me even prouder to be a Tyke, as you will read further down the page. But before I launch into a run down of  of  yesterday I thought I would give you a few interesting facts about 18th August ( gosh I am really expanding this blog!)

18th August 1951  The 1st class debut of Ray Illingworth

18th August 1966 First pictures of the earth from the moons orbit, sent back to USA.

18th August 1971 Sheffield United beat Leeds United ( sorry Pauly Paul)  3-0 at Bramell Lane  #coyb!!!

and after that little interlude, back to all things crickety ( and super news for all Tykes).

Whoop de doop, I'm not lyin'
3 early wickets by 'Super Tyke Ryan'

I,Lady Lainey was bouncing up and down in my office chair with super excitement ( actually glad that you couldn't see me doing the cheerleading bit with above rhyme! ).I was reading the updates on Twitter and was extra excited that they were playing especially as it had been raining hard at Headingley earlier. Andrew Hodd also made a great start with the team, good going for a 'temp' Tyke. Derbyshire closed on 233-8. #coyt    super team!

And talking about Tykes.......well done to Jonny Bairstow who got his maiden test half century. Big cheers went up in Tykes Towers and a couple of glasses of sherry were consumed last evening! England closed on 208-5 . I am jolly proud of Jonny but think that the Bairstow and Yorkshire CCC family will be even prouder!

Former super besty home team of Durham seemed to still be in shock from the amazing results from yesterday, however they closed the day on 301-7 which begs the question, how are they racking up scores like this now, at the tail end of the season. As I am not attending another Durham match this season I will be unable to comment on whether the comradeship on the field has improved!

Later today Adelaide Crows will be taking on  Brisbane Lions, so a big shout out COYC!!!! Results tomorrow.

I am now awaiting the arrival of  the Gas engineer to come and do his stuff  so as to  finally give me hot water, then going to do my good deed for the day at the local church where friends  Sir Kevin and the fair Hazel are fund raising. Later Dame Didi is coming to stay at Tykes Towers. We are going to do a spot of shopping them settle down to the important things like eating, drinking and watching French films, I think tonight will be  either 'Tell no one' with Kristin Scott Thomas or 'Hors Prix' with Audrey Tautou, or both as they are equally good films. However last minute inclusion in list is good film ( not French but France in it) 'Bottle Shock' with the wonderful Alan Rickman. Think I will leave the decision to the Dame!

Bon journee tout le monde

Friday, 17 August 2012

Rain Rain, went away for my Tykes

Its cold, windy and looks like rain  here in Co Durham but it is Friday!and better still I have the whole weekend to myself, no cricket teas!! So Lady Lainey is going to get on at Tykes Towers finally get sorted. ( eBay is currently groaning under the weight of my items for sale).

I, Lady Lainey was a little taken aback yesterday by Baron Bresnan not being included in the test team, actually I did say the odd naughty word ( damn and blast!!), however he dashed up the M1 to Leeds to join Big Tyke Team. Jonny Bairstow  however was in test team so big Tyke shout out for him.

Yorkshire were able to finally get back out to bat  at Headingley yesterday too  and at lunchtime were 244-3 (sadly Lyth didn't get his century even though I Lady Lainey was willing him to). At tea they were 341-5 and I was super excited with my Tykes. After tea The Tykes went into over drive and scored maximum batting points. At close Derbyshire were 28-1 with Baron Bresnan getting a wicket with the final ball of the day. #COYT #SUPERSTRONGUNIT #BESTCOACH. Lady Lainey super bouncy happy.

Former super besty county of Durham were playing at Nottingham and were all out for 194 ( I think I put the jinx on it when I saw 194-9 on twitter and said they may make 200!!!). When they came back Onions went into bowl like a mad thing and took 5 wickets! Holy Moly this is how they should have been looking at the beginning of the season. He finished on a career best 9-67 Well done Mr Onions, you single handedly crushed Notts. However, we will see what today brings..

Just a post script to my piece about a Durham player who was banned for drink driving. It was reported that he  was banned for 40 months, now this appears to possibly be shortened to 30 months if he does a Drink driving awareness course! When he was banned previously for 20 months he did this course. Am I the only person in the world who can see that if it had no impact on him the first time its not really going to have any impact this time, only in effect shortening the amount of time he is kept from being behind the wheel of a car. OK rant over, but just to say that I personally would like to have a chat with him regarding living daily with the end result of drink driving.  OK FINISHED NOW YOU CAN SWITCH BACK ON!!!! #interestedtoknowif hehearsaboutthis

Super besty ex cricketer friend RMFC was 'pumped up' at 8.30am yesterday morning as he was off to Lords. with his mates to the rousing cry of 'COYE'. I am assuming he had a great time. Hopefully he made it home in one piece. South Africa seemed to lose  wickets quite quickly but closed the day on 262-7.

Count Christophe called me at lunchtime yesterday to let me know his results.( he is mid way through A' levels). Not as good as he was expecting, but has promised to pull his socks up, knuckle down and not go to Saltburn drinking cider so that his super besty Auntie Lady Lainey has to get him home!! However he is off to London with the Rt Hon Richard for a week and hopefully they will both have a great time.

Also today is the 5th anniversary of my 'freedom', not that I am counting though!!!!

Woohoo best tiara at the ready Dame Didi and Lady Lainey can whoop it up this weekend!!!

Thursday, 16 August 2012

broken nails,cricket tales and office males

Pic of the day.To help me get over my shock!

Boooohooooo ( yes I know Duke of Adelaide, 'toughen up Princess) I, Lady Lainey decided to venture out into the extensive ground of 'Tykes Towers' and indulge in a spot of weeding and moss removing last night (late I may add). It all seemed to be a jolly good idea, I was digging out dandelions with a screwdriver and then scorching the remnants with boiling water when a HUGE, GIANT, MASSIVE ( OK it was about 3in) frog hops out of some grass and looks at me!!! I, Lady Lainey scream, drop the screwdriver and break two nails trying to get off the floor! The frog hops off, I run into 'Tykes Towers' lock the door and look in horror at the breakages to nails!.
So lesson learnt from this?..........Let Mr Funky come round and deal with all things flora and fauna!.

Super besty ex cricketer friend RMFC, is off to Lords today and very kindly offered me a ticket for tomorrow! Lady Lainey is very tempted to do a runner to London ( former home) and go and whoop it up with crickety blokes and drink champers and join in with 'The Barmy Army' and have a flipping brill time...................but Lady Lainey has to go to work so had to decline super offer. RMFC is a top bloke.

Cricket news for super besty home county of Yorkshire from yesterday, they went in to bat and were not doing too badly on the scoring  of runs when the rain came down and down and down. Loved Gillespie the Gallants tweet 'Rain go away' understated to say the least.Sadly rain didn't go away. I am hoping that it will be fine today

Former( super besty ) home county of Durham were at Nottingham and fared  little better weather wise.

Trouble also  for player from said county.( second time on drink driving charges) banned from driving for 40 months and fined. Drink driving!! Luckily there was not anyone else involved, however ( and now I get onto my soap box) as someone who has been on the receiving end of an accident caused by a drunk driver, a ban for the driver and more expensive insurance when they eventually get to drive again , seems very cheap to me as I  carry the scars  from my accident for the rest of my life Sometimes the drunk driver gets off lightly and sometimes, someone ( me ) gets a 'life' sentence, sometimes some people don't even have life!. OK got that off my chest and now onto other things.

 Ian Blackwell on loan to Warwickshire.........What on earth is that all about? Better catering than The Riverside?  :-)

Sad news yesterday that super brave and amazing Fabrice Muamba ( former team mate of cousin  Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo) is retiring from football. A very brave and talented young man, who has been dedicated to returning to the game that he loves, however has been advised otherwise. I wish him the very best of luck for the future.

Finally a funny thing happened in super swanky Lady Lainey office  yesterday, Dan Dan Cowboy Draughtsman was in his office banging around making huge amount of noise. He came into my office and said that he had a fly which was annoying him, so I gave him a can of fly spray saying 'try this'.He then went back to his office. 2 minutes later the banging noise resumed ( yes you've guessed it, he was trying to kill the fly with the tin!). I, Lady Lainey sometimes think that I was destined for better things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, 15 August 2012

Cricket week again

Jolly Happy Tykes

Things are  starting to come together at Tykes Towers, I feel like Laurence Llewelyn Bowen ( no not literally!! for the love of God I do have some taste!) running round 'Towers' putting up curtains plumping up cushions and fluffing pillows etc. I have also been using my joinery skills ( OK I fib slightly, I have been using a screwdriver), to put together beautiful cabinet. Did ask my cousin Sir Steve of Wilko  to help me but he is obviously off jousting or rescuing fair maidens ( probably the later and not necessarily fair either....), as he didn't respond. How very jolly rude though and I am considering crossing him off the Christmas card list!
PS   he has  finally responded that he is in foreign lands on Crusades ( on the lash more like!)

Woohoo its cricket again! Yorkshire, super besty home county are home to Derbyshire in a big match this week, Yeahhhh!!! His Royal Ryanness is on the team too so big Tykes shout out for the boys #COYT. Also a huge sigh of relief that his Royal Ryanness is fit again , 6 weeks on the sick, not good in anyones books! I once had a broken elbow, was off work for 3 months and ended up getting engaged!,but that is a completely different story!!!

Well done again to Gillespie the Gallant, who's ears must have been burning  as Job the Jolly and I spent most of  yesterday discussing cricket ( mainly the fiasco that is 'FIGJAM' ) and the state of other home county and then how great to see super besty home county of  Yorkshire back on track. We both agreed that a Knighthood is well deserved by Gillespie the Gallant for his services and the fact that he has indeed brought together a strong unit. #dizzylovesahashtagladylaineylovesYorks

As you can tell we had sooooo much spare time at work that we could sit chatting about cricket!!!! Yes its going to be jolly hectic in super swanky Lady Lainey office today as once again it's just Job the Jolly and I.

Other home team, yes you all know who they are ( not in Lady Lainey's good books either!) are away at Trent Bridge,  Usual suspects on the team and hopefully they will have another win which will  make them all feel  as if they are on top of the world instead of on top of the poo heap!

I have been to see about a buying a fetching new frock  to wear when I go to Scarborough with Mr Funky   ( now only for one blinking day as Mr Funky says he has to go to work, WORK....... CRICKET ......something does not weigh up here!!).I have narrowed it down to 10! That should keep me out of mischief for the next few lunchtimes!

And finally on the cricket front, NO, NO, NO, NO, U TURN ON KP!!!!!!!!!

Also 'popped' round  last evening to see Countess Christine of McNally and got 'loved to death' by the Royal hounds!. Everything crossed that the Countess gets the job as Veterinary nurse that she was interviewed for yesterday.

 Not sure if anyone was watching 'Accused' on BBC 1 last night  when 'Sir, Sean Bean showed off a side to his acting skills never seen before, had lots of texts regarding him not being a 'good looking woman' well that was the whole point he was not a woman!!! However loved him reciting 'The Lady of Shalott' in his fab Sheffield accent.

Finally today August 15th  is a chance  for the Wilko's/Robbo's  to have a quiet moment to remember Uncle Rt Hon Robbo Snr ( Uncle Jim). Great cricketer of Shildon BR CC and Darlington RA. Also football referee who no doubt would have given Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo a 'clip' if he had played up on the football field!

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

Lady Lainey is feeling relieved

Not my computer!, mine is fixed now!

AARRGGGHHHHH how did we ever manage in the 'olden days' before computers and the internet?  I was  tearing my orange curls out  yesterday with my lack of internet, however the Knight of the Broadband came out  in his rusty ( not trusty) van and fixed it, hurray I am now all back to normal ( well  what ever normal is in Lady Lainey land!).

The Olympics have now finished, and Team GB did very well putting us 3rd in the medal table, so The Duke of Adelaide will be able to get some extra sleep instead of getting up at 4am every morning, but well done that man a great effort on his behalf. Also well done all Olympians, but most especially Wiggo!.

 Anyhooo back to other things, Count  Christophe besty eldest monster child nephew is now back to lying in bed all day after having a totally brill time working at an Architects in Whitby. He is getting himself back into the swing of being a teenager at college rather then a member of working world. It may have been a brief insight into real life and he enjoyed it, but the prospect of being in bed in daylight hours still has more appeal!!!

Dame Didi is totally stressed out with helping me out at Tykes Towers and spending a morning with Tzarina Katerina. And she doesn't want to sleep in my spare bedroom as the tenant had left 'Budgie' curtains up which I have yet to remove ( WTF !!!! Who would have curtains with budgies on ......Geoff Capes maybe ( Google it!). I will have to get new curtains or the Dame won't be coming to stay.. The office ( 3rd bedroom) is also in need of painting so if anyone has a spare day......................

Whilst unpacking etc,I opened the big blue trunk that I have had forever and inside wedding dress!!!! well I quickly closed the lid on that!!!!, I think that I kept it on the off chance of a marriage to Sir Sean of Bean.  However with hindsight his track record is not too good and much as I enjoy a piece of wedding cake, me thinks Sean enjoys it more!

I have also put quill to paper and written to Durham CCC re all my gripes. well better to get it off your chest, when it arrives at said club it will no doubt be filed under 'BIN' as when I have corresponded with them previously I have had no response. Very bad form, but only what I am coming to expect from them.
I am checking out Tykes membership as we speak!

So things are getting there at 'Tykes Towers' with the exception of

* No hot water ( can I pop round anyone's for a shower?)
* Frogs in the garden
* Washing machine awaiting new door
* Dishwasher still to be plumbed in
* Women who still have PJ's on at 5pm in the afternoon????????????? ( and its not me)
* Still a nightmare really

But its home!!!

Monday, 13 August 2012

Still no internet......

Not a happy bunny with internet supplier

Well still no internet in Tykes Towers and I am truly getting my tiara in a twist, how is a Lady supposed to function!!!

Well I am managing to do this before starting work so will have to keep it relatively brief!

 WOOOOOHOOOOO I was fair turning cartwheels yesterday with the super news that his Royal Ryanness was back in the first team and guess what?........ he took 2 wickets in his opening spell. Well I Lady Lainey was whooping with delight (keeping up with the results on Twitter) which may have been a little strange, shouting 'Come on you Tykes' and 'Yorkshire' when I was sitting at Chester-le -Street, watching other home county because mean old Mr Funky wouldn't take me to Headingley!.

And although rain and DL contrived to deny The Tykes a win, they blinking well did it!! so jolly well done and a super welcome back to Ryan,Lady Lainey has missed you over the last 6 weeks! I am soooo excited can't wait for Scarborough!

At the other home county, it was business as it should have been from the start of the season, why are they playing out their skins now? The rumour mill was in full flow regarding players and staff but until anything is  announced no point in speculating. The nicest part of yesterday was getting to sit on the boundary and watching  Simon Jones of Glamorgan.

At tea they announced the bowling figures for the Welsh Dragons.

Announcer  Bowling figures for the Welsh Dragons, Simon Jones, 8 overs for 71 runs. No wickets, No Maidens.

Lady Lainey  ( in super excited voice) Oh I will be his maiden!

Mr Funky  A few years too late I think.

I, Lady Lainey then poked Mr Funky very hard in the ribs, hopefully he will have a bruise for being jolly rude about me!

Durham went on to win the match which made lots of the Durham members very happy. It was my last match at The Riverside this season and may be my last match as a Durham member ( after 20 years). We will have to see what the end of season brings.

Dame Didi is coming over to Tykes Towers today to wait for the engineer who is hopefully going to give me back my internet!
I am lost without it!

Will I mention the KP (FIGJAM) debacle, only to say WELL DONE JONNY BAIRSTOW pleased to see you in the squad!

Sunday, 12 August 2012

Durham win

This will be very short today as I, Lady Lainey am trying to type this on my phone what a blinking carry on so in brief
1) Durham beat Surrey in CB40 match

2) Figjam has released a video of himself saying he is commited to English crickrt. Yeah I Lady Lainey believes that!

3) Mr Funky still a meanie!!

 4) Things back to normal. Too much wine at cricket and  bad headache this morning

 5) The Duke saw us on the TV in Oz! Wow technology is amazing

6) better blog tomorrow sorry its jolly rubbish today

7) back at cricket today and not having any wine either!!!

Saturday, 11 August 2012

I'm back on top form!

LADY LAINEY IS BACK!!!, after a fantastic first nights sleep in Tykes Towers ( and oversleeping, resulting in going to super swanky office without  war paint on yesterday!) I still feel a little tired, but feel like me again! ( except that The Duke of Adelaide was very cheeky saying he did not believe I was 21! cheeky boy, how very dare he!).

And talking about The Duke,he was off to the Aussie Footy to watch  the Crows who claimed a 28 point win over Fremantle and I think that the Duke will be super bouncy happy. Also a big thanks to him too for always retweeting my blog.

 Super massive shout out for Gillespie the Gallant who retweeted my blog yesterday saying 'worth a read'. I was nearly bouncing off the walls of super swanky Lady Lainey office when I saw it! Thank you Jason.

Durham have extended Mitchell Claydon's contract by another 2 years, He has been either playing 2nd team or 'water boy' for the 1st's the majority of this season, so fingers crossed this is a worthwhile resign. I am wondering what other news will start to filter through from Durham. Pauly Paul has still not imparted his gossip to me!!

You may be thinking that Lady Lainey is jolly well off her rocker having a picture of his Royal Ryanness eating his lunch, well I found it,and I liked it, and he looks to be liking his lunch so I decided that it would be the photo of the day! Looking at it now I realise that Ryan is holding his knife and fork as a right handed person would and he bowls left handed, Lady Lainey is now a very confused Lady bird.!!!!

 And talking about all things Ryanness ( OK I always do!)I am nearly turning blue and getting dizzy ( no not Gillespie the Gallant !), holding my breath waiting to hear if he is playing on Sunday! Its way too many weeks since he went on sick leave! Really glad that he is back in the fold now!

Prepared all the teas for super Shildon BR CC, and crammed it into Lady Lainey limo and  have to drop off at  Rt Hon Robbo Jr's house, then just wait  for Mr Funky to collect me to take me to Durham. I have prepared all his favourites for I am trying to pursued him to go to HEADINGLEY tomorrow, in case of the return of his Royal Ryanness. I think he will say no! he can be a bit of a party pooper sometimes, but you never know. Latest news, Mr Blinking Funky won't take me to Leeds tomorrow!! I am having massive tiara throwing tantrum now!

Other news from around the place is that

1) I don't like frogs ( the hopping kind that are in my garden!)
2) I don't like spiders ( the giant kind that are in  Tykes Towers)
3) Mr Funky is a super meanie!!!!
4) 'Would like to be Lord Lainey' has totally disappeared! wooohoo
5) Not watching closing of the Olympics (WTF, THE SPICE GIRLS I ask you!!!)
6) Talk Talk and lady Lainey are not besty friends!

 Talk Talk have messed up big time and I am still without internet access and so I may not be here tomorrow , oh no I hear you all cry, what will we do without our 'daily lady lainey' do not worry I will try my very hardest to get to a computer ( my phone is impossible to try to write it on). I am sitting in the local library at the moment scrawling this to you all. and so with that I will take my leave, go back to tykes towers and wait for Mr 'Meanie' Funky.

Friday, 10 August 2012

Toughen up Princess

Pictures of white roses

You might be wondering on the title. The Duke of Adelaide told me that they use this expression in Australia ( I had sent him a picture of my bruises from moving) and so today I,Lady Lainey am well and truly toughening up!! Time to move onto the next chapter in my already way too eventful life.

Over at the cricket Tykes 2nd's played a blinder ( His Royal Ryanness getting 28no in second innings), woohoo he is on great batting form, now to get him back to super dooper bowling form. And apparently  he is in super slimline form too and rumour has it  he may make be back 1st team on Sunday. Good luck Ryan you have been missed by Lady Lainey. The 2nd's won by 181 runs.

Big Tyke Team were in Northampton playing a CB 40 match and won by 69 runs, so well done you boys, now you have to build the momentum for the match against Derbyshire next week. And not long to  the BIG ONE, the one you have all been waiting for!!  yes, Lady Lainey at Scarborough!!!   oh yes and T20 finals day ( really I am so super excited about finals day). So once again I am jumping up and down with excitement and shouting at the top of my voice #COYT.

Durham.........there are strange goings on there I am sure.Mr Funky was there but didn't have Pauly Pauls phone number and I wanted all the gossip!! BOYS!! Do they not know that gossip is the lifeblood of any well respecting Lady! I have to go to super swanky Lady Lainey office to earn pennies for new tiaras( they are so spendy you know!). I have to sit at my desk, shout at boys and look pretty, so unable to go to cricket during the week.And Mr Funky and Pauly Paul cannot organise to get together and exchange tidbits of gossip for Lady Lainey!! REALLY!!!  Oh yes and Durham won.....

Had a jolly tiring evening, climbing over boxes ( again), and couldn't face to start unpacking, but needed to find useful things, ( like kettle and coffee and wine glass!) so peeped into a few boxes found glasses and  decided not to bother  with the other bits. so glugged a glass of wine ( or 2) instead, Then tottered up my new super swish staircase and  went to bed.

 Hopefully will see Dame Didi soon, as it has been forever since I have seen her, I hope that  she can get over to the 'Towers next week, more to the point I hope that I have emptied some boxes so that she can get in!. Tzarina Katerina has been sending me texts, but luckily I still haven't a phone line so don't have to listen to her nattering on for hours about the prices of world cruises!

Now that I am ensconced in Tykes Towers, I can get back to being super bouncy Lady Lainey, I feel that the past weeks have been very telling on me and so a weekend at the cricket is just what the doctor would order. I am dropping off the teas for super Shildon BR and then will chill out and let Mr Funky drive me to other home county of Durham , have a couple of sherries,  then return to Tykes Towers to relax. ( real scenario, Mr Funky picks me up, I drink copious amounts of wine, Mr Funky puts me back in car and I wake up with a stinking headache!!! ah yes that's when you know that life is returning to normal).

Thursday, 9 August 2012

Lady Lainey of Tykes Towers

Champagne tonight?

Well after getting my Tiara in a twist for nearly 6 months over house problems, I am finally in Tykes Towers ( now renamed in honour of 'my boys' and formerly LT TowersII). What a blinking relief to know that tonight I can go home and kick off my Jimmy Choos and run around the house in my birthday suit without risk of catching my death of cold or something worse! ( OK I am not going to run around the house in my birthday suit, I don't want to fall out with the neighbours that quickly!).

So that all done I can move onto news of the super fabby besty home county in the world, Yes, Yorkshire!
After a  a close run defeat on Tuesday evening, they are putting it behind them and getting ready for a match tonight.
The 2nd XI were on top form after the 'Maurauding Ryans' (Sidebottom and Gibson) put on a great 8 wicket stand of 138 (is this a record?) against MCC Universities on Tuesday. ( His super fabby royal Ryanness getting 55 no out when Yorks declared yesterday wooooohoooo). Close of play all looking good for the Tykes!

Durham started the day 10 runs behind Surrey and made ground with Colleywobble Collingwood getting a 78  before being caught behind. Then later there was some confusion as Mustard was given out and then brought back as wrong decision, well it all goes off when I am not there!!!!

The Duke of Adelaide was a Little cheeky this morning, suggesting that I,Lady Lainey may have been behaving in a less than ladylike way...........that's next week when I have finally recovered from the move!!!!

Well I am keeping this short as I am closing the door on one chapter of my life and going to open a new chapter after 5pm, so wish me luck.

Also blogs will be running late on mornings until further notice as Talk Talk have not sorted out my line at Tykes Towers (ARGHHHH!!!)

You may have noticed a distinct lack of 'Would Like to be Lord Lainey', wooohoo me too!!!!!!! Peace at last!!!!!

Tuesday, 7 August 2012

I love my Tykes!

This is not what I am talking about!

Holy macaroni!!!! Heard  the news that KP (or FIGJAM, which ever you prefer), has hinted that he will retire after the Third test! Well that I will believe when it happens, I blinking well think that he should stop talking about it. Well my actual thoughts are let him go and bring through some fresh blood..

 As for KP I will just add this quote by him, which I feel strengthens my case in the 'FIGJAM' debate, because goodness me when you say that you are  'aware of the concern your possible retirement would cause supporters', I shout 'make the doorways bigger to get his head through!'
and then just to make me get jolly  well stroppier he adds
"For me, the saddest part about all this is that the spectators love watching me play and I love playing for England," 

 Yeah but KP, you love playing in the IPL more!!!!
OK enough of all this nonsense, it is fair making my pretty head hurt and I need to move onto more important matters.

Super besty home county of ..............
The boys were  travelling to Warwickshire on the 'VengaBus' according to @YCCCDizzy. I laughed so much at that, I spilt my coffee on my desk.
They were playing a 40 overs match against Warks,. I was keeping up with it on Twitter and Sky kept tweeting  what an exciting match. it was, I  Lady Lainey was totally pooped after long day in super swanky office looking pretty and then had to stay up to see what was going on.  Then at 10.38pm Warks won by 3 wickets. :-(  keep strong boys, #strongunit ' #greatspirit #bestcoach #coyt.
Also big thanks to Gillespie the Gallant who tweeted me with the news that His Royal Ryanness is playing for the 2nd's at York ( and I can't get any time off work!!!!) and scored 50 yesterday...#COYR

Other home County...............

Were at home to Surrey and took a wicket  a very early, 11.18am I think , Mr Funky was there watching, sending comments via text. Then he started sending text frantically as Durham were bowling like demons!, And apparently ( yes here comes gossip) all the team were there, either on the balcony or in the nets, and that's those that were not out in the field, the whole squad, hanging around their place of work, what ever next......Day 1 ended with them 10 runs behind!( and yes I know that you all think that I am sometimes unfair to them but hey! I pays me money I get to have me say)

Mr Funky was 'Billy no mates'  as Pauly Paul and Dynamo Dom were no where to be seen, and of course I. the lovely Lady Lainey was busy in the office, shouting at 'boy' ( as there is only one in office today to shout at) and looking pretty and 'Tweeting' Gillespie the Gallant. ( He will be glad when I have gone on my jollies and the season is over!!)

Also have to say a very  super big 'Get well soon' to The Duke of Adelaide who has been out of sorts for a few days, and I am jolly well not surprised, nearly two weeks of getting up at 4am to watch the Olympics and then go to work! True devotion to sport. So get well super soon your Dukeship.

The Crows are playing on Saturday morning on ESPN for anyone in UK interested, sadly I won't be able to watch as cricket teas, cricket, Mr Funky's tea to make,boxes to unpack, nervous breakdown to finally kick on earth will I have time to watch Aussie Rules footy.

Only the last bits to put in Lady Laineys limo now and then new home, new start, and all around the corner from the former Lord Lainey.............I must have done something very bad in a past life!

England draw

Well the super news is that the spare room is sorted at Tykes Towers ( formerly LT Towers II), and the office is good to go as soon as I move the computer over,but as I have no broadband until goodness knows when, I am hanging  on at LT Towers with the computer. Dining room still full of boxes but I am finally seeing a fresh start ahead.

Which is exactly what the England selectors need to be having.....a  fresh start with a  fresh team!, and I think that you all know who would go first in my cull! Although it did look as if the final day was going to be quite thrilling ( not a word I use to describe an England match very often!), with South Africa declaring at 258, leaving England  253 to win in 39 overs. Yipppeeee!!!  England looked as if they were going to really go for it but after losing their 4th wicket with 20 overs gone, they looked to just be playing it safe! At 7.32pm yesterday evening the match was drawn.

That is all the cricket news I have today which is jolly sad for me, as I have been lost without checking Twitter every five minutes to see what is going on at Super besty home county and the other one!

I am seriously black and blue and have some very bad bruising on my wrists, one of the 'cheeky boys' at work made reference to 'ropes' and 'not that tight in future'. HHMMMM he won't be saying that to Lady Lainey again!!

Well tomorrow is D Day or M Day as it should be, yes I will finally be moving lock, stock and tiara's into Tykes Towers, I know that you will all be breathing a sigh of relief as I think that you must be jolly bored stiff, with me rattling on about moving and boxes and aches and pains and bruises. etc.

And as I have been at the said house nearly every waking moment, I have been missing out on other sports news, but apparently Team GB won another gold in the velodrome and a bronze in ladies gymnastics. so well done.
Mr Funky also text to ask me if I was going to watch Durham this weekend, so after some hasty negotiations with  Rt Hon Robbo Jr and  Dame Didi ( Yes she is back from La Belle France, hurray!), I can relax in super new home and also go to cricket safe in the knowledge that my cricket tea empire is in safe hands.

Monday, 6 August 2012

Nearer to move in!

Besty soft toy cuddle friend

What a busy old day I had yesterday, went over to LT Towers II ( which I am considering renaming 'Tyke Towers' in honour of super best home county, The Republic of Yorkshire). and sorted out my bedroom and the lounge and kitchen ( very important as I need somewhere to sit and somewhere to sleep and somewhere to make food.). The rest of the house will be sorted out as and when work and cricket commitments allows.

Then off to Super swanky  cricket club Marton.
Oh dear, I think my teas may be taking their toll on the players as they were all out for 55!!!!!!!!! OMG they could all play 1st team for Durham with that score. Gave them a pep talk at tea time ( pull your socks up,don't let Lady Lainey down, etc) but as you can tell defeat was on the cards!.

Then back home and onto the job of giving LT Towers a bit of a clean and polish, I just wanted to sit down with a bucket of wine, but needed a clear head so soldiered on.

Also yesterday Adelaide Crows won their match against Essendon, which takes them up to 2nd position with 4 matches left this season. #COYC. The Duke of Adelaide was super excited he was 'woohooing' all over the place. Hope the Duchess had her earplugs in!

Durham's match against Scotland was rained off, the outfield was too wet for play, when they said ' with so much wetness around it is going to affect the game' I thought that they were being a tad rude about Durham!

Test match was abandoned  with South Africa on 39-0 and taking a lead.England closed their first innings on 429 and FIGJAM never got off his 149 score.

Yorkshire had a rare Sunday off and his Royal Ryanness went off to watch his cousin play cricket at Harrogate CC, he tweeted 'Bowls faster than me :) #nothard' which made me laugh so much my tiara was all askew. And he got a mention on Sky at the test too, they were wittering on about left arm bowlers and then my ears pricked up when they mention his Royal Ryannness. Yes indeed a great left arm bowler!.

M'Lady Margaret made my dinner and sent it round with Baron Bill posing as delivery boy, how wonderful all my friends have been, how very kind to look after me whilst I am 'inbetween' two houses, I will be eternally grateful to everyone for their help.

Watching the Olympics, it has been great to see so many medals being won by Team GB, however, although I love to hear everyone singing the National Anthem, I hate the fact that they sing it incorrectly. Please someone tell them that the last line is 'God save THE  Queen' not 'OUR Queen'. I learnt this at school, do they not teach children it now!!!

Spoke to Dame Didi and she said she is hooked on my blog. She said that I keep her up to date on everything that is happening in the UK sports wise ( she is a huge F1 fan), and also she  is able to keep up on what is going on in Lady Lainey Land!. She has found a new tiara for our special trip in November ( it is Top Secret and you will all find out in good time), so we will both have new tiara's to wear on the trip ( which is making my eyes well up with tears at the thought, I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT IT, but am not telling until closer to the time). We are going on special trip as it will be the official birthday of Lady Lainey and I will be 21 ( yeah and if you believe that.........)

By  bedtime I was  so tired I just made it my mattress ( beds have been moved) and cuddled up with Pink Hippo ( besty soft toy cuddle friend).

And now I am up and ready for what ever Monday brings.

Sunday, 5 August 2012

More cricket and more cricket teas!

Come back soon your Royal Ryanness

I, Lady Lainey have been up since the crack of dawn finishing off sustenance for cricketers of super swanky cricket club of Marton. Luckily my besty friend M'lady Margaret, came round last night and helped me to do things in readiness for today as I am beginning to think that I am stretching my self a bit thin at the moment.My elbow is still very very sore but I will soldier on, like the Lady that I am.

On the cricket front, England had a jolly good day. With (pains me to say it) KP scoring a century and finishing the day 149 not out. however his comment of ' I have never batted better in my life' brings to mind a nickname that I heard he had been given 'FIGJAM'. You can see why he is in much demand in the IPL!!
I think that the South Africans will go out today with a stronger game plan.

Once again rain followed my Tykes, this time to Northamptonshire which resulted in the match being drawn. rather than giving a chance of victory for my super boys. I feel for the team, can appreciate if they are frustrated, but come on boys! Keep strong, and a busy week this week for you all , so  #COYT. Don't let your best Lady super fan down( I know you won't).

Durham are playing Scotland today and although they  beat them earlier in the season, Scotland for me, always seem to be a strong bowling team, lets see if they have improved in their batting.

When I was doing teas at super Shildon BR yesterday, there was a lot of mutterings about the state of Durham CCC and you know that I am not one to indulge in idle gossip about cricket  ( well OK may be I do now and again!). It appears that lots of other folk ( and not just Lady Lainey) are appalled by the apparent lack of team spirit, fighting spirit, Durham spirit, too much drinking of spirits!!!! Socks pulled up and all that type of thing is needed, but I won't get on my soapbox again about this I think that you all know how I feel.

Mr Funky came over yesterday evening to move some things for me and fair nearly chopped his finger off!!! Well all right I exaggerate slightly, but he cut his finger very badly. after putting a 'Power Rangers' plaster on for him, he was back to his usual self. He went home to have a bath and get ready to watch Jessica Ennis in her race.

Now I wondered if Jessica realised that Mr Funky had a bath specially for her?????

Saturday, 4 August 2012


Ouchhhhh, Oooowwww, youchhhhhh  I, Lady Lainey am black and blue and in extreme pain! I bruised my shins trying to unjam the bed from the stairwell, and now have woken up in agony with Tennis Elbow, no I haven't been slugging it out with Rafa Nadal (sadly), it is the result of lifting and carrying lots of heavy boxes etc ( I have had it before and it jolly well hurts a lot). So now sitting here feeling very sorry for myself, and giving myself a very bad headache due to the fact that water keeps leaking out of my eyes!!

However this will not get me moved to LT Towers II so I put on  my besty Tiara in the world , slap on some make up, glance at my orange curls ( no way would I attempt to comb that birdsnest!) and one armed, start to get things ready for the van coming.

Crickety brief news,
Durham beat Australia A
Super home county of Yorkshire playing at Northants, Northants 352 all out,  Yorks 5-0 at close of play, #COYT,#strongunit,#beatthemintosubmissiontoday.
Test match, England were 48-0 at close of play.

Sorry its brief on the cricket news but house move is affecting everything!

Other news,

Becky Addlington didn't get a gold
Sharon Davies face still hasn't moved a muscle
Katherine Grainger and  Anna Watkins win rowing gold.
Victoria Pendelton wins gold

Go girls!!!!

other news
Typing with one hand is very very difficult
My eyes keep leaking water because painkillers haven't kicked in yet
Yorkshire are the super best county in the world
Pauly Paul kept me up to date with the 'rotund' player at the Durham match
Cousin Rt Hon  Hooligan Robbo still not got a club to play footy for this season

Gold medal  for the day goes to The Duke of Adelaide who did the shopping yesterday and I hope that he put it all away too, which will make him a super boy in my eyes. ( Former Lord Lainey would do shopping, deposit onto kitchen floor for Lady Lainey to put away, and sit down with a beer, pizza, sweeties and any other junk he had bought for himself as a reward for being super swell husband!!!)

Got to go and serve teas  to super Shildon BR, one handed, but will get some help from cousin Rt Hon Robbo Jr.

Hope the painkillers kick in soooooon  :'-(

Friday, 3 August 2012

I've got that Friday feeling,I hope it is Friday????

Scarborough Cricket Club

I am so super bouncy happy today as it is now  just over 4 weeks to Scarborough Festival when hopefully I will win the 3rd prize in the raffle, the bat signed by all the Super home county team of  Yorkshire, Mr Funky says I am not to set my heart on winning said prize, as lots of other folk bought tickets too, Well boo sucks Mr Funky, I Lady Lainey truly believe that if you want something hard enough you will get it. ( Actually strike that, I am still waiting for Sean Bean to turn up on my doorstep on my birthday!).  Anyhoo, I am super excited about going to see my 'Tykes' BUT it will be the last time until next season  (boo hoo) because just after this I am off to La Belle France on my jollies to Dame Didi's chateau. ( and she has stocked up the cellar in preparation for my visit)

Well first day of the test match and England  brought in Broad, dropped Swann and looked to be panicking as to whether they had the mix right this time. Close of play saw South Africa on 262-5.Wonder what today will bring.

Yorkshire at Northamptonshire,  Super best home team of Yorkshire sent the bowlers in to get the game really started, rain brought the game to a standstill until after 3pm, they went back on, got ready to bowl and the heavens opened again. 10 mins later sun out and back on,my boys must have looked like they were on elastic from the Pavilion!!!and by close of play they were off for more rain or in the words of Gillespie the Gallant  'honking weather!' I can't wait for his Royal Ryanness to be fit for action again!

Durham against Australia A at Chester-Le-Street, Mr Funky has been there and  sitting on Lady Lainey's spot on the boundary, how very dare he!. However he kept me up to date with text messages etc which are way more amusing than the reports that Durham CCC put on twitter. Loved the comment from Mr Funky on Wednesday, about a rather rotund player being out just before tea, nearly running off the field, ( as Mr Funky said , he was fastening the napkin around his neck as he was taking the Pavilion steps two at a time),obviously there was nothing left for anyone else when tea was actually called!.

Australia A were all out out for 159 with Brathwaite taking the last wicket. Durham went in to bat and were 49-5 by lunchtime. WTF!!! I was in danger of flipping my tiara!!! When I squealed out loud in the office 'What is wrong with Durham?' (rhetorical  question) one of my 'boys' piped up ' They are a load of jolly old doggy do do ' ( well something along those lines).
Can you get a refund on your membership? I am blinking well thinking about applying for one!!!

On to homey type things
Had  the big furniture ( beds etc, one bed is jammed on the staircase as I type!) moved last night and both houses now resemble bombsites! I will just  be flipping well glad when I can lock  door on LT Towers and put that nightmare behind me. It will take me a while to get LT Towers II to how I want it to be ( real swanky abode), but hey Rome wasn't built in a day. Also big shout out to 'Talk Talk' who have managed to mess up completely on the phone front, which will result in me being without phone or broadband for a  couple of days ( although I actually do not believe that it will be on the day after that either).Hope that I don't miss out on blogging.

Last night after moving the furniture, my besty friend  M'Lady Margaret sent her hubby Baron Bill round to my house with dinner she had prepared for me. How very kind and thoughful, but if you knew M'Lady Margaret you would not be surprised by this gesture. I love going round to her castle which is all white, walls, furniture etc, Lady Laineys dream home, but in France not UK.

Big shout out too for 'Dashing' Dave Simpson who very kindly told me last night that everyone who is anyone reads my blog! Love it!!!

So its Friday and the start of a super super busy weekend for I, Lady Lainey , sustenance to the cricketers, Saturday and Sunday ( weather permitting), final move to get all things into the house( I am sure that someone has been dumping furniture in my house when I wasn't looking,, I didn't think that I had that much stuff!!!!). PHEWWWW before I blooming well know it, it will be Monday again and back to work.................................................................