Monday, 31 December 2012

Lady Lainey's review of the year

Beautiful Durham Cathedral

Well since 7am this morning we have had numerous power cuts here in the icy wastes of the North and I have lost my blog more times than I care to recall. So as I am in danger of tearing out my orange curls and throwing my tiara I will get on with it and 'save' as I go..........

Everywhere you look there is a review of 2012 so here is mine,

January started in Lady Lainey land as my first real January in 11 years being single and that was the best feeling in the world, however it was also the first year since we lost Her Serene Highness which made the month slightly tinged with sadness.

February should have been normal service resumed, but the recurring damp problem at LT Towers came back with flipping gusto and everywhere downstairs was cold and wet, I (stupidly) was given the impression that 6 weeks and all sorted ( great workman speak!).

March was a blur of moving furniture upstairs at LT Towers and also getting all the 'Platinum Duck' things in order ready for the start of the cricket season next month. forward planning and all that, I was now living in my bedroom as downstairs was a 'no go ' area and upstairs was crammed with furniture. This is not how a Lady lives.

April  I decided to spice up my orange curls for the 'Friendly' at Chester Le Street,  former  besty home county club of Durham V Besty home county club of Yorkshire. Spicing up was not quite the result and my hair was more 'fluorescent orange' than 'subtle jaffa!' Well Gillepsie the Gallant and his Royal Ryanness could hardly fail to notice me with my curls being whipped around the wind.
 Dame Didi and I headed over the snow filled M62 to Manchester and flew out to Chateau Didi where we 'moved like Jagger' and managed to move the neighbours tooo!!!!
Came back to LT Towers to find half my dining room wall removed to fit 'another ' damp proof course.

May  saw super cricket tea empire of 'Platinum Duck' very busy...................storing lots of food in freezers due to hideous wet weather which affected cricket at all levels. Also the rain was not helping the situation at LT Towers and I eventually gave in and gave the tenants notice at LT Towers II , two months to wait to move and started packing  ready for that day.

June Brought us a super long weekend to celebrate the Queens Diamond Jubilee and also the chance to see a little bit more cricket  even some 2nd XI. End of June saw T20 with the clash of the Former and the besty home counties of Durham and Yorkshire. I nearly choked on my Ribena, when I glanced up to the away balcony and saw his Royal Ryanness topless!!!! Yes topless!!! Made my evening ( Well I was with Mr Funky the Chauffeur and 'Would like to be Lord Lainey')

July  saw the start of my blog and your introduction into the wild world of Lady Lainey you were also introduced to my series of photographs 'Cricketers posteriers' ( to be added to this year). I also went to see Australia play ( with 'Would like to be Lord Lainey) track that back on the blogs what a cracking day that was (not!).

August saw the move to LT Towers II ( now Tykes Towers), a beautiful house that 'strangely' had water coming out of a tap and not out of the walls!! how very novel.!!!! Lots of tea making and fun at Shildon cricket club with cousin Rt Hon Robbo Jnr and his mate Jim., also over at Marton teas were in overdrive but thanks to Dame Didi, I managed to keep the cricket tea empire going and watch cricket too.
Sir Robert of Solihull came up to visit as he was preparing to start a new job and would not be venturing into these pastures again for some time. Lots of blubbing ( that was just the 'boys' in the office!).
I also managed to 'extricate' myself from 'Would like to be Lord Lainey'.After nearly 30 years of 'friendship'( I use that term loosely as it was on his terms), it has been very refreshing
Bank holiday saw Mr Funky and I at 'Scarbella' getting soaked to the skin and frozen to the bone, but saw Yorkshire which was the main thing. My last Yorkshire match until next season.
Also had the recurring problem of slugs and frogs at LT Towers II! YUKKY!!

September was about closing the doors of  'Platinum Duck' for another season. Dame Didi and I flew out to Château Didi via Amsterdam ( and I nearly stayed there). Yorkshire got promoted, which made my whole cricket season memorable and showed what an amazing job Gillespie the Gallant had done pulling the team together. They did however lose to former besty home county in the south Hampshire in the T20 final but got to go to South Africa.#WAYAW

October  Took the Tykes to South Africa to take part in the world T20's. They didn't win but got further than Hampshire ( ha di flipping ha!!). They played brilliantly and made me proud to be a Tyke. Sadly October also saw the loss of great friend Bruce Ritchie, a true cricket fan and  one of the nicest men you could have ever wanted to meet.

November was the month of the great birthday bash. Dame Didi and I zipped off to Manchester and went on Concorde ( Alpha Charlie) which was the most amazing experience and moved us both to tears ( I love Concorde always have and always will). This was one of the most memorable days that I have had in many years and I can't wait to go again.

December saw me become teetotal, ( OK it only lasted until Xmas but that was a long time!). I also spent the weekend with Countess Culshaw and the gorgeous Sir Samuel, who made me once again see Christmas through child's eyes and made me really feel Christmassy when I got home. Dame Didi and I spent Christmas together, very sadly we lost 'Grandma Jean' which brought the festive period to a full stop.

However 2013 is a whole new start and  I, Lady Lainey , am donning a new tiara, fluffing up my curls and preparing for a new year and new start.

Best wishes for a Happy and Prosperous New Year.

With love from

Lady Lainey

Sunday, 30 December 2012

Mr Funky arriving sooooooonnn!!

Oh my deary me, I have just woken up and  realised that Mr Funky is coming to call for me in an hour to go to the great city of Durham. He will want to go to look at 'outdoors' type shops for when he walks up 'hills' whereas I, Lady Lainey like to look at girly shops with pretty things in, not smelly old hiking socks and meth burning stoves!!!! Do I look like that type of Lady??

Well I am not showered and the orange afro needs washing and I have no idea what to wear..............oh well best get on with the blog.

As you know yesterday was the 150th anniversary of football being played at Bramall Lane, home of the super Blades ( who sadly went down 3-2 to the Monkey Hangers). However I had been fed duff information, having sat through 'Football Focus' (which is not my preferred viewing) with not a whiff of The Blades, I fended off texts from The Dame who had also put her life on hold to watch it. But then at 8pm last night it all became clearer. The whole piece was on 'The League show' on BBC1 at 00.00 last night/ this morning. Well how the 'Donald Duck' was I supposed to stay awake until that time and I couldn't record it either so I very sadly missed it and am a tad p*****d orff. However Happy Birthday to Bramall Lane and lets see 150 more years ( OK I won't and you won't). No building an  'out of town super stadium'.
Dame Didi and I love Sheffield and stay at The Copthorne Hotel when we go , which just happens to be attached to the Bramall Lane football ground!!! ( I don't like the 'Sheffield Eye' though and got jolly scardy when I went on it).

After the great news that Wiggo is to become a 'Sir' it appears that he is amused and bemused by the whole thing. Well all I can say is that Bradley you are a true champion and deserve the Knighthood. You have excelled in your sport and brought home a title to the UK that we never expected to have.

Over in cricket I fear that my love of the game and players is causing waves of retirement. First the old gang McGrath and Gillespie went, then as I nurtured a new crop of Australians they started falling by the way side. Brett Lee announcing his retirement after being injured at Chester Le Street ( and I was there, I wanted to administer first aid as I got a badge in Brownies.........sadly it was for stamp collecting), now  Mike Hussey  is retiring from all forms of International cricket and I saw him play this summer. Of course Ramps retired ( and got an MBE in the New Years Honours). I am seriously worried that his Royal Ryanness may decide to go down this road and I am not relishing that day!

Well this is not getting the 'barnet' washed and Mr Funky will be banging the door down very soon, so just to say that in all the excitement of the birthday celebrations I forgot to mention the Mighty Whites and Birmingham,. Well best to have forgotten as they both lost!!

Happy Sunday and Dame Didi your comments haven't come through so try again please.
STOP PRESS just found the comment, put your name on it you 'donut'

'sob sob'

Saturday, 29 December 2012

Sad sporty Saturday


Good morning from cold and wet Blighty  it is 7.30am (UK TIME) on Saturday 29th December 2012. I, Lady Lainey have jolly well made it out of bed before 8am and not content with that I have got the slow cooker on making Chilli con carne for dinner and also a casserole in the oven that will go into the freezer. Flipping heck, what am I on???? I may need to go back to bed at this rate!

Well what is going on today................................................................

Only the flipping biggest celebrations at Bramall Lane, a massive celebration of 150years of football at the lane. The first match was played on 29th December 1862 between Sheffield FC and Hallam FC. It lasted 3 hours............yes 3 hours ( I would have liked that if I been sat next to Sir Sean of Bean) and finished in 0-0. ( Good job it didn't go to extra time or did it???)

 They have also had cricket matches there and in  1884 Bramall Lane  hosted players from England and Australia. They had a 'proper' cricket pavilion too ( you all know how I hate those glass and chrome monstrosities). There is a great book which gives all the info called ' Sheffield United FC ,  The Biography' by Gary Armstrong and John Garrett ( foreword by Sir Sean of Bean himself!!!).

Today in the UK  at 12.30pm there is more about the 150th celebrations on Football Focus on BBC. ( and if Gary is on don't forget however much you adjust the colour on your TV he stays orange!)

So at 3.00pm The Blades will go out and take on The Monkey Hangers ( Hartlepool to the uninitiated). Sadly without the amazing Shaun Miller who is now out for the rest of the season with cruciate damage, and Neil Collins with a fractured cheekbone which has already been operated on. Super special get well wishes to both of them but have to say I will flipping well miss Shaun scoring more goals this season. Get well soon boys and  COYB!!!!

Sad news in the cricket world is that former England captain Tony Greig has died after having a heart attack, he  had also been diagnosed with lung cancer two months ago. our thoughts are with his family at this very sad time.

Also a blow for England is that Jonny Bairstow will not be returning to India for the ODI series, due to family illness.His place will be taken by Joe Root ( at least it is another Tyke). Our thoughts are with Jonny and his family at this time.

Flipping great news is that Wiggo is to be knighted in the New Years honours list, wooohoooo welcome to the club Sir Bradley Wiggins!! Well deserved too.

Well I am now off to scoff my brekkie and to go for a walk to town, and then settle down for football focus.

100% Blades
PS was that long enough for you Dame Didi?????

Friday, 28 December 2012

Lady Lainey ventures forth

Well, well, well, quelle surprise, it is blowing a gale outside and lashing down with rain  and I really want to batten down the hatches and snuggle up in my blanky and watch rubbish on TV but.........................I have to venture forth into the storm and travel to the far off land of Acklam ( its near Middlesbrough you know!) where I have to chat to the organ grinder whilst the monkey makes my coffee. I am however taking the some biscuits as an offering for the hard work that they have put into sorting out my insurances etc for Tykes Towers.

Then I will travel the long and winding road ( A66) back to the County of Durham and lie around on the sofa drinking French coffee and watching rubbish on the TV whilst attempting to knit a cricket jumper tea cosy.

So yesterday Mr Funky turned up 2 hours early at my house and was very surprised to see me in my PJ's and dressing gown ( not as surprised as I was to see him!) so I rushed around like a flipping mad thing and finally got my tiara on straight and we went to town for coffee and cake. We also went to check out paint for my dining room and I have finally settled on 'Platinum Grey' ( well it couldn't be silver could it??).

The rest of the day was a blur of sleep and texts and tweets and updated Facebook status and by bedtime I was totally exhausted again! The modern world is way too tiring!.

On this day

28th December

1923 Gustave Eiffel died

1934 Dame Maggie Smith born ( mummy of the lovely Toby Stevens)

1954 Denzel Washington born

And yes Dame Didi I know this is short but I have to get a wriggle on and YOU have to get the kettle on!

A bientot

Thursday, 27 December 2012

WOW what a lie in

My holiday reading is going down!!!

Wow I can't flipping well believe how long I am sleeping these holidays I woke up about 10 minutes ago and nearly flipped my tiara ( OK I didn't really have it on as I don't sleep in it) it was 8.47am (UK time), so mad scrambled to get a blog out to you.( good job I am not on webcam that would be a sight to behold)

As you can see from the picture, I had been getting myself a nice little library of holiday reading and it is going down, these are the books that I have left to read before I return to super swanky Lady Lainey office next Thursday. Well I am not actually doing any jobs around the house as I said I would, so thought that it was time to catch up on all the books that I have been trying to read.

Countess Culshaw and Sir Samuel rang yesterday to keep me up to date on Mummy Culshaw ( who is not doing too badly in hospital). Sir Samuel is having tons of fun with his presents and enjoying doing jigsaws and  playing board games. He is luckily not yet a couch potato child and long may that last.

So to the sporty going ons on Boxing Day here in Blighty.

The mighty Whites took a bit of a battering against Nottingham Forest with the score being 4-2 to Notts!

Birmingham beat Barnsley 2-1 Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo was involved and pheww!!! no yellow card ( or red for that matter).

However I am saving the best until last

THE BLADES only went and blinking well walloped Scunthorpe 3-0  keeping them top of the table and 2 points ahead of Tranmere.Sean Miller scoring an early goal set them on the road to another win. I was super excited when I saw the scores come up!

Well time to get showered and afro washed as Mr Funky the chauffeur is coming round and we are walking to town for coffee and cake ( before I waddle to the nearest Weightwatchers class to dismiss my bulk!). It is however raining cats and dogs here and I am beginning to think that it may not be such a good idea to walk! #lazyfatwobbler

Quotes for the day

Glenn McGrath bowled so badly in his first test, as though he had never bowled in a test match before - Geoff Boycott

To stay in you've got to not get out - Geoff Boycott

Have a great day 

Wednesday, 26 December 2012

Big Bad Boxng Day

Well Christmas is over for another year and Next sale started at 6am this morning!! Who in their flipping right mind would want to get up to go to a sale at 6am after stuffing their face with Turkey, sprouts, stuffing,Christmas pudding, Bendicks chocolates and eating enough cheese to give you nightmares for the rest of your life ........................errr is that just me????

 Well I have had a lie in ( it is now 8.29am) and I am about to get dressed to wander round to see Countess Christine of Mc Nally and the Royal hounds. ( yep I am bracing my self for being 'loved to death' and getting 'french kissed' by Benji the Border collie). She was a little bit poorly yesterday and still had to soldier on and make the lunch for the family and then she went back to bed.

Santa came to my house and Dame Didi and I opened our pressies and got very excited by everything. I even got a book of sporting commentary gaffs so you will be all hearing some of those over the next few weeks.
His Royal Ryanness tweeted me  Merry Xmas which made my day very much and in Australia The Duke and Duchess of Adelaide are getting super excited about their forthcoming trip to Blighty. Woohoo, what a pair of nutters.......leaving hot weather to come over here to rain, floods, cold, wind! However I know that they will enjoy it when they get here.

I spent the rest of Christmas day laying on the sofa, snoozing and watching utter rubbish on the telly in the end I couldn't take any more of repeats, Eastenders ( too much shouting all the time), 'Come dine with me' ,and 'One born every minute' do you really want to see someone giving birth as you are removing the giblets from the turkey???? so I put my 'South Park' DVD on not very 'Ladylike' language but funny as anything.

Over in cricket land England are enjoying some R & R and gearing up for the next onslaught.

In footy land

The Mighty Whites are in action today against Nottingham Forest

Birmingham take on Barnsley

The Blades take on Scunthorpe.

This is the very same Blades who are TOP OF THE TABLE!!!!! THEY ARE TOP OF LEAGUE ONE!!!!!



'You've got to make a split second decision so quickly' - Geoff Boycott

'Fortunately it was a slow ball, so it wasn't a fast one' - Geoff Boycott

'England have a very English attack ' - Geoff Boycott

And finally, yesterday we sadly said goodbye to Grandma Jean  who has been very poorly and now has gone on to a much better place. RIP Jean x

Tuesday, 25 December 2012

Merry Christmas

Well its Christmas morning and I have been awake since 5.12am. So now I am putting on my Christmas tiara and getting ready to go and open all the presents that Pere Noel has left for me. I can also put baby Jesus onto the 'creche' as he has been born now.

So yesterday the Dame and I went out and did a spot of last minute shopping in town, we went to have a coffee and the Dame got stroppy because there were no cheese scones cooked! So we  had cake and toasted teacake instead. Then we went and dropped off presents at Duchess Debbie the Wise's and also Lady Norma the Wise. When we got home Mr Funky the Chauffeur came round and we all decided to partake in a Spiced rum and coke.

Very civilised.

We had a great dinner and then sat down to watch TV, well I actually fell asleep and then woke up in time to go to bed...................which will now explain why I have been up since stupid o'clock.

Well off to open my pressies now and then have a super big breakfast.

Merry Christmas

Monday, 24 December 2012

Great times

Can you believe that not only did I not write my blog late yesterday, but I didn't write my blog at all!!!!.

Well it has been a very eventful weekend with sad and happy news.
I got into the Lady Lainey limo on Saturday and set off to go to meet Coutness Culshaw and Sir Samuel were going to be later as they had to go to the hospital to see mummy Culshaw who although still poorly was not quite as poorly as first stated. (big sigh of relief).

We went out to have some dinner at the airport and then came back to the hotel were Sir Samuel was up until 10pm!!!! The Countess and I were awake until after midnight too!!!

Yesterday we got up played hide and seek ( in a hotel room?????) very funny, especially as we were limited with hiding spaces and how do you hide 6ft 3in of Lady Lainey???.

Then off we went to the garden centre has some lunch and went home in different directions, both sad as we had, had such a good time!!!.

Over in India England won the 2nd T20  and look good going to the next one,.KP has not been names in the upcoming ODI and T20 clashes with New Zealand. The selectors say this is to manage the work load of players better.

Football news ( but you will all know this already)
Birmingham drew with Burnley

Leeds beat Middlesbrough

And The Blades won against Crawley !!!

wow what a weekend

So now off to call Tzarina Katerina and wish her Happy Birthday and also to go shopping with Dame Didi!!!

Merry Christmas Eve

Saturday, 22 December 2012

It's raining AGAIN!!!

My mum made me wear this hat!!!!

OMG it is still bally well raining and I for one am not sure if it is ever going to stop!  I am off to meet Sir Samuel and Countess Culshaw ( fingers crossed as Mummy Culshaw was taken to hospital yesterday). I am a ready to go and having spoken to Sir Samuel this morning he is ready to see me.

I have a moat around Tykes Towers again and it is not showing any signs of disappearing any time soon, I hope that when I get back tomorrow it will have gone done. I have no idea what is going on with the crazy weather in this country.....oh please take me somewhere hot.

In Football

Birmingham are at home to Burnley
And The Mighty Whites are at home to Middlesbrough

The Blades are not in action until 26th December when they take on Scunthorpe.

Well after stuffing myself to bursting point at 'Pizza Hut' yesterday, we left work early and I came home to have a nap ( how very jolly civilised). Then I wrapped up the last few pressies, couldn't face eating another mouthful of food. and went off to bed to read my book.

I am now running around like a headless chicken as Mr Funky is going to come round to show an electrician what needs doing at the Towers ( whilst I am with Sir Samuel) and then  Dame Didi is arriving so that we can have a 'Joyeaux noel' tomorrow, and I still haven't changed her bed!!

This is very short today and tomorrows will be posted late as I doubt that I will have time to try to do it, whilst

a. playing board games with a 5 years old
b. recovering from a hangover
c. colouring in 'Sponge Bob square pants'
d. trying to muster the energy to drive home

But I will leave you with a couple more funnies from Les Scott's book, 'Bats, Bails and Balls

Appeal- what happens to skin on hot days when you do no apply sunblock

High Fives  -opportunity for the third man to come in out of the cold and get himself on TV

Long hop - What the fielder at short leg does when the ball hits him with full force on the kneecap

So Happy Xmas weekend and have fun.

Friday, 21 December 2012

End of the week and end of the world apparently!!!

YIPPEEEE its F(ryan)day!!!!

Whoop de flipping tiara twirling dooooo its Friday and it is the last day at work until next year!!! (Or not if the world ends today).Blinking heck I am spinning around in my chair here at Tykes Towers like a mad spinny thing!! I am so super bouncy excited that I fear the 'boys' are in for a long morning, before they drag me kicking and screaming ( yeah right!) to Pizza Hut for all you can eat buffet.  So as it is the end of the world today too I though WTF, forget the diet and go and stuff yourself.
I said that I  wanted to go back to super swanky Lady Lainey office after lunch and play Twister but the boys were are not too keen!.
Job the Jolly said that after stuffing as much pizza down his cakehole as he could at lunchtime, the only thing he was playing was his CD in the car on the way home!!! And as I want to pack my bag to go and see Countess Culshaw and Sir Samuel I am totally with him on that score.

Over in India The T20's started after lunch  ( UK time) yesterday. Not a good result either, After leaving Root and Bairstow out, the boys put out a team of relatively unknown England player ( and OK I am always harping on about bringing in new blood) Bresnan, Morgan and Patel were in as 'old timers' and sadly runs were not too plentiful Newcomer Hales made 56  leaving England to close on 157. However even with the valiant attempts of Bresnan ( 2-44) England were beaten by 5 wickets. Not a great start I fear. Now though they now have to go away and get the team to 'gel' and get ready for the next match. Oh yes and have Christmas too.

Over in F1 Vettel has been saying he wants the title in 2013 ( yeah well I want to marry Sir Sean of Bean and like that is going to happen!). Well  Jenson, Lewis and all the other drivers on the circuit would like to win the title too so you he will have a challange on his hands

Also read that Grosjean the lean mean crashing machine is staying with Lotus.I think that he should just stay out of everyone's way! #safer

Well its the super last day of work and then its HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  and Pere Noel is coming, and I get to lounge around at Tykes Towers reading all the books I have not had time to.

But first I have to get ready for one last journey to the centre of the universe ( well Coniscliffe Road)) and look pretty for a few more hours and then FREEEEDDDOOOOMMMMM.

Hope that you all have a great Friday ( Fryanday).

Thursday, 20 December 2012

Closer to the finishing line

Well its Thursday and I Lady Lainey am jolly glad it is just one more day to go. I am totally exhausted and the Pony Paul lurgy hasn't helped on e little bit. Today I am feeling much better  apart form a headache and runny nose!! Yep I look terrific!

I finally received my invitation to the wedding of the year (2013). However can you Adam and Eve it, not only is it on a cricket day! is on a Durham V Yorkshire cricket day. So as much as I love the Tykes, I love dressing up and partying more and the acceptance letter is in the post.

So in  the merry world of cricket, after last summers 'do with KP, they have only gone and offered him a new contract. I am keeping my mouth firmly shut! For once! Saying nothing! Not a squeak..........yet!!!

Middlesex have signed up the lovely Mark Ramprakash as batting  coach on a two year contract, he has gone back home!! And yes in the above picture I was that close to the man himself, I could have touched him.......................but Mr Funky the Chauffeur told me not too!!!

The T20 matches kick off today starting at 1.30pm (UK time). Lets see how we get on without the great man!.

Was busy wrapping pressies last night and will be dropping them off with Duchess Debbie the Wise this evening. Also have a couple more cards to post through letter boxes and then I think that I am done, or as done as I intend to be.

Football was not good last night for The Mighty Whites who were entertaining Chelsea, and let them score 5 goals to their 1. I think they just felt sorry for them as they have been having a bit of strife lately!

The Blades are taking on Oxford in the FA cup on 5th January and so it really will be a big #coyb.


Well its blowing a gale outside and lashing down with rain which means only one thing. I lady Lainey have to run very fast from car park to super swanky Lady Lainey office to avoid 'orange afro'. Also means trousers are the order of the day, as I don't fancy that wind blowing up my 'kilt'. And lastly it means that I had better get a wriggle on and make my way to said office where my 'boys' will be waiting for me with open arms ( yeah right!!! I will be lucky to get a grunt out of them!).


Wednesday, 19 December 2012

2 more 'getty ups'

Max Chilton
Who is the mystery man?

Well its the middle of the week and only 2 more 'getty ups' until HOLIDAYS!!!!!!! I am super excited, just at the fact that I am getting nearly 2 weeks away from super swanky Lady Lainey office, I cannot wait.

I have to make up the spare bed for Dame Didi as she is arriving on Sunday and now she doesn't have to put up with 'budgie' curtains ( as left by my tenant) as I have put up super smart raw silk curtains, which make the room very cosy, and talking about cosy, I am about to set off knitting a 'cricket jumper' tea cosy for cousin Rt Hon Robbo Jnr now that he has super new job at the cricket club. However I am wondering if now that he is 'El Presidenti' will he still do the washing up???? Will probably post a picture of  the cosy when it is finished #ifitlooksok!

I have been loving all the hilarious tweets that Gillespie the Gallant has been getting recently ( not from me I hasten to add). Even he thinks some of them are worrying. However his Tweets in response are enough to make me laugh out loud.

Have been reading that we will have a new Brit on the F1 circuit next year, Max Chilton  ( see above pic)has signed for Marussia  next season and he looks as old as Joe Root #10yearsold. Good luck to Max and hope to see him on the podium.( not ahead of Baron button though).

on this day
19th December

1974 'The Man with the Golden Gun' premieres in USA

1974 Ricky Ponting  Australian cricketer born

1987 Karim Benzema  French footballer born

1980 Anguilla becomes a British Dependency separate from St Kitts ( home of former Hants cricketer Cardigan Connor, now ' the islands most popular personal trainer' flipping heck!!!!)

Its jolly flipping short today as I have lots to do before I go off to Lady Lainey office and harass  cheer up the boys!.

Tuesday, 18 December 2012

one week to Pere Noel!

Last minute wrapping from PH and VB

Well it Tuesday only 3 more 'getty up's' until I finish for the Christmas break at super swanky Lady Lainey office, and I am so flipping happy about getting some time off for R & R. However I am meeting Countess Culshaw and Sir Samuel on Saturday and we are going to have 'super fun' in Harrogate and then collapse back at the hotel and wait for Santa to ring ( that will be Pony Paul) and let Sir Samuel know that he can open some of his pressies early ( the ones that I Lady Lainey have taken for him). So its all stations go until the big day.

Miss Babs,  former work colleague of I,Lady Lainey called over last night ( on her way from Tesco.............TESCO!!!!! what ever happened to Harrods or Harvey Nicks???) Anyhoo, she popped in for a coffee and a chat and it is decided that in the New Year she will call for dinner one evening. How very blinking civilised ( not like the old days having burger and a pint in the White Horse!!)

Over in India, England declared on 352-4. Joe Root got another knock about and scored 20  bringing his test total to 93. And yes Bell ( The ginger whinger) scored 116 so well done to him. England finally won a series in India, however, the team is a shambles they have been carrying injured players and boosting the misfits. So lets see what happened in the T20's. However I will say bloody well done to the whole team and great to see  Tykes in the winning side! It makes all the difference.
I am hoping that we see a much improved and fit squad out on the field for the T20's.
Also splendid news that Glamorgan have  signed the super fit Simon Jones for 4 day matches, looking forward to that! He had curtailed his appearances with the county due to knee problems but so pleased to see that he is going to play more.

My 'Pony Paul' lurgy is not getting any better and I nearly fell asleep at my desk yesterday afternoon, and as we were all ( I say all, it was Pony Paul and I as Job the Jolly have gone to Wembley ) suffering it was a 'symphony' of coughs, nose blowing and sneezing!!! Lovely.


Well it is blinking well pitch dark this morning but it is not foggy, frosty, snowy or wet. So hopefully this will make the commute to super swanky Lady Lainey office bearable. I am hoping that the weather remains this way until after the weekend PLEASE!!!!.
No thermals today but still wearing trousers as too cold to contemplate a skirt!!!

On this day 
18th December 

1976 Wonder Woman debuts on US TV. ( and didn't we all want to be Linda Carter?)

1996 Start of the first Test between Zimbabwe and England

2012 only one week until Xmas!!!!!!!!!

Monday, 17 December 2012

Bradley does it again

David Beckham, Bradley Wiggins (centre), Duchess of Cambridge

Well what a great night last night, Bradley Wiggins was named Sports Personality of the year, and we got to see the Duchess of Cambridge ( who is looking very well). Bradley is a truly worthy recipient of the title as he has slogged away at his sport for many years and then this year he pulled the blinder, Le Tour de France and Olympic gold.He showed that he is also a down to earth bloke who likes a laugh and I Lady Lainey salute him!.

Over in India, I am assuming that Bell has been reading 'Tales from the Boundary' as he is currently on 61!! Flipping heck!!! However KP was still resting on his laurels and scored 6.......yes that was 6. Trott is still in there batting away and he is on 106. England are now on 240 (6.37am UK time).

So you may be wondering what has been going on at Tykes Towers..................well nothing really, I finished the blog yesterday and went back to bed as I felt a bit 'ruff'. I got up and hung out the washing but that was the only trip over the door step. Dame Didi and the Monster children nephews came to call after they had been to lunch at Tzarina Katerina's. Count Christophe was showing me his designs for the house that he is 'building'. Then I settled down on the sofa, tucked up with best cuddle friend Pink Hippo and my 'blanky' and had a little nap!

Stayed up 'late' too last night 10.30pm!!!!! yes 10.30pm!!!! and this morning I feel super tired and not in the mood for going to super swanky Lady Lainey office, however only got to go in 4 more times until we have a break for Christmas.

And finally super news from Shildon CC, cousin Rt Hon Robbo Jnr has been elected President of the club after many years faithful service as player and also as Chairman.  What great news and I know that Rt Hon Robbo Snr would be very proud.

and so I am toddling off into the fog ( which is going to clear), and soak up the positively tropical temperatures of 4-5c today. Whoop de flipping doooo I might even put a skirt on for work. OK its Monday there has been no heating on all over the weekend so trousers and thermals still the order of the day.

A bientot
Bis bald

Sunday, 16 December 2012

Super sick Sunday

Oh deary me, I now feel very poorly indeed. Headache  nose running like a tap, sore throat and I look like I haven't slept for a week. Thank you Pony Paul for giving me your hideous germs and making me feel very unLady lainey  like.

So what did I do yesterday, well I did walk to town and I wrapped presents and I picked up Tzarina Katerina, had a text talk with cousin Rt Hon Robbo Jnr and then  I went to bed, read for 1 minute and woke up 3 hours later with my book stuck to my face ( the result of 'overheating' in bed!!). So now I am hoping to do something constructive today, and get some sleep too.

However lets see what is happening in India, who declared on 326-9 only 4 runs behind England and currently Cook and Compton are in batting and standing on 15-0. I have been reading the feeds on TMS site and someone posted his team for the Ashes and included Bell and Finn!!!! Well Bell's  form is rubbish and Finn is now looking as if he is fit only for the bowlers knackers yard. I am having a real think regarding my XI and will post it probably over Christmas ( when I have more time and feel better).

Over in the land of Football

Sheffield United were playing Tranmere and that ended in 0-0

Leeds beat Ipswich 2-0

And Birmingham drew with Crystal Palace 2-2. Cousin Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo played the whole match with out a yellow card in sight.


Its cold and very dark this morning, however it is not raining, snowing, frosting or any of the other hideous things that it has been doing this week!! It is however windy and I hope that I can get some washing out later and make a dent in the laundry basket!!
No thermals today as I only plan to venture so far into the extensive grounds of Tykes Towers and not a step further.

Saturday, 15 December 2012

Normalish weather resumes

Well Tykes Towers is looking better this morning due to no excessive frost or snow and no rain( at the moment). I, Lady lainey drove home last night in a torrential downpour and ended up having words with a very silly man who

1. Didn't know how to drive
2. Didn't  know the road layout
3. Gave Lady Lainey 'a look'

So I had a little chat with him and put him straight and then got back into the Lady Lainey limo soaking wet!!!!

The sky here is clear and I am hoping that it stays that way, as I have to go down the A1 to pick up Tzarina Katerina when she gets back from her cruise. She actually is back and in Southampton at the moment, but mug-gins here has to go and pick her up and deliver her to her 'village'. ( make sure I get out of there before it is really dark!!!)

OK and now on to news from India

England made 330 in their first innings with the main run scorers being JOE ROOT (73) and KP ( 73). For  Joe that was an amazing début knock and well done to you. I watched him being interviewed and loved the 'no nonsense' tone. Long may it be like that and none of the arrogant, self promoting types that we have seen of late.

India are currently (8.14 am UK time...............yes I have had a lie in as I feel really unwell thanks to Pony Paul and his germs) 208-4. Bresnan is not bowling well!!

There is still big excitement here in Tykes Towers and also at Chateau Saltburn regarding Yorkshire opening Le Tour de France. Dame Didi has already booked the 5th July 2014 off work  and last night said she is ready to wave her Vendee flag. Flipping heck Dame Didi you sure is super keen.

Well I am walking down to town to have a look around ( 5 mins top!) and then coming back to do some work.

Have a great day

Friday, 14 December 2012

A post script to Friday TDF!!!!!!

Back le Bid to bring the Tour de France to Yorkshire
Flipping heck!!!!!!!

OM flipping G Yorkshire have only gone and got the 'Grand depart' for Le Tour de France. July 5th 2014  Leeds

Just about to text Dame Didi now so that she can start polishing the bell on her tricycle in preparation for the big event.

Mr Funky the Chauffeur and I had signed up at Scarborough backing Yorkshire in their bid and I am sure that having the name of Lady Lainey on the list didn't do them any harm.

So super well done to Yorkshire its a great day today!!!!!



Its that time of the week again!!!!

Yeah!! Its F(ryan)day  again

It's Friday so I am trying to put a very positive spin on everything. Firstly at the Test, Joe Root did all the Tykes fans proud on his debut ( did better than Bell). Closing at the end of yesterday on 31not out. even his dad took to Twitter and posted a fab picture of Joe when he was a little boy ( last year?). It nigh on brought a tear to the eye of Lady Lainey.

And today we are looking at Joe still in there for 65 (6.30am UK time). Excellent that he made his first test 50 on his debut too. Also good to see that he has scored more in one innings than Bell has in 3 tests, now that speaks volumes!!!!!!Sadly Tim the Tyke was in and out before I was fully awake!!!

What have I got planned for the weekend? Well firstly I am going to clean out the kitchen cupboards, possibly tile the shelf in the 'pantry' and also I have to pick up Tzarina Katerina who returns from her cruise tomorrow. ( Hope that ship hasn't gone done with the winter vomiting bug). On Sunday I am going to paint the dining room and also make some chilli and a lasagne to put in the freezer. Now lets see on Monday how much I have actually done!

Super besty eldest monster child nephew Count Christophe has been out and about in the past couple of weeks looking at universities to see which have the best pubs for when his wonderful beautiful super besty auntie in the whole world, ( that would be me!!) goes to stay with him. So far he has been in London ( good there is Harvey Nicks) and Leeds ( good there is Harvey Nicks), so 2/2 for me so far.Not so sure what the Count thinks!

Finally today a few more gems from Les Scott,

'One of  the games modern characters' - wears an earring

Seam bowler - seemed to think he can bowl

Loyal county player - never been approached by another county club

However I still have to venture out into the misty icy wastes of the North and everywhere is white, it looks as if it has snowed when in actual fact it is thick frost! ACTUALLY the man 'on't wireless' has just said it is snow, so super careful drive to work today.And I do so  in freezing temperatures with a headache, sore throat and runny nose courtesy of Pony Paul who has been sharing his germs with Job the Jolly and I all week!!!

Thursday, 13 December 2012

Test Thursday

See end of blog!!

I Lady Lainey had made the decision last night that I wasn't going to be woken up by TMS this morning as I really am tired so I wanted to just wake up myself without the help of Geoff Boycott ( not the best thing to wake up to..................well him and former Lord Lainey!). So at 5.30am this morning I heard the alarming news that Cook had gone for 1. However the serious upside is TIM BRESNAN is in and JOE ROOT has made his England début. So jolly well done to Joe.( shame Jonny didn't make the team too) Tykes be proud. We are currently 61-2 (6.35am UK time). Bell is still in the squad and I am not the only one alarmed by this.

Sam Earnshaw on Twitter: "Imagine my horror when I wake up and find Patel dropped instead of Bell! Bell to make 8 runs before lbw to Jadeja."

UPDATE 8.45am End of Bell !!!

Oh well its only the first day!!

Super besty ex cricketer friend RMFC gave me a tinkle last night. He has been very busy moving house and is jolly flipping busy with work. However today he is off out and about with none other than former England Captain Andrew Strauss. Wonder what that is all about???? Putting together a rogue England team..................???? Can you call up Ronnie Irani???

Holy flipping mackerel. I drove home in freezing fog last night that was turning everywhere white as you watched, really strange to see. Today we are not fairing any better with temperatures not rising above -1 according to the man 'on't wireless'. So apart from the usual thermals, I have an extra jumper today as it really is not going to warm up at all. There will be some sunshine but it will make no blinking impression on the ice and frost.

So my advice is just stay in bed!!! at least it is warm.

I thought that  would add a couple more 'funnies from  the fabby book 'Bats, Balls & Bails' by Les Scott which is still making me laugh.

Twelfth man - Drinks waiter ( see above, his Royal Ryanness, drinks waiter, how very dare they!!!!)

Stumped - The state of mind of a Minor County bowler when up against a seasoned first class batsman.

Sweep - the funny one in The Sooty Show

and finally

Single - what a married cricketer thinks he is when he is on tour!

Have a safe and warm day where ever you are. 

Wednesday, 12 December 2012

Lady Lainey skates on

I have just looked out of the window and I know that I am going to look like Jayne Torvill trying to get the car out of the garage, everywhere is white and sparkly and although it looks pretty it is going to be pretty hard to walk on. As I found out last night, falling on my rear end on the drive. So caution is the word of the morning.

Well I think that I jinxed Arsenal who lost to Bradford and  were knocked out of the Capitol One cup. Hurry up Thierry your team need you!!
Also better news for Job the Jolly as Sunderland move out of the relegation zone. Now that will be a very Jolly Jobbers

Over in India Broad has been sent for a scan on his heel, is this not a couple of weeks overdue???!!!! Send him home and bring in the Tykes! He is due to captain the team for the T20 and in my eyes he should never have been included in the team as his form was already 'off'. Expensive mistake and a fit player missed out on an England place. #justsaying

The 4th test starts tomorrow and as of yet no team has been announced, but if Bell is in.......................well I will be jolly flipping cross and my have a tiara throwing tantrum.

Mr Funky the Chauffeur went off to Chester Le Street yesterday and signed us up as Durham members for another 5 years..........yes 5 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now as avid readers will now I am actually a Tyke and was about to abandon Durham after being onside since they became a 1st class county ( debatable!). I do not think that keeping the same coach for 20 years and most of the ex players/back room staff is best for the team. Also some of the players need to be given the boot, but now as I am paid up for 5 more years I do not feel so bad about airing my views. Stay tuned.

I have been reading a fab and funny book by Les Scott ( from Sunderland) called 'Bats, Balls and Bails' and OMG I was laughing out loud. ( odd when you live alone!).
A couple of quotes from the book to finish today.
Les Scott's explanation of cricket terms.

AVERAGE - quality of most County players

ALL ROUNDER-  someone of similar girth as Mike Gatting or if you support Durham, Ian Blackwell ( my addition)

OVER RATE - what the British press will do to any young British player who performs well on International début.

More soon.

have a great day.

Tuesday, 11 December 2012

It's Thierry Tuesday

Now as you all know I Lady Lainey am a super mad cricket fan, and love cricket more than chocolate and wine ( especially after Friday!!), however I do have a soft spot for super fabby footballers ( including cousin Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo) and as I heard the news that the wonderful va va voomy Thierry Henry is set to return to The Arsenal for a few weeks I can see that I will be keeping a close eye on the teams success. Lets see some great football and hopefully Arsene smiling!. I am wondering when we will see the return of super smiley Lee Sharpe????

T-2 days to the 4th test and I have everything crossed that Bairstow and Bresnan get a look in this time. I know that once we go into T20's they will be given the nod along with Joe Root, but thats not good enough for me!!. Tykes United, bring out the Yorkshire guns.

Loving the fact that Dame Didi has been looking at getaways to Iceland ( yes I know I hate cold but I want to see the Northern Lights). Fingers crossed that we can go as it will be a great experience. I also would like to go to the Blue Lagoon and to Jokulsarlon where they filmed scenes from James Bond's Die another Day with Pierce Brosnan and the 'lovely' Toby Stephens. I wonder how best to wear my tiara with a woollie bobble hat???

Also she has given me her requested menu for Christmas lunch, so better get my flipping act together and start the shopping.At least I only have that and the presents to wrap.

Also it is now just over a week until I meet up with Countess Culshaw and the 'gorgeous' Sir Samuel in Leeds for the weekend. This hopefully will start off the festive festivities well and truly, I know that the Countess will be shocked ( nay dismayed) that I am on the wagon, but after the weekend, I think that my liver needs a real detox!


Well we were bracing ourselves for the worst weather, which was supposed to be hitting us yesterday afternoon, 'the Beast from the East' was due to 'pounce' on us  but as if yet we are wondering if it has changed its mind.

However this morning it is freezing cold and icy in areas, so the drive to super swanky Lady Lainey office is going to be a joy! We are expecting snow showers this afternoon, so I am wrapping up warm and have the usual provisions in the car.

On this day

11th December

1967 Richard Stemp Tyke cricketer born

1970 Test cricket debut of Greg Chappell

1979 Geoff Boycott scores a century in a limited over international

and so ending with crickety bits, I leave for work!!!

Monday, 10 December 2012

Work time!

RIP Sir Patrick Moore

After the worst weekend I have had in recent history it is now Monday and I am getting myself ready to go back to super swanky Lady Lainey office. Yesterday I did very little apart from putting some things on eBay and sleeping a lot. I now know I am officially old when the hangover lasts 2 days! So now onward as a teetotaller.

Very sad news to hear of the passing of Sir Patrick Moore, a wonderfully eccentric gentleman who knew more about the stars and the all things skyward than many of us could ever hope to know. A truly amazing man who's passion for astronomy was second to none. Not bad for a boy from Pinner.

Over in India, it looks as if they are going out all guns blazing for the 4th test, India are making sweeping changes to their team  ready for Thursday, whilst I bet that England rest on their laurels and we all know what happens then!! I think for England Bell out, Bairstow in, and that is just one change! However these are just my thoughts!

So its the start of a new week and now only 15 days until Christmas. I still have lots to do including wrapping  presents so I think that will have to go on the list of things to do this week. I also have to get to delivering xmas cards and sorting out exactly what the Dame and I will be eating for Christmas lunch ( Beans on toast??).

On this day 
10th December

1936 Edward VIII abdicates

1992 Dan Maskell 'The voice of Wimbledon 'died

1995 Ricky Ponting make 96 on his test debut

And so still feeling under the weather I am off to super swanky Lady Lainey office, for once not to shout at the 'boys' but to hope that the day goes by quickly enough so that I can come home to bed very soon.

Sunday, 9 December 2012


Won't be needing one of these EVER again!

Well its Sunday and it is nearly 9.00am and I have only just managed to get out of bed, I still feel rough as a badgers a**e and having been kept awake most of the night by a flipping gale whipping round Tykes Towers I am allowing myself another day to recover.


Lady Lainey is now teetotal!

And so to see what was happening in the world yesterday whilst I slept and tried to recover from the excesses of Friday.

Over in India England wrapped up a seven wicket victory and now are 2-1 in this Test series. However with England chasing 41 you would know that it would not be plain sailing and Cook, Trott and Figjam all went leaving England 8-3!!! However the win is good for the morale of the team especially as it appears we are edging closer to a win in India the first for 27 years.

4th Test starts Thursday at 4am.

For some reason the BBC sports pages have given space to Steve Harmison who is moaning about having to fight for his place on the Durham team. Well lets see if he starts the season first, and then how many matches he is fit for, after all he has all his benefit functions to attend!!!! #notimpressedbyahasbeen

And so to Football

Torres appears to have got his mojo back and scored 2 goals for Chelsea yesterday. Well done Nando.

Sadly The Mighty Whites went down 3-1 to Derby so not a happy journey back to Elland Road.

However the Blades won 3-1 against Carlisle and are really doing super fab this season. #coyb

Sadly Birmingham went the same way as Leeds and lost to Wolves. Well its only a game isn't it????

Over in F1 Bernie Ecclestone has said that Michael Schumacher's comeback was a mistake...........yes or no????

Saturday, 8 December 2012


OK I am keeping this very short as I have to go back to bed and stay there!!!!!!!!!!!

We had a wonderful lunch and then it all went down hill,  luckily  I didn't lose my tiara, and got home in one piece, but have no flipping idea what time it was, I woke up at 3am and then decided that TMS could go to blazes as my head was banging like a drum and I couldn't cope with Geoff Boycott at that time in the morning.

So just to say that in India, England finished on 523 and India are now 129 for 6 at lunch.

 Also that my comments on excluding Bell from the team should have been noted!

And now I am going back to bed!

Friday, 7 December 2012

Its Tiara Flipping Friday

It F(ryan)day again!!!

Woohooo its flipping fabby Friday and I Lady Lainey am super bouncier today as 'big boss' of Lady lainey company, Sir Simon of Staines is coming to take us all out for lunch ( I love food me!!). We are going to the fave haunt of all of us, The Oven in Duke Street, and I am salivating already!!

Also finally it looks as if everything  with  Tykes Towers is sorted so a double celebration whoop di doooooo!!!

Now just got to tick the other 25,00000 things off my 'worry' list!!!!

However lets take a step back to yesterday and what happened in India between  6.30am  (Thursday 6th December) UK time and now, 6.30am UK Time ( Friday 7th December). Cook is now on  167 having made 150 for the 7th time in a test and a record breaking 23 test centuries.. He was dropped ( again) on 152 and is still going. Trott is on 66 and Compton was out for 57. So England are currently standing on 296. Trott is on his  13th test 50, the first of this series.. So they are now at lunch and lets see what the day holds.

Other sporty news

The Tykes footy teams are in action tomorrow

The Blades are away to Carlisle
And The Mighty Whites are away to  Derby

Meanwhile in Brum

Birmingham City are away to Wolves which isn't that far to travel really!

On this day
7th December

1961 Madame Tussaud born in Strasbourg

1997 Billy Bremner died

1984 Alan Borders 1st Test cricket match as captain of Australia

2006 A tornado struck Kensal Green in London  damaging 150 properties

The weather is wet and horrible today ( it would be as I have washed my hair and am putting on a pretty frock on to go out for lunch!) and so now I am waiting for Job the Jolly to come and get me in the Jolly Jobbers jalopy and whisk me off to super swanky Lady Lainey office. Depending on how the wine flows at lunchtime I may be late posting my blog tomorrow!!!

Thursday, 6 December 2012

Lady Lainey's world domination continues

I am totally flipping astounded by the fact that since starting this blog in July I have been read in so many countries,including,UK,USA ,Russia,Australia,France,Germany,China,India,Sweden,Finalnd,Poland,Argentina, Brazil, Sri Lanka, Phillippines, Vietnam, South Africa, Qatar and Saltburn by the Sea ( centre of the universe!)

Flipping heck, I am amazed by the amount of interest in the life of Lady Lainey ( which has been a bit tame over the last couple of months) so I think that now that Xmas is here, I will be letting my hair down ( oh ha de flipping haa, like I can after Sweeny Todd the demon barber of Coniscliffe Road hacked off my curls) and 'Moving like Jagger' a bit more.

Had an interesting message from 'Banrupt millionaire' who flitted into the life of Lady Lainey before I started blogging. He is back working and trying to rebuild his depleted finances so jolly well done to you and I hope that it all works out for you, you deserve a break after a particularly bad 2012.

I called in to see 'Tim'll Fix it last night too and got 'loved to death' by the Royal hounds Leo, Bella and Benji ( Sheba was at home having a break from the others!). Actually I got a fat lip from Leo who got so excited when he saw me that he head butted me!! Wouldn't be so bad but he is the same height as me when on his hind legs #flippingbigdoberman.  Kept my mouth shut around Benji who is renowned now for his 'french kissing'!!!!

Dame Didi came over to stay so that she can deal with the 'gas chap' who is coming today to have a look at the boiler and to check that everything is safe to keep I, Lady Lainey snug and warm for the remainder of the winter. We had a 'girlie' night in watching a weepy DVD ...........................The Final flight of Condcorde, well we liked it!!!

Over in India , England bowled India out for 316, Finn took a wicket with Panesar and Anderson sharing the rest.No centuries from India but good consistent batting. England are currently  (6.26am UK time)  27-0. Cook was dropped on 17, lets see what difference that makes!.

Footy news

Over at Stanford Bridge I fear that Rafa may not even get a pressie from 'Father Abramovich' at this rate, although Chelsea won 6-1 against Nordsjaelland, they have become the first cup holders to fail to advance the groups stages of the Champions League. I fear that Mr Benitez house is built on sand and could topple at any moment.#robertowastheman


And so snow hit us again last night and caused the Dame to have a harrowing journey across the A66, I was on the A167 and didn't fair much better. Today begins cold and icy and will be followed by rain.with temperatures bearly scraping 1c. Oh well another day at super swanky Lady Lainey office looking like the Michelin man ( and that's after I have taken all my layers off!!!)

Wednesday, 5 December 2012

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Daddy

Happy birthday today to His Royal Gorgeousness, I am sure Dad that you are partying today.
Dame Didi and I will party  for you tonight too. Happy Birthday.

Super boring family footy fact, Rt Hon Hoollign Robbo has now made 600 appearences in his career. well done Hooligan, who would have thought it!.

Well over in India it has been no surprise to see that all Tykes have been left out of the squad and that 'part timer' Bell is back in along with Finn. Broad has been omitted but I feel that playing Bell is a mistake and stand by that. Bairstow should have been in there
India are in batting and the score is currently (6.30am UK time) 96-2 with Panesar taking a wicket and Sehwag was run out.
Its early days and obviously I have my own thoughts but will keep them to myself until the 2 show ponies have entered and exited the arena!

Ireland are looking ahead to there England clash next September at a ODI in Malahide, I have seen Ireland play a few times and with coach Phil Simmons they are going to be a force to be reckoned with.

The Duchess of Cambridge is to remain in hospital for a couple of days and good for her. Have a bit of a rest and leave the housework to the Duke! Get well soon, everyone is wishing you well. I am laying bets that the baby will not be named any of the following




Mason Dash





Liz Jones!!!!!!


Well after snow on Monday and then warmer temperatures yesterday, today it is back to Arctic conditions here in the icy wastes of the North. Today it is freezing and all roads are in a terrible state and that applies to the motorways too. So without further ado I am going to really 'get my skates on' as I think that it is going to be a long slow drive to super swanky Lady Lainey office this morning. It is also a thermal and extra woolly day as well as hat, coat ,scarf ,gloves, duvet and hot water bottle strapped to you for extra warmth!!!

Safe driving where ever you are.

Tuesday, 4 December 2012

Wonderful news ( for a change)

Wonderful news

What wonderful news yesterday that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are to be parents, I Lady Lainey am jolly chuffed for them because I love babies. However, big get well wishes to the Duchess of Cambridge who was rushed into hospital ( hence the news getting out) and I hope that she is on the mend soon ( and not suffering for the remainder of the 9 months). This is really great news, babies always make me smile. More so as they are a lovely couple.

Well as most avid readers ( Dame Didi ) will know I do not like cold weather, when the stork drop me off he certainly had lost his  blinking compass as I was meant to be somewhere super swanky like Bermuda or Aruba, not the flipping icy wastes of the North of Blighty!. I know I like to wear hats ( and tiaras) but I seriously hate having to get all wrapped up like an Egyptian mummy just to bring the milk in from the doorstep!.

So yesterday it was a long and tortuous journey to work due to main roads and motorways being blocked or closed. Made it with minutes to spare after a 50 minute drive. Today it is probably going to be worse as  the temperature dropped last night and I am now looking out onto sheet ice!!!

So over in India Ian Bell is back and making his mouth go about being ready to put England back on track, HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!! they won the 2nd test without him so just let him sit on the balcony and let the others have a knock about. My gripe is the fact that some players have super sized ego's. #needtakingdownapegortwo.

So I am still waiting with bated breath for the announcement of the team, although I could just about tell you who will be playing!!! Finn is apparently ready to play. However former England player Alec Stewart has obviously been reading 'Tales from the boundary' as he has stated that England cannot carry Broad and he is clearly struggling. Well Alec, I said that last week so keep up sweetie. #applyingtoBBCsportsdepartment.

On this day

4th December

1976 Liz Taylor got married for the 7th time ( she liked wedding cake more than Sean!!)

1995 Mike Atherton (185*)  bats for 643 minutes to save Jo'burg test ( now that's cricket!)

So off I  trot to super swanky Lady Lainey office to shout at the boys, drink gallons of coffee and keep warm!!!!!.

Monday, 3 December 2012

Winter wonderland

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its all white outside!!! I knew that it was cold during the night as I had snuggled right down with my hot water bottle ( super essential bed fellow in the icy wastes of the north), however as I wandered bleary eyed into the (newly painted) kitchen this morning I couldn't believe that there were about 2 in of snow in the extensive grounds of Tykes Towers and I can't even see the Deer Park. When I switched 'on't  wireless' its a complete winter wonderland out there, and although it looks pretty, it is going to be a nightmare to get to work!.

So I  am going to have to make this jolly brief as I am going to have to get ready in super fast time, and spend the next goodness knows how long getting to work .

Cricket news.

Interesting article about KP on the BBC news magazine site, and as you know I am not one to promote him in any way. However it does talk about his consistency and how batting averages do not really give a true representation of form.

Still waiting to hear if Joe Root makes his test debut.

Anyone in the Leeds area today can have a wander down to the cricket shop at THE cricket ground, as they are having a little Christmas sale and also having an appearance by someone famous!. Now I would go for Gillespie the Gallant or his Royal Ryanness, however I think that it may be Father Christmas. So have a look down if you can, sadly work and snow mean that I am going to be holed up with Pony Paul and Dan Dan all day, as Job the Jolly is not bothering to even try to come in!! ( only joking he is taking a days holiday).

on this day

3rd December

1931 Alka Seltzer goes on sale ( just in time for Christmas!!)

1948 Don Bradman scores his last century (123) in his own testimonial

1981 David Villa  Spanish footballer was born

So short as this is, I am about to don my Hunters and try to get the Lady Lainey limo out of the garage and make my way to work. Not a great prospect I can tell you!!!.

Hope the sun is shining where ever you are.

Sunday, 2 December 2012

Sub zero here ( well it feels like it!)

Happy chappy

I crawled out from under my duvet this morning and peeped out of the window, oh yes frosty and white outside and believe me it felt frosty indoors, so I put the central heating on and snuggled down for 40 more winks......hence this blog being posted late ( yes it 8.24am UK time) what a lazy daisy I am, actually  the cold combined with not feeling 100% all go to making me want to go back to bed.

Well lets get to yesterday, I did go to town and then came home and decided to paint one wall in the kitchen to see what the colour was like ( well anything other than acid yellow is an improvement). Well by the time I had blinked I had painted the whole bally kitchen and the electrician was on the phone to come and quote me for a couple of jobs ( my previous experience with an electrician was documented a couple of weeks ago 'Thought for the day') However this electrician was recommended by M'Lady Margaret and Baron Bill. So he popped in saw what needed doing and will get back to me.
I then went to price up beds for Dame Didi at local bed shop and she will have a look on Thursday.

AND then it was time for the big switch on , this took place at 6.00pm and was followed by I Lady Lainey lying on the sofa, eating olives, humous and french bread dunked in harissa and olive oil, drinking a glass of wine and watching 'Moonstruck' ( super fave film with Cher and Nicolas Cage). I then  tried to ring the Dame and then fell asleep. Dame Didi phoned me after 9pm and woke me up so I toddled off up to bed. #exhausted.

Just a quick well done to all the 'boys' who grew moustaches for Movember. His Royal Ryanness took to Twitter with a super pic of his 'tache'.

Footy news from yesterday The Mighty Whites beat Huddersfield 4-2 . It was an action packed local derby with a brace from Luciano Becchio pushing the boys to victory. Well done to you all!!

In the FA cup clash The Blade came through beating Port Vale 2-1 and once again it was the amazing Shaun Miller who came through with a brace in injury time to send the Blades through to the next round. Whoop de flipping tiara twirling dooo. I think me and Sir Sean of Bean and half of Sheffield are jolly happy with that result.

Good reporting from the BBC in India saying the super Tyke Joe Root is hoping to be selected for upcoming test. Well Joe, I Lady Lainey am behind that!, lets get all three Tyke boys in and show them real cricket.

Also F1 news is that video footage has finally put to bed any idea that Vettel overtaking was an illegal move.

So I have just received a text form Mr Funky the Chauffeur to say that he is picking me up at 10.30am to go to Darlo. I just want to stay in bed!!

Saturday, 1 December 2012

Switch on Saturday

Tykes Towers will not be this grand!

Well today is the day of the super big light switch on at Tykes Towers, as I had not heard from any of the 5 people shortlisted to switch on the lumiere de sapin de Noel, I am doing it myself and thought that I would make a nice Medierrean themed dinner to scoff afterwards ( then I can dream of being somewhere flipping warmer that here, it fair freezing my very short curls to my 'skinhead').

This morning here in the north of blighty  it is freezing cold and wet, no sign of snow yet, but its early! I am off  to town to post a letter to the Organ grinder because the monkey said I needed to! And also a couple of parcels from the treasures of Lady Lainey that sold on eBay. After that I am going to have a nap before the big lighting up ceremony.

Sporty news, In cricket South Africa are fighting back in Australia thanks to the heroics of Faf Du Plessis.

 Boxing,Andrew Flintoff got knocked down in the 2nd round of his fight, got up and won on points. I wonder how many Australian cricketers would have liked to deliver that punch?

Footy news

Birmingham took on Boro last night and beat them 3-2, however Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo got a yellow card. Naughty naughty!!!

Leeds are away to Huddersfield so not too far to travel
The Blades are in FA cup action  at Bramell Lane to Port Vale. #coyb.

I also had better do some housework at some point, as Dame Didi is coming over to stay on Wednesday so that she can let in the Gas Chap.He is coming to service the central heating and make sure that it is working properly and that it will keep I Lady Lainey super snug and warm all winter.

And finally