Tuesday, 30 April 2013

Only Tuesday???

So this is pretty much what I resemble this morning ( minus the beard!), I slept OK but could do with another eight hours. When I woke up this morning I had convinced myself that it was Saturday and then I realised that if it was I would be over at Château Saltburn as I had arranged with Dame Didi last night to go to her village at the weekend.

Well I suppose that 'Jo Bling and the crew of one ( Dan Dan cowboy draughtsman won't be in ) won't notice if I have a little nap in my office.  Jo Bling will be mulling over Sunderland getting completely 'stuffed' by Aston Villa last night and Pony Paul will just be getting on with his work.

So lets have a little look around the cricket.

Yorkshire were home to Derbyshire who went into bat. Chesney Hughes hit a magnificent 171 which considering what people had been saying on Twitter about him opening the batting, made a lot of people eat their words. OK this was 171 runs against my boys but it was a great knock and should be applauded. Derbys closed at 302-4.
Today the boys have to go in for the 'kill' and I Lady Lainey will be a happy bunny.

Which will be exactly what Joe Root would have been yesterday as he was named as England Lions Captain  Well deserved Joe.

Former besty home team of Durham were  in action at Trent Bridge, Nottinghamshire went into bat. They were all out for 320. Durham were  34-1 overnight.

Want to  settle down to some excellent cricket reading? ( apart from here in 'Tales from the Boundary) then check out http://www.alloutcricket.com/.
You will get all the info on ALL the teams as I am sometimes a little biased here in my blog ( MOI!!! BIASED!!!!! NON!!!!).
And they retweeted my super  cricket picture of Lumley castle in the background and Ryan in the foreground!!
Now that was a good way to start the week.


Flipping heck it is a beautiful morning here in Ladylaineyville and the sun is shining. I have washing on the line and it appears to be a perfect cricket day.

Shame that I have to go to super swanky Lady Lainey office, shout at boys, drink gallons of coffee, have a nap and look pretty.......its a hard life!!!!

Monday, 29 April 2013

Not Monday again!!!!

Oh no, I cannot 'Adam and Eve'it. Its Monday again and even though I had half of last week off work I am sooooo tired this morning that I could do with another half week off.

So lets get straight down to the cricket news.

Yorkshire are in action against Derbyshire today and Gillespie the Gallant made it very clear that they would be giving his Royal Ryanness a rest ( well he's not getting any younger!) and that as they have a good stock of bowlers in the team they would be doing a bit of rotating ( my words not his). This means that his Royal Ryanness will be fresh as a daisy for the matches that I Lady Lainey can attend.

Joe Roots fantastic knock on Saturday has carved his name into Yorkshire cricketing history. He is showing his skill and maturity and is a huge addition to the Yorkshire team.

Former besty home county of Durham are in action against Nottinghamshire after travelling down to Trent Bridge yesterday.Hopefully they will not go into the match with the usual Durham arrogance, which hasn't served them too well this early in the season.
The members at Durham were quite vocal last week about the recipient of the Benefit year. He is injured ( again!) and so not playing  ( as he has been for the last 4 seasons) and as one gentleman eloquently put it. 'He's had a blinking* benefit year every year for the past four. Not played and been paid!!!

* not the actual word he used!

I think that at the 'Benefit match' next Sunday  it will be interesting to see peoples reaction. However if you hire a hospitality box for the day you even get a visit from the Benefit player. ( now I am not saying a word!)

Over in the football, play offs are about to start and  The Blades take to the field on Friday against Yeovil with them travelling down to Yeovil on Bank Holiday Monday. Fingers crossed.

So I am off to super swanky Lady Lainey office to see what havoc the boys have caused whilst I was on my jollies.

And if you want to bat like Joe Root but are not lucky enough to have Gillespie the Gallant to help you with your technique, try the cricketcoachapp.

A coach in the palm of your hand http://www.cricketcoachapp.com/

Have a Happy Monday

Sunday, 28 April 2013

The morning after..................

..................THE DAY BEFORE!! OMG what a flipping brilliant day yesterday was.It the wedding of cousin The Great Gibson at the super spooky ( supposedly haunted) Manor House. And wow what a day it was. The weather was horrendous yesterday morning with me coming back from Tesco resembling a drowned rat!.However by the time Dame Didi arrived and we were waiting for a taxi. The sun was shining and it was a glorious day............and that is how it stayed!

Well the whole gang turned out   ( OK a couple didn't) and what a wonderful day it was. There were a few unsuspecting folk who had the 'privilege' of being seated on our table, yes I bet they will not forget that in a hurry. It was great that cousin Sir Stuart  was there too, he had come up from Bath ( last saw him August last year when we had to 'dismantle' Auntie Lynn's house to remove a sofa!).He was super kind to Lady Lainey and Dame Didi and gave us a lift home ( yeah because we could have walked! NOT!!!).
All in all a wonderful day and congratulations to the happy couple  Mr & Mrs Cousin Great Gibson.

Now for the part which made the day even better. I was trying to keep up on Twitter to what was happening  at the cricket. As you know from yesterday Yorkshire had been set a target of  336 to win the match. Huge amount of runs in any ones books. So I was trying to see what was happening ( made more difficult as the day went on by the amount of wine Dame Didi was pouring down my neck!).

Mr Funky the chauffeur then sent me a text message to say that Joe Root was in top form. After a mad scramble through 'tweets' I say that the Tykes had only gone and jolly well 'stuffed' ( technical cricket term) former besty home county of Durham.
So here is my version of events. Durham declared  on 275-4  smugly thinking that Yorkshire would struggle. In the boys went ( and I can tell you I really wish that I had been at Chester Le Street to see this). Joe Root showed why he has been selected for England with a amazing  182 runs. He was helped along the way by  skipper Andrew Gale, Jonny Bairstow, Gary Ballance and Adil Rashid. Joe was bowled by Callum Thorp with one run needed for victory and having been at the crease for over six hours. Then   Bresnan came in and finished it off!  How flipping brilliant are my Tykes???

Paul Collingwood had made a comment last week about Ben Stokes being the future for England, well I hope that he watched Joe Root yesterday, as he is truly the future for English cricket. ( and not an ounce of arrogance either)

Great praise also goes out to top coach Gillespie the Gallant. He really has made this team the best and in less than two years has turned them round. I am only sorry that I was not there to see this win.
No 'home comfort' for Geoff Cook.

Footy news  not too great though

The Mighty Whites lost and The Blades drew......................

...........even so a perfect day.

                                                             Mr & Mrs  ( at last!)

Saturday, 27 April 2013

It's the Wedding!

No he's not going!

So today is the BIG DAY, yes it is the wedding of cousin The Great Gibson. I am trying frantically to get myself organised ( because I have only known about the wedding since before Xmas!). Dame Didi  has just messaged me that she is having a bath ( did I want to know that!).

So back to yesterday and the cricket, well I set off and was feeling OK the sun was shining and it was lovely to sit in the sun.Mr Funky the Chauffeur arrived just after 11am and we had a chat ( yes he was using swear words including that horrid four letter word...................golf!). No wickets tumbled, so we ate our sandwiches at lunchtime and then Mr Funky went home to get ready to go to work.

I settled down to watch the afternoon session until I started to feel a bit poorly again! so after stopping off in the ladies I finally made it to Lady Lainey limo and home. Albeit through hale storms!!! Now what the Donald duck was this all about, I have been waiting for this match all winter and now have been poorly nearly everyday. I kinda think it is too much excitement.! ( actually I think that it was something really horrid and hope that I get through today without anything making a repeat performance).

Today Yorkshire have been set a target of 336 so #COYT!!!!!

Footy today sees

The Mighty Whites at home to Brighton
The Blades are at home to Preston ( and had better win, Mr Funky said that they look like they don't want to go up, what would he know he supports Darlo!)

OMG I have just looked out  of the window and its is really raining, stotting off the ground rain!. Just like I had on my wedding day! Which everyone told me was lucky. It would have been really lucky for me if Noah had turned up on his ark and whisked me away. #savedexpenseofdivorce.

However today we are really going to wish Paul and Diane all the best in their new life together, ( which is just like their old life but with a piece of paper involved now).

So good luck to them, good luck to my beloved Yorkshire, and to the Mighty Whites and The Blades and most of all good luck to me trip trapping in the rain in my Jimmy Choo's!

Friday, 26 April 2013

Its really is F(ryan)day!!!

Hurrah it is F(ryan)day for real today. Yes I am off once again to Chester le Street to see my Tykes take on former besty home county of Durham. Yesterday was wet and cold and I decided not to set out for the game until lunchtime. however lunch came , and then CAME again and I had to go back to bed with a raging temperature, and not feeling too well!! ON A MATCH DAY TOO!. I think that it was all the excitement of yesterday. Well I haven't had a glass of wine in about 2 weeks so I know it wasn't alcohol induced!!!

Anyhooo I am up, and about to get myself organised and the sun is shining so I am hoping to get a full day today .
Yesterday Yorkshire were bowled out for 177 (Onions with figures of  5-63), and after reading all the reports on the match I have say that  at only 50 runs short of Durham I hardly think that Yorkshire collapsed #bbc!!!.

So I am gearing up to see his Royal Ryanness bowling and hoping  that on this the last day that I Lady Lainey  can attend ( due to the wedding of the Great Gibson tomorrow) I will see a cracking Yorkshire performance.

Unlike Ryan and the rest of the team, we don't all have a Gillespie the Gallant to coach us ( or in my case a Harry Latchman) so if you are looking for help with your  cricketing technique have a look at the great #Cricketcoachapp.
You can follow on Twitter (as above) or Facebook  wwwfacebook.com/cricketcoachapp
or check out their website for more details http://www.cricketcoachapp.com/about.html
Its a great idea and is  there to guide  and motivate players of all levels . Your own private coach in the palm of your hand. With bowling/fielding, batting and wicket keeping all covered this has to be the simplest  way to improve your game. All on a smartphone! Why didn't I think of that!
So if you don't have a Gillespie the Gallant like Yorkshire, or a Harry Latchman like I, Lady Lainey, download the cricketcoachapp instantly!!!

Besty ex cricketer friend RMFC called last night but as I was in bed feeling like I had been run over by a steam roller I didn't take the call ( actually I was asleep and missed it). However he left a message to say that he had been watching cricket ( I assume at former county of Hampshire) and if so they had a fantastic day of cricket with Jimmy Adams hitting an unbeaten double century! Now that would have been worth seeing.

And now with the sandwiches packed and the flasks of coffee made. I am bidding you all a 'Bon Journee' as I am off to watch my Tykes ( and may even check out my cricket coaching app!)


Thursday, 25 April 2013

Things that I 'likey' by Lady Lainey


I 'likey' the fact that My Tykey Vikings are playing so close to I, Lady Lainey that I could touch them ( Mr Funky the chauffeur has told me that I am NOT to touch them, restraining orders are not very Lady like).

I 'likey' that Tykes are polite young men and smile and signed autographs ( not for me you understand, I could not possibly ask)

I 'likey' that even though the weather is complete and utter poo ( serious meteorological term) that  lots of 'Tyke' people showed up to support the 'boys' in their trip over the border to Co Durham. ( and they are at least friendly!).

I 'likey' that His Royal Ryanness took a wicket early on yesterday to  make Lady Lainey's day.

I 'likey' that His Royal Ryanness was fielding within serious touching distance to I, Lady Lainey and thankfully didn't have his purple undies on ( they were an odd colour definitely not 'nude' I knows this jolly blinking well because he kept bending over in front of me, Brave boy!)!

I 'likey' the fact that it didn't rain and at times the sun did shine on the righteous ( that would be me).

I 'likey' the fact that 'Jo Bling' was not too busy in super swanky Lady Lainey office that he could  text me.

I 'likey' being on holiday so that I can see my Tykes.

I 'likey' sitting on my own ( Mr Funky the chauffeur was playing GOLF!!!) and having peace and quiet ( no Mr Funky chattering on and saying swear words like 'flipping heck,what the Donald duck, holy moly and chuffing nell').

I 'likey' that Liam Plunkett took a wicket against his old team.

I 'likey' seeing Gillespie the Gallant doing his coachy things.

I 'likey' laughing at Pauly Pauls tweets about Yorkshire upping the security around the dressing room ( not sure what he was implying)

I 'likely' sunshine or at least no rain which is exactly what it is doing here now!!! Delayed start I think!

I 'likey' CRICKET!

'Likey likey!'

Wednesday, 24 April 2013

The Big 300!!

Holy macaroni!! Can you believe that we are now 300 blogs down, 300 blogs about the life of I, Lady Lainey. OMG when I wrote the first one last summer I never for one moment thought that I would still be scribbling down my thoughts 299 blogs later.

We have had tears and tiara throwing tantrums, moving woes. Frog watch and Slugs wars, deceitful 'friends'and of course  ' KNICKERGATE' ( yeah like I will ever forget the sight of his Royal Ryanness in his undies). Drunken nights back home in France, spying on the neighbours! Visit to  Concorde. Pink Hippo and Vomit Bag getting into scrapes ( or maybe that was their mummy's)Football, cycling, F1 and of course CRICKET!!! which apart from my life is what this whole blog is centred around.

So without further ado, lets get down on with the 300th blogday.

Holy flipping moly not only is it the 300th blog it is also the day that I Lady Lainey, don my bestest tiara ( and packing my 'Blades' beanie hat 'just in case') and head off in Lady Lainey limo ( yes I am driving myself ) on the A1 to see my beloved besty home county of Yorkshire take on former besty home county of Durham. To say I am super excited is an understatement and I have charged up the batteries on my new camera ( 26x zoom, so no escaping me). Gillespie the Gallant and the boys will be well photographed ( Oh god I sound like some sad old stalker.........)

He 'tweeted' yesterday that they are looking forward to the challenge, well Dizzy that makes two of us!! ( actually there are more but who cares). Lets just call a spade a spade and say that The Tykes are looking for the chance to completely trample all over Durham !!!! #controversial  #notsportsmanlike #don'tgiveahoot

OMG I am soooo bouncy excited, can hardly eat my breakfast! ( now that's a first!), however I have plenty of  provisions stored to get me through the day. Mr Funky the chauffeur is not making an appearance until tomorrow and then only for an hour or two, as he has to go off to work and earn some pennies.
So with gallons of coffee, home made soup, sandwiches and cake aplenty as well as lots of fruit and yogurt, I think that I am prepared.

Crickety news.........

.........Well former besty home county of Durham are hosting Yorkshire this week ( in case you didn't know) and Geoff Cook is hoping for 'home comfort' against them, Fat chance! COYT and stuff them! ( very technical cricket term).

Other news over in IPL Chris Gayle scored 100 off 30 balls, Twitter was buzzing yesterday (doesn't anyone else work?). This was the quickest century ever in professional cricket. he went on to score an impressive 175 not out. Truly great cricket.

Over in Australia  Brad Haddin has been named Vice Captain of the Ashes team. Good luck mate!


Who blinking well cares what the weather is like, I am off to Chester Le Street what ever because I know that my Tykes are there.
I kind of know already that it isn't going to be 30c so may as well wrap up and enjoy the day!

On this day April 24th

1905 First class cricket debut of Jack Hobbs

1970 Damien Fleming Australian bowler born

1973 Sachin Tendulker born

2013 Lady Lainey goes to ogle  cheer on Yorkshire at Emirates Durham ICG

Well that's all folks as I  now have to get a wriggle on and twirl my curls and get myself off to The Riverside to see my men in action.



Tuesday, 23 April 2013

Happy St George's Day

Happy St George's Day to one and all and a time to celebrate being British and all things British.( even though St George was actually Greek). It's a time to celebrate Yorkshire pudding ( very British), The Queen ( icon of Britishness!),wearing socks and sandals at the beach ( hideously British) and about time that this was made into a public holiday! ( great British idea)

So I am wearing red and white today a I set off to super swanky Lady Lainey office and  feeling very patriotic. I will entertain the boys at lunch time with a rousing rendition of 'Land of Hope and glory'  and then quiz them on all things 'British'. Now that should be entertaining.

On this wonderful day I have sad news to report  Azeem Rafiq the Yorkshire spin bowler has been ruled out for  six weeks with a knee injury. Get well soon Azeem the squad will miss you.

Also the Shane Watson resignation in Australia rumbles on as it is now alleged that he resigned to avoid being sacked. come on Oz get your act together, get your team in order, and get ready to give our boys the matches of their lives......PLEASE!!

I am going to have dinner with M'Lady Margaret tonight and then coming home to get ready for the best 3 days of the year. I have been checking the weather which does not look too promising but as I have already said, nothing is going to blight these few days ( except if his Royal Ryanness isn't there).

Tonight 'The Blades' are in action against Crewe. They have to win!!!

Over in La Belle France Dame Didi has been busy preparing Chateau Didi premier in readiness for my arrival in September. New shed erected ( to hold all my luggage?) and terrace all cleaned ready for me to do a spot of sunbathing. all she needs to do now is restock the cellar and jobs a good un.

So without further ado, I am making haste to the office to get the last day of work out of the way and then 3 days of FREEDOM!!!! I am a little bit excited incase you can't tell!.

Monday, 22 April 2013

Wooohoooo!!!! Two day week!!!

NOOOO it isn't F(ryan)day already!! It Monday and the start of my two day working week and then I am jolly well hot footing it to Chester Le street to see my Tykes! OMG the boys in the office are going to wish I had taken the week off!.

Well lets have a look at what was going on in the sports world yesterday.
Well her Serene Highness always said that children who bite, spit or punch =not nice children  I wonder what she would say about an adult biting!.
So Luis Suarez bit Chelsea's Branislav Ivanovic. Worse still he then tweeted that he had apologised, and all was OK!Obvious so that his followers on Twitter would still 'love' him. Well to be honest I think that it is a disgusting performance, and really not the behaviour of an adult ( or a human?). However in light of some of the things that he has done I am beginning to see him as a 'spoilt brat'. Liverpool should off load him quickly before he moves onto worse thingds. He is a disgrace to his team and to football in general. And at the moment football and the behaviour of fans is under the spotlight, well now that beam is back on Suarez. #nasty

Over in Bahrain, the F1 grand Prix took place yesterday with Vettel taking the top spot. Looks like there may have been a spot of trouble. ( I was napping and did not see the highlights) as Baron Button has said that  Sergio Perez drove dangerously ( he rammed Button from behind, and NO I am not going to make any unladylike comments!). Worrying. LH was beaten by Di Resta ( who actually looks about 10!)

In cricket Paul Collingwood has been putting his views forward. He says that England are in a right mess and that they should bring in Ben Stokes as he is the future. Well we are well aware what Ben does when given a golden opportunity, he abuses it and I think that he should not be considered to play for England until he has 'grown up'. My views entirely but Durham seem to 'breed' arrogance in home grown players ( hence Collingwood thinking he is on the selectors committee).
I have seen it numerous times over the last 21 years and it is not good. Give Stokes another year to play at county level and to grow up. Sometimes too much too young is not a good thing.

So without further ado, I am going to get into Lady Lainey limo and sneak out by a different road, so that Tzarina Katerina doesn't see me as she is 'camping out' at a house near me ( perfect viewing spot to keep an eye on me). #don'tyoulikeyourhome #neverinit!

Good luck with the terrace today Dame Didi.

Sunday, 21 April 2013

Sunday Snoozeday

Well it's Sunday and I gave been awake since five of the clock!!! So I kind of guess that today will really be a Sunday snoozeday! I am making 'Stable pie' today  ( well not sure if it really is 100% beef), that will see me through to tea time tomorrow.
Looking outside it is not as sunny as yesterday but it isn't frosty!!! So I will be hanging the washing out on the line as soon as it is done. ( maybe putting it in the washing machine would be a useful start).

So lets have a super Sunday sporty round up.

Warwickshire bowled former besty home county of Durham out. Chris Wright took an impressive 6-31 to Durham head home with their tail between their ageing legs. Coach Geoff Cook ( yes he is still there!) said that they 'ultimately well beaten', NON MERDE!!!  talk about stating the obvious. NOTE TO SELF... send out CV to Durham CCC for next season, great job, sit on balcony grinning inanely, make totally obvious comments and ignore what everyone says. I think I could tick all those boxes #controversial!

Over in Australia things do not seem to be looking up in any way. Shane Watson has stepped down as vice captain less than three months before the Ashes test . It has been said that he has given up the role to concentrate on his game. Things are not looking to good down under. However methinks that they need a period of re adjustment to finally get a super  team together. Rome wasn't built in a day. And look at the England team!

Besty home county of Yorkshire are having a bit of R & R in preparation of meeting up with I , Lady Lainey at Chester le Street on Wednesday ( well I think that they are actually going there to play cricket). Holy mackerel the bedroom and dressing room look as though a whirlwind has gone through them as I try on a million different outfits, tiaras everywhere!. Jeans and fleece will just not do!!

Well over in footy land

Birmingham beat the Might Whites.Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo was on the field too. How many more games has he got in him????

OH NO!!! The Blades went down 3-0 at Portsmouth  I think that they had been scoffing too many fish and chips when they got there. This drops The Blades down to 6th in the table. I am genuinely feeling sick now!.

Over in la Belle France at Chateau Didi Premier, the Dame has had a new shed put up and got the terrace all cleaned and ready for the arrival of Lady Lainey in September, ( shed will be perfect for all my junk!). And now that she has hot water again she has had a shower. She has not however ventured into the O'Bel bar. bot even to play 'Rapido'. Come on Didi be more adventurous!

With that I am off to put the washing on, make stable pie and then go to Countess Christine of McNally's ( she of the 4 large dogs).

Bon Journee

Saturday, 20 April 2013

The sun is out, the sky is blue.................

there's not a cloud to spoil the view..................but there is a flipping  layer of frost on the car windscreens!!! I can hear people out scraping them as I am typing this!.I have not looked out of the window, well I probably wouldn't be able to see as I haven't been able to get a window cleaner since before Christmas!! What is all that about???

Well very sad news came through yesterday of the death of Mike Denness. I had the pleasure of spending a couple of evenings in company with him when I was a very young lady back in 1996. I was invited to the Test at Edgbaston by my friend and former umpire Allan Jones. ( I even got to meet Ronnie Irani!).  OMG I could write a book about the funny and not so funny things that happened over those two day but........I may share them at some point, but I digress.
Mike, was a funny and wonderful man. He had been awarded an OBE in the New Years Honours list this year.
Our thoughts are with this family at this sad time

Former besty home county of Durham look to be struggling at Edgbaston against Warks, not a great day yesterday for them , close they were 11-1.

So the Tykes were all out on the town for a spot of team building last night ( and coach's birthday I expect). Hopefully they will have shaken off there headaches by Wednesday when they tip up to entertain I Lady Lainey. Not sure if you were aware that Yorkshire are taking on Durham this coming week!!!

Well today in the football it is a tough one.

Birmingham are taking on The Mighty Whites!!! only full time will tell!

The Blades are down in Portsmouth.

F1 news, rumours are rife that Mark Webber is looking to change sportscars, however he has dismissed this and said that he is staying in F1. Shame really as I don't think he has any personality  Unlike Baron button who is sporting a very large tattoo on his shoulder, reports state that it is a shell design. I have seen it and am not so sure.

Well I am about to go and brave the elements this morning and do my 'bit' for charity.

So have a great day.

Friday, 19 April 2013

F(ryan)day, birthdays and one step closer to the weekend.

FINALLY, the first decent nights sleep all week and I have awoken this morning ready for the weekend...........only to realise that there is one more day in super swanky Lady Lainey office!!! oh well bacon and egg sarnies should make the morning more pleasant.

Surprisingly I am starting the cricket round up with former besty home county of Durham. They were in danger of being made to follow on when Borthwick and Colleywobble  Collingwood made a stand and put on 153 runs. Now it is well documented that I feel that Collingwood does not pull his weight ( along with this years Benefit nominee) and I am eating my words as he put on 74 runs. However I guess that this will see the decline in his cricket appearances. Watch this space.

Besty home county of Yorkshire. well the friendly was played in the true sense of cricket, gentlemanly and as a proper game. Both sides agreed to bat half the day each ,with the  scores showing at  Yorkshire 164-7 and Lancashire 163-3 when the game was ended. This match had free entry for the three days and although the weather may have been somewhat lacking in blazing sunshine. Wonderful cricket was seen at Headingly. Bresnan taking 2 wickets in Lancashires innings. great to see Tim back and sooooooo excited about next week.

A sad farewell to the Duke of Adelaide on Twitter but only for a short while, although he is not going to lose touch, which is a relief,as who else would read my blog in Australia!.

This weekend is not cricket, so I have lots to do including going to see former neighbours Sir Kevin and the fair Hazel, as they are doing more to raise funds for under privileged children. So popping in tomorrow for coffee and a browse, hopefully I will not come home with a car dull of 'stuff'. I could give them a house full of 'stuff' to sell if I could get my act together and sort it out.

Happy Birthday to Dizzy
Happy Birthday to Dizzy
Happy Birthday best home county of Yorkshire coach
Happy Birthday to you

Yes it is the birthday of the greatest bowler to ever coach Yorkshire. Gillespie the Gallant is 21! Just like I Lady Lainey. Cake and fizzy pop, sausage rolls and jelly and ice cream? I flipping hope so as it wouldn;t be a proper birthday with out them
Today is also the birthday of 'Justin' or as he is actually known Jason ( yes another Jason having a birthday today!), super subby draughtsman who came to work with us when we were tres busy. I hope that you have a fab birthday Jase and we all hope that you 'pop'; into the office soon as we miss you. ( you know that means come in and make the tea!!!).

Dame Didi is not having much luck in La Belle France as she still had no hot water yesterday ( no shower since when?????). Hope that all is now in order, and that you get a new 'plombier' soon.

Well time has run away from me again and it is time to hit the A1 and make the 'boys' day by shattering the peace in the office.

Bon Weekend tout le monde

Birthday Boy

Thursday, 18 April 2013

Lady Lainey in the naughty corner

Oh no, now I will never get to be his wife, I couldn't even remember the birthday of Sir Sean of Bean!!! The only man for whom  I would wear a wedding dress again. Yes it was his birthday yesterday and I flipping well forgot!. What with the funeral and the stress from the stupid lettings agents. I tell you things have got to change and soon! I used to be organised and unfazed by things! yeah well I suppose that is life really.

Happy belated birthday Sean and hope that you had a great day. ( just in case he reads my blog!)

 I am on countdown until I get to see my beloved Yorkshire playing at Enormous Dinosaurs/Idiots cricket ground ( Emirates Durham ICG as it is officially known. The Riverside as the diehards call it!). I am getting myself all sorted. Flasks are clean and ready for the gallons of coffee that I will be needing in the event of the weather not improving. This time next week you hopefully will have seen the first photographs from the the first days play. I am so excited and am having huge problems deciding which tiara to wear, or should I go 'incognito'? I am thinking the orange curls may give the game away.

Ongoing saga with lettings agent. Load of poo and not to be trusted/used/recommended. you get the drift. So best not to 'VENTURE' into this agents in Darlington looking for good service!

And to top it all I fell into bed last night totally exhausted, went straight to sleep only to be woken up an hour later by the worst winds ever ( outside not me!) and then was kept awake until after 2 am!! so I am now fully resembling a zombie!.

Lets get on to things that make I Lady Lainey happy.

Yes Yorkshire, Dizzy's  Diamonds, The Vikings, my Tykes! How were they getting on in the friendly against Lancashire. Bairstow and Rashid managed to pile on the runs for the Tykes after Lancashire declared overnight. Bairstow reached his half century in 67 balls ( including 10 fours), he retired on 131. Close of play on day 2, Yorkshire 381-8. Everything to play for today.

Former besty home county of Durham were in 1st day action at Edgbaston.. Warwickshire went into bat and Durham bowlers were in good form but the end of day one showed Warks on 299-7. All to play for there too.

Well here in 'benefit' Britain, ITV chose to show Jeremy Kyle over coverage of the funeral of Baroness Thatcher for which the great and the good  ( and the neither of the aforementioned) turned out. The Duchess of York who will turn up at the opening of a packet of crisps ( and looks as if she has been to many of those) was seen on camera, laughing and joking in the St Pauls. Silk purse, sows  ear? #disrespectful.
Amanda Thatcher the granddaughter of the former Prime minister is now the hottest thing in the UK after a moving reading in the Cathedral. #intheblood.

So as I now face a drive to super swanky Lady Lainey office on this wild and windy day. I hope that you all have a great one!!

Wednesday, 17 April 2013

The Funeral

Today is the funeral of Baroness Thatcher, as I said last week, love her or loath her, she was a great woman and as Prime Minister her policy of not standing down in the face of opposition is something that the Government of today and the future should remember. Much has been written about her in the press good and bad. however today is really a day for her family and friends to pay their respects. most of us have the chance to do this in relative privacy. Today because of her standing in the history of England she will be honoured.
RIP Margaret Thatcher.

That aside, The Tykes were in action in  action against Lancashire, Tim Bresnan was back in the fold and great to see him back to bowling fitness. his along with the other bowlers put on a great display of Yorkshire bowling. Liam Plunkett and jack brooks, winter signings and house mates, further pushed their claim for inclusion in the team next week against Durham with two wickets a piece. Lancashire ended the day 267-7.

Durham are at Egdbaston this week starting today. this is one of Lady Laineys favourite grounds for it is here that the great Ronnie Irani waved to her!! and better still where she was photographed with him. Oh great days and so much fun.

Last night down at Bramall Lane Sheffield United were in action against Brentford where they drew 2-25. There was some not so pleasant behaviour. 3 red cards and  9 yellow cards were shown through the match!

The Blades are now in 4th position with a game in hand of the other top 6 clubs.


Leeds and Birmingham both won 1-0 last night. Birmingham making sure that Bristol City were relegated..

Leeds are standing in 11th position in the league table with Birmingham below them in 12th place. not good BUT not bad wither. You get my drift.

Well I have little to report today ( actually I have lots but it would turn into a rant so will hold it back. Just to say if you ever decide to rent out your house in the North East of Blight do not use a company which sounds similar to 'adVENTURE').

So with that I am off to super swanky Lady Lainey office to keep up on Twitter with what is going on with the Tykes.

Hope you have been doing lots of DIY Dame Didi.

Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Preparations begin.....

in earnest  for next week, which is a HUGE week in the life of I Lady Lainey. It is the week of the 'Derby' match at The Riverside. Durham V Yorkshire! And it is also the wedding of cousin The Great Gibson. I have finally settled on the 'frock that I am going to wear for the wedding and now am frantically trying to get everything in order for the day.

why am I being so prepared? well I am only flipping well going to see the first 3 days of the BIG game and I am taking my new camera, with 26X zoom. Oh I am so flipping bouncy excited that I may have to go and have a lie down now before heading off to super swanky Lady Lainey office.

Pauly Paul 'tweeted' me yesterday to say that he thought he might have seen me at cricket on Saturday. Well as you know I was way too busy catching up on my beauty sleep. Then the Duke of Adelaide joined in and then they started 'swearing'!!! saying the 'GOLF' word. Well as well you know golf and I are not comfortable bedfellows.

Wow I LURRVVEEE Ashley Giles, I think that he sees things the same way as I Lady Lainey. he has ACTUALLY said out loud and in print that England DO NOT Pieterson to win ICC  Champions Trophy. KP was sent home from New Zealand apparently needing an operation on his knee, which was eventually ruled  out and that he needed rest and rehab (yep sitting on the bench at IPL is real rest and rehab!). Now it is thought that he will need surgery ( all that long haul flying!) and Ashley Giles has stated that the team is not about one player ( yes I have been banging on about it for flipping ages) and  different players must step up to the plate. Well hip hip hoorraahh!!!! Some one seeing sense at last.

Which is more than can be said about Steven Finn and the 'no ball' fiasco. Now that the ICC are putting the no ball ruling in place at the end of this month, Finn has said he is OK with it ( gosh I bet the ICC are relieved!!)..................as long as the rule bears his name. GET OVER YOURSELF!!!!! What is it with players, who appear for England a handful of times and think they are bigger than the game. the only thing that is big about them is their ego.

OK so I was off on a rant there and think that I had better set off to Lady laineyworkville as today the 'little people' return to school and the roads are going to be hectic.

so until tomorrow

bye bye.

Monday, 15 April 2013

Anyone seen the weekend????

Yep its gone again in the blinking of an eye. One minute I am driving home on Friday evening in Lady Lainey limo, jolly happy and thinking of all the fun I am going to have over the weekend. Next thing I am back in Lady Lainey limo off to super swanky Lady Lainey office. It is over too quickly and I still have heaps to do!!!

To make matters worse it is blowing a gale here and the first time that I don't go out to France at this time, it is over 22c in Nantes!! So not a happy lapin! However Dame Didi is having a great time back home, hanging new curtains and generally doing a spot of tidying up and DIY. However my guess is that if it gets hotter she will be sitting on the terrace, reading books and drinking pastis! I am only jealous because my afternoons will be, sitting at my desk, screaming at 'boys' and drinking gallons of coffee.

F1 in China was not great for the Baron, however he did move up from 8th place to 5th and LH was in 3rd, leaving Fernando Alonso in 1st. I didn't see any of the race (was probably napping..............now I know where the weekend went!) so cannot really comment. needless to say I expect the Baron to pull up his boots and get himself onto the podium pretty soon!!!!.

The MCC are developing a scheme to teach children to 'play fair' they report that after doing a survey amongst children it was found that over  two thirds of them felt pressure in sport to cheat on their teammates. What a load of 'tosh'. Schools have been for years doing sports days where all children get medals and certificates because 'there are no losers'!!! Well hell!! how does this set children up for the real world. No wonder they think that the world is waitng for them!
It is sad that the MCC are not pushing to get more cricket introduced in the schools. And until schools change their way of indoctrinating children it is a pointless exercise. I think a little email might be fired off later.

I am keeping this short as I know that France will be 'online' soon ( unless she is still sleeping) . so have a good day Dame Didi

On this day

15th April

1452 Leonardo di Vinci was born

1990 Greta Garbo dies

1993 Leslie Charteris dies ( writer of The Saint!)

Much more tomorrow

Sunday, 14 April 2013

Rainy Sunday here at Tyke Towers

Well it as lovely yesterday morning and I was busy doing all the Lady Lainey type things ( cooking see pic above, cleaning, washing and napping!). Then it rained and it hasn't stopped since. It is now blowing a gale and I am going to get back into bed as soon as I have posted this and read my book for an hour.

So lets see what happened yesterday in the cricket.

Sussex managed to get the match at Headingley wrapped up early so that they could get on the road home as soon as possible, ensuring that they all got home in time to watch 'The Voice'. The Tykes failed to make the required 261 to get Sussex in to bat again. it was all over in 30 minutes. Not a great start to the season for my boys, however it is the first match and now that they have that out of the way, it is time for them to get 'marauding' and show their true talent. Big shout out to His Royal Ryanness who batted brilliantly as well as doing what he does best in the bowling.

Over at the Dinosaur graveyard, former besty home county of Durham wrapped up a win as predicted and it  my decision not to go was well founded as I would have only been 'stuck' in Austins bar waiting for Mr funky to pick me up after footy!!!

Onward to the next matches.

Now to the footy

Well new manager seemed to have agreed with the Mighty Whites as they won against Sheffield Wednesday 2-1. jolly well done to the boys.

And the same goes for The Blades who won 2-0. They beat their play off rivals  Swindon under new manager  Chris Morgan. They appeared unaffected by the departure of Danny Wilson. The Blades are still in 5th place and go into their next match with gunning for promotion.


Chinese Grand Prix today and LH got pole ( I know where I would like to put that pole!). Baron button is in a disappointing 8th place on the grid. Round up on this tomorrow.

So now as I prepare for another hour in bed reading, today is not going to be about lounging around as I have to put lots of Lady Lainey treasures on ebay to make some pennies to pay for my ticket to Singapore to visit Sir Robert of Solihull ( soon to be Sir Robert of Singapore).

Look  out 'The Raffles hotel' here I come!!!

Saturday, 13 April 2013

Lady Lainey is back to normal curliness

What a chuffing relief!!! I went very tentatively to the hairdressers last night after work to see if she could do something with the orange afro and I emerged 40 minutes later in full Lady Lainey orange curl mode. She managed to transform my hair from an 'inverted triangle' ( her words) to the wonderful Lady Lainey curly bob of old. Even today after I have had an extra long lie in, my curls look amazing and I am jolly well over the moon. so now that I am firing on all Lady Lainey cylinders lets have a look at what was going on in cricket yesterday.

Well there was rain and there were delayed starts and at Headingley thy took an early lunch so were able to catch up on 'Neighbours' before play started.The Tykes them managed to get to  140-7. However out stepped His Royal Ryanness and together with Gary Ballance they put on 81. Ryan on 48. This brought them to 228-8 before bad light stopped play. They are 32 in arrears. Ballance and Brookes take the field today if the weather improves.

Over at Chester le Street, the weather was also against them and with Keiswetter putting on 39 for somerset it doesn't look too good for Durham. Today the forecast is not good and I Lady Lainey am staying in the warm and dry of Tykes Towers ( unlike this time last year at LT Towers when staying inside did not guarantee being dry #seriousdampissue).

Footy is rolling towards the end of the season and all the 'Robbo's' are wondering if it will be the last season for cousin Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo after his spell at Birmingham.

They were in action last night against Fulham and drew 2-2 were he got an outing and  luckily no yellow card.

The mighty Whites have appointed a new manager Brian McDermott has stepped in to take them to the close of the season. Today they are in action against Sheffield Wednesday.

The Blades are at home to Swindon and are under the care of the coach Chris Morgan after the shock departure earlier in the week of Danny Wilson. Having only a couple of weeks ago stated that I would be sending my CV to The Lane 'just in case' I never really thought that Danny would go #asshockedastherestofyou.

So today Dame Didi is off to Château Didi Premier and I for one am jolly envious. However I know that the neighbours (s o dog and boxer dog) will be glad to see that she is alone and know that hey will be able to sleep well and not be disturbed by maroon 5 blasting out into the wee small hours. Bon Voyage Dame Didi and see you at the wedding.

So now that I have put all my scrambled thoughts down in print I wish you all a super Saturday where ever you are.

Oh yes Dame Didi can you get me a cutting from the 'Boule de Neige'? I will email you a photo of the leaves in case the flowers haven't come out.

Friday, 12 April 2013

Not good yesterday but it's F(ryan)day today

Well what a week it has been actually more like a  week and a half!!!! What with 'knickergate' ( I will never get over the sight of his Royal Ryanness in his undies!). Freezing my 'wotnots' off at Emirates Dinosaur Grave yard ( well something like that....... oh yes Durham ICG). And then having to sit in super swanky Lady Lainey office and watch the updated 'Twitter' feed on the scores as office 'wireless' is totally rubbish and we can't get the cricket commentaries. And that's just the cricket, don't even get me started on 'The Blades'..................

..............so today is F(ryan)day, the day that we indulge in bacon and egg sarnies in aforementioned office, the day that I do even less work and look even prettier in preparation for the up coming weekend, and the day that I am going to get my hair trimmed!!!!!!!!!!!!  Oh yes after my 'close shave' (and that is actually nearer to the truth than I care to remember) with 'Sweeny Todd'the demon hairdresser of Coniscliffe Road, back at the end of November. I have had to wait this long to actually have some hair to trim. And with the upcoming nuptials of cousin The Great Gibson in 2 weeks I thought that I had better get tidied up.

Yesterday had its highs and lows for Lady Lainey, we will get to the lows later firstly the highs.

Wensleydale creamery are now following me on 'Twitter' woohoo, I am now part of the 'cheese' gang. And in celebration of this I am going to cook up some of their recipes over the weekend, starting with Tomato and potato pie. Yummy, it says 170g of Wensleydale ( not sure how much that is as I only work in 'old money') so will just chuck loads in. #can't go wrong!!!

Now for the lows

Well Yorkshire are looking to be in a spot of bother ( not a phrase that I ever want to use again on these pages). However Jack Brooke's proved himself on his debut by denying Sussex's Brown and Joyce from making centuries. Brooke's figures stood at  4-76. He was however denied a 5 wicket haul when His Royal Ryanness stepped up to the crease and took out Monty Panesar. now that was a way to finish.
The covers came on and  rain stopped play sadly. Sussex look to have a strong hold but lets see what today holds. And peeping out of the windows here at Tykes Towers I am thinking it will be  catching up with 'Heir Hunters', 'Bargain hunt' and 'Murder she wrote' as it is flipping chucking it down here!

Somerset went into the  day at the 'Dinosaurs Graveyard' with a lot to do and wickets tumbled all over the 'show' and the umpires must have earned their money simply 'putting them back together again'. 18 wickets fell in total yesterday. Durhams Chris Rushworth ( he of 'Pasha the dog') had recorded a career best of  6-58 as they took out Somerset for 132.
however the fightback started and Trego and Thomas ( really does sound like a double act) took 3 wickets a piece leaving Durham 92-8. Today will surely be the last day so I will not have to pack enough to feed an army ( well Mr Funky the chauffeur) tonight and can have a nice lazy day watching rubbish telly tomorrow ( or IPL).

Now for the flipping lowest of lows,

Holy flipping mackerel, I only went to put the 'Donald Ducking' wheelie bin out last night  and got attacked by a freakin' frog ( again). OMG I cannot believe that I am once again going to be a prisoner in my Towers. I am going to have to get Mr Funky to come round and see if he can seriously evict 'IT' or 'THEM'. Mr Funky can now not only be the chauffeur but also 'Frog buster'.

It's OK for Dame Didi she is packing to go home to France where all she has to worry about is 'Hooty' the owl, 'Wobin' ( obviously the Robin), mating pigeons and cats walking over the roof. No blinking frogs. Even the the Easter bunny never made it to her place. ( il est mort sur la route). However she will have to play 'United Nations Charades' with Ludovic the  'plombier'. Now that is a sight to behold!

So with all the nonsense emptied out of my head for another day. I bid you all a 'bon journee' and hope that you have as great a F(ryan)day as I intend to have.

and don't forget to check out  http://www.cornishcricketfestival.co.uk/  to see what is going on when first class cricket heads to the South West.

Thursday, 11 April 2013


I know its not cricket but The Blades need support today!!!

This season sees the  150th anniversary of Wisden the cricket 'bible'. It celebrates its momentous age with none other than Yorkshire CCC and  Sheffield United who are 150 this year. Rush out and buy your copy now!!!

So lets have a round up of County cricket yesterday.

WELL!!!!!! lets start with Besty Home county of Yorkshire. OMG not a great start for them, they were all out for 96 after being thoroughly 'attacked by Sussex 'Debutante' Chris Jordan, who came out of the first innings with figures of 6-48.
96 being the lowest total that Yorkshire have ever made against Sussex. However...................step up to the crease His Royal Ryanness, who took out the top order batsman and some. 3 wickets before the close of play, it sort of reminds me of Gillespie the Gallant at Chester Le Street way back in 2006, taking Durham apart. I think that today may be quite exciting.

And over at former besty home county of Durham things  were not fairing that much better, much of the top order went back to the pavilion pretty early and it was left to Scott Borthwick and Ben Stokes to see the team through to 250 at close. ( someone waving a beer bottle from the balcony as encouragement for Ben?????)

I DO NOT normally read down market red top tabloid newspapers however Pony Paul had bought one at lunchtime yesterday and it had a review of the season in which made interesting reading.
According to this paper
Yorkshire are' likely to be hit by England call ups, and their batting does not seem strong enough to reach top'.  Well we will see

As for Durham there were never truer words  printed, 'Ageing team must creak into life to regain form of the last few years'

Well let me just add that when I Lady Lainey was there on Sunday there was no sign of the player who had been awarded this seasons benefit. The player who 'gave his all' for the team. Yes that would be the player who has been out most of the last 3 seasons and now appears to be out again. Well never mind, pay in  the bank at the end of the month and better still, nice cheque at the end of the season and probably another contract to sit on the balcony next year. OH OH nearly turned into a rant.

On the footy front  news came through VERY late last night that Danny Wilson has left my beloved Blades. They are still in 5th place in the league and 6 points away from automatic promotion. They haven't scored at the lane since February and everyone is obviously getting a bit jittery.

So it was a brief round up today but with 'Jo Bling' swanning off to super swanky new build in Wembley I have been put in charge of the back up. Oh dear you know it is all going to end in tears and pitiful text messages!! ( and that's just 'Jo'!!)

Bon Journee

Wednesday, 10 April 2013

Another cricket week begins

So it is Wednesday and another cricket week begins, I will be sitting in super swanky Lady Lainey office shouting at the boys and trying to look pretty whilst watching the Twitter feed update, but hey is it not correct that the BBC are going to be covering the cricket on't wireless????    Quick glance at the local radio listings to see whether this is happening. YEAHHH!!! Oui c'est vrai!!!  Both a North East and a Yorkshire BBC radio station are going to be covering the matches. OMG it will be like I am there . Now I am getting really excited.

'Jo Bling ( aka Job the Jolly) is totally 'au fait' with   listening to the cricket but Pony Paul is moaning constantly ( and we haven't even tuned in't wireless). Well to be honest if you don't like cricket it could be torture, but that is nothing to the torture that we have to endure when Pony Paul starts singing all the wrong words to songs. This is known as a 'mondegreen' but in our office it is known as Pony Paul singing a total load of b*****ks!!!

I am up and dressed and ready for the day, (6.20am UK time) and the birds are singing their hearts out, it is obviously 'birdy' for COYT!!!

Well as I awoke this morning to the strains of 'The Boys are back in town' I was waiting for the weather forecast. It will be cold but dry today, but joy of joys, the weatherman said that next week will see the end of the cold spell with temperatures soaring to 20c. Whoopdi flipping do, get the fake tan out girls and then expose those legs Actually only if you live in the south of blighty!
Here in the North East it is probably going to stay cold and freezing, so best to not store the thermals away just yet.

After 'slug wars' last year here at the The Towers, It was suggested to me that I needed to block up a hole under the back door and 'the boys' at work suggested using expanding foam. Well who in their right mind would let me loose with a tin of that stuff. 'Jo Bling' ( aka job the Jolly) said 'you can't go wrong'. Well this was me that he was talking to. However a kind Rep came into the office and left us with a roll of expandable foam tape,( construction issue and used on many building) which seemed like a better choice for I,Lady Lainey to use. and I did. Hope that this will stop the slimy little blighters from leaving a trail across the boot room floor. Only time will tell. I will still leave the salt trail outside to deter them from attempting the 'climb' into my house.

I 'Tweeted' the Wensleydale creamery to let them know that I had given them a huge plug in 'Tales from the boundary' and they responded with a big 'Thank You'. However I sat by the drawbridge at Tykes Towers nearly all evening waiting for a bundle of cheese being delivered................disappointed again! Between Sean Bean, Wensleydale Creamery, His Royal Ryanness and Gillespie the Gallant, these 'Yorkies' are letting me down very badly. But I loves them all the same!

Tuesday, 9 April 2013

More cheese Gromit

Woohooo well last week it was announced that the Wensleydale Creamery were teaming up with Yorkshire CCC, and giving them some pennies in sponsorship. now I Lady Lainey think that maybe the Wensleydale Creamery could sponsor my blog by giving me bucket loads of cheese. I like Wensleydale au natural as well as with ginger ( hahaha how flipping ironic is that). So come on boys and drop off some cheesey goodies at Tykes Towers and I will give you superb write ups.

The Wensleydale creamery was established in the 12th century and now thanks to Wallace and Gromit ( and Yorkshire CCC) everyone knows about the most amazing cheese in the world. When I Lady Lainey lived in London  I was unable to partake of my favourite cheese ( or pease pudding or pickled cabbage) but I imagine that now it would be easy to buy in anywhere  (However not in France and when I move back home for good I am not sure what I will do!!!).

If you love this cheese, head on up to Hawes ( except on Sundays when it is chock full of hairy bikers eating ice cream and reving their engines) and have a wander around the creamery. A 'Grand day out'.

Also gutted that the 'class of 2013 picture ( yes the 'knickergate' pic) is now not so prominent on the Yorkshire CCC website. I have to say that made a really rubbish week into an excellent one. It's not everyday a Lady get to see his Royal Rynanness in his 'smalls' well I suppose Mrs Royal Ryanness does and  she gets the added honour of washing them too.

Knickers aside, this week sees the cricket taking off in earnest. Durham are at The Riverside  playing Somerset, whilst The Tykes are hosting Sussex at Headingley. I may very well be taking an extra day off at the end of the month to see my Tykes at Durham, as Mr Funky the chauffeur had dropped the ultimate bombshell tht we may not be able to go to the Scarborough Festival as he is going away to play GOLF...............GOLF!!!!!.................GOLF!!!!!. First flipping football and now godforsaken golf!!!! Apart from the fact that I am now in a huff with him, I think that I will have an extra day off and have peace and quiet whilst watching my beloved Yorkshire.( and may actually drive myself to Scarbella in August for the Festival, be more fun on my own!!)

Sad news that Matthew Maynard has decided to take time out of cricket. Totally understandable and I wish him all the best in what ever he does.

And finally, Baroness Thatcher passed away peacefully yesterday after a few years of ill health. Love her or hate her, Margaret Thatcher was an amazing woman who had more strength of character than any of the weak wristed politicians of today.
The daughter of a Grantham grocer she married Denis Thatcher an English business man in 1952. Denis was an MBE which he was awarded in 1945 after being mentioned in dispatches. He later became the most recent person to receive an hereditary title outside of the Royal Family.
Baroness Thatcher had two children Mark and Carole as well as two grandchildren
Our thoughts are with her family at this time. RIP Margaret.

Baroness Thatcher  1925-2013

Monday, 8 April 2013

Perfect Sunday although a tad chilly.

So I made it to Chester Le Street and managed to miss 'Peppa Pig and George' (thank goodness). However by 3pm I was ready to hijack the people walking round in the suits as it was so flipping cold I would have settled for the extra layer of 'Pig skin' to keep warm. So at 3.30pm Mr Funky the chauffeur and I decided that enough was enough and headed off to M & S food hall at the Arnison Centre for some mint imperials for Mummy Funky and then home to warmth!.......................

...........................And to watch IPL, well if you watched it you will know about   Gayle V Steyn. Now that was some T20 match with the 'super over' . You have to have seen it to appreciate it.,

I kept up on Twitter with how besty home county of Yorkshire were doing and, Liam Plunkett whose birthday it was yesterday took 6 wickets. A career best and I am pleased to say that he appears to have found his form with the Tykes. So good luck for the rest of the season Liam and I really hope that you take massive strides forward.

I am on countdown now to the 'biggy', only 2 weeks on Wednesday until my Tykes come to Durham, and I cannot wait!. I am still crossing the days off on my 365 hat calendar, as it is also the weekend of the wedding of the great Gibson. So a massive week for Lady Lainey.

over the weekend have been laughing at the 'tweets of Joe Scuderi, as he said 'Dizzy and I  #mulletbrothers. Well at least I am laughing again! And I can tell you it seems like a long time since I really laughed.

As it is the first week of the cricket season I am surprised to read that in county championship div II Lancashire are favourites to take the title with Essex and Hampshire looking to fight them. You know what??? its a good few months away and anything can happen.

So as I head of to super swanky Lady Lainey office this morning, full of cricket spirit, I am hoping that

  1. The weather warms up soon
  2. The weather really warms up soon
  3. I get some colour in my cheeks soon
  4. Yorkshire 'stuff' every team that they  take on (OK not very sporting but who flipping cares!)
So a short one today but by the end of the week the crickety news will be (weather permitting)  flooding in and I Lady Lainey will probably have repetitive strain injury from trying to get it all typed up.

Have a great day 

Sunday, 7 April 2013

Touch wood..I feel OK!

Well I am up, nearly dressed ( well I have had a shower) and I do not feel too bad. By yesterday afternoon  I lost count of how many hours sleep I  had, but I had begun to rally round and by 'real' bedtime I felt much better. I am assuming that I have been 'lucky' enough to contract whatever Pony Paul has been dragging into the office this week! #ifyouareillstayathome

So I will be getting picked up by Mr Funky the chauffeur to whisk me off to Headingley...............well no actually  he taken me to Enormous Dinosaurs Idiots Cricket Ground ( The Riverside) to see Durham play. It is the last day and I think that we will be home before tea, but it will be nice to be back at cricket, and made nicer by the fact that former 'Would like to be Lord Lainey' is not going this season..........because of me.........'doesn't want to go where I am' WTF get over yourself!!! If I had known this would happen I would have done it years ago. No more having to look at his red face, ripening even more in the sun.

So lets see what was happening at Yorkshire. Well what a day the bowlers had. his Royal Ryanness took 3 wickets as did Brooks and Patterson. Yorkshire made 192 without loss in their second innings and as we go into the final day it looks interesting. Wish I was going to be there cheering you all on.

Durham were in a commanding position going into the last day and Ben Stokes was playing well. Geoff Cook had said that after Stokes was sent home from the Lions tour, he 'can learn from the disciplinary issue'. Well I don't think it should be a 'can' but a 'has'. however Stokes was left out of any England team and will find it hard to make his way back. There seems to have been problem at Durham players over the years and if it is highlighted it may help up and coming players. Too much too young comes to mind.

Over in the footy as the season draws to a close

Birmingham drew 1-1 at Millwall

Leeds lost to Charlton

And the Blades drew 1-1 with Walsall. ( they are still in 5th place in the table and need to get a wriggle on )

Well off to twirl my orange curls and wait for the chauffeur. he had better not be late.

Saturday, 6 April 2013

Sick on Saturday and a cricket Saturday!!!

OH NO!!!! I have been up since 3am and am a little poorly. ( projectile vomiting more like!). I feel absolute rubbish and a soon as I post this ( you see what a trooper I am, feeling so ill but still blogging!). I am off back to my bed. I truly cannot make it to the Emirates Durham Idiots Play Ground ( or something like that!) today and am going to go back to my bed and hopefully feel better tomorrow and be able to get a day out in the (freezing) fresh air.

Well I am not too sure what was going on a Headingley yesterday but it was not my Tykes putting on runs. Running off the pitch pretty much as soon as they had run on by the sounds of it (10-4 at one point). Come on boys, just because I was in Super swanky Lady Lainey office and not gracing the hallowed ground there was no need to take your eye off the ball ( literally by the sounds of the Twitter feed).Then the dynamic Duo came in and Ballance put on 156 whilst His Royal Purpleness put on 40 ( well done both boys) and bringing the first innings total to 244.

WOW Essex are wanting to play their T20 matches at the Olympic Stadium. Now that's big! They are in talks. Apparently they regularly sell out at Chelmsford ( not a huge ground) on Friday evening T20's so would relish the opportunity to take cricket down to East London. Good luck to them it sounds like a plan!.

I have managed to get a load of washing done this morning, but since my stomach is doing the 'washing machine' impersonation I dare not venture too far and actually went into the 'boot room carrying a bucket just in case anything made a repeat performance. And yes I know way too much information, but I feel YUKKY! I am hoping that I do not have the 'lurgy' again! I was 'very not well at all ' then.

And Dame Didi now knows what 'knickergate' is all about!

off to bed now.

Friday, 5 April 2013

First F(ryan)day of the season and 'knickergate'continues

Lady Lainey doing her impersonation of Ryan, look closely and spot purple underwear

Yippety skip, not only is it F(ryan)day it is cricket too, how flipping marvellous is that? And even more flipping marvellouser(!!) is the fact that Gillespie the Gallant was truly gallant yesterday and 'retweeted' my blog which made me bally well grin from ear to ear. I know the image of 'the purple undies' will remain with me for a long time. I am wondering if Yorkshire will continue to put this in pics, a kind of 'Where's Wally'...................phewwww good job I typed that correctly!!! #justathought.

At 11.25am yesterday in Lady Laineyworkville it snowed ( I know that I had already said that I thought it would but I had been joking!). Luckily it did not hang around for long but it is still flipping freezing and I am sure that I may become an icicle on Saturday and Sunday. So I think that extra flasks of caffeine will be the order of the day and maybe a bottle of brandy!!!

So yesterday Twitter was full of Tweets from cricket fans ( including I, Lady Lainey) and everyone seems a excited as I am about the new season especially the new cricket wear by his Royal Ryanness. When I showed the 'boys' the picture from the Yorkshire CCC website Pony Paul said ' only you would have spotted a man in his undies!' Now I really don't know how to take this because:-

  1. They were very plain to see
  2. It sounds as if I look at men's bottoms a lot ( OK I may photograph cricketers posteriors!)
  3. I sound like some kind of  weirdo!
Now as we head full on into the first day of cricket I am bouncing with excitement and hope that it will be a super smashing summer so that I get a decent suntan and some decent photographs cricket action.

Also a date for your diaries, as part of the 150th birthday celebrations of Yorkshire CCC there is a service of Thanksgiving on 14th June at York Minster.

Other crickety news The ICC are bringing in the 'no ball' rule from April 30th. Good luck Finny!!!


Cold wet and windy, what is left to say apart from it's just not cricket!!!!!

Good luck to all teams braving the elements today!! But more good luck to Yorkshire 

His Royal Ryanness doing his best Lady Lainey impersonation ( he obviously know me  too well,as he is eating!!!)

Thursday, 4 April 2013

It's finally here!!!!!!!!

Yipdi flipping skip!!! it is finally here, the best day of the whole year ( well apart from my birthday). It's the start of the cricket season. Former besty county of Durham are at the Idiots Cricket ground ( or something like that) and Besty home county of Yorkshire are on the hallowed turf of Headingley..

IPL was a great start with the first bowl producing a 'Platinum Duck' very apt for I Lady Lainey.

I have also begun following lots of cricket based 'Tweeters' and am looking forward to keeping up to date all season.

It's looking good for super tyke Tim Bresnan who is hoping to be super fit for action in two weeks after jetting off to America for an elbow operation. He has also been named in the 30 man squad for the summer season for England which is a loss to my Tykey Vikings but a boost for England. At least my Tykes still have his Royal Ryanness.

Australia have also announced central contracts and some recent test players have been omitted. More on that at a later date as I am sure that 'Twitter' will be full of comments.

I am today wearing my super besty Tiara for the start of the cricket season and although I know that the 'boys' will laugh ( they are only jealous and I  know that Jo Bling will probably want to try it on). Actually by the time I have shouted at them for not having my coffee ready when I go in I doubt that they will dare to laugh.

Lots to do today in preparation of the weekend, including baking a cake ( Mr Funky can't have any as he is a 'lard ar*e' according to his doctor, well not sure that they were the exact words but I guess it was close). And then I have to get the thermals ready, Sheffield United Beanie hat ready and also lots of 'blankys' as by late afternoon on Saturday I am sure to be frozen solid.

Nothing much to report really today except to say Good Luck to Gillespie the Gallant and his boys. I cannot wait until I see you all in 3 weeks!!!.........................
.............and massive shout out to Yorkshire CCC for posting a picture of His Royal Ryanness in his purple undies on  their home page. Holy flipping mackerel it fair made my orange curls stand on end! Can you 'tweet' me were I can purchase this picture please.

That has made, what had been a horrible week for me, sooooo much better. Thank you Yorks!!!!

Woooooohoooooo I am super dooper excited!!!


Dame Didi your comment yesterday was very cheeky!

Wednesday, 3 April 2013

Lady Lainey toughens up!

Well its only one day until the biggest event in Lady Lainey's year.........yes the start of the cricket season. The flasks are all clean, the freezer is full to bursting and I am super bouncy (kind of ) happy, ( well the shine had been taken off my life slightly at the weekend). So I have only one more day in super swanky Lady Lainey office until my summer begins.( and it is bound to snow).

Well yesterday when I was not feeling too great at all, I went to do Dame Didi a favour. She asked me to take her watch to have a new battery put in, so off I trotted down to 'Goldsmith' with the said watch. it was especially crowded in there and I was being served by 'the girl' Liz who knows us both very well. After a few set backs getting everything onto the computer for the watch to be sent away. Liz looked up at me and said in a very loud voice 'So where do you get your Botox done, I am thinking of having it done myself'. The whole shop fell silent and everyone turned round to look at me.....................................now firstly let me say

  1. I HAVE NEVER had botox in my life ( why would you inject poison into your face?)
  2. If I had had it, I would ask for a refund as I still have wrinkles!
  3. I am only 21!!! why would I have botox!!!

I tried to be as diplomatic as possible, telling her that I had never had botox when really I wanted to say.....'For the love of god, grow old gracefully!.

needless to say the Dame was less than sympathetic and roared with laughter for a good 5 minutes!

Over in cricket land Michael Clarke is predicting an Australian fight when they come over here in the summer for the Ashes clash. Saying 'our bad tour does not define a squad and I'm confident we can take the fight to England'
Well good for him!. However he has been hospitalised with gastroenteritis so I think he already is having an 'ANUS horribillis'!!!!

So as all county cricketers  ( and fans) get out their beanie hats and thermals for the start for the cricket season. I wish you a wonderful Wednesday and hope that I am feeling a little bit more 'lady lainey'like soon!.

Tuesday, 2 April 2013

Trustless Tuesday

So its Tuesday and I am back to work and actually struggling to find the energy to even think about shouting at the boys. As for looking pretty, well today with dark circle under my eyes and unwashed orange curls I hardly look like a true Lady Lainey. Hopefully by tomorrow I will be getting myself back to normal. So lets draw a line under the Easter weekend.

I watched an hour of highlights of the last 5 years of IPL ( it starts again tomorrow). WOW how white were Shane Warnes teeth, and big too. And his face hardly moved a muscle. Must have been the Estee Lauder.

It is 100 days until the start of the Ashes so thats another 100 blogs from moi.

IPL starts on TV tomorrow and the cricket season starts in earnest on Thursday. And it looks like I am going on Saturday to the Riverside on my own as Mr Funky the chauffeur is going to watch Darlo play Whitley Bay!!!! ( well it takes all sorts) weather permitting he will drop me off and pick me up.

Football not great

The Mighty Whites parted company with Neil Warnock yesterday after the 2-1  home defeat to Derby. I am thinking of applying for the job myself I don't think that I could do any worse.

The Blades had a 0-0 draw at home yesterday against Carlisle

And Brum lost 2-3 to Wolves ( toooooo close to home that match!)

Maybe I will send my CV to Bramall Lane too just in case!

This is short because for once I have very little to say ( although my brain is working on overtime)
Hopefully by tomorrow normal transmission will have resumed


Monday, 1 April 2013

Life is full of surprises................

.................................and non of them good. Isn't it funny how a person that you think you know can still shock you. Cryptic????

So yesterday we went to the Railway Museum and had a jolly good day and, Sir Samuel won second place in the Easter egg hunt and got another egg for his ( and mummy's and Lady Lainey's) efforts. It was a really fantastic place ( actually it was Locomotion at Shildon part of the NRM).Lots to look at and go on. Plus for a 5 year old lots of buttons to press. We went on a steam train and wandered around Timothy Hackworths house. All a jolly good day.

Mr Funky the chauffeur came round to Tykes Towers just before tea and we all played a Toy Story game, which Mr Funky lost, so he went home!.

Good news over in  New Zealand, Jesse Ryder has released a statement following the attack on him last Thursday. He said he is 'heaps better but very tired'. Good news.

No other real cricket news. BBC website have given a county by county round up, which deals with who is on and who is out, this season, most of which if of any interest to me would be seen on these pages.

Well back to super swanky Lady Lainey office tomorrow but only  5 days until I am at cricket and back into normal life. Well what ever normal is in my life.

Which brings me back to life being full of not so pleasant surprises. Well what is that all about...........isn't it funny that after 30 years of being friends with someone, that after a few glasses of wine, they can still surprise you. And boy did my friend do that last night. So today as I prepare to close the  door as she leaves with her son, I am also preparing the way to close the door on that chapter of my life. I do not need underhand and deceitful people around me.

Short today but not a good day at Tykes Towers.