Wednesday, 31 July 2013

Durham go through

Jolly flipping well done to former besty home team of Durham who have made it to the T20 quarter finals after Glamorgan and Gloucestershire slugged it out last night. Durham were waiting for the result of this match to see if they qualified. And they di,. Pauly Paul text me last night to let me know, I had fallen asleep when I got home ( because its a hard life looking pretty for 7 hours as well as filing nails and shouting at boys). Gloucestershire had a 9 wicket win.

Lets hope that Durham take to opportunity and use it, as they have not been bringing much silverware home of late.

And talking of all things Durham, they 'loaned' out Mitchell Claydon to Kent for a month back in early June. On Sunday we were talking about the fact that he is still not back, then low and behold news filters through that he is wanting to stay there longer. Now this is odd!! He was given a new contract by Durham at the end of last season!!! and now is happy playing down in Kent!!!He had not appeared in the 1st XI at Durham this season and was relegated to playing in the 2nd's so maybe he is enjoying 'big' cricket. I fear that  super polite boy Jamie Harrison could end up jumping ship too as he is never selected for the first team.

Jimmy Anderson is saying that England are not considering a 5-0 whitewash of the Australians. Now I think that this statement should be read as

' Well we are so flipping good that all we talk about is beating the flipping Aussies and we are going to trounce them'

Well I maybe wrong but ego's are getting fluffed up in the England team ready for the 3rd test, however let me say that I think that if they use Tremlett and Panesar in the squad his prediction may be true!.
And apparently KP is 'ready' for the 3rd test. Hmmmmmm well let me see what my crystal ball says,,,,,,,,,,,,,,he will play the first innings then be crocked and sit on the balcony for the 2nd waiting to take all the adulation for the teams win, sounds about right.

Dame Didi is obviously having such fun in La belle France that she is forgetting that we have Skype! Every night I come home, log on and there is no response from her end. Loving the vino too much me thinks.

And so I must depart for the sunny climes of Lady laineyville, oh joy, I can hardly contain myself. The excitement is way too much for off I go.........

Tuesday, 30 July 2013

Lady Lainey clears out...........

.........................her wardrobe, Yes I have taken a long hard look at my wardrobe and decided to have a clear out ( could this be due to the rails bending under the weight). And now two bags of things for the charity shop have appeared in the spare bedroom. I am going to have to drop them off today or else I will be in danger of 'stealing' some of the things back out of the bag!!!

Bur holy flipping mackerel, who put half of that stuff in there and most of it has never been worn! Even if my social diary was full to bursting I would be able to find something appropriate for a Royal Garden party, Royal Ascot, a couple of polo matches as well as wearing a different outfit for super swanky Lady Lainey office for a month without repeating it. Wow that is some serious clothing habit. I have yet to start on the shoes, handbags and other accessories!

Over in the cricket world the wonderful Michael Carberry top batsman with former besty home county in the south Hampshire, hit an unbeaten 83 last night against Kent to secure them a place in the T20 quarter finals. Even though they beat my beloved Yorkshire last year I am putting my money on them this year ( OK kiss of death for them in the quarters stage I feel).
Durham are waiting with bated breath for the result of tonight's match Glamorgon v Gloudestershire to see if they make it through to quarter finals. Not to sure myself but we can but hope.

News out that David Warner will rejoin Australia next Monday for the next Ashes Test. Lets hope his array of strokes is with the bat and not his fist #shorttemper.

According to the hacks, the hard work that Chris Tremlett put in over the winter have helped to secure him a place in the 3rd Test squad. I Lady Lainey never one to rain on any ones parade would beg to differ. I personally do no think that he should be in the squad. Mark my words if he is included in the team he will not really make an impression. #famouslastwords

The current question going round is does Test cricket have a place in today's cricket set up. The five day matches are losing out to the razzmatazz of T20. I personally prefer to see a match played out over a period of days than hours, but as T20 is all about making a fast buck for the countries/counties then I can see the appeal. However last year when I went to an international T20 I was shocked and nearly ended up teetotal when the bottle of wine that cost £9 the week before had suddenly been hiked up to £15!!! Yes indeedy enough to send me searching for a bottle of Dandelion and Burdock. When clubs realise the potential of making tons of money due to no alcohol being allowed to be carried into the ground, prices go sky high.
So from a commercial point of view I can see the attraction, however from a cricket loving point of view give me the 5 day format any time.
Just to point out that the aforementioned bottle of wine was back to £9 the following Sunday however this season at The Robberside  Riverside ground the wine is now £15 a bottle all the time, good job I have a big handbag!!!

Well talking about my handbag it is time to pick it up, hoist it onto my shoulder and set off for super swanky Lady Lainey office, where I will be fighting for space in the car park with Pony Paul who has now taken delivery of his new company pimpmobile car.

Monday, 29 July 2013

Retirement for PD Bruce

Today is a happy and sad day for PD Bruce, who has one more shift to do before he retires, No more chasing 'baddies', no more having to get up for work, or stand around at 'boring footy matches for him. From now on it'll be lie ins, lots of romps in the park  and lazy days in the sun ( if it comes back out!). Have a long and happy retirement Bruce.

Someone who is getting closer to retirement, with each passing year is Pauly Paul, who kept his July 26th a secret from I Lady Lainey and Mr Funky the chauffeur. So we had no excuse to have cake, jelly and ice cream, sausage rolls and egg sandwiches yesterday at the cricket. However in honour of the belated birthday.....................

................... we went off to The Riverside yesterday to see Durham take on Derbyshire in the last  T20 match before quarter finals. Derbyshire have been playing like 'girls' over the last couple of matches and so Durham looked to be in a strong position. After Derbyshires 'one and only' Chesney Hughes took a cracking catch, it looked as if he was on form, however with a fumbled bit of fielding and a dropped catch he did not look too happy on the field. Gordon Muchall hit 66 to keep Durhams hopes of qualifying alive.Durham will go through if Glamorgan fail to beat Gloucestershire on Tuesday evening.
Final score was Durham 187-3 Derbyshire 150. Giving Durham a 37 run win.

Sadly Yorskhire were 'sunk' by Leicestershire in their final T20 match and this year will not be making an appearance at finals day. However Gillespie the Gallant is back with the squad next week which will boost moral and also get them moving in the right direction to remain at the top of Division one. #coyt

On the Ashes front James Taylor has been recalled to the squad for the 3rd Ashes test along with..........................wait for it....................Chris Tremlett ( WTF) and Monty Panesar (WTFLIPPINGF). I am not going to  be drawn into a debate on the fact that the selectors had obviously had one shandy too many when they named the last two. Maybe they just drew the names out of a hat!. Seems fair! Surprise, surprise KP has been named in the squad! even with his calf injury! no comment!!!

Over in Hungary, LH won the race BUT Baron Button certainly did put his foot down and finished in 7th position after starting at 13th. Well done Jenson, I know that you weren't on the podium (this time) but I am super sure that yo will be soon.

SO today it is back to the grind.Super swanky Lady Lainey office is calling and sadly I have to go. No peace for the wicked ( that would be the boys not moi!).

Sunday, 28 July 2013

It's raining cats and dogs here!!!!!!

RIP pin parasol arrangement 

Well I will be jolly flipping surprised if cricket is on today as it is raining like there is  no tomorrow here and the temperature has dropped considerably. The bottom of the drive her at Tykes Towers is underwater but at least my water butt is being refilled!

News that the 'identical twins' Liz Hurley and Shane Warne were at Ascot yesterday prompted me to have a glimpse at the photos. Yes as I suspected they are identical with the exception of clothes and hair!, How relieved I am that this is not a normal occurrence when involved with a man, or I may have 'morphed' into the Former Lord Lainey ( flippping heck and with my legs being the length they are too) or worse still I may have started to resemble 'Would like to be Lord Lainey'!!!!. Luckily I still look like my 'doppleganger' His Royal is this a sign.  ( yes a sign that he should cut his hair and run very fast!!!).

Today former besty home county of Durham should be taking on Derbyshire, however I am not getting ready yet!

Whoops!!!! David Warner has been up to his old tricks again, after taking a punch at the lovely Joe Root, and then being sent off to play for Australia A, It was reported that he had to be separated form South Africa A wicket keeper Thami Thsolekile! Umpires called a halt to the game twice as tempers flared. Warner is due to return to the Ashes side on Monday! Will it or won't it happen??????

James Taylor further proved that he should be in the England Ashes team with  an unbeaten 64 at hove against Australia, he reported to be on standby if KP is not fit ( well I don't think he is fit full stop).

Ricky Ponting ended his spell at Surrey saying that he has enjoyed it a lot and that he would love to keep playing cricket, however his decision to end his career see him going at what I think is  the best time.

Over at the Hungarian Grand Prix qualifying LH is in pole, with Baron button down in 13th place. The Barons Daddy celebrated his 70th birthday this weekend so if he wants to give him an extra birthday pressie then he will have to get his foot down!

And so to the picture of the day. Well this is the arrangement I made for the doorstep of Chateau Didi premier, and it has stood outside for a couple of years, but no more, as it met its untimely death yesterday.
RIP pin parasol arrangement. Now I will have to fall into another ditch whilst collecting  the 'pins' and obviously no chance of rescue from Dame Didi

Well off to find my cagoule, as I think that I may be needing it later today!!!!

Saturday, 27 July 2013

It's Sa(troy)day

As you will know by now I am never one to bow to my critics, but when besty Twitter friend The Duke of Adelaide commented yesterday about it being FRIDAY and not F(ryan)day (as it is every end of the working week,) I thought that I would dedicate today to him. So today Troy it is Sa( troy)day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And talking about his Royal Ryanness ( oh yes we were!) he was rested last night in the T20 clash against Nottinghamshire. Also the sad news came through that Jason Gillespie, top coach and top boy of the Tykes had sadly returned home to Australia for the funeral of his father Neil, who sadly passed away  on July 13th.. Our thoughts and prayers are with the Gillespie family at this sad time.

So to the score from last night is not a good one for all Tykes fans and means that we will not be dressing up this year in jolly bright colours for semi finals day or being sick with excitement on finals day  like last year. However the match ended with Yorkshire losing by 6 wickets and saw Samit Patel taking out the top order of Yorkshire cheaply, before Richard Pyrah fought back and pulled the Tykes back from 75-5 to 132-7. Sadly he fell to Patel too.
Notts qualified for T20 quarter finals and jolly good luck to them.

It will have been a sad  trip back up the M1 last night for The Vikings, but come on boys we still have Division One to take!!!! #coyt

Tomorrow I am off to see Durham Dinosaurs Dynamos play and hope that the forecast of  rain does not happen. However if Derbyshire are on their current form we might all be home at tea time after they recorded their lowest T20 score last night. They were beaten by Leicestershire by 79 runs, and  scoring only 72! The one and only Chesney Hughes only scored 5!!!

This morning I am going to do my 'bit' for charity and going to an open morning held by my former neighbours Sir Kevin and the fair Lady Hazel. They raise funds to give children Christmas presents who would otherwise go without.So as Sir Kevin's text to I Lady Lainey had the words 'bargains galore' it would be jolly flipping rude not to go!

Then I am off to Chateau Saltburn, to dip my feet in the sea, and go to Asda!!! And also try to have a decent nights sleep.

So best to get a wriggle on now, have a super Sa(troy)day.

Friday, 26 July 2013

Yipdeskip it is F(Ryan)day

Yipdeflipping skip it is F(ryan)day and the end of the working week for I, Lady Lainey, however there is much more work to be done at Tykes Towers ( if  I can be bothered).

However last night Mr Funky and I set off in the big blue tank thing and went off to The Riverside to watch former besty home county of Durham take on Leicestershire. The best part of the evening was watching the two little boys sat next to us running up and down with their coats on their heads playing 'Batman and Robin'. I wanted to join in but couldn't because

  1. I didn't have a coat with a hood
  2. I would have been ejected by the stewards
  3. Mr Funky wouldn't let me
and talking about Mr Funky the chauffeur, he is now on Twitter so I will have to be tres careful about what I say.
It was good to see Steve Harmison on the field however he was working for Sky and not for Durham, gosh his bank balance will have swelled at the end of this season, what with his Durham wage, his Sky fee AND his benefit year takings! nice job if you can get it.
So the match itself was OK.............yes really! Durham's Chris Rushworth took two consecutive wickets and we were all waiting with for the hat trick, but it never came, However when they bowled Leicester Foxes out for 119-7, Durham looked as if they would walk all over them. However the  Foxes had other ideas and with Rob Taylor taking 4-11 and being 1 run ahead at the same stage of the game, the hosts looked as if they may not be in a good position. However Ben Stokes put in a cracking performance and with an unbeaten 41, helped Durham to victory..

Also at Durham, they famously quoted that they would not be taking on an overseas player for T20 matches to save money. So I thought that with Geoff Cook out of action, and Jon Lewis stepping into his shoes, another of the back room boys ( of which there are many) would step up to be second XI  coach. How very wrong was I , they have wheeled out none other than retired,former player Neil 'Killer' Killeen. Now this begs the question, is he doing the job for the love of the county???/ I doubt it. #steveharmisonneilkilleenmoremoneywasted

So Sunday sees my Tykey Vikey in action against Leicestershire, Durham are up against Derbyshire and the one and only Chesney Hughes. I will be there weather permitting.

Sunday also see the Hungarian Grand Prix, all eyes glued to the qualifying tomorrow, which Dame Didi will miss, however by the time she is settled on the terrace of Chateau Didi Premier, with a bucket of Gros Plant she will hardly care.

And so I am off to my last day this week at Super swanky Lady Lainey office and I am getting the boys a breakfast from Mc Donalds, well they deserve a treat now and again, but if my coffee isn't ready when I get in...................................well who knows what will happen.

Thursday, 25 July 2013

Brollies Ahoy!!!!

Oh dear two things are very evident today, one is that I will need my flipping umbrella to stop the orange curls turning into a giant afro, and two, is that I don't think that my Tykey Vikings are going to make T20 Finals day today!!! Firstly it is raining but sadly it is not any cooler so although I may be having to dress for rain I am also having to dress for heat too, not an easy choice. And the my Tykes lost to Lancashire by 8 wickets! 'oh no' I cried last night ass i saw it come through on Twitter ( well it was something along those lines).

The Vikings made 124 but had a couple of run outs in their innings ( not very good planning) and then Lancashire only lost 2 wickets, taken by Adil Rafiq, and scored 127 to win.However it is all to play for in Division one.

Former besty home county of Durham are in action tonight but I Lady Lainey am not going as it is too much of a hurry after work and I have another important meeting scheduled so 'Bon Chance' to Durham.

After talking about the none selection of James Taylor after his debut last year, Quelle Surprise!!!! The selectors must have been reading my blog as it looks as if there is a chance that  he may be brought in for the 3rd test, if the 'Great Hope of England' does not pass his fitness test. Part of me want to see 'the little chap' have another crack at the England team. #timeforashakeup.

Further news on the 'shock news' from yesterday, ( well it was a flipping shock to me!) regarding Dimitri Mascarehnas's retirement. I suspected that he may go onto be a cricket pundit as he is often seen on IPL, giving his views, but the 35 year old has stated that he is moving into coaching. He is hoping to see Hampshire win a title or promotion this season before he hangs up his bat.

Last night at Tykes Towers I pottered around in the extensive grounds rearranging pots on my newly gravelled part of the gardens. I am still working on the layout of everything, but now that one part has been sorted it will make it a jolly sight easier when Mr Funky the chauffeur comes to mow the lawns, however the 'deer Park' is another matter all together!!!!!!!!!!!

And finally for this week, this will be my last mention of the Royal baby, who need some peace and quiet and time with his mummy and daddy. However yesterday evening the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge announced that his name is George Alexander Louis. How wonderful that they named their baby after my Daddy, his Royal Gorgeousness  George.

See you all tomorrow.

Wednesday, 24 July 2013

Wet Wednesday??

From the back it could be me!!!! ( the hair I mean)

Flipping heck, on my way to work yesterday the sky turned black and after I realised it wasn't the Apocalypse, I was suddenly caught in  the worst rain storm I have seen for ages. It lasted full on 40 minutes and by the tome I got into Lady Laineyworkville all the roads were flooded and I struggled to get into super swanky Lady Lainey office. Not just that but my blinking brolly was in the boot so I ended up with a curly fringe to match my hair after trying to lug my handbag up the steps to the office door and 'safety'.

I have looked at the long range weather forecast and it is looking as if it going to be like this until next Thursday. Oh joy just as I was getting used to everyone moaning about the excessive heat, now they will be complaining about the rain................except for Dame Didi and the monster children nephews who are getting set to jet off home to La Belle France and Chateau Didi Premier. Lucky blighters I have another 8 weeks until I am heading off my home land and lashings of 'President' butter, bags of Baguettes and gallons of Gros Plant!!!. Woohoo super flipping days ahead.

So today is looking grey and overcast but very warm and I am considering wandering down to Darlington Cricket club to see Durham seconds playing, most especially to keep an eye on super polite young bowler Jamie Harrison who should really be in the first team.However that will depend on the weather so I will wait until midday and then make a decision.

Oh no booohooooo, one of Lady Laineys favourite cricketers form former besty home county in the south, Hampshire is going to retire at the end of the season. The wonderful Dimitri Mascarenhas due to injury. Dimi has played for the team for 18 years and been part of a team that has picked up 5 domestic trophies.I wish him well in what ever he goes on to do and hope that everything goes well for him.

My Tykey Vikings are crossing the Pennines tonight to take Lancashire in T20 action. All I can say is #coyt.
His Royal Ryanness has been named in the squad so I am expecting super brilliant bowling from him.

The one and only Chesney Hughes has been at it again this time in T20 action, smashing  46 of 25 balls in a rain reduced match. Derbyshire went onto beat Nottinghamshire by 16 runs.

And finally, The Prince of Cambridge was unveiled last night as the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge went home from hospital. All three looked very well and very very happy. A great moment in history and a wonderful family.

Tuesday, 23 July 2013

It's a boy!

HURRAH!!! At 4.24pm (UK time) the baby arrived, a  bouncing little boy, the whole media world was watching and waiting for the news of his safe arrival.
I am sure that all the excitement of a cricket test win and Le Tour helped to bring on the Duchess's labour! All the excitement so she wanted some herself!.
A wonderful day and wonderful news.

However talking about cricket, Australian fast bowler James Pattinson has been ruled out of the remaining tests due to a stress fracture in his lower back. He is now hoping to regain full fitness for the Australian summer.

Gloucestershire have not been having fun wither with their bowler Jack Taylor being unable to bowl for the remainder of the season after being reported for 'illegal bowling action' on two separate occasions over the last 12 months. He will be allowed to bat and his having his bowling assessed.

The pressure by the media and cricket hacks is mounting on Joe Root, as he is now being touted as the next England captain, for the love of god, let the young man play the game he loves to the best of his ability and lets get this summers cricket out of the way before you start weighing him down with possible future hopes.

I personally know some one who was taken on by a county, labelled as the next county captain and England captain and instead went off the rails and only played cricket by day so that he could go wild at night. The result being that he now no longer has any place in cricket at all. Let Joe Root develop at his own rate.

Chris Froome was making headline news yesterday ( and rightly so). Apart form his monumental win in Le tour, he has shown to be a great cyclists but also a polite and 'humble' young man. Something that some cricketers should take on board me thinks.

A note on Tykes Towers, after a very fraught couple of days the fence has finally been erected, and now I can get on with completing the work in the rest of the extensive grounds of Tykes Towers. That flip for that.

So as I sign off for today, we are all hoping that we get a peep of the new Prince, however if The Duches of Cambridge has any sense she will stay in the hospital for another day.

Monday, 22 July 2013

What a day!!

OMG what a day I had yesterday, starting at 8am by the landscaper arriving, YIPPEEEE I shouted, quickly followed by a few expletives ( yes sometimes I Lady Lainey use a swear word), when he told me he couldn't do my work but would come tomorrow ( that would be today!). So I set about killing the time until 11am when the test match started by doing jolly flipping mundane things, like washing and housework.

I tuned into the test match and then tuned out again as it became quite boring at times. Then I had a little nap.

Besty home county of Yorkshire were in T20 action against Nottinghamshire ( former home of his Royal Ryanness). The match saw Samit Patel star with the bat and the ball and saw my Tykes lose by 25 runs, however his Royal Ryanness took a wicket but never got to bat. Yorkshire need to up the ante a bit on the T20 front HOWEVER considering that they were in division 2 last year and are currently leading division 1 this year I think that the Gillespie effect is doing wonders for the team.

Former besty home team of Durham were down at Derbyshire and won by 4 wickets with Ben Stokes being the shining star on this occasion ( makes up for blotting his copy book earlier in the year).

I woke to find that England were still making quite hard work of the cricket, then the breakthrough came and they emerged as the winners ( which had been obvious since Friday) however credit where credit is due they played brilliantly.

After all this had taken place it was time for I Lady Lainey to sit down in front of the TV and watching LE Tour, having watched the cyclist race through my 'home land' for 3 weeks, it was Le Grande Finale as the race ends in Paris. If you have never seen this then you have missed a treat and it really is wonderful. Even more wonderful was that Chris Froome won Le Tour and made Lady Lainey cry with his wonderful speech from the podium.

Mark Cavendish was sadly pipped to the post in the race for the line, to come in 3rd on the last stage.

Paris was alive  with 'son et lumiere' I flipping wish that I had been there! It was amazing

However MP's in England have been quick to say that children should avoid competitive sport because it can put them off exercise for life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
These people sit on their backsides all day working out how they can fiddle there expenses so that they can cream off more money, the chances of them doing any exercise is nil, even though they are probably claiming for gym membership.
If more children were encouraged to take part in a competitive sport there would be less obesity in the UK.
Do these people seriously think about what they are saying???????????

Yesterday was a proud day to be British. Two young men have shone this weekend in sport both have dreamt  of what they did since they were children and both loved every minute of their achievement.

Joe Root and Chris Froome take a flipping bow.

Sunday, 21 July 2013

So it's Sunday........................

........................and I, Lady Lainey am trying to work out what happened yesterday as it was all going on!
Firstly Lord Christophe  was out of bed before 9am yesterday.

So firstly Lord Christophe had a great birthday and loved all his presents and then there was cricket action at Lords.

So Top Tykes Root and Bresnan took to the field and started 'The Great Yorkshire show'. Batting well both of them put on runs and frustrated the Australians. However sadly Bresnan fell after a shared partnership of 99.
Bell took the field and Root steadily edged towards his first century at Lords and when he did the crowd went wild.At 22years 202 days Root became the youngest centurion in an ashes test at Lords. A wonderful moment was when his brother Billy came to give him a drink and a change of gloves and the brothers hugged each other. I can tell you I had goose pimples and tears in my eyes. A wonderful moment between siblings and viewed by the whole cricket loving world.

Joe batted on during the day a did Bell who fell to a shot that he hoped would add 6 to his score, but instead saw him walking back to the pavilion. At the close of play Root was on 178 not out. He received a standing ovation as he entered the long room and very well deserved it was too.

Root smiled his way through his innings and when interviewed and asked why he smiled so much, his reply was along the lines of, why be nervous I have dreamt about this since I was a little boy and am now savouring every moment. WOW what an attitude!
Other news from  the dressing room is that KP the greatest chance that England has is now crocked! Yes a calf injury means that he will miss the rest of this test and some people are worrying that he will miss the third test. I know one person who is wondering why he was included at all!.

Will it all be over by tea today? Well we will have to see if the Australians have a rabbit to pull out of the bag.

Yorkshire were able to clear up their match at Derbyshire and head home after a great win by 113 runs. His Royal Ryanness taking a handful of wickets to seal the match.The county came away with 24pts which took them back to the top of the table. #gettingexciting.

BABY WATCH... now in full madness, as the papers are producing 'Royal Baby' booklets and the photographers outside St Mary's Paddington have been topping up their tans whilst waiting for the arrival. Will it be today????

Which is what I keep saying about the landscaper, will it be today that he comes to transform the extensive grounds of Tykes Towers? well only 20 minutes to find out!

Saturday, 20 July 2013

Eldest Monster child nephew turns 18!

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday Lord Christophe
Cos you have a title too!!!

Happy 18th Birthday to Lord Christophe of Warmsley Manor. He is now  18 and  a Lord and now he is ( nearly) as super important as I, Lady Lainey.

After going out for a 'gutbash' last night ( well I kept to my strict diet,' The See food diet') Christophe opened his pressies and we all had some diet pop and a jolly good laugh.
Which is very different from the evening when he was hanging over the railings at Saltburn seafront being a tad poorly after 10 pints of 'white lightening; ( OK slight exaggeration but you get the drift). No one told me that this was expected in 'Auntie' duties!!

And very unlike the day when we were waiting for him to 'bungee jump' into the world. That was the longest day of my life, probably felt like the longest week of Dame Didi's life.
Even Auntie Betty Boop and Uncle  Frankie the Greatest  Gibson were nearly jumping out of their skins every time the phone rang.

I was pleased to see that Dame Didi HAD NOT made a blue teddy cake the aftermath of that was evident for day! ( I will leave that to your imagination), I also have not cooked any rice as Christophe has previously been quite scathing about my cooking of it. 'Is this rice out of date!'

I could tell a million stories about the last 18 years in the life of Lord Christophe..................but I won't

So now Lord Christophe you have to go and qualify as an architect and design your besty most beautiful, funniest auntie on the whole world her house in France.

Good luck in your A'level results and we are all rooting for you.

Have a wonderful 18th birthday and remember that you may be 18 now but you still have to hold my hand when we go out!!!

Oh yes and in case anyone is in Paris, they are opening the 'beach' by the Seine again ( 12th year I think!). The beach will be open for the remainder of the summer giving Parisians and tourists the chance to chill out.

Friday, 19 July 2013

Hooray It is F(ryan) day

How quickly they come around and how quickly I am using up my photos of his Royal Ryanness, I guess I will just have to take some more! ( such a chore!)

So its F(ryan)day, day 2 of the 2nd Test and after the first 40 minutes of play yesterday I think that all England fans were heading for the bar to drown their sorrows, ( except me and Job the Jolly who were totally engrossed in our Test Match Special game and we both had to drive home). Cook and Root opened and then after 12 runs Cook went back to the Pavilion for an early shower, soon followed by Joe Root ( 6) courtesy of Watson and Harris. The only man that could possibly save England  (KP) swaggered out to bat and after  2 runs he trudged back up the steps, at least he got first chance at the lunch spread and also could watch his dismissal on the lunchtime news.

A shock moment came when Jonny Bairstow was given out and then was back in again, they are obviously trying to jazz up the test and make it like T20 instead of dancing girls they let the  players do a form of the 'Hokey Cokey'!. Jonny went onto 67 with Trott putting on 58.

However credit where credit is due, Ian bell ( not a favourite with I Lady Lainey)  put on a marvellous 109 before being bowled by Smith ( no Hokey Cokey for him).

England closed on the first day on  289-7.

The Queen had turned out to meet the players, she was so impressed that at midday she went home.

The Duke of Adelaide and I were having a chat on Twitter and then I get a tongue lashing off Pauly Paul for not being behind England. Well as I am flipping well part French ( the part with the wine in my veins..........which would be all of me) I can support who I chuffing well like. So  I think  I will lend my support to Italy, who are a force to re reckoned with and  they have top coach Joe Scuderi, so keep your eyes on them in future.

Also over in Chesterfield my Tykes were playing like proper Vikings,  Lees made his  double century which was a top knock from the boy and made I Lady Lainey whoop like a mad thing in super swanky Lady Lainey office, I scared the flipping life out of Jobbers! Alex  finished the innings on 275 not out.

Derbyshire went in to bat and the one and only Chesney Hughes went early courtesy of his Royal Ryanness, after a brief fight back Derbyshire then went down like skittle and the session closed on day two with Yorkshire on an outstanding 617-5 and Derbyshire on 64-5.

Its all happening and I can't even be there!

In Le Tour, Chris Froome has extended his lead despite racking up some penalty points, for taking food late in stage 18! well you know the French and food! Everything stops for lunch!
Today will see the cyclists  ( and Dame Didi) peddling over 204km ( the Dames tricycle is getting a bashing I can tell you), from Bourg d'Oisan to Le Grand-Bornand, over 65km of this is a climb in the Alps!

Hope that Dame Didi is back in time for dinner!

In horse racing yesterday a new jockey took to the circuit, 19 year old Jamie Piggott. name sound familiar, yes he is the youngest son of Lester. really he is a 'Pigglet'.

And finally, I Lady Lainey  got published ( sort of ) yesterday , check out

That really made my day, flipping fame at last!

Thursday, 18 July 2013


We're all Yorkshire aren't we? Well yesterday if you weren't with Yorkshire then you missed a flipping treat.My Tykes were taking on Derbyshire in the 'town' of the crooked spire and boy did they make a day of it.After losing Lyth for an early 10 runs Lees and Jacques  came in to perform somethng of a miracle for a partnership when they set a new 2nd wicket partnership record. scoring a magnificent of 311 with Lees being not out on 171 and Jacques falling at 139. the previous record had been 305 and to say that it was a glorious days cricket is an understatement. Well done to those boys who pulled out all the stops and really made a day of it. Yorkshire closed the day on 367-2

Former besty home county of Durham are not at home this week as they are having a 'has beens' pop concert/ Blue, Five and Atomic Kitten to name some of the 'stars' that they have attracted. Enough said.

Today is the start of the 2nd test and  apparently now tickets for this and further test are nearly sold out, well wouldn't . Cook is apparently ready for tough decisions. Well it's not tough to exclude Finn in favour of Bresnan so make the switch!.


Even the Queen has been having her say about the immanent arrival of the new Royal baby, telling some school children that she hopes it arrives before she goes on her holidays.
Zara Tindall has also decided to not return to Horse Riding events until the birth of her baby next year, although she had originally said that she would continue competing she has qualified for the events she wants to take place in and is going to put her feet up and watch numerous repeats of 'Bargain Hunt' and 'Murder she Wrote' whilst knitting baby bootees. ( yeah right!)


Only two days until Count Christophe celebrates his birthday with a bottle of white lightening and 20 woodbines, and only one day until we go out for a grand evening out. i think I might be more excited than him!.

Pony Paul is off to London today to a meeting so that leaves Job the Jolly and I to play our Test Match Cricket game whilst listening to the  real thing on't wireless.
I am hoping that that pony's journey to London will help him to 'think up' a new motto for himself as yesterdays version was a tad rude

' When you've seen me bare, nothing can compare'.

Luckily I have NEVER seen him bare, so my options are still open!

Do you wonder what goes on in super swanky Lady lainey office?????

Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Worse on Wednesday

I am soooo flipping tired that I need matchsticks to keep my yes open this morning, it wasn't the noise that kept me awake last night it was ................well I don't really know what kept me awake but at 2.30am I was still lying in my pit waiting for the sandman to do his stuff

I am also a bit flipping cross as I have no broadband at home and it is making the writing of my blog tres difficult, also Talk Talk are not helpful  and as such I am now looking for a new phone and broadband supplier.

So to the sporty world and the things that have been happening since I last put fingers to keyboard.

In cricket the war of words in the lead up to the 2nd test begins as Adam Gilchrist former top wicketkeeper for Australia, has said that England rely too heavily on Jimmy Anderson ( good job they aren't relying on Steven Finn #upsydaisy). He is saying that the Australians should target the other bowlers. Woohooo its all hotting up and should be a good few days to come.

Dans Le Tour de France ( that's French you know!) Rui Costa won stage 16 but Count Chris of Froome retains his lead. Today is the individual time trials which take place between  Embrun and Chorges. Look out for Australian ( is he the underdog?) Cadel Evans.

The pressie for Count Christophe arrived yesterday and I am jolly flipping impressed  with it, now he will be as super important as I Lady Lainey.

Strange news worth reporting is that a village in Norway which is nestled in a valley and gets no direct sunlight between September and March, will be looking forward to it this year. 3 large mirrors have been hoisted into place and will reflect light down to the village of  Rjukan, I wish someone would direct sunshine from the equator onto Tykes Towers between September and March, it can be flipping grim up north.


Well still no Prince or Princes of Cambridge, however the Duchess of Cornwall hinted that they are hoping to have 'a bundle of joy by the weekend'. In this heat I bet Catherine is too.

Well hopefully I will be here tomorrow, otherwise I will be chuffing cross.

Tuesday, 16 July 2013

Tired Tuesday

So  reading through the papers yesterday regarding Englands win, I  Lady Lainey could clearly see that once again the hacks were betting on an England win. My view was slightly different

  1. Jimmy Anderson was NOT the only bowler on the field on Sunday
  2. Steven Finn was not up to the job ( despite the hype
  3. KP is not the man to save England
  4. Ashton Agar is a serious threat to the England bowlers ( and batsman if he keeps improving)
  5. Ian Bell would make a great spitting image puppet!
However England have retained the same team for the second test so no place for Top Tyke Tim Bresnan.
And so today we all calm down and get ourselves ready for Thursday.

Sad news form the Ireland camp as Former captain Trent Johnson has announced that he will retire in December. Good luck to him what ever he does.

The wonderful Michael Carberry put on a ton last night to see Hampshire  go well on day one of their match against Kent. #coyc
Over in Le tour doping has become the main topic of conversation with Chris Froome being brought into the foray, he is dismayed that  the questions are still being asked, and to be honest   I , however I can see that after the Lance Armstrong episode this point was going to continue to rear its ugly head.
Today see the race starting at Vaison - La -Romaine ( like the lettuce) to Gap a ride of 168 km. Keep an eye on 22 year old Frenchman Thibot Pinot ( like the Grigio) who made his debut in 2012.

Dame Didi is organising a special 'gut bash' for Friday evening as Saturday is the 18th birthday of Count Christophe who is going to be 'lording' it over his friends when he gets his pressies on Saturday.

 I am not flipping sure what is going on at the Industrial Estate of Lady laineyville, what I flipping well do know is that I do not appreciate being woken up at 0.45am by a constant high pitch whistling that went on for over an hour. I suspect it is coming from the work place of Mr Funky and Pauly Paul, however usually I get woken up by very loud metallic clangs, so the change of noise was a bit freaky to say the least. I am super blinking tired today and you all know who is going to suffer for this..............yes the boys, there may be extra shouting in the office until I can get my head down, have 40 winks and then resume normal business ( nail filing and looking pretty).

So without further ado I am off to fluff up my orange curls, put on a frock and my Jimmy Choos and trot off to give the boys their early morning wake up call. ( where's my flipping b****y coffee)

Monday, 15 July 2013


...................the sun is shining ( 6.13am) and I have to go to work, I cannot believe that the weekend is over, it was only a short time since I was sitting at Chester Le Street watching my Tykes on Friday evening, and here I am up, showered and getting ready to go to super swanky Lady Lainey office.

However over the last five days we have seen Australia, who were kicked and trodden into the mud by the British press, rise like a phoenix from the 'Ashes' and give England a good old run for their money. Now yesterday England thought ( again) that they would be swilling champagne by lunch, but with another fantastic last wicket stand the Australians dug in, and once again lunch was delayed in the event of a result. Obviously the umpires then had tummy rumbles, so they went to eat. Australia were only 20 runs short of beating England. Sadly after lunch they put on only  5 runs before falling to the bowling of Jimmy Anderson.

So firstly let me say jolly flipping well done to England who were super confident that they were going to roll the Aussies over. Secondly well done Lady Lainey who spotted a couple of months ago that things would not go exactly how England thought, and finally well done to Australia for giving England a good old fight.

I have to say I can't wait for Thursday!

After the sad news yesterday about the death of Jason Gillespies dad, the Tykes went off to Chesterfield to take on Derbyshire in a subdued mood and without their beloved coach. Yorkshire needed a win, and boy did they do it and by 6 runs I can only say that I bet that was a great match

There were needed 35 runs from the  final two overs, his Royal Ryanness was excellent under pressure but only managed to let 3 through , before former besty home county of Durham bowler, now proving to be a top Tyke, Liam Plunkett stepped up, to make it a thrilling end to the day. The boys dedicated their win to the Gillespie family. Top boys.

Elsewhere ( Old Trafford) former besty home county of Durham were taking on Lancashire who opened and scored 170-5. Not a bad score to beat???? Well  Kabir Ali removed both of the opening Durham batsmen, and even with Scott Borthwick putting on 62 it was obvious that they were on a hiding to nothing. They finished their 20 overs on 145-5.

Over in Le Tour Chris Froome continued his ride to glory by winning the longest stage of the race and now having over a 4 minute lead. This week is going to be exciting.

And so today as the sun is shining brightly and I am heading to LadyLaineyworkville, I hope that you all  have a great day.

Sunday, 14 July 2013

Housework!!! On Bastille Day!!!!

Bonjour tout le monde, welcome to Bastille day when I Lady Lainey will be returning to my French roots and celebrating ................

OK really today I  have to knuckle down and do some housework, after doing as little as possible due to living in '24' land I am now ( sadly) back in the real world and need to tackle all the jobs that I had put on hold.

However this is boring and I want to be doing fun stuff!!!!!! but full stuff  will have to wait whilst I do washing, ironing etc. Then I can whistle 'Le Marseillaise'  stuff a baguette down my gullet and wash it down with a bucket of 'Gros Plant'. Well I could if I had some, so I guess that I will have to make do with Champagne!

Yesterday at Trent Bridge the Australians were chasing a target of 311, which would be a jolly flipping record if they do it, They were going well at 161-3, but the final hour of the game took Michael Clarke, Steven Smith and Phil Hughes out of the equation, which left Australia on  174-6 at the close of play.

I kind of think that it may be exciting today and we know that the minute that Ashton Agar hits the crease the bowlers will be in for the kill.

Today other cricket action takes place. T20 fun for besty home county of Yorkshire who have travelled down to Derbyshire and former besty home county of Durham who have travelled to Lancashire. Fingers crossed for a Yorkshire win.

Durham has issued no further statements on the health of coach Geoff Cook who suffered a heart attack last month . JJ Lewis is still running the show, and to be honest he isn't doing too bad a job.

Over at Le Tour, Chris Froome retained the yellow jersey ( which must be slightly stinky by now!), although Matteo Trentin won stage 14, the race to Lyon.

And today on Bastille Day  stage 15 will start in Givors and end in Mont Ventoux a staggering 242.5km ride.Today is the day when all the French riders will be really blinking well going for it and this year it ends on one of the most  feared and respected climbs, Mont Ventoux. Keep an eye on Pierre Rollond.

Bon Chance to you all


Well the papers are stating that the Duchess of Cambridge is now one day over her due date ( like they would know!!!), and speculating that she is at her parents home ( because that makes sense to race her back to London when she goes into labour!!). When in actual fact no one out side of Royal and Middleton circles knows when the baby is due. And we all know that babies come when they are good and ready.

So without further ado I am off to rifle through the fridge and see what I have got 'frenchy' to eat, think I will make a 'tart au citron' for later.

Sad news which has just come through , is that yesterday Jason Gillespie's father suffered a heart attack and died. Jason parents had been staying here on holiday when this happened. Jason will not be with the team today at chesterfield, so #coyt do it right!. Our thoughts are with the Gillespie family at this shattering time.

Bon Journee

Saturday, 13 July 2013

New Fence Saturday

Nice legs!!!!

Now last night was one of the highlights in the diary of I, Lady Lainey. The Durham v Yorkshire T20 match and for the first time in years there was no rain!, however it was brought to my attention that I appear to be slightly biased and very vocal about cricket.It was noted that I

  1. Talk about his Royal Ryanness with increasing regularity
  2.  do not like many England player unless they are Tykes
  3.  favour any players that have worn a Yorkshire shirt.
So for the person ( Pauly Paul) who brought this to my attention I can only say........................

.........................TOUGH FLIPPING TITTY,  I love Yorkshire.

SO to the match. Well would you 'Adam and Eve' it His Royal Ryanness  was only fielding in serious touching distance of I Lady Lainey, although being the shy, retiring type that I am, I DID NOT touch. Tempting though it was.

And there was only a flipping streaker shortly after Yorkshire went into bat, well let me tell you it has blinking well put me right off chipolatas that's for sure. however after the carry on with louts in the hospitality during the Hampshire game and my consequent letter of complaint to Durham regarding stewarding, it took 6 blinking security men to eject the said streaker from the ground. Not that he was making a fuss, but they were obviously putting all their Ashes Stewards training to good use ( not). And even the 'fat controller' got involved. Glad to see that they were taking their duties seriously.

Over at the Ashes the main focus was on whether or not Stuart Broad should have walked, so I am saying nothing about this  other than of course KP had to have his say on the matter, enough said! And so all that is left is to state that  the score on the end of day two was England 326-6.

I will say that I have come to the conclusion that most Umpiring in cricket is not great, they mostly rely on the third umpire, and if the umpires make a decision they usually reverse this within 3 seconds. Why not do away with them and do everything electronically! 

So why the title I can hear you all asking???? Well today Miles the Landscaper is coming to erect a new fence in the extensive grounds of Tykes Towers, which will stop trespassers and also make the grounds look super splendid.

What will I Lady Lainey be doing whilst all this is on going? well I will probably be on the garage roof 'acrypolling' ( my finger nails if previous experience is anything to go by).
And also today is going to be jolly flipping hot too, so best to put on some sunscreen.

'Oh no my stalker is here again!'

Friday, 12 July 2013

Lady Lainey's real F(Ryan)day

Wooohoooo!!!!!!!!!!! today really is F(ryan)day, today I get to see his Royal purple pants Ryanness in the real as I am off to The Riverside after work to see my Tykey Vikings take on Durham Dinosaurs  Dynomo's.

Besty tiara ready                                       YES

Ticket ready                                              YES

Camera with 26x zoom ready                     YES

Ready for work                                          NO!!!

Now therein lies the rub, I have to kill 7 hours in super swanky Lady lainey office before I get to see the great man himself ( and of course Gillespie the Gallant). I suppose the fact that Sir Simon of Staines top boss man is paying a visit to the office today will kill a bit of time..............but I am going to be so super excited that I am hardly going to be able to concentrate on work.................

..................which brings me to more cricket news. As you are aware we have managed to tune in to TMS on't office wireless and listen to a load of old buffoons chattering on about cake and 'when I played cricket int Yorkshire wi a stick and a gobstopper'. However yesterday I have to say there were a lot of rather pregnant pauses which were all caused by a 19 year old Australian d├ębutante.

Ashton Agar, had been brought into the team after being in England playing for Henley and being part of a group of Australians that came over to Hampshire to be under the wing of Giles White. he got called up for the  Australian squad and did not bowl to well on day one. However coming into bat to number 11 yesterday he broke all kind of records. the wonderful Glenn McGrath was in the commentary box of TMS and watched as his highest total as a number 11 batsman was smashed leaving only Tino Best's  ( former Tyke) top score of 95 in the 11 spot, to break. And boy did Ashton do it. He was on 98 and soooo very close to his century when Stuart Broad ( back from breaking a nail the day before ) came into bowl. Sadly Ashton was caught but not before he made the record books AND made the England team sit up and take notice. He left the Australians with a lead of 65.

England went into bat and closed the day on 80-2. Now this is test match cricket at it's best.

Jolly well done Ashton and lovely to see his family in the crowd to witness his amazing innings.

Over in Le  Tour Mark Cavendish has laughed off the urine episode but other things are creeping up to bite him on his bottom, as he is dropped by the team that were taking him on after Le Tour. It hasn't been a good week for him really. Especially as he was pipped to the post at Fougeres.

So now as I deal with the orange curls and get myself ready to set off to super swanky Lady Lainey office, I am looking forward to a full and top day of cricket.

have a yorker of a day everyone, because I think that I am going to!.

Thursday, 11 July 2013

Testing Thursday

Well the Test started yesterday with lots of hype and lots of 'dares'. apparently 'freddie' Flintoff will run naked around Lords if Australia win two tests, now much as I would like to see Australia do this ( to prove critics wrong) I have nearly regurgitated my weetabix at the thought of Freddie in the buff, now Gillespie the Gallant or his Royal Ryanness ( even funnier if he wore his purple pants)  would be OK, however they would never stoop to such media alerting tactics #freddienotbeeninpapersforawhile

So at 10.50am yesterday I fiddled about with t'wireless in the office and low and behold I suddenly tuned into TMS, so a great day in the office listening to the constant commentary of cricket. So at 11.00am it all kicked off and Cook and Root took to the field.  I was tres busy looking pretty and spinning round in my chair ( as is the norm), and before I had even had time to start filing my nails Cook was out for 13!. And it got worse, before I could even gulp down my coffee they had saddled up the show pony and the much hyped and ( not so long) awaited return of KP happened. Well so much hype  and he made 14. Jonny (Damian  Lewis) Bairstow put on 37 and England were all out for 215.
So the Australians took to the field. close of play 75-4.
The papers are full of 'wonderful England' Ozzie bashing. Well this is the first innings and stranger things have happened............ was occurring simultaneously at The Riverside were Durham were taking on Derbyshire.As they had been all out for 1132, Durham took their second innings to 331 and Derbyshire went back in to bat. Rushworth and Stokes cut through the batting order and although it looked as if the boys form The Peak District would be heading home last night, they hung on to start today on 181-7. I think that  we know how this is going to end, or do we????

Over in Le Tour Chris Froome extending his lead in stage 11 with an impressive effort in the time trials. A strange event occurred when a spectator threw  urine at Mark Cavendish. Now I think that the language barrier was the problem here. Mark was asked if he wanted a drink, and he replied 'oui'.

So today I am wending my way on a dull and overcast morning to super swanky Lady Lainey office to listen to cricket and look super pretty.

The weather is very hot and not comfortable for  being in offices. The best place to flipping well be is on a lounger in the garden, quaffing copious amounts of champers whilst turning a pretty shade of red ( or in my case walnut brown).
Sadly tiaras do not buy themselves and as they are tres spendy I have to go to sit in an office for 7 hours a day to afford them
However on the up side, the boys would miss me so much if I wasn't there. ( 'eh yes of course we would' Job the Jolly)

Wednesday, 10 July 2013

Weird Wednesday

Well news of the weather here in the North of blighty is ...................................well weird t say the least, it is very grey and over cast, no sunshine, but over bearingly hot, I think we may have a storm today even though the weather forecast says that we won't. Flipping hope so as it is 6.00am and I am very very hot.

Today is the start of the first Ashes test and Captain Cook is ready for battle . England are favourites to win, but it is really anyone's game. Lets see how the first day goes. I couldn't be bothered to read what 'Freddie' Flintoff had to say about the match as predictably he would be singing the praises of his 'besty' KP and obviously England would be nowhere without the said person.

Ricky Ponting has also followed in the lead of Glenn McGrath by saying that Australia should not be dismissed,

Do they know something that we don't???

The Tyky Vikings were in action last night in a T20 against Leicestershire. Wow, Jackie Brooks the headband warrior showed what he is made of taking 5-21 and giving yorkshire their first win in this season of T20's Roll on Friday.

Over at The Riverside former besty home county of Durham took down Derbyshire in a day ( well very nearly!). Derbyshire started the day 15-1 then  were 113 all out, Chris Rushworth saw them off with figures of 6-64.

Over in La Belle France the 100th tour is motoring ( OK cycling) on and Mark Cavendish was reported to be the cause of a bit of a crash. Something which he strenuously denied.

Today the tour is going to be cycling through some wonderful places as they start at Avranches and end at Mont St Michel ( tres belle). Tomorrow they start in Fougeres, which I know personally as it took me 300hours to drive thre a couple of years ago with Dame Didi's instructions ( 'lets drive there on every farm track available!'). So its a flipping big 'Allez  Froomey' and lets get back on the bikes.

So as I am gazing out of the window I am trying to decide what to wear for super swanky Lady Lainey office, its a toughy!

And we are still on baby watch as the little blighter is showing no signs of appearing.

Until tomorrow, when I will fill you in on all the exciting 'stuff'

Tuesday, 9 July 2013

Its going to be 'scorchio'

The sun has got his hat on
Hip Hip Hip Hooray
The sun has got his hat on
And Lady Lainey has to go to work!

On goodness me , we are basking in glorious sunshine and heatwave type temperatures! And I have been sitting in super swanky Lady Lainey office perspiring in a not so Lady like manner.

After being away for the weekend there has been lots of 'catching up' to do on Twitter and last night I tried to do just that, in the end I gave it up as a bad job and watched The Kerry Packer Story on BBC 4. Funny to see Jeff Thomson. I was lucky enough to meet him a couple of years ago and he didn't look at all the same!!!! I suppose nearly 40 years is a long time!

Lady Lainey's second favourite Aussie bowler ever, Glenn McGrath has waded into the Australia debacle, saying that he believes that Australia can come in as the underdogs and win the Urn. Well I have been flipping well saying this for ages, he obviously has been reading my blog! however 'Sir Loin of Beef' has said that England will win 10-0 in a series whitewash,. Well let battle commence!

Former besty home county of Durham started against Derbyshire yesterday and were  253 all out. Derbyshire bowler Footitt was on form with figures of  6-53. Derbyshire closed overnight on 15-1 with Chris Rushworth ( daddy of pasha the dog) taking that wicket.


Baby watch has now stepped up as the arrival of the royal baby gets even closer, even though no one really knows when it is due. Apparently a helicopter is on standby to take Prince William as soon as he gets the call, however to take the pressure off The Duchess of Cambridge, Buckingham Palace announced yesterday that  Zara Philips and Mike Tindall are to have a baby which is due in the New Year. Wow, the patter of tiny feet  is taking off in Royal circles. Who will be next................I am betting its not The Duchess of Cornwall!!

Well time to head off to Lady Lainey workville and see what the 'little monkeys' got up to when I went home last night, I just know that my office will be strewn with papers!

Monday, 8 July 2013

A wonderful weekend but now it's Monday

Well on the flipping hottest weekend of the year, Dame Didi and I motored on down to Oxfordshire and had a blinking fab old time, driving through winding lanes, old villages, wandering around Asda and drinking copious amounts of wine, The other things that we did which were of more importance were pay our respects to the 41 men who were killed in an RAF plane crash. The service of remembrance took place in the tiny church of Toot Baldon whose grounds overlook the field in which the plane crashed.

We also got to meet up with cousin from the south Rt Hon Mel Robbo and the fair Lady Sandra. We caught up on all the news of the  family and saw the pictures of the new addition to the family of Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo who now has 4 little 'Robbers' and very lovely they are too ( well they will take after their daddy so we all know what they will be like!).

It was also a super sporty weekend and we only saw super smiley Chris Froome get the yellow jersey on Saturday and missed everything else, due to

  1. drinking lots of wine on Saturday
  2. being stuck in a 'tin box' most of yesterday afternoon on the M1 ( the road with blue signs and no 'rond-ponts')
  3. Stuffing a burger down our gullets at Tibshelf
  4. Being totally 'cream crackered 'when we got home, couldn't even catch up on Twitter!
So I have had a quick catch up with what happened whilst I was on my mini break

Well in France after suffering a series of full on attacks in stage 9 of Le Tour Chris Froome managed to hang on to the yellow jersey ( hope they washed it over night). He lost most of his team mates early on, but he soldered on to retain his prestigious shirt. Today and tomorrow are a rest day ( I should flipping well think so0 and tomorrow stage ) is St Gildas- des -Bois to St Malo (197 km).

Big count down now to the start of the first Ashes test, which starts on Wednesday. Not putting any bets on that's for sure!!!.

Missed all the super crickety T20 action were Yorks and Lancs drew on Friday evening, and Durham lost by 8 wickets to Northampton.

Now I am on count down to Friday evening when my Tykes are at The Riverside. No doubt it will rain as it has done for the past 3 years, but as long as I get to see my Tykey Vikings at some point I will be a happy Lady Lainey.

And apparently a Scot won Wimbledon.

Saturday, 6 July 2013

Abingdons Terrible Air crash

6th July 1965

Today is a tale from the boundary of my family, The Robinsons and the families of the 41men killed in what was described as the worst RAF peacetime plane crash.

My uncle  M/AQM Joseph W Robinson was one of the men killed.

Every year on  the nearest Sunday to the date of the crash a service is held at the tiny church of St Lawrence  in Toot Baldon Oxfordshire. The church looks out over the field where the plane came down.

Tomorrow my sister and I  along with our cousin Mel Robinson ( hopefully) will attend the service on Sunday 7th July 11am.

At the rising of the sun and at its going down,
We remember them.

Friday, 5 July 2013

Thank flip it's F(ryan)day

I am so super flipping glad that it is F(ryan)day, it has been a very busy week here at Tykes Towers and it doesn't look to be getting any quieter at the weekend.

There is very little to report from the cricket world, apart from  the fact the Australians say that Joe Root could be a target for sledging  during the Ashes series. Well he isn't fat, he isn't married and he doesn't have any children, so lets see how inventive they are. Sad to say that if they put all their efforts into their cricket they may be on to a near winning team, leave the sledging out!

Tim Bresnan has signed a new contract for Yorskhire which sees him there until 2016. He has been with the club for over 10 years and made 125 first class matches, taken 353 wickets and scored 3628 runs. Top Tyke that Tim!!!

Things are not going so well in F1 were drivers are threatening to strike before the German Grand Prix if there are still the tyre problems that plagued the British Grand Prix last weekend. There have been numerous blow out with Pirelli tyres and as imagined this is causing concern with drivers. I hope that this gets settled soon and that safety is taken as the first priority.

In Le Tour I Lady Lainey am full of admiration for Geraint Thomas the double Olympic gold medallist who  is riding in the Tour DESPITE fracturing his pelvis in the big crash on Saturday!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Now I, Lady Lainey have had a fractured pelvis and I tell you, I couldn't even walk 5 days after it happened let alone get on a blinking bike and ride up and down hills or round hair pin bends. This man is raving bonkers and should be stopped, surely he is doing his body more harm than good!!!!

Mark Cavendish flipping well fell off his bike yesterday ( maybe he needs to borrow Dame Didi's tricycle) and only chuffing well ripped his shirt and got all dirty. I bet he had gravel rash too #jollyflippingpainful.

Today the stage is from Montpellier - Albi 205 km. There are two climbs in this stage but this is still a stage for the sprinters, who will want to be getting all the flipping glory , but with the mountain stages soon coming up they will be down the pecking order.

Well I am off to super swanky Lady Lainey office to shout at boys, drink pints of extra strong coffee, oh yes and Dame Didi is coming to stay this evening before we set off on our journey to the depths of the south of Blighty.......................................TBC

Thursday, 4 July 2013

All go at Tykes Towers

Well Wednesday was wet, then it was hot and steamy, then it was grey and overcast, BUT it was full on from about 8am, when I 'aquired' some new doors, however they were about 50 miles from The Towers. So I asked the 1st Former Lord Didi if he could collect them for me. And he said yes, so I am typing this like a little mad thing as he is arriving in the hour to deliver them. Whoop di flipping all I have to do is get them hung.

Over in Cricket land, the 'favourite' player of I Lady Lainey has been having a little moan to the press. Yes Compton has been saying that he was given a 'fair crack' at his England place. Oh dear, well let me say that with his handful of ducks in his opening spot, I think that he did have a fair crack at it and failed. However other players who haven't had as many chances at their England place include James Taylor who now seems to have disappeared into oblivion.

Dame Didi has been racing home from work to get on her tricycle and hurray along with the riders on 'Le tour'. Mark Cavendish had a good day yesterday as he surged to a fifth stage win. It was his first stage win of this tour but his 24th in all. Go Cavo.

Over at Wimbledon the 'Brit' Andy Murray was in action against a rather gorgeous Spaniard Fernando Verdasco. In what was described as a thrilling five set match. Murray took the match. However Verdasco will always win hands down in the 'eye candy' stakes #worthasecondglance

 Yesterday at Chateau Saltburn things had been going 'squeak' in the garden as Dame Didi spotted a mouse by the back fence. This is one of the things that Dame Didi 'no likey' and hopefully it was just having a little look out and not moving in for good.

Well this is a super short scribble today, as I have to prepare for former brother in law to arrive and then it will be time to head off to super swanky Lady Lainey office to look pretty and shout at boys. Well someone has to do it!

Wednesday, 3 July 2013

Another wet Wednesday

well it's 6.00am and it is pouring down with rain! And this is not just normal rain, its the type od rain that stops I, Lady Lainey from tripping off to work in my Jimmy Choos. It was lashing down at 5.15am when I woke up and is not getting any better! What's a Lady to do, well it looks like my Hunters may be making another appearance

Well over in the crazy world of cricket, Australia have fired their warning shot across Englands bows, they were in top form against Worcestershire were Shane Watson made a 94 ball century. This is the final warm up match before the first ashes Test. I always had a sneaking suspicion about the Australians and to be honest they do look to be finding thier form. Lets see what the end of the week brings.

England weren't doing too badly wither with Top Tyke Tim Bresnan hitting a century against Essex. It's all to play for!!

Ireland are hosting The Netherland in the Intercontinental Cup.The Netherlands put on a late spurt but Ireland still lead them by 252 runs, going into day three.

When I got back to Tykes Towers last night I had received a letter form Durham CCC, regarding the 'tome' that I had scribbled to them about 'loutish' behaviour at the Hampshire/ Durham match.

Well blow me down!!! As a Gold member I am valued and as such my complaint has been noted and will be looked into further. Also the Chief Steward ( The Fat Controller) has been made aware and will look into it. No doubt with his arms folded, chatting to his mate and eyeing up the 'Shergar' burger van. #otherwords,notdoingabloodythingaboutit


Well the hacks are all out in force at St Mary's Paddington, all the step ;adders are in place ready for the arrival of the Royal baby. It all smacks of 'towels on sun loungers' in Benidorm, as they are all fighting for 'front row'. Meanwhile the Duchess of Cambridge is making the most of her time out of the limelight and is no doubt watching all the series of '24' to kill the time. ( OK I doubt that very much but that's what I would be doing!).

HARK!!!! it is 6.12am and the sound of lashing rain has ceased. Oh joy!!! I will now have to dive under the bed to retrieve my Jimmy Choos.........

...................and then totter off to super swanky Lady Lainey office

Tuesday, 2 July 2013

Happy 1st Birthday to Lady Lainey's blog

Happy birthday to my blog
Happy birthday to my blog
Happy birthday Tales from The Boundary
Except the ones about the frog (family)!


Flipping Heck!!!!!!!! It is only the flipping first birthday of 'Tales from the Boundary' can you believe it is one whole flipping year since I started to write down my thoughts on my life, cricket,frogs and slugs (YUKKY!), The Blades,Sean Bean, Jack Bauer/Kiefer Suthrland, champagne swilling etc and look at  it now, lots of avid readers ( Dame Didi), lots of doggy pics and of course the continuing series of photos 'Cricketers Posteriors'.

Well,  you have seen lots of cricketers posteriors ( due to my usual position at cricket..............right on the boundary). You have been on my bi-annual sojourn to La Belle France,  (who will forget 'commando spying' on the neighbours!) as well as celebrating my super sonic birthday and Christmas. There have been highs and lows, thrills and fact have a random flick through the last years blogs to see for yourself.

We have been introduced to the wonderful dogs of Durham Constabulary K9 unit, and the dogs that have retired. Check out more and maybe even send a few pennies to the retired doggies to keep them in bones and toys in their old age.
So what will the next year hold for I, Lady Lainey.....................well who blinking well knows, but you can be sure of one will all be the first to hear about it.

I am still working jolly flipping hard in Lady Lainey office and shouting regularly at the boys. They have no idea how lucky they are to have me looking pretty in the office every day!

My curls are still orange, but I no longer have my 'afro'. Sometimes my curls are more orange than others though! ( vosene ahoy)

And best of all I am still loving watching and 'reporting' on my besty cricket teams, most especially my Tykey Vikings' who had better start winning again very soon so that I can sing the praises of Gillespie the Gallant.
Actually you have been given a rare insight into my life (is it real or is it imaginary?), and I hope that you have enjoyed it.

So as I raise a glass of chilled orange juice ( well I do have to drive to super swanky Lady Lainey office) I hope that you will continue reading as we go into year 2!.

Monday, 1 July 2013

sneezy still need new hayfever pill!

Well I won't be sniffing any flowers today as I am still suffering really badly from hay fever, yesterday I was once again confined to the house and tried to do some housework. All was good until Mr Funky turned up at the door with a massive bunch of elderflowers, which set me off again and I ended up laid on the sofa watching Jack Bauer getting more and more ill with a virulent form of CJD. And I thought my hayfever was bad!!! I tell you being around him is a nightmare.

Durham had travelled to the seaside and were having their T20 match at Scarbella against besty home county of Yorkshire.Gale and Lyth set up Yorkshire ( it appeared) by putting on 51, but due to the fact that I Lady Lainey was not in my usual position ( being dive bombed by albatrosses!) they seemed to lose their way a little. Liam Plunket came in  made a swift 30 pushing the score to 146-7 in their 20 overs.

Durham were without their Collingwood ( see I told you he would be injured !) as he had hurt his thumb! ( I think that he doesn't like T20 as he was injured last season too). However they went on to win in a 'thrilling' last over, 147-6. OK well lets see what 12th July brings

Some good news  though Scotland beat Kenya, in the first of two, World Cup league matches for qualification to the World Cup.

And horror of horrors, Compton is convinced that he is going to return to the England squad despite Joe Root moving up the batting order. #DUCK  #DUCK  #DUCK

Over at the British Grand Prix it was a bit of a 'do'. Four drivers suffered blow outs of their Pirelli Tyres. One of the drivers being LH. Well he did saying winning was not enough and he didn't win! Rosberg won in what has been described as a 'dramatic GP'.
Baron Button came in 13th place which was jolly unlucky for him!
What can a girl say?

In the 100th  Le Tour  after the thrills and spills of the opening day in Corsica, yesterday went without any notable problems. Britain, David Millar moved to second overall place , with Chris Froome coming home in the peloton, after breaking clear in the final climb of the day before they reached Ajaccio. More thirlls and spills today? well I will be tuned into ITV4 when I get home.

So now after popping another pill to stop my nose running and hopefully keep the sneezing at bay, I am off to start the working week at Super swanky Lady Lainey office. And now that i am down to two boys to shout at, they will be really in for it today!!  only joking!