Saturday, 30 November 2013

Whoops slept in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Flipping heck I woke up about 5 minutes ago ( for the third time, first 12.45am, then 3.30am,then 7.45am!).
I am so jolly tired but had decided last night that I would go shopping in Lady Laineyville first thing and then could be busy at home for the rest of the day.

I am so sleepy I don't know where to start. Well I suppose I should look first at the England tour match against  CA Chairmans XI well England were all out for 212, with some very shabby run scoring from the boys. Carberry didn't make double figures ( although he is always a 10 in Dame Didi's book).
 Root didn't really shine either!!!!!

 The Chairmans XI have declared on  254.

Further topics on offer in Austalia, well the home team have said that they will not use Jonathan Trott's illness as a sledging topic...........................................................well in my books all of that statement is wrong in so many ways!!!!! I actually am appalled and disgusted that they would actually issue a statement regarding this.

Also Steve Waugh former Australian captain is reported to have said that David Warner crossed the line with his comments about Trott. Well I still feel that Trott should never have been allowed to fly out with the team and  be subjected to more stress.

Time now to let this whole unhappy incident  go and allow 'Trotty' to get the rest and treatment that he needs, to hopefully bring him back into the cricketing arena again next season.

So lets get down to football,

Where Birmingham  are away to Barnsley

The Mighty Whites are away to  Blackburn

The Blades are away to Leyton Orient.

And I am away to do the flipping shopping!

Until tomorrow!!!!!

Friday, 29 November 2013

Finally it's F(ryan)day

Yes it is the last F(ryan)day of November or Movember as it has become known in fund raising terms. lots of men growing a moustache for charity, which this year includes Top Durham bowler Chris Rushworth, who along with various friends and family makes up team Rushworth.And its not too late to donate so hurry along to

So today as Job the Jolly is trying hard to use up his holidays I am left in the office with Pony Paul and Trill Boy who will do their utmost to try my patience today and no amount of coaxing with bacon butties or doughnuts will sway me from finally clearing month end, archiving and any other things that happen to be left on my desk!!! Plus after Wednesdays debacle at 'Fat Fighters' I CANNOT have doughnuts or bacon butties.

And it looks in Australia that it may well be champagne all round as Tim Bresnan further pushed his claim for a test place. As I told yesterday Top Tyke Tim had scored a half century in the match against Queensland 2nd XI. Well  he only went and took 4-31. This  has put a super big smile on my face and I have everything crossed that Tim will get selected.

There is still lots of speculation in the news re 'Little Joey Root' and his moving back up the batting ranks. To be honest I do not want to speculate at how they will reshuffle the team. I just flipping well hope that they play better than in the last test!!!!

And in the ICC T20 world cup qualifiers, it was a serious  battle yesterday as Scotland took on The Netherlands. However they suffered an eight wicket defeat and are now out of the running. However  jolly well done to The Netherlands who are a good team and jolly nice boys too ( having met them in Leeds/ Bradford airport where we all shared 'an area' for a couple of hours).

So it is F(ryan)day and  after a very busy week for me, with work in super swanky Lady Lainey office, doing a spot of 'networking' ( make that begging) on behalf of 'The Taking Steps Project' in Hampshire, I am ready  for 4.30pm, when I can come back to LT Towers II. Kick off my Jimmy Choos and crack open a bottle of bubbly whilst watching rubbish on TV.

Have a super Friday and roll on the weekend.

Thursday, 28 November 2013

Thursday child has far to go..............................

........................and so has Lady Lainey. After going to 'Fat Fighter' last night I am now only 1/2lb lighter than when I started. Yes I had managed to put on quite a lot of weight last week. I cannot believe it! however after getting off the scales at the class it went a bit like this....

New super skinny  FatFighters  lady  'So Fatty Robinson do you know why you put on weight'

Fatty Robinson  'Errhhh maybe what I have been eating'

New super skinny Fat Fighters lady  ' Ohhhhh has your husband been treating you to meals out?'  

murmurs around the group, and much head nodding

Fatty Robinson  ' Err  no my Husband and I are divorced'

New super skinny Fat Fighters lady  ' oh dear that is always a trigger for weight gain'  

nods her head sympathetically

Fatty Robinson ' well maybe but I have been divorced  3 years!'

new super skinny Fat Fighters lady in a sharp tone  'I SEE!!!! well maybe you should stick to your points more carefully'

All women in the class now looking at me as though I am a mass murderer. two move their chairs along in case my weight gain is contagious

Fatty Robinson comes home and vows to do better next week..............................and then has large glass of wine and big slab of Xmas cake that was not supposed to be eaten UNTIL Xmas!!!

So over in Australia The English Performance Programme were playing a match against Queensland 2nd XI and to the delight of I,Lady Lainey Top Tyke Tim Bresnan was declared fit to play ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and only went and hit an unbeaten 57!!!!!!!! Go that Tykey boy!!!!
The EPP made 376-9.

Here's hoping that Tim may get a chance to shine in future tests.

In the ICC T20 World cup qualifiers Scotland are one win away from getting though. however in doing this they beat Italy who are coached by Joe Scudari. Joe is super top bloke who has been having a great time over in Dubai and always responds to Lady Lainey when she tweets him.
Very sad that Italy got knocked out!!!!

Scotland take on The Netherlands today.

Next season will see former besty team in the south Hampshire, celebrating their 150th year. In preparation for this they have unveiled a new club badge and dropped the name 'Royals' from their one day side. So what are they going to be called...........well we will have to wait and see.

Well it is that time of the day again when I have to set off on the A1 to super swanky Lady Lainey office. I really hope it is going to be a good day and that the boys have not brought in any 'sweeties' . I have to try to lose the weight that I have gained or face the wrath of the class next week!!!!

So this is I,Fatty Robinson logging off until tomorrow.

Wednesday, 27 November 2013

Lady Lainey starts planning

Yes indeedy doody the countdown is now on until the start of the 2014 cricket season. I did not however have time to work it out last night as I was jolly busy doing very important Lady Lainey things, like having a massive gut bash round at my friend Jolanta's house and then coming home and going to bed!! So I will no doubt do it today when I head into Super Swanky Lady Lainey office.

The one date that is firmly etched into my mind is Sunday May 4th when my Tykes come to the wilds of the north to right the wrongs of Scarbados last season!! Flipping heck I think I will be hiding from Daddy Rushworth that day in case I get pelted with stale Yorkshire puddings!!!

Reports out from Durham CCC state that coach Geoff Cook is 100% and ready for the coming season. Well after suffering a massive heart attack last season, I personally would have taken it slowly. Cook has stated that cricket is his life, however we all know that life is short, and sometimes health and well being should take precedence over work

Luckily my trip home to La belle France is not interfering too much with the games at the start of the season, so I can go away with Dame Didi to Chateau Didi II, and swill loads of Gros Plant safe in the knowledge that I am not missing heaps of cricket. I do however expect to be kept up to date on all this that are happening whist I am away!!! ( hint hint Mr R)

So back to cricket now! Down under the players from both sides will be  urged to calm down before the start of the Adelaide test. In what was described as 'a bad tempered' opening test, where Michael Clarke was fined for  an obscenity, both sides are being urged to play the game in the true sense. As gentlemen, hmmm I will keep my thoughts well and truly to myself on that topic!!!

Yesterday was a busy day doing things that help to push the Christmas Spirit home. As you know I have been talking about the 'Taking Steps Project' which is a charity based in Hampshire and set up to help, men, woman, children and pets affected by Domestic Violence. Yesterday the lovely staff at  'Cotton Graphics' in Dummer, Hampshire very kindly donated some Xmas stockings to the children's Christmas party.  Many thanks to all the staff for their kind donation.
 This follows on from the very kind donation by Crown Coffee, of Newbury. They sent coffee, tea and biscuits to the charity for the open day.
I am constantly amazed that even in these hard economic times, businesses will help in some way.
Thank you again to everyone concerned.

And talking about Christmas spirit ( no not the alcohol kind, but there is some 'Mountgay' rum in my kitchen that keeps calling out to me!!). I am finally hoping this weekend to put up the Xmas decorations. Now who will be turning on the lights this year??????.........................yep probably me again!

Tuesday, 26 November 2013

the Big Day arrives!

Firstly before I type anything else, I would like to send ‘get well wishes’ to Jonathan Trott, who has left the Ashes Tour and returned to England to take a break from cricket for the foreseeable future. This has been put down to a’stress related illness’. This is a sad loss for the team, but if the powers that be, have know about this as claimed, then why was he included in the squad. He could have been getting rest and treatment and not in Australia being the whipping boy.

I read a lot on Twitter yesterday about the stress life of an International cricketer, and I am not knocking that they work and train hard, however every single one of us works hard ( sometimes 7 days a week for months on end without a break). Soldiers out on tours of duty work hard in very difficult conditions. Life in general is very stressful for everyone. I think that it was wrong to send him to Australia with the squad and subject him to more stress.

So wishing him a speedy recovery and hope that next season sees him fit and well.

Ben Stokes is being tipped to take Trotts place in the squad. Hmmmmm, well it is to be hoped that he had learnt a lesson earlier in the year when he was sent home from the Lions Tour for disciplinary reason. if he is selected I wish him the best of luck. He was lucky enough to be given a second chance.

Shane Warne has once again put his voice to backing some unsportsmanly behaviour by Australia. There was trouble at the crease between Anderson and Clarke which now seems to be overshadowing the Trott saga.

My thoughts????? Well Warne ought to be doing what he does best..........................putting his make up on and escorting Ms Hurley to her numerous public appearances  #noplasticsurgeryinvolved!

And now to  next season…………….today is the day that the fixtures come out. I am so flipping super excited. ( my life gets boring in the winter as you can tell!). I cannot wait to see where and when my Tykes are playing and also when the big ‘local Derby’ is. Oh roll on 9.30am.!!!!!

Scotland  beat Denmark in the ICC T20 World Cup qualifiers to get through to the play off s,good luck to the boys and hope that they play well.

Well yesterday in super swanky Lady Lainey office it was flipping freezing. No heating over the weekend!!! However to cheer me up, at lunchtime ‘Trill Boy’ went out and bought me an advent calendar!!!! It was a Rupert Bear calendar too. It is fabulous and I can’t wait for 1st December. However it pales into insignificance to the Sunderland ‘Lager’ advent calendar. That was tremendous!!!!!!

I went to see the new baby last night. 'Which baby?' I hear you asking. well my little friend Peggy the border terrier who 'works' in the local cycle shop has got a new brother. Micky the Border terrier. He is super gorgeous and a tiny bundle of terror. After 'tiddling' on my shoe in excitement he then went on to having a tug of war with the sleeve of my fleece whilst growling very loudly. he is very very funny. However Peggy is not so sure , so she sat on my knee watching the little monster wearing himself out.

Well time and tide wait for no Lady so I am off to the freezing depths of super swanky need my blanky, Lady Lainey office.

A bientot!

Monday, 25 November 2013

Not Monday again!

I don't know where the weekend goes!. Work hard in super swanky Lady Lainey office all week waiting for Friday, race home in super swanky Lady Lainey limo to have a wild old time and then wake up and its Monday!!! And wake up at 4am thinking that you need to tune into cricket, only to remember too late that England lost!

Oh well I read a couple of chapters of my book an now am showered and ready to head off to the freezing cave that is my place of work!.

Well the full reports of England's loss do not look good. A war of words has erupted between Alistair Cook and David Warner, after Warner branded Trott 'poor and weak' and stated that England's batsmen had 'scared eyes'. Cook claimed that these words were 'disrespectful'. Well you know what? I know what disrespectful is, its sending texts to your countrymen whilst playing under the banner of another country. Make of that what you will. #myopiniononly

Even the 'WAG's' have taken a battering form the Australian press, with the wives and girlfriends of the Australians looking impeccably turned out, whilst KP's wife looked as if she had just dropped the children off at school. I know that its not a battle of clothes and style but even the girls need to up their game in the war of words.

Over in the ICC T20 World Cup qualifiers, Ireland made it through after beating Hong Kong, whilst Scotland scraped through after beating Denmark.

Ireland have gone form strength to strength under the coaching of Phil Simmons and have won five of their six qualifying matches. Afghanistan have also qualified in their group. Its all to play for.

It is now just over 24 hours until the 2014 fixtures are posted! I for one am getting super excited and cannot wait to see when My Tykes are taking on champions of the world Durham. I have already bought my new diary ready for an spending tomorrow evening filling in the blank pages from April to September. I hope that they post the 2nd XI fixtures soon too so that I can book some time off to go to Darlington and cheer the boys on.

Finally after a quick trip to Tesco yesterday I felt positively over dressed. I was in jeans and hoodie and trainers, however as I wandered around the fridges, I bumped into a woman out shopping in a 'onesie' and with very evident 'bedhead'. The remnants of the night befores make up was still obvious as was the fact that she was only wearing one false eyelash, Why oh why oh why????? If you can get out of bed, get properly dressed!!!!

Sunday, 24 November 2013

Well that showed us!!!

I am very late with the blog this morning as I have been listening to the Test in bed. And Australia absolutely thrashed England. Rain stopped play too and they still wrapped it up before close of play.

So here is Lady Lainey's post mortem.

Well Cook made 65, with KP and little Joey Root hitting 26 each. Mitchell Johnson took the bulk of the wickets for Australia and I think that England need to up their game. As Michael Vaughan said, winning one game is not winning the Ashes ( except if you are England and then MV would be celebrating already).

England now need to look towards Adelaide and look closely at the team. Hard for me to say this but they  may  have to omit Carbs!!!! Yes really!!!! bring him back at Perth. Also bring in Bairstow for Prior, he can make runs.

So the final score was  Australia won by 381 runs!!!!

I am totally tired out after entertaining mad friend Nikki yesterday afternoon. Top result though as I am going to stay at her house after Christmas and I can have a bath!!!!!!!!!!! wooohooo super excited, packing my loofer already.

That will be three baths this year!!!! ( actually I am planning on having at least 6 baths when I go to the Copthorne at Christmas) #makingthemostofit

So other sporty news in brief.

Well The Mighty Whites won at home to Boro

And Birmingham drew at home to  Blackpool

And the Blades won 1-0 away to Bristol.   #COYB!!!

at least some teams are winning.

Well got to get a wriggle on as Dame Didi is coming over, she said early so it could be imminent!!

I have to do my creative bit to wrap a christmas pressie.

BREAKING NEWS!!!!! I have lost the lid that goes on my coffee machine!!!! which is a disaster!!!! I will not have coffee on tap today!!!! I have looked in the dishwasher,(not there). Looked in the cupboards ( not there) I actually have no idea in which 'safe place' it may be hiding!!!

Its going to be a long day!!

Saturday, 23 November 2013

Australia's day?

well after all the excitement from England's complete collapse yesterday, I was in bed super early so that I could get up to listen to them demolishing Australia. Hmmmm well when I woke up at 2.30am  it was not looking ( or sounding like that). Australia were racking up the runs and England even had little Joey Root having a go at bowling.

Australia declared at 407-7 with  Warner and Clarke both hitting century s ( 124 & 113).Even Haddin who was down the batting order hit more than an England player. .

England have gone back into bat and lost Carbs already. in the words of the great Glenn McGrath

"It's the worst start possible for England. Carberry thought he had it covered, he was in behind it. But, it's gone between his legs and on to the stumps."

I wish  now that I did have Sky as Gillespie the Gallant is commentating with 3 Englishmen!!! I bet that is some commentary, However as we all know 'Big Jase' is in fact a Tyke and a top Tyke at that!

There is not really much to be said about Englands performance except that all the over confidence ( as often seen) has not done them well. And its true to say that the Australians have obviously been putting a lot of work in to training since the summer. However it is only the first test.

They can all go back to their hotel now and watch re runs of 'Skippy'!!!

In the ICC T20 qualifiers over in the UAE, Scotland beat the Netherlands and Ireland beat Uganda. My friend in Dubai emailed to say that they are over run with cricket and it is not fun!!!!! WTF!!!! Does she not know a good thing when it is on her doorstep. To me that would be heaven!!!!.

So my prediction for the first test is that England should fight and lose and then pull their flipping socks up in time for the next test.

Oh yes and the good news is that most counties are releasing next seasons fixtures next week. For me it will be not so great as I will see the matches that i will miss when I am La Belle France for Le pacque. However I think that I know someone who will keep me well informed with what is going on.

Hope you are recovering form 'man flu' too!!!

Well it is a short one today as I have guests arriving and need to get ready ( wash the flipping birds nest for starters) and as Englands antics were so woeful I sort of think that it is best to end it there.

Friday, 22 November 2013

Test Match F(Ryan)day

Well today has it all ( so far), it is F(ryan)day and it is Test Match, we have a cricketers posterior and it is 5.36am UK time and I have been listening to the cricket since 3.45am!! Yes indeedy, something woke me up and made me put on t'wireless, and just in time to hear KP given out!!!! And it didn't stop there. Bell came in and before he could open his mouth to speak he was out. Root came in, Prior came in  and was out for a 'golden duck'. Root was out, Swann was out and then Broad got boo'ed as he came in. And then it was tea!!!!! For goodness sake.

So how did this all pan out score wise? Well England lost 6 wickets for 9 runs. which meant that the scoring was tres poor to say the least. So here it is in glorious monochrome. ( updated now as more wickets tumbled after tea)

Cook  13
Carberry 40 ( top knock from the boy!)
Trott 10
Pieterson 18
Bell 5 ( not alot to talk about there!! but sure he will try)
Root 2 (WTF!!!)
Prior 0
Broad 20 ( he'll be rested for the next test!)
Swann 0
Tremlett 8
Anderson 0

Yes a cracking performance from the Australians which  I think has done what needed to be done, which is to silence all the cricket punditss with their 5-0 to England scores. Yes I know it is early days but with this very poor show of batting England need to up the game a lot!!!

And then England were all out  for 136, meaning they were 159 runs behind. ( approx 6am UK time)

Australia are currently in batting!

Oh dear me, this has hardly set me up for a great day at super swanky Lady Lainey office!!!

So what plans for the weekend. Well my friend Y Bird is coming over tomorrow to borrow a Tuxedo to go to a murder mystery party. Dame Didi is calling over on Sunday and tonight I am going to crack open a bottle of wine and watch French films!!


And then get up at stupid o'clock to see what is happening down under!

Thursday, 21 November 2013

Test Thursday

And so it began...............with KP being hailed the best England player ever ( but he ain't even English and what about Sir Loin of Beef????). Prior was declared fit to keep wicket.
Australia won the toss and decided to bat. Stuart Broad took 4 wickets ( as of 6.13am UK time) and Australia are currently  201-6.

Little Joey Root has been dropped down to 6th spot with the wonderful Michael Carberry opening with Cook., and of course Bell is in there too.

Geoff Boycott declared that it was a good batting pitch, but I have to say that I forgot to put on 't 'wireless' last night as I had put an extra duvet on the bed and was asleep in no time. So had to get up and listen this morning and also read about what had happened whilst I was in the flipping land of nod.

Sad to hear that the home fans booed Stuart Broad when he took to the field, I, Lady Lainey do not think that this is cricket and although not a super huge Broad fan, think that this will only serve to fire him up, which in fact it did!.

So the first day is nearly over and it is all to play for. by tomorrow morning, we should be getting more interesting reading ( and writing)

Some quick news from Bramall Lane, the youth team played last night in their FA Youth Cup, and put 9 goals past Worcester City!!! Yes it was 9-0 to the 'Little Blades'. Flipping heck  that was some match. They will now taking on Bolton

News from the Towers is that I didn't manage to get the decorations out of the garage but will be dong this, this week at some point.

Sad news that Lord Christophe has thrown the towel in at Uni. Can't believe he didn't see it through until Xmas. However he thinks he knows what he is doing and once again, time will tell.The othermans grass is always greener!!!!

And so with torrential rain lashing down outside and the Orange afro, looking more like a birdsnest every day, I am donning my thermals and heading off down the A1 to super swanky Lady Lainey office, to see what excitement today holds. Well after yesterdays 'pub quiz', balloon art and Test Match game, what on earth is there left to do............................................maybe some work!!!!

Wednesday, 20 November 2013

Another wet Wednesday

I haven't even peeped out of the window but judging from the sounds of the cars going down the road I know that it is wet and I can hear the rain. Yes peeped is flipping pouring down! Miserable!!!

I am now dreaming about sunshine and heat and days watching cricket. well at least tonight I can go to sleep listening to the 'wireless' and hearing what is going on over in Australia. Where they boast about sunshine and no snow and all the things that I Lady Lainey wish I had on tap.

After the horrible health scare of cousin Robbo Middle and trying to sell his Ashes tickets, it is all sorted now and he wants to thank everyone for helping to do this. Most especially Rob Morris and Chris Rushworth and of course moi!!!

Over in super sunny Australia, KP has announced that he wants to play cricket until 2016. Oh joy!!!! you are all going to be bored to death with me 'KP Bashing' as Pauly Paul noted yesterday. The thing is if KP played cricket AND kept his trap shut, I wouldn't be too bothered about him. but he is can't do one without the other.

he has also been talking about the text row ( good to bring that up again). Stating that it 'nearly ruined my career' well it didn't get you any fans KP. And I suppose this is all to gain our sympathy. Lets move swiftly on as I feel a real rant coming on.

Scotland didn't have a good day yesterday as their hopes for qualifying for the ICC T20 world cup were dented by a loss to Kenya.It was the Scots third defeat and face Papua New Guinea on Thursday

Holy flipping mackerel, I am typing this whilst a gale is blowing outside, the curtains are billowing out like 'ghosties' and it sounds 'wild' out there.................shall I just crawl back under the duvet?? best not so I will get on.

Things are changing here at LT Towers II daily. Firstly I am managing to get 'jobs' done, which is a huge relief as I was beginning to think that I would be living with the decor etc until I put the house up for sale to go home to France ( getting closer by the minute). This weekend I am tackling the 'under the stairs cupboard' which doesn't sound too taxing until you see the junk that is hoarded in there.

I am also getting out the Xmas decorations to 'bling' up the house ready for Pere noel. on 30th november he will be making a visit to Durham CCC so pop down and get your lists in I know I will be

1. Sir Sean of Bean

2.Eric Cantona

3. His Royal Ryanness

4......................................................well you get the drift, might as well be super hopeful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, 19 November 2013

Test Talk

There is a constant rush of 'Test ' talk in the newspapers today. The 'usual suspects' (eg Hussein, Bumble et all ) are sooo confident that England are going to be the strongest side they are putting it in print, however Ricky Ponting has stated that the Australians will win 3-1. Strong words and a  prediction from Pontng that the British press do not like.

Other test talk is that they are still hanging on until the last minute to see if Prior is fit to play. now as I see it, he played one warm up match  and then was crocked. So was he fit to go out to Australia in the first place?

Oh dear, as I have stated often in this blog, Twitter is a great social media tool, but for Kevin Pieterson it is the only way that he can say what he wants. This is due to his 'fans' being able to back him up and make his 'tough talk' seem viable. He took to Twitter yesterday to hit back at Australian newspapers who stated that ' he is so arrogant not even his own team like him'.
  Hahahahaha buy that journo a drink!!! What a cracking statement. KP arrogant????? His own team don't like him????? South Africa love him!!!!!!

He hit back in the most childish of terms by stating' I would have loved a Sydney front one has heard of Brisbane outside of OZ'. To which the paper responded with the headline 'KP loves himself but not this boring city'. How I am laughing, he is a total idiot to rise to the taunts, but obviously on the advice of Piers Morgan, and all of Liberty X that any publicity is better than no publicity, he cannot keep his trap shut.

Other crickety news in the ICC T20 qualifiers, Scotland won their first match against Nepal, not a particularly high scoring match but it sends Scotland into the next match on a high.

Well super swanky Lady Lainey office was super freezing yesterday and luckily I had remembered to put on my thermals. Lets see if today is any warmer.

LT Towers II was the home of entertaining last night as I  opened the door to Daddy Rushworth and Pasha. We enjoyed treats ( well Pasha did and she knew where they were hidden) and coffee.  Hopefully the new acquisition with keep them both very busy for a couple of weeks ( or more?).

And finally it is only now a couple of days until the start of the first test, where I lady Lainey go to sleep with Geoff Boycott ( OMG!!!!)  I love listening to the cricket  on the 'wireless'. tired and cranky Lady Lainey towards the end of the week I think

Oh well off to negotiate the A1, so until tomorrow

Bon Journee!

Monday, 18 November 2013

Dismal Monday

It is cold dark and wet this morning here at LT Towers II although the scene above is what we are expecting to wake up to before the end of the week!!! For the love of god!! Please no snow. I can cope with most things but snow is a no no!!! It is OK for Dame Didi now that she has had snow tyres fitted on the Dame Didi Daimler. Mind you she needs them living out  in the wastes of North Yorkshire and having to go up and down a very steep valley to get to Chateau Saltburn.I am hoping that the weather forecasters have got it jolly well wrong and we are actually going to have a freak heatwave!!! What happened to global warming,?????I think it bypasssed the North of Blighty.

So over in Australia where it is considerably warmer ( and the Duke of Adelaide is cleaning out the pool) the countdown to the first test is on. James Anderson has backed Jonny Bairstow to keep wicket in the event that Prior is not fit ( so that means he won't be!) Bairstow did well in the warm up match taking seven catches. However they are leaving it until the last minute to make a decision.

It is also reported that Tremlet has been given the nod for a place in the team on Thursday well as I have often said he shouldn't be with the squad and I doubt that he will shock the cricket world if he plays!

Stuart Broad has been chatting to Nasser Hussein ( I bet that was interesting) and saying that all the war of words in the papers in Australia has fired him up even more. well that's OK then as we know that he will be 'crocked' soon and  will have plenty of time on his hands to read the papers.

In the ICC  World T20 qualifier Ireland nudged out UAE in a thrilling five run win over the hosts. Ireland have gone form strength to strength under the leadership of coach Simmons and here's hoping that they continue.

Now that the birthday bash is over for another year, it is time to think about the great Xmas bash in Sheffield. I have the Xmas jumper, I have the champagne, I have the  hotel booked, all I need now is the stamina! Yes I am totally exhausted after a fun filled weekend with Dame Didi and I now have to go to super swanky ( freezing cold) Lady Lainey office and take on the boys!

'Trill boy' has got his Xmas jumper ( he very kindly sent me a picture of it, it is XXX rated and not at all like the super Xmas pudding on Lady Laineys jumper but what did I expcect?????

Sunday, 17 November 2013

Super late this morning

Oh yes I had a flipping lie in, well actually every time I went to get up the room went super 'spinny' so I had to lie down again, I think it must have been the pasta arrabiatta I had for my dinner!!!

Well what a great day Dame Didi and I had yesterday. We went out on  PUBLIC TRANSPORT!!!! Yes we went on a bus!!!! to Durham and did a spot of shopping before it was time to wend out way up to the Cathedral for the start of Lumiere. It was flipping amazing. If you have never seen Durham Cathedral in the 'real' it is a stunning place but to see it all lit up last night was magical.
However trying to get back down to the city centre was not quite the same. It was chaos and me and the Dame had to have a 'sniff ' out of our hip flasks on the way back down ( actually I saw her take a flipping hefty glug out of hers).

We then went and took some treats to the Durham Police Dog handlers who were in the Market square. PD Frank and PD Louie were in attendance and came to see the Dame and I . PD Frank liked Dame Didi so much that he whipped her with his tail!!   Several times!!! Thank  you to @durhampoliceK9.

Other fabby doggy news is that Harry Nesbitt  @SpanielHarry now has a new niece, her name is Purdy and she is beautiful. you can catch up with her  on Twitter @SummerHollett.
Harry thought that I when I Tweeted that I had bumped into the Durham Police dogs that I had been arrrested!!! Me, arrested!!!  come on Harry!!!!! I can even run fast in high heels if I have to!!!

Well over in the cricket news, the new papers are speculating on the squad for Thursday. They say that Michael Carberry will open ( well I should hope so ) and that Top Tyke little Joey Root may be dropped to number 6. Well lets wait and see what the team actually is. No word on injuries. So fingers crossed. They are apparently keeping mum on the wicketkeeper until the morning of the test.

So what to do today?????

Well after a fun filled, wine and rum fuelled couple of days I think that I must 'detox' today.......and go to Tesco!!! Do the shopping for the naughty boys in super swanky Lady Lainey office.
Dame Didi is setting off to go back to Chateau Saltburn  and peace and calm will be restored to LT Tower II.........................................well sort of!!!!!

Durham Castle

Saturday, 16 November 2013

Oohhhhh what day is it????

Zut alors..........I woke up this morning and I had no idea where I was, what day it is, who I am!!!!. Then it all came back to me...............................yep the night  after my birthday! HEADACHE!!!!!!

Well  last night I raced home from work in the Lady Lainey limo and then couldn't find my keys to get in, so I banged on the door to alert Dame Didi  ( she was at  LT Towers II making my dinner)that I was home. And I banged and  I banged, so I emptied me massive handbag onto the doorstep to get my keys and Dame Didi opened the door!

I think that she had already opened the wine and done more than sniff it!!! cos before 6pm she was flipping squiffy!!! Even so, she made me the most wonderful dinner and I was stuffed.

I got loooooooaaadddsssss more pressies and cards which was brilliant and I also had 'Happy Birthday' sung to me by Harry Nesbitt  @spanielharry  on Twitter. He has a blog just like I. Lady Lainey  and he is also the 'pawther' of a book ( I am still waiting to get 'Cricketers Posteriors' published). And he is a super top dog ( not forgetting his sisfur Margaret and The Boss and The second in command, and 'Poor' Auntie Jane). Thank you Harry it was brilliant.

However not so brilliant was that Dame Didi was struggling to keep her eyes open and then fell asleep, so I did too!!! #wheninrome ( or Co Durham)

Wide awake over in Australia ( luckily) the England team eased to a seven wicket victory in their final warm up match, with the wonderful Michael Carberry hitting 50. Yes indeedy that boy is the business!. It is now less than a week before the start of the first test. I am not even going to put together my 'test team'.  I am waiting until after the weekend when they will have been dropping like flies!.

Well its a short ( and a late) one today because we are off to the city of Durham where tonight they are lighting up the whole city centre for the belated birthday of I Lady Lainey. well OK they are lighting up the city, but it is Lumiere. Hopefully I will have lots of pics to show you all tomorrow.

Thank you to everyone for their kind birthday wishes, I had a super flipping birthday and now looking forward to  birthday 2014 in Marseilles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, 15 November 2013

Its Flipping Lady Lainey Day

Woooooooo hold on shouldn't this be F(ryan)day.............well yes it should, but it is the flipping super birthday of I, Lady Lainey and as much I loves Ryan to the moon and back. he has been ousted this week, to make way for ME!!!!!. ( well my legs)..

Woohoo I have already been down and opened my cards and pressies that have arrived ( there had better be looooaaadddssss more or I will scream)

Eldest child monster nephew sent the besty card in the whole flipping world ( he knows who is the best)

And I have lots of  fizz to swill down later and chocolates, and pretty girly things  and money to spend on tiaras and shoes and handbags. There is cake and loads of other stuff that has made me super bouncy excited. I loves me birthday!!

And tomorrow me and the Dame are off to capital of the land of the Prince Bishops to get drunk  watch the amazing light display at Lumiere. WOWWWEEE I can't chuffing well wait for that.

Today I am hoping that all the 'boy chat' has calmed down in super swanky Lady Lainey office and that the boys behave themselves. I tell you now that I am 7 ( in dog years) I thought I knew everything. Well obviously I don't as the boys are talking about things that I never really wanted to know about. #ignoranceisbliss  #boysarehorrible  #boystelluncouthstories #boysareboys  #boysareastrangebreed

I am sharing my birthday with super 'Auntie' Norma who is the mummy of Duchess Debbie the Wise ( who shares her birthday with Dame Didi). I hope besty Auntie Norma has a super flipping day, just like I am going to have.

Dame Didi will be at LT Towers II when I get home from work, sadly she may be sleeping on the sofa as I have not had time to tidy her bedroom. #dumpingground. Well at least she is bringing her own hot water bottles because although Her Serene Highness brought us up to share, hot water bottles are a completely different thing and you do not ever, never ever share!!!!  NOT EVER!!!! ....NEVER!!!!...NOT NEVER!!!!

Meanwhile over in Australia. Top Tyke little Joey Root hit a very classy 75 especially for my birthday ( its my birthday, did you know?) with England all out for 418 ( Finn a big fat duck!). The Invitation XI are on  68-0. So they are fighting back me thinks!

Dame Didi is really getting into the swing of this cricket lark, as she now knows that although Carbs was out for 4, in her words ' he is obviously saving himself for bigger games' Top girl, make a cricket fan of you yet!

And finally for I. Lady Lainey Friday would not be complete without a picture of my Doppelgänger


His Royal Ryanness!!!



Thursday, 14 November 2013


Woooohoooo today is a super 'biggie' as it is my 500th blog!! Would you 'Adam and Eve'it. 500 instalments of the life of I, Lady Lainey. We've had lots of F(ryan) days, lots of 'Tales from the Boundary' and lots of insights into the life of moi!. However this is not the end it is just a continuation and there is much more to come starting with....................

.......................Happy Birthday wishes to Daddy Rushworth who is 44 today!!! So young to be so grumpy!!!And who will be reading this whilst reclining in bed and wondering where to go for coffee and cake today with Pasha. That's the life! Happy Birthday Joe, I hope that you have a great day.

Oh dear not a great day for Carbs, super fave of Dame Didi,  over in Australia he only managed 4 runs before he lost his wicket! Cook and Trott had both made half centuries before tea, whilst earlier  The Invitation X1 lost their last five wickets for 33 runs. Finn taking three of them ( OK he will be crocked for the test now! the list is getting longer).

And talking about Finn, there is to be a no ball rule brought in next season, for any bowler who breaks the stumps with their delivery stride. Previously a 'dead ball' had been called if this happened, but as the hulk that is Steven Finn, was quite partial to doing this little 'turn' it has now forced a change of rule. I see it now, bowlers having ballet lessons to be lighter on their feet and bowl with more style and grace. The thought of His Royal Ryanness in a tutu is making me laugh so much I may have to take a comfort break!!!!

Also incoming rules, in T20 matches incoming batsmen now have 60 seconds to be ready to bat instead of 90 seconds ( no time for hair and make up then!).

In County matches an extra two points is up for grabs in the event of a hard fought draw.This will mean five points for a draw.

And alternative colours to white may be used for crease markings. This is designed to make it easier for spectators and TV to see. Well how about red, that is Lady Lainey's favourite colour????

The boys in the office are still way off the mark as far as office banter goes, not for the delicate ears of Lady lainey. I tell you the introduction of 'Trill Boy' has been an eye opener for moi. And an eye closer due to the photos he has been showing the office. The two words 'spout'and 'pouch' now fill me with dread!!!

And so today as I ready myself for the big arrival in the morning of HUGE bouquets of white flowers delivered by Sir Sean of Bean, Eric Cantona, Gillespie the Gallant and his Royal Ryanness. I am super flipping excited because tomorrow it is my BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

A Bientot

Wednesday, 13 November 2013

Mid week!!!

Well its mid week, its pitch black outside and it is the first day of the second warm up match in Australia.

KP was fit to play ( matter of opinion) and Jonny Bairstow is getting a game too. So far at tea the score is 157-5. Broad and Finn took the wickets which means only one thing. They are both not going to be fit for the first test next week. You think that I am being unfair? Well mark my words. by Sunday they will be having physio, ice packs, injections and the team will be looking for new bowlers.
Its a recurring pattern!

Prior still has his feet up whilst Gary Ballance and James Anderson were given some extra rest so they will be watching 'Neighbours, Home and Away ' and reruns of The Flying Doctors.

Not so top Tyke Michael Vaughan has said that  he would be 'worried' if Jonny Bairstow keeps wicket at the first test. He said his batting at number 7  was fine but wicket keeping not so good. well hell if Prior ain't fit by next week we will have little choice, unless you put KP or Bell in wicket and the size of their mouths they could stop a ball with it no problem. See I have come up with the answer.

Over in super warm Dubai, the warm up matches have been taking place for the ICC World T20 series. Ireland were taking on The Netherlands ( top boys when you meet them in the airport). However the boys in green beat the boys in Orange ( top hair colour) and sees Ireland take on Papua New Guinea before the opening match on Friday against Namibia.

So how is my back? Well its not too bad considering that after eating salad yesterday lunchtime in which some raw onion was lurking ( I, Lady Lainey am a bit allergic to raw onion) I was seeing the salad again very quickly and feeling jolly poorly to boot!. So back pain gone, eating salad in restaurants is now a complete no no!!!

It is now only a matter of days until the huge birthday bash, when they are lighting up the whole of Durham City Centre for I Lady Lainey. How jolly considerate they are to put on a super big light show for moi!.

I am going to make sure that Dame Didi forgets all her woes and has a flipping  fab-u-lous time

I hope that Durham is ready for the girls, cos the girls are ready for Durham!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you had a rubbish day yesterday, I hope that today is much much better.


It's nearly my birthday!!!! Did you know???????

Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Well it's Tuesday

Well the wind has dropped slightly and it feels a bit warmer today, however yesterday at super swanky Lady Lainey office as predicted it was freezing, by 10.30am though it was even more 'freezinger'. Yes the flipping heating wasn't working and so we all had to sit around in our thermals, fleeces, jackets, blankets.......... it took until nearly midday for it to be repaired and to be honest if it is up to temperature today I will be surprised.

My back was giving me a lot of chuffing pain yesterday and I was struggling. When I got home I made myself go for a walk to try to ease it, before snuggling up in bed with a hot water bottle.

I was reminded yesterday that once the excitement of Christmas is over, it will be closer to the start of the cricket season.................wooohooo that made my day and if my back hadn't been hurting so much I think that I might have been bouncing around.

However down in Australia, the cricket is not looking so good as Prior is in serious doubt for the first test. Followed by Broad and Tremlett I predict ( watch this space cos you now its going to happen!!)
However Prior is to be replaced by Jonny Bairstow so that's OK, another Tyke in the camp! And of course motor mouth Bell was the one to speak out regarding  KP and Matt Priors injury. Why Bell????

Tomorrow see the start of their second warm up game and chance to lose another couple of players to injury.

Also good to see the captains of both teams remembering those that had fallen in Remembrance Day services.

This is for Dame Didi who has had a traumatic weekend, I think that you should swap eldest Monster child nephew for Carbs!!!! Simples!!!!

So now as I hobble out to Lady Lainey limo, and set of to super flipping freezing Lady Lainey office, I hope that by tomorrow I have lots of cricket gossip and feel much better

Monday, 11 November 2013

It's winter

well I can safely say that we are now into winter, it is flipping freezing here in the North of blighty and the wind is howling, the rain is lashing down and clear skies at night have meant frosts have been appearing, and also we have been able to see lots of stars. Last night reports from Sunderland were that there was a bright star shining down, I suggested the North Star but as it was in the south west that was not possible. After much surfing of the net, it was reported back to me that it was Jupiter. Well you can think yourselves lucky in Sunderland, it could have been Uranus!!!!!!!!!!!

Well in sunny Australia, KP is back with the squad after having a cortisone injection into his knee, still no word on Prior and his calf scan though. So now I am running a book on who will be the next to go down with injury, My money is on Broad.

Luckily for me I do not watch any type of reality TV shows as today it is reported that Monty Panesar has said that he is willing to give it a go on 'Strictly Come Dancing'. Now I will admit to watching it when Mark Ramprakash was dancing

For very obvious reason. However I am very quick to say that I will not be watching avidly if Monty takes to the dance floor. his moves outside a nightclub earlier this year were not something that Len Goodman would approve of.............

So now to the start of the week and it is a very special week for I Lady lainey, more to come in the week. but it is safe to say that I am,

1. Not getting engaged
2. Not getting married
3. Not getting drunk ( until Friday)


And  today I am wrapping up super warm as Monday is 'freeze your wot nots' off day in super swanky Lady Lainey office. However today I take back control, I have let 'Trill boy' have his bit of fun, I have let him settle into the office routine, and now I am back to full shouting mode and will take no nonsense from them

Coffee should be piping hot and on my desk at 8am, boys should be working quietly and not making lewd suggestions about Lady lainey's life. Normal transmission is about to resume!!!

Sunday, 10 November 2013

Remembrance Sunday

Today is Remembrance Sunday and throughout the UK people will remember those who gave their lives serving their country.

I am going to hobble down to church at 10.30am. 'Hobble' I hear you ask, well yes the blog is late this morning as I could not get out of  bed due to hideous back pain, caused by raking up the leaves in the Deer Park and  the  front of he Towers. Wow I really need my own 'Mellors'

Oh well back to cricket, its not looking good for KP he is due to have a cortisone injection into his knee today after suffering 'discomfort'. Well he should have my back ache and then he would know what discomfort is!.

Also Matt prior is due to have a scan on a calf injury. Oh dear they are all dropping like flies now. Looks like we took some crocks out to Australia, I bet the Aussie press are loving this.

Good news in footy though Leeds and Birmingham both won.Birmingham however did get a couple of yellow cards ( not Rt hon hooligan) and a red card!!

Talking about the Robbos, Middle Robbo has been very poorly, after going of on a jaunt to do the 'Whisky Trail' with Robbo Jnr, he took poorly and ended up in hospital having suffered a heart attack. Luckily he is on the mend and back home now, however sadly his planned trip to Australia to see The Ashes has been cancelled, he is not happy about it, but at least he is still with us and can relax at home watching it on TV, being waited on hand and foot by the fair lady Florence.

So this is a very short blog due to having to try to manoeuvre myself into the shower and then get ready to head off to church.

have a great day today and don't forget your poppy!..

Saturday, 9 November 2013


Whoopsie indeedey. Well I was having a quite evening ( apart from more fireworks being set off!) when at 9pm just as I was about to trek up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire, there was tapping at my window!!!! Who the flipping heck was it....Sir Sean of Bean finally come to his senses?????, Eric Cantona stopping playing hard to get????? No it as none other than Black Knight of the Ferrari ( well Ferrariless as it is in UAE). Yes he came laden with champers and olives and artichoke hearts and lots of other goodies which we stuffed down our gullets and gulped down with champers.

He went home and I went to bed suffering from 'post concussion syndrome' and I don't feel much better this morning!! he is loving his life abroad and is going back on Tuesday. It was a great way to finish the week and  great to catch up on all the gossip!!!

Over in Hobart they finally got to play with England retiring Cook and Carberry and letting the other boys shine. Not great from the boys with 'future captain' KP making 8 but little Joey Root Top Tyke and jolly good player scoring 58. The match was drawn after two rain filled days but I think that if Carberry is omitted from the first test line up it will be a mistake and Dame Didi might take on the powers that be. She is struggling to do any housework due to being on 'Google' every waking hour looking at pictures of Carbs. See I knew that I could get her interested in cricket!

I have been laughing my wobbly head off at  a piece by David Lloyd who stated that 'in his day' there were no energy drinks, they had bitter or Double Diamond!! Sometimes they had Mackeson stout ( I loved that!!!). They sometimes downed a concoction called a 'brown cow' which was milk and coke ( none of your diet nonsense here). Actually not laughing so much now, feel jolly sicky!!!!

This was the Daily Mails top 10 (Gary) Ballanced diet

Michael Carvery
Kevin Pizza-sen
Joe Root vegetables
Blue Steven Finn tuna
Stuart Broad beans
Ian taco Bell
Tim Bres-naan
Bairstow gravy
It’s just a shame that Graeme Onions and Phil Mustard didn’t make it on tour!

Read more:
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

So what does today have in store

Well in footy

Leeds are away to Charlton

Birmingham are away to Huddersfield

And I am away back to bed to try to stop the room spinning!!!!!

Friday, 8 November 2013

Happy F(ryan)day

Well it is F(ryan) day today and it couldn’t have come a minute too soon. This week after getting up extra early one morning I have been struggling to get up and write my daily dose of  flipping Lady Laineyisms.
That and the fact that the 'boys' have been jolly unkind to her Ladyship this week, making very ungentlemanly comments ( of which I could never type, but the alternative name for a puma has been used frequently!!! how very dare they). Well it ends today. On Monday I strike back, shouting!!!!

So tonight before I drink so much champers that I get ‘post concussion syndrome’ I must try to get some more jobs done here at LT Towers II.

Now, did they or didn’t they get out to play cricket on the third day.No they didn't, the rain came down and the covers stayed on!. Disappointing but nature doing what nature does!

In County news Keaton Jennings and Phil Mustard have JUST signed new contracts with the Durham. So what took so long??? Negotiating the best locker in the dressing room? Best seat on the players balcony? Ian Blackwell's place at the lunch/tea table? Well what ever it was, good to see them staying on.

Captain Cook has been showing off a 'monster' bruise on his bicep. He got this whilst in the nets.Well that's nothing I got hit on the leg after Harry Lachtman bowled to me and by next morning the bruise was purple/red and swollen complete with seam marks and looked as if the ball was embedded under the skin!!!! Top bowler Harry!!!!

And once again Captain Cook is in the firing line from Shane Hurley ( Warne). He is saying that England should drop Cook as Captain and replace him with....................KP. OMG.

Team Talk, 

KP. OK boys I am the captain,I am the best, I get the best sponsorship, have the best tatts and am the best cricketer the world has every seen.I am besty friends with Piers Morgan, Shane Warne and all of Liberty X. Listen when I speak, Let me take all the glory,  I do all the interviews, I am the greatest. Any questions? No, so let me go and win The Ashes ( again).

 Team     *SILENCE*


This is the  last picture for Dame Didi to set her up for the weekend!!!.

And finally good luck, and congratulations to besty Durham bowler Chris Rushworth who is tying the knot today. It's all downhill now................................ONLY JOKING!!!!

Hope that Daddy Rushworth and Pasha have a brilliant day and enjoy themselves ( which I know they will)

I love weddings ( as long as it's not my own!)

Bon Weekend

Thursday, 7 November 2013

It's MY blog!!!!!

Well I have been writing my blog full of jolly interesting things about my life, and my love of cricket and other things for well over a year now, I know that I am read in France and Saltburn for sure, also in Shrewsbury, the blog is the highlight of Mr Morris’s morning, In Leeds sometimes Gillespie the Gallant reads it in  and retweets it!  Over in Sunderland I get the blame for keeping Daddy Rushworth in bed, and NOW I find out that over in the same neck of the woods, someone possibly reading my blog and then writing parts of it in the 'Journal'……………how very dare they……………………Maybe I will start a few rumours ( usually I am part of the rumour) and see how long before that gets published. 

I have recently noted on Twitter that some so called ‘cricket writers’ have also had strikingly similar articles/comments to those published at stupid o’clock in ‘Tales from the Boundary’. Get your own nonsense to write about, stop stealing mine.

WOWWWEEEEEE was about to start ranting there!!!!

Last night I went to ‘Fat Fighters’ to be honest I am slimmer than the ‘leader’ and probably half her BMI. However I really want to lose the weight as I DO NOT want to be harpooned by passing whaling ships next Easter when I am splashing about in the sea at St Gille Croix de Vie. Also I have a wardrobe full of lovely clothes that are crying out to be worn………… a skinny Minnie rather than the heifer that opens the wardrobe door every morning.

8 weeks to slimline Lainey.

So back to cricket and all the papers, Twitter etc all roaring for Carbs, how brilliant he is etc, etc, etc. well I have been saying this  for months whilst only a couple of months ago the papers were saying he shouldn’t be in the side. I love the way that they blow hot and cold.

You know when you read my blog it is totally biased towards all things Yorkshire, throw in some Durham add a splash of Hampshire, mix up with some pert cricketers posteriors and that’s it (well apart from when I get on my high horse,and tales from home and holidays)

So back to the cricket and the score is currently ……6.12am UK time. Rain stopped any hope of play!! They could have been in England!!! Day three will start half an hour earlier

Over in County news James Tayler has signed  has signed a new contract with Nottinghamshire. he hasn't grown any taller though!.

In International cricket Graeme Smith  South African test captain has withdrawn from ODI's at the moment due to 'post concussion syndrome' meaning he is still dizzy. Now I know what is wrong with me on Friday evenings after gulping down copious amounts of champagne, its 'post concussion syndrome'!!! And I thought I was drunk!!!

This picture is specially for my besty sister Dame Didi who liked yesterdays picture of Carbs so much she is considering coming out of marital retirement!

Bon Journee!!!

Wednesday, 6 November 2013

Top Choice!!!!

Whoop di flipping dooooo,  Carbs was named again in the squad for the next warm up match which started in Hobart. He is opening with Captain Cook who has now recovered from his sore back and tongue lashing from Mr Warne. Little Joey Root is knocked down to 5th spot, but no matter he will shine through I am sure. The only uncertainty that I have is the inclusion of Tremlett. As you know I do not rate him. So time will tell.

Motor mouth Bell has been rested but I am sure he will have plenty to say!!!!

Current scores 6.34 am  Carberry 153 and Cook 154!!!!!! Top Boy Carbs.

Cook had commented on Warnes attack on his style of captaincy. he said 'Its water off a ducks back'. Oh dear not the right choice of  allegory, considering !!!

KP is also in the squad..........enough said!!!!

Well Bonfire went by without incident here in LT Towers II due to I, Lady Lainey spending the evening hiding under my duvet!!! The very loud bangs were going on here in Lady Lainey Lane until well after 11pm. Now there are lots of small children living here so I tend to think that the fireworks at that time were for the adults.

Good new on the Christmas jumper front. We finally have ours. mine is red with a Christmas pudding on it and Dame Didi is wearing blue with a Christmas tree. Watch out for us on Xmas morning at the copthorne at Bramall Lane, we will be the sad looking adults!!!!

It is bath day today, sadly not for I, Lady Lainey but for little lady Pasha who is getting spruced up in time for the nuptials. I wonder if dad is having a bath too?

Rumour has it that Pasha will be wearing a pink ribbon for the wedding and Dad will be starkers due to failing in his shopping task and  being banned out of most shops in Sunderland for running round all the racks screaming 'Run with meeee' and blaming it all on an innocent toddlers!!!!

Good new in the life of Sir Sean of Bean, sadly he has not decided to marry I, Lady Lainey but he is making a new film, it is an adaptation of Macbeth and guess who he  is playing...............yes Macbeth of course!.

And so I wend my way to super swanky Lady Lainey office and hope that the boys behave. Since the arrival of 'Trill boy' they have been ganging up on moi, and casting  aspersions on my character.I give them until the start of next week to get it out of their system and then I fight back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, 5 November 2013

Remember. Remember .........

Its Tuesday and its Bonfire night. So tonight there will be firework displays and bonfires up and down Blighty. In The Towers I Lady Lainey will be inside as I am flipping scaredy of fireworks although if I get out early enough I will set a bonfire going to get rid of all the flipping horse chestnut leaves that are littering the ‘Deer Park’

However before then we have a fun filled day in super swanky Lady Lainey office. The boys were full of horrible stories of what they got up to on Friday evening,' Trill boy' was still trying to recover yesterday morning!!!!! I am very glad that I was not with them. Now however talk has turned to our annual Christmas Gut Bash. And for once I really think that I am staying sober……..

The Warne/Cook debate ran over onto Twitter with Michael Vaughan joining in. Well I love Twitter but for goodness sake why don’t they ‘man up’ If Mikey has something to say to Shane Warne why not phone him and have it out with him instead of writing it on Twitter for all his followers to back him on. I am sure they have each others number……….or maybe Shane only gives it out to ladies!!!!!!!!!!

And apparently Warne has questioned Joe Roots suitability..........................woooooooo hold on there, Joe Root suitable?????. If Shane has anything to say about little Joey then he can call me.It seems my phone number has 'mysteriously' appeared in some phone boxes in Sunderland so it wont be hard to find it. ( OK Dame Didi, its a joke................I think???!!!!).

Root responded by saying that he wondered if Warne was suitable as a husband. Actually he didn't really!!!!!! Joe said that he had to make sure that his technique and mental  strength were ready for The Ashes. Which is what Mr Warne is doing to the boys, mental warfare!!!. Joe went on to say that he was 'covering his bases and making sure that he is ready for anything'. #COYT

However not content with this three way slanging match Nasser Hussein got in on the act. Well it wouldn't be a show without Punch! #tooboringforwords

So just a reminder if you have little ( or big) doggies to keep them safely indoors tonight as most of our furry friends do not like loud bangs and flashing lights. lots of cuddles and treats for them instead.

After my little spat with Talk Talk last year over no broadband or phone for nearly a week after my move, I had a little chat with them last night (92 minutes) and hopefully now everything is hunky dory and I am paying half of what I was paying before!!

Well off for a fun and firework filled day at Super swanky Lady  Lainey Office. So hope that  you all have a great bonfire evening.

Monday, 4 November 2013

New week

Its the new week and I hope that it is better than last week with all the flipping sad news I received. I Lady Lainey am turning over a new leaf this week and decided that I will now no longer do things that I don't like which include

1. Going on  the 'Sheffield Eye' again ( 3.5 rotations my aunt nellie!!!!)

2. Wearing flat shoes

3. Watching scary movies ( on my own)

4. Eating chocolate ( well I love chocolate but it is making me get wider)

So with this in mind I am starting the new week full of hope that I drop 2 stone by next Monday, walk tall(er) and never try to bale out of a moving 'Big wheel' when it is at the top!

What can go wrong..............10'o clocks for starters which is bound to be chocolate biscuits.

well after reporting that the wedding is back on for the Estee Lauder ( no plastic surgery involved!) enhanced Warne/Hurleys. The 'big' man himself has decided to speak about cricket and states that 'boring' Cook will cost England the ashes. He has said that Cook is 'negative and boring' ( obviously does not send inappropriate texts to woman). Warne who spent most of the summer sending texts sniping at Cook's captaincy, continued this stating that he didn't like his leadership. Well at least he is a fresh faced young man who is living his dream. He hasn't done too badly so far.

In the 'excitement' to get on with my painting yesterday I forgot all about the footy, well The Blades lost!!! As did Birmingham, but at least The Mighty Whites won 2-0!.

F1 saw Vettel win ( again) which is making the whole thing very boring. The sad thing is that Baron Button is not having a great season, his car is just not up to scratch.

So with more painting done here at The Towers it is time to set off for super swanky flipping freezing Lady Lainey office. It is always freezing on Monday as stingy Landlord won't allow the heating on over the weekend!! So today it is trousers and a thermal fleece...............and flipping high heeled boots!

Is it only me or are we sadly lacking cricket news??????? Sorry this is a short one today but I can only work with what I am given...................unless I make it up!!!!

Until tomorrow.