TFIF

It s F(ryan)day

Wooooohoooo its Friday and I for one am so blinking happy that I am nearly bouncing off the walls and its only 6.00am UK time. Its been a strange week here at Tykes Towers what with more things coming to light regarding my former tenant and been given a skinhead haircut as well as everyone in the office feeling 'out of sorts', I am super glad the week is over.

And so  this evening I will be putting the final touches to the Christmas lights  ready for the big switch on  tomorrow and I am doing it  myself  that way I can eat all the food and quaff a bottle of Merlot ( red wine is good for you) to celebrate  the big event. 

Yesterday at Super Swanky Lady Lainey office  Job the Jolly was not very well, as he now has the 'lurgy' that Pony Paul and I have had, except that Job the Jolly was bally well barfing too. We spent most of the morning discussing food and then realise that Jobbers was very very white ( which is unusual for him). He probably would have been OK if I hadn't asked him if he was having a 'Pot Noodle' for lunch! Oh dear!

Also His Royal Ryanness was at the fizzio's ( OK that's not how its spelt but its makes me laugh) yesterday, so I sent him a tweet and he only blinking well tweeted me back!!! that has really made my weekend and I love Friday pics of Ryan they always make me smile! So get well soon Ryan and get super fit ready for end of April when I Lady Lainey will be inspecting your form ( lucky boy!).

In sporty land it looks like David Beckham is in talks with Monaco, its to be hoped that living there might put a smile on the Pouty ones cakehole ( or grapehole, as I doubt a cake has ever passed her lips). If he does join he will be playing where the greats, Thierry Henri and Emmanuel Petit played.

In India the decision has been taken to rest KP for the T20 matches!!! Flipping heck he has worked sooooo hard in the last 2 tests .......................................gosh I was talking about Cook there! So back to KP, if he is not able to play 2 tests and a few T20's bring in the young guns. Well those are my thoughts.

Further report on the F1, is that the FIA do not believe that Vettel committed an offence  lets see how long this story runs.

Oh yes and Andrew Flintoff is boxing tonight (WTF), I am surprised that KP didn't get a special dispensation to fly home for that event #turnupattheopeningofanenvelope

So off to finish the week.Bon journee

  

What a way to start the weekend!

Who will turn on Lady Lainey's Xmas lights ?

Sean in Hampstead

Last Sunday Sir Sean of Bean turned on the Christmas lights in Hampstead,( not far for him to stagger home after a couple of mulled wines) so I began wondering who I would like to come and do the honours at Tykes Towers ( formerly LT Towers II). So I began drawing up a list.

1.  Sir Sean of Bean ( think he may be sick of it now)
2. Gillespie the Gallant
3. His Royal Ryanness ( they could do it together and only live about an hour away)
4. Eric Cantona
5. David Ginola ( they could do it together and we could all have Vin and Fromage and then lumiere le sapin de noel, and admire 'mon creche')

So that's the shortlist and somehow I think that my luck is out  on all of them ( although I would very much like the last 2 !!!) and either the monster children nephews or Mr Funky the Chauffeur may be doing the honours, or I could do it myself and scoff all the fromage and drink the 'vin' myself................................... Now that sounds like a plan.


Yesterday we had very little rain (hurrah!!) and there was even a bit of blue sky, however that was only momentary and the weather turned flipping freezing which has led to weather forecasters predicting, snow and freezing temperatures. Me thinks that I am in the wrong job any stupid nitwit  knows that it is winter here in Blighty and going on the past few winters we will get snow. I think I may just carve out a new career for myself. UPDATE 6.19am UK time freezing and frosty with ice on untreated roads so anyone in the North East of Blighty be careful.

I have been checking all my junk  treasures that I had put on eBay over the weekend, and there seems to be a lot of interest in lots of Lady Laineys's cast off's, flipping good job to as I am fair swamped in 'stuff' at the Towers and really need to make some room ready for when Pere Noel brings me everything on my Xmas list.( to be shown at a later date).
 I really need to clear out some rubbish!!!!! and more to the point who the flipping heck keeps bringing more in??????
  

In cricket land deluded coach of former besty home county of  Durham has said that Steve Harmisons future is in his hands ( which is more than any cricket balls have been recently!) and after an injury-affected season 2012...............................woooooooooo I think injury affected 3 seasons,  AND then he was also loaned to Yorkshire who sent him back! However instead of Durham just admitting that he is a has been, they are paying him for another season and giving him a benefit!!!!!! For flipping hecks sake, this man has nearly emptied the coffers of Durham ( due to them giving him a 100 year contract....OK I exaggerate but he has hardly played even half a season since!)  and has not given anything back in the last 4 seasons. Geoff Cook  the coach also should have been ousted at the end of last season as well as all the back room dead wood  who obviously are getting money for old rope!!!. Durham need a HUGE shake up and soon!!!!! And Mr Cook its about time that you opened your blinkered eyes!!!!


Good gracious me now that was a fair old rant and on a Thursday too.

  news in that Ricky Ponting is retiring from International cricket. He will be missed!. And also that Ferrari are lodging a complaint that if upheld could see Vettel lose his title due to a possible illegal overtaking move. Watch this space!!

Mid week and still raining

Just what I need!

Well in case any readers out of the UK were unaware, The UK is in a state of flood, I am surprised that this island hasn't sunk the amount  of water that has ( and still is) falling on an already sodden country.I am seriously thinking of trading in the Lady Lainey limo and buying an ark, that way I am well prepared for any eventuality. Which is more than can be said for my orange skinhead which is still causing me a great amount of concern.

The extensive grounds of Tykes Towers are waterlogged and The Deer Park now has a lake!!! Never bargained on any of this when I moved in! Luckily I think that the slugs may have drowned as I don't think they can swim, but knowing my luck they will be like cockroaches and be able to survive anything!


Well only three and a half weeks at work until we get to have a bit of R & R, I  put up the Sapin De Noel ( Christmas Tree) last night as I got a bit cross when I came home from super swanky Lady Lainey office due to the former tenant of my house, so I decided to channel the anger into doing something constructive. Well its a bit wonky and the decs are a bit 'all over the place' but I will sort it out properly at the weekend............or maybe I will just leave it, and start a new trend.

Oh dear, over in (not very wet) India its a case of same old, same old. Broad is now a concern for the 3rd test as his form is a cause for concern ( 14 wickets in the last 6 tests). Why concern now?????? when he is in India!!!!!  They should have looked at this prior to contracts being given .All things considered the team are not great ( regardless of what anyone says re KP, I expect he will be out for a very low figure in the next test). Finn is still not a definite for the test and so I ask, ' What is going on in the background?'

I am a true England fan however the team appears to be filled with (some) over rated players, others chosen via nepotism and seriously good players overlooked. Time to bring in a new broom.


OK rant over footy news The Mighty Whites won 1-0 and Birmingham drew 1-1.




On this day 

28th November

1582 William Shakespeare married Anne Hathaway

1948 the first Polaroid camera was sold

1975 Test debut of Michael Holding

1990 Margaret Thatcher resigns as Prime minister

Remembering Gary

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Today  'Tales from The Boundary' is dedicated to the memory of  the wonderful Gary Speed, it is hard to believe that it is a year since we lost a great and talented footballer and manager ( especially as he managed The Blades!).

Best known for having  played at Leeds ( The Mighty Whites) and Newcastle as well as representing his country, Wales. He went on to manage Sheffield United a team that he had also played for. As well as spells playing at Bolton  and Everton

His time as manager at Sheffield United was brief ( and he was a much respected manager there) as he went on to manage the National Team of Wales, a post he held until his untimely death.


A little known fact about Gary is that as a boy he was a talented cricketer!



RIP Gary and you are still missed.

Gary Speed  MBE

Spetember 8th 1969- 27th November 2011

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Monday 26th November

G-BOAF

Today on 26th November 2003 G-BOAF, Alpha Foxtrot flew into Filton to see its days out at the place of its creation. Alpha Foxtrot ( Concorde 216) was the last Concorde to fly. However sadly now this Concorde is no longer available for the public to see or to tour due to an on going dispute. Please sort this out soon.


So the latest from the Test, England have demolished India with a 10 wicket victory and well done to the boys. Praise goes to all the boys and to Monty Panesar who bowled well. However it is a team effort and after the battering that they took in the first test, they had to do something pretty spectacular. So the score is 1-1 and we should be going into the 3rd Test on our guard as the one thing that the Indians do not do ( which is what England have done of late) is lie down and allow themselves to be walked all over.

Certain sports hacks are making statement regarding David Gowers wonder boys in India sealing triumph in 1985. Flipping heck, I know that was the last time that England won out there but I think that we are a little bit off sealing victory just yet!

Man of the match was..........
KP 'Thanks to the guys in the dressing room and the management for sorting everything out. To wear an England jersey is so special'

Lady Lainey ' Yep but to wear an IPL jersey is  more profitable!

Over in Chelsea yesterday, Rafa got a very hostile reception from the fans at his first match as temp manager after the disgraceful sacking of Roberto Di Matteo. There is a large weight on Rafa's shoulders regarding getting the best from Nando. Wonder how long he will reign?

However I was saving the besty sporty news for last!!! Whoop di flipping doooo I was fair jumping about like a mad thing yesterday evening, my tiara was falling off, ( due to me having a 'skinhead' haircut now!) and there you have it Baron Button won!!! What a super blinking fabby flipping driver he is. All this was slightly ( only slightly) overshadowed by  Vettel taking the F1 title for the 3rdyear straight, so well done to him. It was a dramatic race that saw Jenson's( not for much longer ) team mate crash out. Martin Whitmarsh, praised Jenson saying that he drove one of the best races of his life. Well done to you all!

NORTH EAST WEATHER WATCH
Well apparently rain is moving North from the overly wet South, actually the rain has been here in the north for the last 36 hours, so don't be bothering to send any more. I am wearing a hat today not just because it is wet but because the hairdresser chopped all my hair off and if I didn't put the hat on I wouldn't be venturing out for the next 3 months!!!
Some idiot expert was on the news saying that you should only be driving if it is really necessary, I can visualise the phone call now.

Lady Lainey  Hello Job the Jolly

Job the Jolly Hello Lady Lainey why aren't you sat at your desk in super swanky Lady Lainey office


Lady Lainey  Well some expert guy said you were only to drive in the rain if your journey was truly necessary and as there were no handbags, shoes, leather gloves or tiara at the end of my journey I deemed it not necessary.

Job the Jolly  Try the journey to pick up your P45, that makes it very necessary!!!

So I guess I will get in the Lady Lainey limo and zoom off to work!

















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I want to go home

I want to go 'home' where it is warm and sunny!!!

Well its gone from foggy and freezing  to lashing it down and freezing and I for one have no intention of venturing out of the door of Tykes Towers, especially as  I have a 'moat' again at the bottom of the driveway!!. So I will settle down to a plate of scrambled eggs on toast and read the latest instalment from the life of the hideous black witchy haired journo who writes for one of the Sunday papers here. She thinks her life is bad as she has no money ( but still afforded a facelift!!!), has serious body issues ( but never mentions her huge ears!!) and has a dream job and a supposed ageing rock start boy friend. Whoops a slight rant going on there!!! Better get onto more pressing matters...............


So over in India a great day by England with them bowled out for 413 a lead of 86. Cook scored 122 with the One man England team, scoring 186. So I salute him but do not take back the fact that he is inconsistent in his playing which is evident in the score in this innings and the score from the last test. Cook played well, and deserves praise, however this will be overshadowed by people re-boarding the KP bandwagon, sadly FIGJAM will never be more apt than at this moment.


And over in footy not a good day for Lady Laineys Blades as they went down 2-0! However boys, you are playing brilliantly and one lost match does not the season close! so boots on and lets win some more matches.

The Mighty Whites did however shine forth and beat 'palace' 2-1 so well done to the boys and keep it up.

Sadly Birmingham City lost 3-2 , lots of goals and Rt Hon Hooligan was playing but Nigel Cloughs Derby just pulled it off in the 84th minute. At one point 4 goals were scored in 11 minutes, that was a match!!!!

Over in Brazil Baron  Button is 2nd on the grid with the 'other person' being  on pole. Apparently he got a little tearful when taking to the hacks about his leaving of McLaren the team that he had been with since he was 13 ( should have been at school!!). Well a bit of onion up your sleeve works wonders obviously!!!

COME ON JENSON!!!!!

And now  I am off to have more caffeine

Its flipping Foggy

Well today Paul the Double Glazier is coming to fix Lady Lainey's letterbox and handle (please note this is NOT a euphemism!!!) and hopefully fit the fascia above the garage. I am super bouncy excited  I am also going to finally venture out into the garage and hopefully get all the Platinum Duck ( super cricket tea empire) things put away as well as getting rid of numerous pots of paint, seriously do I look like an acid yellow girl?????

Then I may start to tackle the garden tubs before having a massive bonfire to get rid of soggy leaves, dead branches and any other things that are laid about. SLUGS BEWARE

Yesterday I went to have my mad orange curls trimmed................OMG I now have no hair and went back to super swanky Lady Lainey office and cried!!! Yes I cried.!!!! boohooing and big fat tears on the desk crying, They cut my hair so short that when it rains and my hair really curls up I will look like something from The Hair Bear Bunch!!! And yes I know that it will grow and that I am forever complaining about my 'afro' but to have it chopped off when you only went to have 1/4in taken off the bottom is enough to make any Lady cry. #notgoingoutforafewmonths


Over at the test India scored  327 with Swann and Panesar taking all but one wicket ( Anderson), in reply England are currently 64-0. I know we are supporting the boys but some of the Tweets on the BBC website make it look as if England have it in the bag. Please do not count your chickens you should all know the score by now.  More tomorrow as the game progresses.


Tykes footy today

Leeds are at Crystal Palace
Sheffield United are away at Brentford

and in Brum

Birmingham take on Derby

So come on boys and have a great day today on the pitch



NORTH EAST WEATHER WATCH

Well here in the North East of Blighty after being lashed with torrential rain last night I had a peep out of the blinds this morning and can't see a blinking thing, it is thick fog and frosty, anyone would think it is winter......oh hang on we have winter all round here in the North East, anyone would think it is Narnia. Roll; on the return of Aslan and summer arriving!!!!
So I am putting on my thermals ( no change there) 6 layers of woollies and going out into the garage.














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I've got that Friday feeling.......

Well it is Friday!!!!

Super massive get well wishes to His Royal Ryanness who has had a 'little ' op but is recovering well. he posted a picture on Twitter yesterday and he was wearing a very fetching stocking ( strictly for DVT prevention!!!!).  Get back on your feet soon and get yourself super fit ready for next season! That's an order from her Ladyship!!!

We were all very  quiet  at work yesterday mainly due to being rushed off our Jimmy Choos (Ok, the boys were not wearing Jimmy Choos!) trying to issue a gazillion drawings for swanky designer Outlet , I was inputting so much info that I chipped my blinking nail varnish!!! What a disaster!! That's the nail varnish not the job! And even worse lady Lainey having to work, when really she is only in the office to look pretty. Things are going rapidly downhill in this office!!!!

Over at Tykes Towers I have finally settled on 4 colours for the kitchen,

1 Ice cream

2 Twine

3 Putty

4 Straw

All these colours are cream so its a tough choice!!!!

I may purchase one of the aforementioned  colours and get some walls painted so that the kitchen can finally be finished! ( well until I get a new one).

Well day 1 at the Test, Panesar is brought in and at this moment 6.26am UK time India are 87-3.  England team have been changed, super Tykes Jonny Bairstow is in, but Tim Bresnan is out ans of course where would the England team be is they had left out KP ( probably doing better!). Lets see what day one brings.

Over in Brazil the drivers will be getting extra protection after problems last season. Baron Button has gone on record a saying that he wants Alonso to win.

Over at Chelsea, Rafa has said that it will be 'easy' working with Abramovich after his previous troubles at Liverpool.Is this comment icarian??????? Mark my words Rafa you ain't seen nothing yet!!! 

Caught up with Duchess Debbie the Wise last night, she is  off to Leeds for a girly weekend, well as long as you aren't removed from Harvey Nicks fourth floor bar like Countess Culshaw and I and put in a taxi back to your hotel. The sad thing was Countess Culshaw was tired it was just her snoring was disturbing everyone else in the bar!!! 

Oh well another day another penny in the tiara fund.



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Silk purse, sows ear!!!!

 I Lady Lainey am  in total flipping shock, the wonderful Roberto Di Matteo was sacked by Chelsea yesterday!!! Well I think the old adage 'You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear' comes to mind regarding the team. It goes to prove tht no matter how much blinking cash you splash it does not make the team a good one, so sadly Roberto gets the chop.
 Now as you know I am not a super footy fan, I will follow the Tykes teams and also teams where cousin Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo plays but I 'lurvvve' Roberto and he and Hooligan where at West Brom together. So to Mr A, boss man at Chelsea, Roberto got you out of the poo last season, you put Raffa  in charge until the end of the season #dejavu
And so I put my thoughts on the debacle that is Chelsea to bed.

Over in India things are not much better, Finn is still not fit to play in the second test, so pack him off home now, not fit, not play at all in my books. Wonder what the 'show pony' will be doing in the next two innings?
Ian Bell is a proud father to Joseph William Bell whose arrival he missed after all the fuss about him going home. He had seemed to be distracted in the first test, being out with an awful shot in the first innings. I truly cannot get my head around the fact that if you are selected to play for your country you go to give it your all, not give it 10% and 90% at getting your  E ticket home printed out!

At former besty home county of Durham Chris Rushworth has been given a new contract. Chris is from Sunderland and came up through the Academy. he is super brill bowler and has  a very nice dad, who always stops to have a natter with Lady Lainey along with his lovely dog, Pasha.

NORTH EAST WEATHER WATCH

Apparently today temperatures here in the icy wastes are going to 'soar' to 12c, wooo flipping dooo its a blinking heatwave..........however by this afternoon we will be experiencing gale force winds ( again) and torrential rain ( again) so any chance that the 'heat' would be felt have disappeared in the wind chill factor!
I am now 'swathed' in layers of thermals and wool, with hat scarf and gloves on( and that's to sit in super swanky Lady Lainey office!!).

SLUGWARS

yes they are back!! ( not sure where the slimy little beggars went to) last night as I was trying to get the front door open there was a 'massive' BROWN slug crawling up the wall, and it really was massive it was about 4in long. Just when I thought that it was safe to venture out of Tyke Towers!!!!!

Oh well I must now poke one toe out of the front door, keeping eyes peeled for the offending slug and freeze my wotnots off going to work.

have a great day where ever you are.



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Thought for the day

Talent is God given, be humble
Fame is man given, be grateful
Conceit is self given, be careful

 Make of that what you will, but I think that you know where I am coming from and where it is aimed! We await the news of the 2nd test team.
 However Botham and Broad having a spat on Twitter???? Man up the pair of you and do it face to face, #bothacoupleofgirls!!!

Getting back to all things in Tykes Towers, dodgy light in the kitchen, dodgy light in the back, and over the garage door, not looking good on the light front! So better call in an electrician, as this does not seem to be a job that I Lady Lainey or Mr funky the Chauffeur can attend to. Luckily Paul the Double glazing man is coming out at the weekend to finally fix my letterbox and also give me a super swanky new door handle and fix up a new fascia over the garage door. goodness me Tykes Towers getting flipping fabby makeover for Xmas ( or at least the arrival of the Sapin de Noel). So last night I got the number of a local electrician and called re the dodgy lights.

I, Lady Lainey  Hello Mr Electrician I wonder if you can give me a quote on my dodgy lights

Mr Electrician   Yes Flower ( Lady Lainey hates being called flower), I can call tomorrow about 10am or about 2pm.

I, Lady Lainey   Sorry that isn't really any good as I will be at work.

Mr Electrician    (laughing like an imbecile), Well your husband has you well trained!!!!!

I Lady Lainey     Sorry?????

Mr Electrician    Your husband, getting you to go out to work, excellent!!!!! Wish I could get my wife to go out to work and then I could stay a home and watch daytime telly ( laughing manically now)

I Lady Lainey   Thank you for the insight into your marital affairs and you will be able to watch daytime telly at 10 am and 2pm tomorrow!!!!!

I end the call!!!

 Firstly if I was more confident with electrics I would do it myself ( I can wire a plug which is more than the former Lord Lainey could do!) Secondly I called a 'Tradesman' and expected some kind of professional response to my request. So back to flashing disco light in the kitchen!

Over in Sheffield The Blades drew 3 apiece and Shaun Miller was once again on the score sheet. Well done those boys!!!!!

So off  to the office and another round of paperwork for the super swanky Designer Outlet build, my life is sooooo exciting.

Finally

BREAKING NEWS  10.00AM 21/11/12

Chelsea have sacked the wonderful Roberto Di Matteo #gotyououtofthepoolastseasonroman!!!!!!

SHAMBOLIC!!!

What other word is there to sum up the performance of the England team. I KNOW that in the second innings Cook and Prior made a good stand but flipping heck after all the furore with Mr Pieterson and the ' England cannot do without him' headlines, I am seriously in danger of flipping my tiara well and truly . As I have said often enough one man is not a team, so do not pin all hopes on one person. His scores were poor and I feel that for the second test bring in the 'Young Guns', hell what have we got to lose!! We have gone down badly in the first test. Even Alistair Cook thinks that they need to look at the selection of players.

I loved these comments on the BBC sport website

pastychucker
7 Minutes ago

KP lovers are the kind of blinkered fools like parents whose kid gets expelled from school but they blame it on everyone else except the kid. You all called for him to be recalled on the basis that he was a 'gamechanger' and 'our best player'. So why are you now saying it's OK for him to fail in this game because all the lesser mortals have failed too? Face it - he isn't as good as you think.


104.Garfy
37 Minutes ago

Why do those defending KP always harp on about his 20 hundreds @50?

Surely the only relative stat in this case is no hundreds @9.5? No doubt he'll bang a 150 or so to draw a dead rubber when England are already 3-0 down and once again he'll be the greatest batsman to ever face left-armed spin!

And Broad, Vice captain? Why? Someones trying their best to make him un-droppable!

97.alibor
57 Minutes ago

We would have been better without Pietersen in India - he cannot play left arm spin in Indian conditions. I would include both Morgan (another left hander) and Bairstow at 4/5 and bring in Monty for Patel. Also there is a case for excluding Broad, especially if Finn is fit. Not convinced either about Compton as opener, but suppose he should get another chance.

At least I am not alone in  my opinions.



Over in Sheffield tonight The Blades take on Crewe so a jolly big #COYB!!

I have found a flight to go to see the Northern Lights next year now I just have to convince Dame Didi that we 'need' to go. And also good news that she is now on the mend after her 'fally downy' episode.


The light in my kitchen is on the blink and keeps flashing like a 70's disco ( at least I have the afro to go with it!). It made emptying the dishwasher this morning a real pain and now my eyes are killing me with all the flickering. #electriciansatlunchtime

NORTH EAST WEATHER WATCH
After being nearly blown off my feet yesterday morning on my way to super swanky Lady Lainey office and then getting soaked to the skin on the way home, today I have decided not to venture out. OK we all know that I have to so, I am wearing my oilskins and hunters today. 

Its blowing a gale!!!

It is blowing a flipping gale this morning and I am supposed to go out in it? I chuffing well don't think so!  Oh shoot its Monday and I have to go to super swanky Lady Lainey office... nothing else for it, flatten mad orange afro under a beret and venture forth.

However before I do so lets see what's been happening in India since 4am UK time. Well England were bowled out for 406 before lunch Cook on 176 and Prior on 91 ( lets not forget overly hyped FIGJAM on 2, YES THAT WAS 2!!!!!). India need 77 to win the first test and England coaching side need to take a long hard look at the team. As we all know Bell is not available for the 2nd test, so I wonder who will step into his shoes. Good performances from Cook and Prior and also refreshing to see that good old Tyke Tim Bresnan scored more runs over the two innings than the 'greatest hope England has'!!! 39 runs to 19!!!

Sadly in Tyke footy land the Mighty Whites went down 1-0 against Millwall. not good.

Over in the USA LH won, and was unable to keep his trap shut and soak up the victory in silence. instead spouting out 'I wanted victory more than Vettel'......hmmmmm I Lady Lainey knows what he does want and a swift kick up the backside often does the trick!!! Baron Button flew up to 5th place and although he didn't make the podium he is always a winner in my eyes!.

As for what I Lady Lainey did yesterday.......well I  surfed the net looking for flights to go to see the Northern Lights, which is  hopefully my next big adventure, and then I  wrote my Christmas cards and organised my presents ready to be wrapped and sent of to Pere Noel ready for the big day!! Then I snuggled up on the sofa and spent the afternoon watching DVD's as it was flipping freezing cold.

So now I am wandering around looking like the 'Michelin man' with lots of layers of clothing on. And I am now ready to go off to work. Those boys had better have made my coffee or there will be BIG trouble.

Frosty and chilly

Flipping Frosty at Tykes Towers

Holy freezerooni, I got out of bed this morning and it was  frosty and cold!, so I quickly jumped back in and went back to sleep for an hour ( hence me writing this at 7.53am UK time!)

Yesterday was quiiet at Tykes Towers,I went to call for M'Lady Margaret and we 'popped' to the local shops for some supplies and then had a cup of tea and a chat.I then came back to the Towers and had a little nap.

Which is probably what the England team were being accused of ....being caught napping. They were all out for 191 in reply to India's 521-8. Bell was out for a duck, which begs the question, why was he playing when he is going to miss the 2nd test as he is flying home for the birth of his baby. You either are available to play all matches or you don't play at all ( Lady Lainey's thoughts!). And Bell  remember there are plenty of up and coming players knocking at the door! Someone open it please!!!!
 And so they followed on and sadly defeat is looming. Pieterson and Bell fell in successive balls ( at least Bell got 22). Pieterson on whom lots of people are pinning their hopes scored 2!!! So once again I lady Lainey sit back and wonder why I am not up there with the selectors!! The only cheery point of this whole shabby show is that Cook is on 126 no out as I type.


And so it is with a very smiley face that I can announce that the Blades ( Sheffield United)  won 4-1 against Stevenage. Shaun Miller scoring twice  which takes them up to second in the league. Flipping heck I think that Sir Sean of Bean and Lady Lainey must be the happiest people outside of Sheffield!!

However over in Brum, Birmingham City lost to Hull and cousin Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo was playing. So come on boys lets get back to winning ways.


The Mighty Whites are in action today so #coyl!!

Over in America for F1 Vettel is on pole. And he will win the title if he scores 15 points more that Alonso in this race. Baron Button is down in 12th place but I know that he will drive jolly fast and hopefully will be on the podium. His team mate ( and I use that term loosely) is making headlines for other reasons, after the FIA had asked drivers to tone down their language on the podium when they are interviewed. HE goes one better by having H.A.M on his helmet. ( which apparently stands for 'hard as a m*****f*****). Now I wonder would you want your children to look up to someone who does something so senseless. No me either!!! And obviously he thinks he is above being reprimanded. Why is it that some sports men  ( a certain footballer JT, a cricketer KP and LH) think that they are free to do and say what they want. #toobigfortheirboots!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gosh its Sunday morning and I was off on a full scale rant there, I don't know some boys make me jolly cross. So with no further ado I think I will get make myself some breakfast and calm myself down.

have a super Sunday where ever you are.

Can I be bothered.....................



Tired Lady Lainey

........to actually get out of bed today, I am jolly well 'cream crackered'!!! But I think that it is  only very lazy 'sausages' that stay in bed all day when there is wind, rain and worse, to go out in. So I guess that I will throw myself into the shower and take a trip out, I might call for M'Lady Margaret and see if she wants to come out to play for an hour or so.

Well at the test ( yes TMS woke me up again at 4am), India were 521-8 and England are currently 140- 7 (7.27am UK time). The Indian spin bowlers tore through England and even the 'one man England team' could not put on a flamboyant show to prove his critics wrong ( or right as it might well be!!!) , being bowled for 17. England had lost 4 wickets before lunch. Well I will really keep my thought to myself until the end of the test when I will give a personal match review. And so England appear to be destined to follow on in this first test. For once I agree with Geoff Boycott that questions remain over the England's ability to play spin.

Today the Tykes  teams will be flipping well  kicking a pigs bladder around  in Sheffield, as the Blades are home to Stevenage, however The Mighty Whites are not in action until tomorrow.


I am all booked to spend the weekend just before Xmas with Countess Culshaw and Sir Samuel, we are having our 'christmas party' at Leeds Bradford Airport. Not every ones cup of tea but when you are 5years old and like planes  ( Sir Samuel NOT Lady Lainey) its ideal!!! The hotel is just across the road from the airport so hopefully we can have a great time plane spotting.


Dame Didi has not been too well since our wild weekend in Manchester and so I am sending my magic 'get well' powers and hopefully she will not fall down anymore and be back to normal as soon as possible, ( which is more than can be said for my dressing gown Didi!!!)

Count Christophe text me yesterday when I was on my way to super swanky Lady Lainey office as he had been reading the exploits of his beautiful, funny, intelligent , besty ,Auntie Lady Lainey  in the world. Well Christophe reading about it is one thing, you should try flipping well living it!.


bon journee!!

And so its Friday



Sir Samuel is a cheeky little sausage!!!

Gosh almighty!!! Well there's another birthday gone for another year!!!  And after 5 terrible years due to various events family and home based, I am now drawing a line underneath it all and today is the first day of new life for I, Lady Lainey.

As you can see I got a fabby new coaster for my desk at super swanky Lady Lainey office from Countess Culshaw and the gorgeous Sir Samuel ( my last hope for a cricketing star). They also sent me lots of other lovely things that Lady Lainey needed, new address book ( for new life  start), super blinking fabby diary for next year and a stunning angora cardigan which is so super soft it's unbelievable. So a super big thank you to them for everything. also to Dame Didi, Count Christophe, and Rt Hon Richard, and to everyone for lovely cards and pressies and messages on Facebook.

A big thank you to his Royal Ryanness who didn't appear with a giant massive bouquet of white flowers but did tweet and retweet. , so he is in the good books and not on the naughty step.
 Also The Duke of Adelaide very cheekily asked how old I Lady Lainey was, well 21 of course!!! You are a very cheeky boy.

Over in India, ( yes my radio goes off at 3.30am with TMS on to gently wake me up) England are struggling to dismiss India, and they are currently 6.39am UK time on 410-4. Swann being the bowler in question yesterday. Not sure what to say really  tough to comment on the England team. I think that they need to get their first innings out of the way and then we can get the feel of how the team look. At the moment they are being totally outplayed by a strong India batting side. One thing I can say being woken up by Geoff Boycott...............................not my idea of fun!!!!


In the  pit lane LH has dismissed comments last weekend by McLarens team boss that he regrets going. Of course he doesn't regret it, Mercedes are giving him 'loadsa money' so why stay !!!!  McLaren will move on well next season and Baron Button will move back up to where he belongs.


NORTH EAST WEATHER WATCH.

Well I can hardly blinking well see out of the windows of Tykes Towers let alone survey the extensive grounds! It is jolly flipping foggy ( or froggy as Little lord Memphis, Countess Christine of Mc Nally's grandson says). The forecast is for it to remain over cast and misty most of the day and temperatures not getting above 9c so my advice for today is. Pull the bally duvet back over your head, go back to sleep and wake up in March when hopefully the weather is a little bit warmer.

And so although I want to crawl back into my bed, listen to TMS and drink gallons of coffee, I must wend my weary way to super swanky Lady Lainey office, BUT it is Friday and let the weekend begin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


A bientot.

Happy Birthday Lady Lainey

Even Google wished me Happy Birthday!!!

Joyeux anniversaire
Joyeux anniversaire
Joyeux Anniversaire Lovely funny besty Lady Lainey in the whole bally world
Joyeux Anniversaire



Whoop di flipping dooo its my birthday and I am super bouncy excited. I have opened some of my pressies already and some cards and I cannot believe that I got a beautiful silver Concorde charm to go on to my bracelet. Its the best. I also got my favourite perfume and a large strawberry planter ( and woe betide any slugs or birds or other fauna that try to get them), plus lots of girly things that I Lady Lainey love.

I am so excited because it is my birthday that I can hardly get ready to go to super swanky Lady Lainey office, even though I have no intention of doing any work ( 'No change there then' Job the Jolly). I am waiting for the bang on the door to announce the arrival of Sir Sean of Bean or better still Gillespie the Gallant and his Royal Ryanness with my super giant massive bouquet of white flowers. They had better hurry or I will be in the Lady Lainey limo racing off to work...............or maybe they are going to surprise me there????


Well apart from it being my birthday ( in case you didn't know) it is also the first day of the 1st Test in India and, India are at this moment 6.32am  UK time in batting with the score standing at 120-0. Super Tyke Tim Bresnan is in the team but noticeable exclusions are Joe Root and Jonny Bairstow, well next time hopefully.



NORTH EAST WEATHER WATCH

Who cares what the weather is like today, its my birthday!!!!!


Thanks to Yorkshire CCC and Club Yorkshire who both tweeted Happy Birthday to me, it really has made my day.

Also happy 1st Anniversary to Gillespie the Gallant, exactly one year as super best coach for super besty team in the world. Jason, you have done all  Tykes proud, Yorkshire are now a force to be reckoned with.

Now off to put on some slap, twirl my curls and get ready for my bouquet delivery!!!!! Hope I am not tooooo disappointed.

And finally just in case you missed it, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Little Lady Lainey 

Happy Wednesday

Well its Wednesday already and half way through the working week ( flipping good job as I, Lady Lainey am well and truly knackered). So I am hoping that super swanky Lady Lainey office is not harbouring anything 'nasty' for me when I finally make it to my desk. Yesterday went much the same as Monday too much work, too little time to look pretty!!!!. And if they think that they are getting an ounce of work out of me tomorrow ,well.......................  I am way to much of a Lady to put my thoughts into words ( well there is a first time for everything!!!!).


Well in cricket land yesterday it was a  Test record day. Chris Gayle hit a six  with the opening ball of the match against Bangladesh. It was the 2051st  Test  since the first match  in 1877. Sadly Gayle,known for his flamboyant style of play was out for 24. In his Test career he has scored 84 sixes which places him  joint 6th on the all time list. Well done that man.

Over in India I doubt any such amazing feats will take place, Finn is certainly out for the Test although Broad is looking hopeful. The press are saying that 'we' need Panesar, I, Lady Lainey say that we need a team that doesn't 'break down' all the time!!! Tim Bresnan has been spoken of as replacement to Finn, which leaves me stunned as Bresnan is England leading wicket taker this tour, surely Finn should be the replacement for  Bresnan???? Just a thought!

And its a funny old world in footy, MK Dons are to face AFC Wimbledon in the next round of  FA Cup matches. They are one and the same are they not????? Well OK they used to be!!!

And finally after Dame Didi told me that she couldn't believe her ears when F1 drivers were swearing when interviewed on the podium, ( Yep some of the language would have made Lady Lainey's hair curl even more) . The drivers have been warned to watch their language. The FIA have issued a demand for the drivers ( not naming anyone, Sebastian Vettel and Kimi Raikkonen) not to use inappropriate language. ( flipping heck and  'what the Donald Duck are allowed').


NORTH EAST WEATHER WATCH


Well after a very mild day in the North East of Blighty yesterday, today will be much the same with the possibility of sun ( shades out everyone!!) It will be a little bit breezy  on the coast ( so no lip gloss girls as your hair will stick to it, never a good look!). I am putting on my thermal vest 'just in case'.


And so now off to do some work, shout at 'boys' drinking gallons of coffee and get myself over excited about TOMORROW!!!!!!!!

Not work again!!!

Well I was finally brought down to earth when I walked into my office yesterday and the 'boys' had piled heaps of work onto my desk, now I Lady Lainey know that you go to the office everyday, look pretty, do a bit of work, look pretty, drink gallons of coffee, look pretty, go home. So going in to my office and not even being able to see my keyboard was not a good start to the working week. So today I am donning my 6th form tie and Prefect badge ( see above)  and woe betide the boy that over steps the mark today, and who doesn't get my coffee quick sharp!! Naughty step for him!!!

So after the excitement of Concorde this weekend I am coming back into land, and now looking  forward to my next visit. I can feel the excitement mounting!!

Some  sporty news and reports coming through that Lance Armstrong has resigned from the board of the Livestrong cancer charity that he founded in 1997. It just seems to be looking worse for him every day.

Over in the pits of F1, HRT are looking for any team to  buy them.

Over in cricket land super news that Worcestershire have signed Graeme Cessford,  Graeme made appearances for the 2nd X1 and was then approached with a contract. Nothing strange so far you may be saying, however Graeme is in The Royal Air Force, who have allowed him the time to play during 2013 season and resume service when his contract ends. He will combine playing with a public relations role for the RAF. Brilliant news for both 'teams' and good luck Graeme.


NORTH EAST WEATHER WATCH


Well this morning as I prepared to venture out to the garage n my dressing gown, I was super surprised when I opened the door, not to be met with icy blasts of wind or rain, but by very mild temperatures. In fact although there is not much chance of sun today there should be no rain and top temps of 13 c. Woooo hooo its bikini weather ( actually I don't think it was as hot as that in the summer). OK its probably 'leave your thermals off today' weather. So make the most of it as who knows what tomorrow will bring.

And so with that I bid you a good day and toddle off to super swanky Lady Lainey office.


OK and finally one more Concorde picture

Back to the grind!!!

AMAZING!!

Well after the most amazing time on G-BOAC  and a fab evening out in Manchester it is back to reality and back to work today. Dame Didi and I went shopping yesterday and managed to snap up a few more Christmas presents which made the weekend even better, now it is back to super swanky Lady Lainey office and  shouting at the boys.

My fantastic visit to Concorde ( Alpha Charlie) is something that I will never forget, in fact we are booking to go again it was that amazing. We even got to go on the flight deck sit in the Captains chair. 

However there are way too many photos to show and as I am a Concorde Geek, I would flipping hate to bore you silly with all of them, but this was an amazing tour and we also got to see an A380 the largest aircraft in the world ( at this time).

With a day of remembrance yesterday it is now  down to a round up of the crickety and other sporty news.

In India England drew in their match with Haryana. The one man England team came in to play after retiring hurt in the opening innings, but was out for a duck. Good old Tyke Tim Bresnan took 2 wickets, so well done that man.

Broad and Finn will not be played on Thursday ( the birthday of super dooper Lady Lainey)unless they are 100% match fit  and Graeme Swann is set to return to India today after flying home to visit his baby daughter.We all have our fingers crossed here at Tykes Towers that she continues to make a full recovery.

Footy news,

Great to see that all the English football teams wore their poppies with pride.

Sheffield United lost 1-0 against MK Dons, come on you Blades what the Donald duck are you playing at?????

And you could ask the same question of the Mighty Whites who  were taking on  Watford...........oh deary deary me losing to Watford is bad enough, losing 6-1 to Watford is just tooo much. Socks to be pulled up and rejig of the team in order. Never would have happened in the days of Don, they obviously needed Billy , Norman and Gary. However seriously Leeds were down to 9 men after Jason Pearce was sent off and Rodolph  Austin broke his leg ( get well soon!) and Neil Warnock had used all of his 3 subs. Not a great day for the home fans. So onward to the next game.

Birmingham City drew 1-1 at Blackburn so not too bad from the boys there.

And so with a final picture of my super birthday treat , I set off to super swanky Lady Lainey office and face a birthday week of work, work, and more work!!!

Also who is that woman who keeps getting into the shots????? hahahaha its Dame Didi.

They shall not grow old

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun and in the morning,

We will remember them.

 

Sunday 11th November 2012

Super flipping sonic Saturday

Finally it is here and I have been awake since 5.00am!!! I am soooooooo excited, as today I am off to Manchester to go on Concorde!!! Not actually flipping flying on it, ( as you know they no longer fly) but actually getting on board and being allowed onto the flight deck ( the only Concorde that you are allowed to ). So at 1pm today I will be on board Concorde  G-BOAC  ( Alpha Charlie) and can't wait. I think that I will have to go and wake Dame Didi up so that we can get going.



Well over in India Haryana were on 256-7 in their first innings against England. However now Matt Prior has taken ill (WTF is going on!!) , Steve Finn was in the nets yesterday so that seems to look a little bit hopeful for Thursday. Still no word on the one man England team, so assuming he is OK and not seriously injured.

A great boost for cricket in general is that the a team made up of Serving British Military Personnel have been touring Pakistan. The first time that British cricketers have been there since 2009. Pakistan fielded a team of International players and our boys took the wickets of 3 test players. This is a great cricket moment and congratulations to our the British Boys especially on this Remembrance Weekend.


Word from the pit lane, Martin Whitmarsh believes that LH has regrets about his move from McLaren. Well I for one am jolly well not sorry, money is often a great motivator. Martin Whitmarsh also said that he feels that LH was time to leave the nest. McLaren had made him an offer, more than is believed any driver is on at the moment, so obviously Mercedes offered more. However in the honest opinion of I, Lady Lainey he just didn't like being in the shadow of the lovely Baron Button.


And so I am now off to hop in the shower wash the orange curls and get ready to go off on my birthday treat tour of Concorde.

                                 How I normally saw Concorde when I was commuting on the M4!!!

One day to go.........



Something pretty for Friday

Yippdiskip its OK

'Cos at last its Friday!!

Only one more 'getty up' until I go away for the weekend with  big sister Dame Didi. I am super excited and have packed my bag a million times ( we are only going away for one evening). This time tomorrow I will be fair bouncing off the walls because I am soooo excited or have had too much sugar on  my corn flakes!!!

The cricket over in India was high scoring to say the least. England were  521 all out. Figjam retired hurt on 110( is he in doubt all ready????? So much hype !!!). Patel put on  67 which is strengthening his place on the test team ( in my book at least) and Cook opened with 97.
So lets look at the facts........ 3 of the team are now injured and 2 are not playing next week!  What is going on????


Great news on the Wiggo front with the exception of broken ribs and  dislocated finger he is OK and was discharged from hospital.

Super sporty news for the weekend is


The Blades are away to MK Dons.

The Mighty Whites are home to Watford

Birmingham are  away to Blackburn



NORTH EAST WEATHER WATCH

It will be mainly  overcast  today so best to wear something jolly bright so that you will be seen!!  There is not expected to be any sun peeking through the clouds, but you could still wear your shades to make you look slightly mysterious ( or a complete nutter!!!). The wind will be very blowy and jolly flipping chilly but you will not be needing your wellies today, however thermals are still de rigueur. And in my office essential as Pony Paul insists on having his desk fan going all the time!!!!

And so I wish you a fun Friday and roll on the weekend

List made, now fingers crossed.....



On my wish list?

Whoopdi doooo this time next week it will be the birthday of moi, Yorkshire born besty cricket fan, Auntie/sister in the world, Lady Lainey. I am soooooo excited, I love my birthday. I have made a little list of some things that I would like

• Sir Sean of Bean
• HUGE bouquet of white flowers delivered by Gillespie the Gallant and his Royal Ryanness
• Yorkshire life membership ( actually a years membership would suffice)
• Ticket to the First test next Thursday( and plane ticket and hotel)
• Case of Perrier Jouet Belle Epoque Rose ( just for me !!)
• House in the Champagne region !!!

I actually don't think  I stand a cat in hells chance of getting any of those, so I would like a card from my nephews and a flipping  big fattening cake. As well as a 'typical' weekend away with the Dame.

The England team  are in action today  (4pm GMT). however Graeme Swann has had to fly back to the UK as his daughter is ill, our thoughts are with him and his family. He has said that he will be returning for the first test so fingers crossed. This is actually quite good as it looks as if we will be without Finn and Broad, and Ian Bell will be away for the 2nd test as he will be flying home for the birth of his baby. Well what can you say!!

Other sporty news
'Wiggo' is in hospital after being knocked off his bike near Wigan, you wouldn't want to be that car driver would you????

In footy Rod Stewart ( YES!!! Rod Stewart) burst into tears when Celtic beat Barcelona. Well I know how he feels I got like that a lot towards the end of the cricket season with my beloved Tykes!!!

NORTH EAST WEATHER WATCH

Well it is cold but dry here in the north east of Blighty and my advice is even if you see the sun shining through the office window DO NOT be lulled into a false sense of security. It is still flipping freezing outside.
Outfit of the day.... woolly tights, boots and warm jumper and skirt, topped off with a coat and scarf and gloves ( I am avoiding the hat today it is playing havoc with my orange curls!).



On this day

8th November

1431 Vlad  the Impaler was born

1847 Bram Stoker was born

1976 Brett Lee Super Australian bowler born
1987 Australia beat England by 7 runs to win the Cricket World Cup


Have a great day were ever you are and I hope that it is warm!!!

Excitement is mounting

Its Wednesday!!!! and now only 3 more 'getty ups' until I go off for my supersonic weekend with Dame Didi. With the exception of having nothing to wear, I am really looking forward to our mad weekend away.

I called in to see my Aunt/Godmother Betty Boop after work the other evening, she hasn't been too well of late. We had a natter about whether I see Former Lord Lainey now that I am in Tykes Towers which is around the corner from former marital home  'Toners Folly'. I said that I had glanced him once but luckily I had not seen him since. We chatted on along the lines

Auntie Betty Boop  Are you courting? ( google it if you don't know the meaning)

Lady Lainey  You must be flipping joking

Auntie Betty Boop   Would you get married again

Lady Lainey   Yes after I have performed a frontal lobotomy on myself

Auntie Betty Boop  Would you live with a man

Lady Lainey Not a chuffing chance, too much hassle and they leave the toilet seat up!

Auntie Betty Boop  Yes that's how I feel, I don't think that I want to get married or live with a man again either. Not now that I am 83.

I, Lady Lainey drive home wondering if Auntie Betty Boop would have considered it at 82????? 

She also gave me the good news that I can go out and buy a super massive big hat as cousin The Great Gibson is getting married in April. Woooohooooo party!!!! I am super bouncy excited, I love a good wedding as long as its not mine, or Dame Didi's!!!



My Tyke football teams were kicking a pigs bladder around last night

The Blades  drew 0-0 against Swindon

The Mighty whites lost 1-0 to Burnley


And over in Brum

Birmingham City  beat Bristol 2-0


In India the murmurings  are that Joe Root may make his test début and open the batting next week, now that should be news worthy on my Birthday! However there appear to be about 3 millions other names being banded about to open the innings so lets just wait and see.

Australia are laying down the gauntlet already, Stuart Law saying that their Ashes preparation is well under way. ( Big  Swallow) I think they mean business!!!

NORTH EAST WEATHER WATCH

6.22am  North East of Blighty 7/11/12

At the moment it is damp due to some over night rain, and there may be showers during the day. There is absolutely no chance of temperatures being bikini weather and so I would advise, thermals, 2 jumpers and a pair of wellies and an umbrella in the boot of the car just in case. Hat, scarf and gloves are essential..

And finally over in America Barack Obama was re-elected as President.

Tuesday no real sporty newsday!



Frizzy  orange afro...never a good look

Well after a super nights sleep I Lady Lainey am feeling nearly human, and so I hope that I will continue to feel like this as Dame Didi and I are off for a fabby weekend away. I am sooo excited I can hardly contain myself and its only Tuesday!! I am so bouncy with excitement that I keep knocking my tiara off and I am trying not to have to buy a new one until the New Year.

I am also trying out various products to try to stop my orange afro turning into a massive frizz ball everytime the weather is a tiny bit damp. I tell you I am tempted to shave the whole flipping lot off however I doubt that the Yul Bryner look will be very fetching on me ( the frizz ball look is not much better!!). What on earth is a Lady to do? I wonder how his Royal Ryanness combats frizz? Maybe I will tweet him and ask, OK maybe not.

Also on the agenda was sorting out the journey plan for the weekend ( with a map as I do not subscribe to lazy driving with a Sat Nav) and that is all in hand. Dame Didi was out yesterday looking for something to wear to our big adventure, I have no idea what I am wearing and this will be a cause of extreme concern by Friday if I don't find something, the pretty frock that I had bought is a tad tight as I have had one too many bars of chocolate and so it will be diet all the way until Xmas after this weekend.


There is not much to report on the sporty front

The Blades are playing Swindon this evening

The Mighty Whites are away to Burnley

and the England cricket team  match against Mumbai A was a draw and they are not playing again until 8th November. Broad has bruised his heel and is being rested! (I flipping bruise my heels ever time I buy a new pair of Jimmy Choos but I can't put my feet up I have to totter valiantly on). I don't know??? What are boys made of these days????? Big softies that's their problems I blame the mothers!!! Spare the rod and all that, look what happens!! Dame Didi take note!!!

Today here in the North of blighty there is no frost on the ground and the weather forecast says that there will be no rain ( hurrayyy only a semi bad hair day), I am hoping that super swanky Lady Lainey office is slightly warmer than yesterday, I was sure that I heard polar bears in the toilet.


Holy flipping tiara twiddling, Baroness Burphy ( besty neighbour of Dame Didi) is only going to Chateau Saltburn this evening to show the Dame how to 'updo' her hair for her new tiara ready  for the weekend! I had jolly well better crack on trying to tame the birdsnest orange curls so that my new tiara sits properly.