What day is it?????

OMG!!!! I feel like there is a hammer in my head!!! I cannot even face a tiny cup of coffee let alone the bucket I normally consume first  thing in the morning. I am well and truly hungover!!!!

I was pottering around doing all things Lady Laineyish last evening, chatting on the phone, putting the washing in, when at about 9.30pm my mobile rang it was Miss Babs, old friend from days in Darlo. She was coming through to Lady laineyville with Tezza her other half and could she pop in whilst he went to meet some chums. All good I hear you say, well it turned into an evening like we used to have at LT Towers.

2 bottle of Merlot later and I cant remember her going home. Tezza must have collected her ( well she wasn't here this morning). What I do know is that I am NEVER EVER EVER , doing it again!! I feel terrible!!!

However Chris Rushworth will not be feeling terrible today ( apart ftom the fact that he isn't drinking for the whole of 2014) as he took 3-19 last night in Durhams T20 Blast came against Nottinghamshire. The match was a low scoring one, and Durham won by 3 runs. Well done to them.

Over at the 'Home of cricket' Headingley, Aaron Finch was out on the field for my Tykes in their T20 match against Derbyshire. However his debut was overshadowed by Alex Lees who hit his first T20 half century which helped the Vikings to an impressive eight wicket victory.
Finch hit the only six of the game but fell for 19.
The win is the Tykey Vikings first of the T20 Blast series.


Lancashire announced yesterday that they are bringing back Fatty Freddie Flintoff. For the love of dogs!!! WTF!!!!   He told Radio 5 ' I feel young, I behave young'. Well there you have it!!! Totally deluded..  Bums on seats for Lancs I suppose.

The ECB have apologised to 'he who must not be named in this blog' over comments about his attitude in the Ashes Series,. Holy moly, he'll be back in the England team soon!!!
There is way too much being written about this man. He is serious not worth the time or effort.

Oh well ibuprofen and mineral water are calling for me and also I might just hop back into bed for an hour (or three).

So until tomorrow................................

It's F(ryan)day but is he on the mend??????

So it is finally F(ryan)day and although we have only worked for four days it has been the longest week in history!!

This is due mainly to the fact that I am still waiting on the condition of His Royal Ryanness's hamstring. Yes after announcing that he was going for a scan, Yorkshire CCC have not released any further information!
I have got my very worried head on as I am not liking no news.

However to take my mind off it, I went off to The Riverside last night with Mr Funky the chauffeur and Pauly Paul, who were playing up BIG STYLEY!!!
I had gone straight from work so was in skirt and stiletto ankle boots! Meaning walking up and down stairs was not something that I really wanted to do. If I asked them once, I asked them 100 times if they would get 'drink for Lainey' to which they both answered 'NO!'
What is the world coming to? I had to sit until 'half time' and then go and get a drink for myself. It was a long walk in 3.5in stilettos!!!

Durham were taking on Lancashire and after Lancs' Tom Smith had taken lots of wickets against my Tykes earlier ion the week,he was out of the running in the final cut of  the now famous, soon to be published book 'Cricketers Posteriors'. However once I was seated on the boundary with him in front of me I reneged on my decision and got my camera out!. However As there was no Oliver Newby in the line up I found a new boy in Jordan Clark.

But back to the cricket, Durham were bowling and  seemed to be making short work of the visitors innings, they closed on  133-6. However when Durham went into bat Stoneman and Mustard failed to put on the runs expected of them and once again Calum MacLeod ( there can be only one!) played brilliantly! scoring 45 but getting himself out to a silly shot! ( even I wondered what he was doing).

Durham needed to really pull something out of the bag and it appeared that they were going to.................. they needed four runs off the last ball, the crowd were going wild, Pasha was barking  her head off ( which was very funny to see, little dog peeping over the boards barking for all she was (Rush) worth). However it was not to be, Pringle could only manage 2 runs and Lancashire won..

So back home to Tykes Towers and bed for me.

Tonight sees my Tykes in action with new boy Aaron Finch, I hope he lives up to the hype.

And finally 'He who must not be named in the blog' is not fit to play for Surrey ( understatement) in their T20 Blast fixture due to a finger injury ( broken nail?). Well he has to be fit for the CPL now doesn't he???  KERRRCHHIINNNG!!!!!!!!


Until tomorrow when hopefully there will be Ryan news.

Bon Journee et Bon weekend!

Tired old Thursday

The Hooligans

So its Thursday, it's nearly the weekend and it is still wet outside!!! Well the corkscrew ringlets will be even more ringletty today, that is a certainty.

Another certainty is that  Cousin Right Hon Hooligan Robbo is going to have very sore legs, and so is the Rt Hon Hooligan Wife Robbo. Why you may be asking? well they are only doing a charity bike ride from Birmingham to Watford. This is to help raise funds for  for The Ollerenshaw family who very tragically lost their daughter Molly to cancer.

They will be cycling from Mollys school in Birmingham to Paul's old school in Watford a total of 125 miles. I for one, wish them the very best of luck ( you wouldn't flipping catch me doing it!).

The Ollerenshaw family set up 'Molly Olly's Wishes' a charity which grants wishes to children with life shortening or terminal illnesses.
If you would like to donate just check out the 'Molly Olly wishes' website or justgiving page.

Well done to the Hooligans for doing this.

So Rain was not on the side of either I, Lady Lainey or cricket yesterday, both Yorkshire and Durham had to settle for draws due to the large amount of water that was falling out of the sky, however it gave the boys a chance to watch England beat Sri Lanka in the ODI and also catch a spot of 'Flog It' and ' Murder she Wrote'......................................


.........................................however still in the Yorkshire camp, there was an announcement that his Royal Ryanness WILL be having a scan on his hamstring. Well that sort of threw my day into more chaos than it was already in!
I am trying not to be too concerned, and am sure that he will be back on the field in no time ( I am really hoping)

Tzarina Katerina was in fine from last evening, recounting stories of her hols in Madeira and upcoming cruise to New Orleans ( hope there are no hurricanes). She seemed to be full of the joys and so much so that she gave me a super massive fabby pressie for my stay at Headingley in July!!! OMG I was not going to take the offer but then thought 'What the heck'. so I am super flipping excited to say the least!


So today I am off to super swanky Lady Lainey office and MORE piles of paperwork which just keep appearing out of nowhere! This is not on!!! I do not get paid to sit at my desk and work, I get paid to sit at my desk and look pretty, every 'eedjit' knows that!!!

So I guess that I should just go and get on with the job in hand....................until my new job well and truly kicks in.

It's midweek already!!! Now that's good!

Well it's not sunny here in Ladylaineyville in fact it is raining, but I am full of beans this morning ( no not literally). Why am I so bouncy this morning......................well why the devil not? Better to be bouncy happy than sad and gloomy ( which I have been  a lot of ,of late). And the new job is just round the corner so keep your eyes peeled.

so for all things cricket, well My Tykes went out to play and made 245, with Lancashire's Tom Smith taking 5-49. Adam Lyth hit 50 and Captain Gale was left stranded on 95 not out. However His Royal Ryanness did come into bat ( which calmed all my worries for his fitness) and was at the crease for 40 minutes putting on 9 runs.

When my boys came back onto the field, zut alors!! sacre bleu! NON RYAN!!!! ( pretty frantic by this time). Obviously best not to have him bowling and get him properly match fit.
Timmy Bresnan decided that he would just go for it, and he did taking 3-9. What a boy!!!
The visitors closed on 48-3, 130 tuns ahead. Hopefully the rain stays away today and Timmy has his 'wicket taking' head.
#COYT

Small postscript to the piece above. Tom Smith had been photographed for 'Cricketers Posteriors'  ( as yet unpublished) needless to say that he may now be omitted!!!

Durham were still soldering on at Northampton, with the weather which has not been kind to them at all ( although it the sun did shine mighty strongly on moi on Sunday). Gordon Muchall hit his first ton in 3 years and took Durham closed on 335-4

Well the 'boys' were all back and the office was full of nappy talk and all things baby. Luckily I was having a mini breakdown as I had broken a nail, was worrying about Ryan and had a flipping pile of paperwork to get through, so I managed to switch off. Yes it will all end in tears come teething time.

Baby Pony Paul is however the most beautiful little girl with the longest hair I have ever seen on a baby!

And so as it is now midweek and I still have lots to do before the weekend I think that I had better get a wriggle on.

Its cool, its wet, its grey, but hey its a cricket day so make the most of it.

Why can't it be Bank Holiday Tuesday?

Well it can't be, is the answer and I have to go back to super swanky Lady Lainey office where I have a full deck of boys today as 'paternity' leave comes to an end.

So as I normally chose a picture of his Royal Ryanness to cheer me up, I decided to have a bit of a change and dip into the unedited pictures from my yet to be published book 'Cricketers Posteriors' And today we have Lancashire's Oliver Newby!!!

So I was back at Tykes Towers yesterday after my little jaunt and to be honest I had about as much enthusiasm to do any work as I normally have. I NEED STAFF!!!!!!

However I got on and did washing, cooking, housework and then had a nap...........................only to wake up the shocking news that Ryan was off the field at Headingley with a sore hamstring. OH NO!!!! PANIC, 631 FC wickets and needing to take more.  had my very worried head on!!!!

Worse was to come later as Gillespie the Gallant issued a statement saying that they may scan his Royal Ryanness today if the soreness has not decreased. And that they have to take care of him. OMG full scale panic mode. Thoughts of two seasons ago came flooding back. Hopefully if they rest Ryan for the remainder of this match he will be on the road to recovery.

Yorkie update on the cricket, Plunkett and Brooks bowled brilliantly.

All this panic and worry was not doing me any good, and as I was not concentrating on what I was doing, I managed to slice my finger open and only realise when I sat down on my bed and then saw a massive splodge of blood appear on my clean white bedding!!!!! So had to change the bed (again) and then put the washing machine on (again). Dame Didi had done much the same on Sunday however she had to go to hospital as her finger wouldn't stop bleeding.

Luckily after a lot of dabbing and pressing and a 'My little pony' plaster my finger finally stopped bleeding and  I  went off to the land of nod

In Nottingham, Durham were not having a great day. I had left there yesterday morning and it was sunny, however  rain affected the match which closed  with Durham on 78-2. Stuart Broad was bowling for Notts and did not really live up to his overinflated reputation. No doubt he will be crocked by the end of match.

And so now I am off to the office and woe betide any 'boy' who makes me chuffing cross today, I have lots on my mind and am not standing for any nonsense.

Think its going to be a grim week! Soooooo

 better have a picture to really cheer me up!

A wonderful day

So I set off at stupid o'clock, to go to Nottingham.

After  doing a super loop around juncton 39 & 40 due to an accident and the inefficiant West Yorkshire Police, a kindly taxi driver showed me the way to junction 38 and I was back on track to get to Trent Bridge

However due to rain ( and there was alot of rain) the match was delayed. But when they went out to play, Chris Rushworth only took a wicket with his first ball. Top boy.

And then son of Top boy arrived and took great delight in 'lugging' my handbag around  

whilst making groaning noises. Very funny!!!!!! and probably very true as it is well 

documented in my blogs that the weight of my handbag triggered the seat belt warning in   

Tzarina Katerinas car, leaving me thinking that I had 'broken' her car after she had loaned it to me for a week!!

Durham removed the first three Nottighamshire batsman and seemed to be on fire, but then the home team hit back and put on over 350 runs before all out and end of play.

I however had the great delight to view all of this from the balcony of the Notts Committee Room whilst enjoying a G & T, and then from one of the hospitality boxes with wine and Guinness. woohoo great fun. Pasty was in great form as was Harry Latchmn who NEVER changes and has a wicked sense of humour.
Blossom Latchman and I laughed over our various roadtrips, mainly to France and the fact that we must have looked like international smugglers as we always got stopped coming home!!!!

It was well worth the journey just to see everyone and catch up. My old life came flooding back and memories of mad afternoons at Middlesex matches with Harry or being his 'caddy' at cricket golf days. Yes all great and fantastic times.

However  back to the here and now............

Housework and preparation for new job is underway as well as keeping an eye on my Tyke boys today. They were slightly thwarted by rain yesterday and His Royal Ryanness  had an appeal denied in his first over, so best keep n eye on all things Tykey today.


Just a quick word about the ODI at Chester le Street yesterday. Quick it was. England did not even make 100. Hmmmmmmmm what can I say. Lots I suppose but I won't.

So have a super Banmk Holiday whatever you are doing.

Off in Lady Lainey limo............

.....................on the long drive to Nottingham. And it is going to be a super cricket day today AND the weather forecast says that although there will be rain early, it will be warm as the day goes on!!!

I am off to meet Harry and Blossom Latchman and Mike 'Pasty' Harris, at Trent bridge. Champions of the world ( for the time being) are playing against Notts. So its a double whammy really.

I do at least get to see one days play.


My Tykes are taking on Lancashire in  'The War of the Roses' and although I am gutted to not be there I know that my boys will pull out all the stops to make me proud. 631 is his Royal Ryanness's first class wicket haul at this moment, so lets hope that he adds to it over the next four day.

#COYT


As for yesterday it was a bit of a wash our, and I mean that literally. After doing four loads of washing the heavens opened and now my smalls are drying in every room here at Tykes Towers. I also managed to finish the final bits of the office and now can breathe a sigh of relief that this room is FINALLY finished.
I had a brief nap and then the time ran away so quickly that it was bedtime before I knew it.

Now I am sitting here typing as quickly as my fingers will go, my hair is a mass of ringlets and I need to get showered and dressed and ready for the off!


It's going to be a long day so best get on the road.

Sorry that this is a short one today but M1 and cricket wait for no Lady so best get a wriggle on.


Now what to wear...................................

Lady Lainey makes it happen

Well I am waving my magic wand and making IT happen, NOOOOOO I am not finally marrying Sir Sean of Bean or Eric Cantona ( think his wife may have something to say about that), I am just  going to get on and do the things that I have been putting off.

1. Sort out laying the wicket in the extensive grounds of Tykes Towers

2.Clear out junk

3.Meet up with besty friends from the south Harry & Blossom Latchman!!!

YESSSSSS!!!! Tomorrow I am off to Nottingham to meet them. they are going to the Notts v Durham game and having a spot of lunch with Mike ( Pasty) Harris. Wooohooo great to catch up with them and an opportunity not to be missed.

However it does mean that I will now be in panic mode as heaps to do before I leave super early tomorrow.

I haven't seen H & Blossom for a couple of years and haven't seen Pasty  since he was umpiring at the inaugural test at Chester le Street ( yes the day my rear end was on Sky as I ran up the stairs to the dressing room). So a great day out although a long one!


It was a bit of a bad day for my Tykes yesterday as they were thwarted by the weather and didn't get to have a 'blast' at T20 in Birmingham. The match was abandoned without a ball being bowled.


Well, 'he who must not named in the blog' has been having his say regarding his sacking. He was 'fully motivated' to play in last winters Ashes tour. I have read his thoughts and know what it is like to wear rose tinted glasses ( wore them for years when I was with Lord Lainey). Whatever he says it makes no difference in my book. Team player???? no!


The fixing scandal trundles on and I fear that it will not die down before the end of out cricket season. #justgetworse


Well I am  tres late posting today as I had a little lie in whilst thinking about all the things I need to do today.
So off to twirl my curls, shave my legs in the bidet ( what else are they for???!!). Sort out something to wear tomorrow, measure up for the astroturf, do housework, have a nap............................... now that sounds good.


Hope you all have a good day and hope you are feeling a rad better today Dame Didi.


A tout a l'heure

Finally it is F(ryan)day

Oh thank goodness for F(ryan)day!!! It really has been a long old week, which has gone from highs ( in temperature) to lows ( in the amount of rain that has come down.) And finally it is the end of the working week, the weekend, and a Bank Holiday to boot!!!!!

Lots to do this weekend, but I am feeling a bit crocked today, actually felt the same last night, and it is probably due to 'germs' circulating around super swanky Lady Lainey office.

Bad news for Surrey ( no, not that 'He must not be named in the blog' will be coming back soon) Captain Graeme Smith is off home to South Africa with a fractured kneecap! He has been playing with the injury in the last few weeks but now he is off home for some serious recovery time. Here's hoping that he makes a full recovery.

Champions of the world and former besty home county of Durham were unable to make a recovery yesterday at Taunton and were also blighted by the weather. Which at times were hailstones the size of golf balls.  Somerset managed a seven wicket win, with Trescothick scoring  133. Its been a tough week for Durham. They lost three bowlers this week Jamie Harrison ( who is crocked more times than Stuart Broad) , Wood and Borthwick.  They are not looking in great shape at the moment.


A funny thing happened yesterday...............................England won a cricket match. OH YES THEY DID!!!! They  beat Sri Lanka  in the first ODI. Chris Jordan was the 'hero' of the match ( and you just know that he will turn to villain before the end of the season). My Tykey boys were in there too with Joey Root scoring 45 and Gary Ballance scoring 64. However rain had hampered the days play. England eventually won by 81 under the Duckworth Lewis method,


Well I am off to swallow a bucket of 'Buttercup syrup' and follow that with some 'cold and flu' tablets and then wend my very weary way to super swanky Lady Lainey office.

I can't even catch a nap as I still have lots to do before the long weekend.



Oh for the good old days when I could have a nap, shout at boys, have a nap, eat my lunch, have a nap.............................................................................

Well best get on my way, and it is grey and overcast here in Lady Laineyville so not boding too well for the weekend.

Botheration!!!!!

Wet stuff falling out of the sky!!!

Flipping heck, it is not just raining here in Lady Laineyville but it is fair monsooning it down, I wandered out into the extensive grounds of Tykes Towers this morning to put rubbush in the wheelie bin and got chuffing well soaked.

However it means that I do not have to water the plants tonight. BONUS!!!!

Meanwhile back at the cricket..............

..................Durham have been going some down in Somerset with Richardson hitting 116 and Stoneman 97 ( which is an improvement on previous scores), but I think that they are going to have to go some today to make an impression. Somerset closed on 112-0.


So  the 'Friendlies' continued for Yorkshire and they were in York last night, winning by 118 runs with his Royal Ryanness taking wickets ( not counting in his 700 challenge). They are playing these friendlies for Timmy Bresnans benefit year.

Jonathon Trott played for Warwickshire again last night for the first time in five weeks. He was playing in a T20 friendly against Shropshire. I personally think that he should have taken the season out to conquer his demons and then come back next year. Will he make it through the season now. I don't think he will.

Former besty county in the south, south Durham  Hampshire have gone top of the Division 2 table, now this is jolly good news for I,Lady Lainey who has high hopes of those Hants boys getting back into Division one next season. Poor old Derbyshire are bottom!


It's still raining outside 6.25am!!!


So I am off to super swanky Lady Lainey office today and hoping that I can finally get through a back log of emails for 'BIG JOB' in Birningham. It's a sorry state of affairs when I have to go to work and do work!!!!!.
We all know that my job is shout at boys, drink copious amounts of coffee or rooibos( depending if I am on my health kick or not), and look pretty for 7 hours.OK once in a while, I check my emails and tweak drawings, but flipping heck I have been having to do this for nearly 3 weeks!! Something dreadfully amiss here!

And plans for tonight, well after my 'yoga' experience I have decided to go back to doing circuits so will be taking part in that tonight, then trying to clear the spare room of shoe boxes after a mad shoe cupboard clear out last night. And finally an early night which I flipping well need as I am totally worn out........................................................................................but it is F(ryan)day tomorrow so time to get excited!!!!

Mid week yipppeeeee!!

Well it is Wednesday and I am guessing that both Job the Jolly and I will be pleased that it is midway to  the weekend. On Monday afternoon Jobbers asked what day it was???!!!! That was when I knew it was going to be a long hard week.

Yesterday for me was the usual round of verbal abuse from Trill Boy, silence ftom Job the Jolly and huge amounts of under his breath swearing from Dan Dan Cowboy Draughtsman. The verbal abuse and silence I can cope with ( I lived with both when I was married to former Lord Lainey), its the 'under his breath' swearing that makes me want to laugh. He thinks that no one can hear him!!!

So I guess that today will be much of the same as we are over worked and under staffed.


Well in Taunton yesterday, Durham were hanging around in the dressing room whilst the rain did it's worst, but once they went 'out to play', Mark Wood did jolly well taking 5-37 which kind of put a halt on Somersets charge and they finished on 234. In Durhams second innings they closed last night on 121-1 which is significantly better than their first innings total.
Chris Rushworth took 4 wickets and Jamie Harrison took one.

Good luck today boys and hope the weather holds.

My Tykes were out in Harrogate playing last night. Yorkshire won!!! However I guess that the people of Harrogate didn't mind, as the Spa town has been voted the 'Happiest Place to live in Britain'.
Well it is nice but can be a bit 'whiffy' if you walk behind the the The Royal Pump Room. Sulphur!!!! Well I suppose it made the town famous!!!

I have never tested the waters when I have been there, but have tested numerous other beverages!!!!


England were in action last night against Sri Lanka in a T20 match. However Sti Lanka looked in good shape and beat England by 9 runs. . Not a great start for the 'new and improved' England team, but hopefully they will improve as the season goes on ( yeah right!!!)


I am still a bit achy after my experience of yoga, however I am considering giving it another try.................................next week!!!!


Oh well off  for another funfilled day in super swanky Lady Lainey office!!!!

Lady Lainey does yoga!!!!!

OK I know that this blog is really devoted to all things cricket but I Lady Lainey decided to do yoga last night, to give me inner peace and calm........yeah whatever, to be honest trying to tie myself in a knot did not leave me feeling calm and this morning I am walking like John Wayne!

Let me start by telling you about 'downward facing dog', which in my case should be renamed 'downward facing bactrian ( google it if you don't know what it is!). Well I managed it...........just, but all the skinny minnies in the class seemed to be made of rubber where as I seemed to be made of steel! I eventually managed to 'downward face' and then found that most of my upper body was hanging out of my top!!! Well if you've got it flaunt it!

By the time I had 'saluted to the sun' I was ready for home and to be honest I do not think that I will be exposing myself ( literally) to the class again, although the way I ache this morning it must have done me some good or I have pulled every muscle in my body!!!

Even my fingers are hurting as I am typing this, is that normal???

Well Durham were down in Somerset and at 9.30 am yesterday morning they announced that Chris Rushworth had signed a deal with them to stay until 2017. This is super news....................however a move to Yorkshire would have been better. ( OK Joe I am joking) .


However this did not help them as they went into bat. I am not sure if there was something good on day time television, because Durham slumped to 24-4 so quickly that I hardly had time to catch up on Twitter. Maybe Bargain Hunt was a good one yesterday?
A fifth wicket stand between Captain Colleywobble and Scott Borthwick gave a glimmer of hope but they were eventually bowled out for 155!!

However when the hosts went into bat, Chris Rushworth only took Trescothicks wicket. And he went to back to the pavilion to watch 'Diagnosis Murder' after being out for a big fat duck.
Bad light and rain then set in and the day ended with Somerset on 51-2.
Come on Durham.


My Tykes were having a little friendly match at Sheffield. Well needless to say the Tykes won and  his Royal Ryanness took a wicket too!
Tonight ( weather permitting) they move onto Harrogate, and I sadly will not be attending as way to many  other things to do. BOO!!!!!

So after a blazing hot day yesterday. This morning is dawning grey and overcast with rain forecast!

And so I guess that I will be back to boots and trousers before the end of the week!!

Oh well another day......................................

It's going to be a scorcher!

Or so the weather forecasters say, and that could mean anything, also usually when they give out details like that they are talking about the South of Blighty, as they have probably never been north of Watford Gap.

However looking out of the window here at Tykes Towers, it is not raining so that's a plus point.


Today sees the boys of Former besty home county of Durham playing in Somerset. No pressure on Chris Rushworth but a couple of wickets would be good.

Besty home county of Yorkshire are playing 'friendlies' this week. All 5.30 pm starts and are in Sheffield tonight, Harrogate tomorrow and York on Wednesday. Now I had considered going down to Harrogate to watch the boys tomorrow after work, well its a look out, However his Royal Ryanness is not playing!!! Well I might just go anyway and cheer my Tykes on, as long as the weather holds. Now this implies I am a fair weather supporter, but that is far form the truth. I hate to think how many cricket matches I have sat through getting frostbite!

There were some pictures in the paper this morning of Shane Warne who appeared to be 'out on the pull' in Melbourne. YUKKY!!!! he looks as if his face is frozen, if he is an advert for Estee Launder I will stick with Superdrug thanks!!

So all in all yesterday was quite a productive day, I finally finished the 'office' and got most of the books back on the bookcase, I just have to rehang pictures and move some other bits of furniture around and its all done. Woohoo another room finished and its the flipping cricket season now.
I never got to sort out the cricket balls for my secret project but will do that this week and then I may have another job done!

The laying of the wicket is still on the agenda, but that is going to take some digging and to be honest I am not relishing that at all, however I need to get my little cricketers outside for the summer so no point in putting that project off either.

Well time and tide wait for no Lady so I am going to sort out my orange curls ( note to self do not go to bed with wet hair) and prepare myself for a full scale shout when I get to super swanky Lady Lainey office!

Have a great day

OH MY GOODNESS A LIE IN!!!

For those of you who log on early to read about the super exciting things I have been getting up to you will be wondering how come my blog wasn't up at 7-7.30am. Well I was still in the land of nod then and only woke up 5 minutes ago!! It is now 8.06am which means that I had a super long lie in this morning. Hmmmmm it has actually thrown me all out of my usual routine but never mind,

So I have had a quick flick through the papers and am now ready to go.

Well, well, well Mal Loye has spoken out about being  offered £20,000 by Lou Vincent to score less than 10 in a match. It happened back in 2008 when they were playing for Lancashire in a T20 match against Durham. Vincent had offered him £10,000 originally but upped the offer hours before the match took place. Loye refused the offer and was shocked that he had been approached.
Loye went on to say that he kept quiet about it although his mum, his then girlfriend and a couple of mates were privy to it. They told it to put it out of his mind and get on playing the game that he loved.

I think that this is just the tip of the iceberg, as far as the match fixing is concerned. Who will speak out next?


Yohan Blake to play cricket for Yorkshire? Watch this space.


So I went to Chateau Saltburn to see Dame Didi yesterday, the sun was shining and it was a beautiful day. Dame Didi and I made short work of 4 egg custards before  I  managed to get into my car and 'escape' without being spotted by The Burpheys. Now theres a first, they never miss anything.



So what am I doing today.

Well I am moving the bookcase in the 'office' and slapping the last of the paint on. Then I am off to get some cricket balls for my secret project.
And then this afternoon I am continuing to read my Autobiography of Gillespie the Gallant, before having a pedicure ( or maybe during who knows)

I will also be taking the opportunity of sunshine, to open wide every window in the house and give it a good 'blow through'



I hopr that you have a great day whatever you are doing

It's Saturday and it's sunny!!!!

Wooohoooo!!!! It's the weekend and it is super sunny already, I am about to get showered and ready and head off to the seaside, yes I am off to Chatrau Saltburn to see Dame Didi, it is only a flying visit but I am dropping off the things that she left at my house.

Then back home to Tykes Towers to get on with things......................like napping!

Yesterday was a busy old day at super swanky Lady Lainey office as I was trying to clear my desk of all the things that were piling up every hour.

Well hopefully by Tuesday things will have started to sort themselves out I will finally be up to date. Until the next batch of 'stuff' lands on my desk.

Last night I hit the road and headed off to The Riverside to watch the maiden flight of Durham Jets as they took on Worcestershire.
It was a perfect cricket evening with sunshine. Durham elected to bat and looked in trouble very quickly losing two early wickets. it's not been a good few days for Mark Stoneman who was out for 2 and Mustard out for 1. However Calum MacLeod ( 'There can be only one' and there was no sign of the 'Kurgan') hit a brilliant  80 which the newspaper hacks seem to have completely over looked instead swooning over the fact that 'Captain' Collywobby Collingwood hit 62. Durham closed their 20 overs on 173.

Worcestershire went into bat, but I was too busy 'Tweeting' Mr Funky ( who was sitting next to me) as he was posted very rude comments about moi on Twitter, just because I had spotted a new posterior for my yet unpublished book 'Cricketers Posteriors'. Yes Jack Shantry has made the pages of this wonderful tome.

Worcestershire, gave it a go but the Jets were stronger and won the match  after bowling them out for 144.

A great evening, finished of by coffee and a chat outside the 'Jets Bar' ( drinking hole formerly known as 'Austins').

Chester the Lion the Durham Jets Mascot also lost in the Mascot race, however he made me laugh so much that it was worth it!


Pauly Paul ducked out of the evening electing to entertain a young lady instead.....................hmmmmmm!!!!

However over at Headingley things were not going too well for my Tykey Vikings. The Tykes struggled early on  against Northamptonshire until Liam Plunkett and Timmy Bresnan pulled off some great batting to bring the core up to 162.

The Vikings went into have a bowl and I had huge hopes for his Royal Ryanness but sadly no wickets for him and it was looking tight. Ryan did run out Matthew Spriegal and it was looking as if they might just do it with four balls remaining however a massive shot from Ben Duckett took Northants to a victory.

Well my Tykey Vikings, it is early days in the competition.

So that's the cricket round up and now time to get moving as I head off to the seaside.

Fish and chips for lunch?

It's T20 F(ryan)day

Today sees the start of the T20 season and although I am not a huge fan of the game I see that counties can make money ( which most of them need) and it also brings in more children who can manage to stay awake for  a couple of hours rather than the four days. I however have been known to nod off during T20 matches and don't get me started about Mr Funky the chauffeur. He had a full scale sleep during one match!!!

So tonight I will be hot footing it up to The Riverside ( yes I know it is now known by another name but it is too stupid for words!) after work and cheering on Durham Jets........yes Durham Jets.

See I sometimes manage to sit on the Durham side of the fence ( only cos I couldn't get to Headingley).

So good luck to all teams playing tonight ( although more luck to some!)

There is still no word as to whether 'Fatty' Flintoff will be back in the T20 squad for Lancs. I am not the only person ( according to Twitter) who does not think it is a good move for him. However it will be a chance for him to see that he should have stayed in retirement.

Back at Durham things are not looking too good for Graham Onions as scans have shown that his back is not too well and he is going to miss a few games. Lets hope that it is only a few games and that he is on the mend soon.

 earlier  in the year I wrote about match fixing after it was reported that Lou Vincent the former New Zealand player was being interviewed in relation to match fixing. Well  it has now come to light that after agreeing a plea bargain to avoid prosecution Lou has lifted the lid on the fixing and has named names. Described as a 'treasure trove' of names this could well blow cricket away!

Cricket was once the game of gentlemen, now it appears that the gentlemen cheat too. I dread to think what will come out of this.

 So now time to head into super swanky Lady Lainey office and get some papers moved around my desk, twirl my curls, shout at boys ( if I can be heard over the din of Trill Boy) and look pretty for 7 hours...................................................and then go to watch cricket. A great end to the week!

It's warming up nicely

Wowweeeee it was super hot yesterday and I sat in the garden at super swanky Lady Lainey office at lunchtime. I wanted to read my book, but also 'got my legs out' to try to resurrect some of the tan that I picked up in France, Its fading rapidly!!! It was a bit of a lull in between the madness that is currently the office. Too much work, too few bodies!

Trill Boy came in with Trill Baby who is totally beautiful and got lots of loves and kisses and cuddles from her Auntie Lady Lainey.We are still waiting to see the Pony Paul pup, but she is a little poorly at the moment and is having a few more days in hospital. Get well soon Mia and come to visit us.

In cricket former home county of Durham had to settle for a draw against Sussex, but their 'temp' Kumar Sangakkara, signed off his spell with the boys by scoring 159. Durham ended on 451-7.

Its been a hard few days for the Durham boys. They appear to be dogged by injury doubts. Jamie Harrison is injured although from what he has been posting on social media he is having a great  time whilst on the sick! Graham Onions is a serious worry too

Onwards to the T20 on Friday evening then boys.


OMG Fatty Flintoff is on talks to make a T20 comeback for Lancashire, obviously  'Jacamo' have cancelled their contract with him! For dogs sake!!! Give it up!!!  I cannot believe that he is considering coming back, more to the point I cannot believe that Lancashire are considering taking him back.

Wonder if my Tykes will sign up Geoff Boycott next season or maybe Arnie Sidebottom??

Or Durham sign up Beefy ( who would probably do better than Flintoff)


Stupid, stupid, stupid and only headline seeking like his pal 'he who must not be named in this blog'.

Former besty home county in the South, Hampshire did win yesterday but were made to really work for it, the Glamorgan new boy Ruaidhri Smith took 3-38 including Jimmy Adams and then the lovely Michael  Carberry. However it was too little too late and Hampshire went  top of Division 2 , 11 points clear of Worcestershire.

So what will today be holding for moi.

Well lots of work to do at Super Swanky Lady Lainey and not much tome for looking pretty or shouting at boys. but hey its on temporarily and I will soon be back to my super bossy self and have a full compliment of boys to lord it over.

So until tomorrow which is the start of T20's up and down the country.................super excited!!!

It's my blog and I'll say what I want to!!!!!!

OH COME ON!!!!!!

You can't blame me for being super bouncy happy today!!! COME ON!!!! End of last season I was drowning my sorrows in a vat of 'Gros Plant' whilst back home in La Belle France after my Tykes lost the championship.

COME ON!!!

My Tykes played a blinder of a match yesterday and I for one am super flipping proud of 'my' boys.
So what happened??? Well in case you were travelling back from the moon yesterday you will by now know that Yorkshire completely 'stuffed' ( very technical cricket term) Warwickshire.
The morning started OK for Warks but they quickly folded when  Plunkett had Barker caught behind. The follow on ensued and then up stepped Jack Brooks.

I sort of knew that my work in super swanky Lady Lainey office was doomed as I was just 'watching' Twitter.Brooks was on fire, Yorkshire were on fire, my mobile was on fire ( well it was very hot!). And the Warwickshire collapse was inevitable......................until bad light and then rain stopped play!

OMG I was nearly having a heart attack. By the time I left for home I was unsure what was happening.

But they went back out and finished the match in true Yorkshire style.

To say that I am proud is an understatement.

Cracking game, cracking team, cracking best home county!!!!  Winning by an innings and 155 runs!!!!!

Top of the table this morning

#COYT


Former besty home county of Durham were not having such a fun time of it in Hove though. They lost Mark Stoneman for 1 and then managed to battle back to 137-2.
I think that they are heading for another draw, sadly, after the great bowling of Chris Rushworth.

I was also 'unfollowed' by Daddy Rushworth as he was bored of all the Twitter Yorkshire banter, however I knew he wouldn't stay away for long!

Come on Joe, this is cricket at it's best. Serious cricket!

Former besty county in the South now renamed 'South Durham' ( Hampshire to new readers), were doing jolly well too as they look close to a home win. And with the lovely Michael Carberry securing an England place, it could be double celebrations today.

So I trotted off to my boudoir last night in a super happy mood and fell asleep in my Yorkshire shirt! A great end to a great day.

I cannot wait for my trip to Headingley in July, better start packing my bag now.


Good luck today to Dame Didi, don't forget your sandwich, flask and a book to read. Speak later.

Well time to go and sort out the work that I abandoned yesterday.

Please do not unfollow me Daddy Rushworth!!! I am sitting on a very wobbly fence you know!!!

Some good news for moi

So although I boss the boys around at Super Swanky Lady Lainey office I am always on the lookout for other jobs which would stop my orange curls from turning grey(er). Well I think that I might have found just the job and how much better could it be as it involves wine!

At the moment we are still in negotiations but it is looking good and I will start by working on a part time basis and then see how it goes, which means that 'der boys' will still be subjected to me shouting at them and  I can still sit at my desk and look pretty for 7 hours.

More to follow soon, super exciting times if it all comes off..

Super exciting times were what was happening at Headingley yesterday, as former Durham boy Liam Plunkett made his highest championship score in four years. He hit 86 to see besty home county of Yorkshire end their first innings on 444.

Liam wasn't flipping finished though as he decided to have a go at Warwickshire with the ball taking a wicket and Jacky Brooks also waded in. Warwickshire ended their first day at the crease on 136-4.
A great second day from my Tykes.

Former besty home county of Durham have a bit of a worry with Graham Onions leaving the game at Hove with a back injury, he is going to be assessed and it is to be hoped that it is really nothing serious. The main concern for Durham is that this is not a repeat of the back injury which in  2010 ruled  Graham out for the whole season.

However at Hove, Rain was not being kind to Durham who were launching a comeback and trying to break Sussex. Chris Rushworth dismissed Luke Wright  and then Asher Zaidi. Chrios's figures were 4-124.
This is the second match in a row where Durham have conceded 500+ runs!!!!


Here's hoping that  the rain stays away and Durham can get in to bat.I am however seeing a repeat of last week.


So after spending the day on my own yesterday, as even Dan Dan Cowboy Draughtsman did not come in, I will today be joined by Job the Jolly who will be back from having a knees up with his pals at a Stag Weekend.

To be honest yesterday was total bliss, no boys to shout at, have the radio on as loud as I wanted and actually get my 'in tray' down without the boys depositing extra 'stuff' into it when my flipping back is turned.

oh well, it was wonderful whist it lasted!!!

Back to the grind

So its Monday and I am in the office alone today..................well almost, Dan Dan Cowboy draughtsman is coming in as yesterday at 6.20am Baby Mia arrived which means that all the office babies are now here safe and sound. Job the Jolly has been away on a stag weekend, so he will be in no fit shape to come into work. Oh well I guess that it will be a busy day fielding calls, and working hard to get everything done.

Yesterday was a full on cricket day, but his Royal Ryanness is having a few days off, luckily not through injury which was my first worry but due to rotation of bowlers The weather was not looking too promising  as Yorkshire went into bat. However it didn't stop little Joey Root, Kane Williamson and Timmy Bresnan from scoring half centuries. At stumps Yorkshire were 310-8


Durham were at the seaside and as I had requested Chris Rushworth to take three wickets , he started off early with his first. He had a long bowling stint and managed to take another wicket, Sussex however batted well with Wright and Brown having top knocks and scoring 183 and 152 not out.
Chris will have to get those bails flying today.

Well after watching the television debut of Harry the Spaniel yesterday morning, all thoughts of work went out of the window. Mr Funky the chauffeur came round to try to cut the grass in the extensive grounds of Tykes Towers.

By late afternoon I went to bed and had a lovely nap!!!!

So still lots to do here and still got to get the blind up in the boot room, as well as sorting out the 'office' and
.........................well it gets a bit boring after a while just thinking about the things that I have to do.
I have been awake since 3.30am and  feel totally worn out, at some point today I think that I will be having myself a little sleep.

Also got a text from Tzairna Katerina at 5.50am letting me know that she was at the airport and about to have some breakfast. Well at least we are goign to get two weeks peace whilst she is on holiday.

So without further ado, I am off to the office to do some snoring work and hopefully clear my in tray ready for the next pile of drawings to hit it.

There has to be an easier way to earn some pennies????

Busy busy already!!!

Woohooo after a jolly lazy/boring day yesterday which included a very long nap/sleep yesterday afternoon, I am ready for the day today.

I got soaked to my smalls yesterday after being caught in a torrential downpour when I went out for a walk, and don't get me stated about the amount of washing that is hanging around Tykes Towers!!!! Hopefully today I can get it all dry and then do some housework.

But first, @SpanielHarry that cheeky little chappy who keeps me entertained with his very funny stories ( most including 'Poor Auntie Jane') is going to be on TV this morning, In about an hour from now. Harry is a very busy little boy as he has been organising the 'biggest' dog/ hooman event EVER  Yes Woofstock takes place on September 13th, and is a festival celebrating all things 'dog'.

So I had better get my blog finished so that I am ready for the 'big interview'

Sadly I cannot go to Woofstock but I will be there in spirit ( or will feel like I am there after having lots of spirits!).


Today also sees the first days play of Besty home county of Yorkshire as they take on top of the table Warwickshire. This is being broadcast live on 5 Live, so I had best do all my jobs before 'kick off' so that I can give my full  attention to all things Tyke.
I now know the correct total of First Class wickets taken by His Royal Ryanness ( or Perm Boy as Harry calls him). Thanks to Daddy Rushworth I now know that it is 631.


Former besty home county of Durham are away to Sussex for the next four days. They all went to the dogs last night for a spot of R & R. Lets hope that it doesn't manifest itself into the game. I expect at least 3 wickets from Chris Rushworth ( no pressure).

Ian Bell has taken the opportunity to speak out about new England coach Peter Moores, saying that he has learnt from his mistakes in his first stint as coach. Well obviously he hasn't learnt too well as he still has not gagged Bell!!!

After my visit from Tzarina Katerina yesterday morning, I am now the new owner of a 'strimmer'??!!! I assume that it is something to do with dealing with things in the extensive grounds of Tykes Towers. Moi do gardening???? I jolly well think not, however as I can hardly see the railings in the Deer Park, maybe I should get round to doing something..........................or buy a goat, now there's a plan!!


Oh well time is moving on so best to get showered and wash the orange birdsnest curls and get ready to watch Harry.

Have a great day and #COYT!!!! ( and Durham)

Boring weekend

Well it's Saturday and I should have been having a lie in, but the chuffing rain woke me up at 5am!!! So I have put washing in, and emptied the dishwasher and now trying to think of something to do today. I actually woke up with a storming headache too, I held out last night until 7.30pm and then...................well it was Friday so it was 'champers o'clock'. However this morning I am wishing it had been 'champers 5 minutes'!!


Tzarina Katerina is coming over at 10am, she is dropping off my flasks and then I think that I will go to Homebase and have a wander around. SEEEEE!!!!! I am so flipping bored I am not even going PROPER shopping, like shoes and handbag shopping!!!! Oh dear me!!! its been a strange week this week and seems to be getting stranger by the minute.

I might even go to see if I can get the astoturf to lay my 'mini wicket' in the extensive grounds of Tykes Towers, and then I can finally get my 'little cricket men' outside.



So in the cricket, England beat Scotland in the ODI. To be honest if they hadn't then we should just knock the bails off now!. Rain had affected play and England won by 39 runs on the D/L method.

I am sort of thinking that there will be little or no local cricket today, oh thank goodness I no longer do the cricket teas! The freezer would be over flowing and I would be furious!

Sad news at Derbyshire as they announced that Tom Poynton will be out for the rest of the season because of the leg injuries sustained in the car crash that took the life of his father. It appears that his injuries are worse than initially though. Derbyshire have had to bring in Gareth Cross to keep wicket as  Richard Johnson remains unavailable through a stress related illness.

Not a great start to the season for them.

 Darren Sammy is to retire from test cricket after he was replaced as captain of the West Indies  by Denesh Ramdin. I am sorry to see him go as it was always fun to see how long he would be on the field before he complained of being injured and in pain.  A real character.


well after complaining about the rain, it appears to have stopped and it is brightening up.
might even get some washing hung out!

Can you tell I am totally bored!!!!!!!!

Its F(ryan)day and no cricket

Yes thats right, no cricket at all for moi this weekend, and to be flipping honest I am super chuffing worn out. I know where I will be for a good part of the weekend, yes napping on the sofa. it's a hard life this two day working week!!!

The weekend though sees the start of new games for besty home county of Yorkshire as they 'entertain' Warwickshire for 4 days. Former besty home county of Durham are away to Sussex. However this season I will not be getting the run down on how nice the ice cream is and the cake and the weather, as my 'roving reporter' is staying firmly at home.

'Captain' Cook has gone on record saying that the new England era feels 'fresh'. Well I should think so now that the dressing room is no longer polluted with 'he who must not be named in the blog'. Lets hope that this marks a change of fortune for the England team.

And so the first office baby has arrived , Baby 'Fullerina' arrived just after 4pm yesterday afternoon, weighing in at 8lb 5.5oz ( hahaha I nearly put 8st!!!). Congatulations to the whole family. #funstartsnow


Today is also the start of my super big diet and fitness campaign ( yes again). After eating my body weight in 'rubbish' ( including a 'Shergar' burger at the ground on Monday) this week, I am taking the bull by the horns and starting circuits again and also back on the 'real' food. Going for two weeks 'cold turkey' ( not literally) with no booze, no coffee!!!!!, no chocolate!!!!, plenty of fruit and veggies and lean meat and fish. Its going to be a long old 14 days


If you live in Lady Laineyville you may also see me out walking, 30 minutes a day, and not a high heel in sight!

Oh joy it is raining again, after I got caught in a massive downpour last night I can hear it raing again today. Hmmm jeans and boots will be the order of the day today I think.

So I am about to scoot out of the door and head off down the A1.

Wishing you all a happy F(ryan)day.

All over

And so it is all over and I Lay Lainey am deflated ( which would be brill if I really was as I would not be a fatty anymore).
Rain was the arch enemy of Yorkshire yesterday and after bowling champions of the world Durham out and enforcing the follow on, it ended in a draw.


His Royal Ryanness took another wicket bringing his total to 627 or 629. I am still waiting to find out the correct total.
There were some quick wickets which had me really getting excited and hoping that they were going to bowl Durham out, but no it was not to happen.
In the second innings for Durham, 'Jet' Jennings hit a half century before the match was halted with the score at 100-4.

War continues in July at Headingley.

Durham are back in action at home next Friday in the first T20 match of the season, so it will be a race from super swanky Lady Lainey office to get there for the match.

By the time I got back to Tykes Towers I was so tired that I nearly fell asleep on the sitting room floor!

However Prince Philip of South Africa phoned me from Brazil where he is putting the finishing touches to the work for the World Cup before flying home to South Africa for a few days then back to Brazil via London. Sadly no chance for us to meet up this year as  I cannot get to London and he doesn't have enough time to come North.


So it is Thursday and only two days to sort out boys and get my desk into some sort of order before the weekend. When I might just do some DIY.

Oh yes the DIY is rearing its head again, but I might as well do it whilst there is no cricket on.

And some housework would be a good  thing too! and washing, and ironing..............

But now it is time to head off to Lady laineyviile and see what mischief and mayhem the 'boys' have been getting into. And there are still no babies!!!

And another...............

Wicket for the total which is either 626 or 628 depending on who you speak to. I spent a good part of the day talking to Henry Rushworth who told me 'all gone' and shouting 'dad' to anyone wearing blue. And he clapped when Yorkshire took a wicket so I guessing no tea for him last night, which didn't matter as he knew there was food in my bag and kept diving in!! Top boy though .

Also was honoured to be given a paw by Pasha but she knew who had the treats so, was keen to play up to me!.


It was a slow day and I am afraid that the result may not be the one that I want, but a draw will have to suffice. There was much appealing for wickets and I saw his Royal Ryanness do his 'famous' foot stamp when one was denied him. He had a bit of a paddy but it entertained moi, considerably.


Michael Richardson put on 148 for Durham which frustrated the Tyke bowlers as Durham closed on 361-8. They still need 79 to avoid the follow on, and today is going to be a long old day for the Yorkshire men.


It was also chuffing hot and I had 'jeggings' and boots on! But when the sun went behind the pavilion I was so cold that I hoped my nose wouldn't run #candles.
Today is not going to be so hot and there is some rain expected so I am taking my anorak with me just in case. ( no not Mr Funky the chauffeur but a proper anorak).

Poor old Mark Garraway has tonsillitis and is feeling jolly poorly so as he couldn't speak he messaged me instead. And made me laugh which yesterday  I flipping well needed.

I was super tired out when I got home, and after chatting to Dame Didi I headed off to bed, but as is the case I have been awake since 3.30am and am even more super tired today.

I am making the most of the cricket as I know that I will not see any more four day matches this season. At least I have seen the best one!

News on the England front is that Stuart Broad is out of the ODI series against Sri Lanka as he is crocked................well you knew it was going to happen!

Former Tyke Phil Jaques scored his third half century for Notts were he is on a short term contract.Notts are leading Somerset as we move into the fourth day.

Well coffee to make, curls to twirl and slap to put on so time to get a wriggle on!!!

Another day another wicket!

Well Yorkshire set a great total. Captain Andrew Gale hit 124, Jonny Bairstow hit 95, and there was a half century for Rashid. Chris Rushworth took 3 wickets for Durham, before Yorkshire declared.

When they went in to bowl his Royal Ryanness  only took a flipping wicket, we nearly missed it as we were so busy finding out interesting things about seagulls! #don'task.

The weather stayed fine although it was a tad cold and I feel that today will be a thermal vest day. The weather forecast says sunny intervals but I am loathe to believe them as I froze my flipping 'wotnots' off yesterday. I even had to put on Mr Funky the chauffeurs tin foil lined kagool. It was a kind gesture but I was no warmer.


The very lovely Henry Rushworth came to the match today and munched his way through sausages and sausage rolls, when they were gone I was dismissed with the wave of a hand.............and a huge smile. A gorgeous little boy.


Today is another day and I have a good feeling about the Yorkshire bowlers. I may be very wrong but I doubt it. We had rain over night, I fell asleep nearly as soon as I walked in the door last night, I woke up at 11pm as I heard my phone beep, and then heard the rain. however so far this morning, the sky is looking OK and the sun is trying to shine.

Gillespie the Gallant gave me a huge smile yesterday  and left me slightly flustered, this caused much hilarity when I related it back to Mark Garraway. I seem to have done nothing at this match but blush and be embarrassed.

Job the Jolly had been watching on Sky but didn't see me,  which is strange as  apparently you cant miss my super orange hair, Pauly Paul said you could see me from the other side of the ground, rumour has it I am visible on GoogleEarth.

Well it is just me today as 'der boys' are back to work, so I can carry a much smaller food bag as not feeding an army. ( although not sure as rumour has it Henry is coming to the match again today).

Well time to get ready for the day, super flipping excited I can tell you!

A wonderful day

-

So the weather was good yesterday and it was great to be back at cricket and watching the two besty teams in the life of I Lady lainey, however, SOMEONE asked his Royal Ryanness to have a picture taken with me and this frightened the 'bejezus' out of me, I went hot and cold and started to have the on set of a panic attack especially as SOMEONE kept telling me he was coming down to see me!!!

Not sure why I was panicking, it was only his Purple knickership, but panic I did!

 Yorkshire were  batting and  Lyth got  a century and Williamson nearly getting there before Chris Rushworth took his wicket. At this point I was on a very wobbly fence I can tell you!!! Close of play saw my Tykes on 299-3.

By 5pm I had given in to the temptation of wine and had a couple of glasses, it was foul and I won't be doing that today believe me!

So it is  looking  like it may be a good day today, as there is no rain forecast until this evening, I am getting ready for another top Tyke performance.

Mr Funky the chauffeur is under strict instructions to collect me at 9.45am, but you just know it will be more like 10am, well he will have to read the paper. And if you are reading this Funky , bring the crossword from yesterdays paper. The big one!


Dame Didi is having a 'royal; visit today as Tzarina Katerina (Kiki) drops by Chateau Saltburn. Pleased that I am off to cricket or might have been included in the day out. A drive to Saltburn via Blackpool no doubt! Why oh why she doesn't take the A66 is totally beyond me!


So check list is as follows


Coffee                          Done

Food                            Done

Curls                            Twirled

Cameras                      Charged

Treats for Pasha            Done


Cherry Bakewell anyone?

Oh yes, forgot to mention 'Would like to be Lord Lainey' was lurking in the crowd yesterday. he was sitting with his mates. ( on his own more like!)

have a great day.

Did you really think you would get away without a picture of the man himself?????



Oh yes forgot to say Dame Didi I have loads of flasks at mon maison, I am 'flask OCD'!!!!

Its raining....on a matchday!!!!

Yes I fair bounced out of my bed this morning, super flipping excited because it is THE day, yes it is the first day of Durham v Yorkshire and then I realised that it was raining!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO, it can't do this to me.

Soooooo I am frantically looking for the weather forecast, and it appears that after 8am  the rain  will disappear, there will be no sun but it will be warm. HURRAH!!!!

Well now, what about last night???? It was flipping brilliant and I got a kiss from His Royal Ryanness, I then had to go and sit in the corner and never spoke another word all night, well apart from 'Thank you' to Daddy Rushworth  who got me the signed Yorkshire shirt.
This shirt is more treasured than my Ronnie Irani shirt. And that was special I can tell you!!! It was a wedding present, strange really as former Lord Lainey hated cricket and couldn't understand why I was so excited over a signed shirt and not a new hoover. #divorcewasforseeable

Well the evening was a huge success and Chris let me know that they had raised a jolly fine sum of money to boot. And the food wasn't bad, but I was struggling to eat as I was sitting VERY close to Ryan!!! hahahaha I was so quiet last night I will be making up for it today.

Well in the footy,

Birmingham and Leeds both drew their matches. For Brum this was a crucial match as they were close to being relegated and playing The Blades next season, but they have managed to avoid it despite a match which saw a lot of yellow cards including Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo!!!!

The Blades won their match against Coventry 2-1. #coyb


So time is moving on and I have the food to prepare and my curls to twirl and a hundredy milliony things to do. So best get a wriggle on.

And if you are wondering why in my Ryan week, there is not a picture of Himself. Well SOMEONE commented that they were sick of seeing his posterior  (I never get sick of seeing it!) and something different would be appreciated. OK here is a new picture and not of His Royal Ryanness.

Have a super fabby day, because I think I am going to!

Oh yes and there will be no wine for me as I am on my very besty behaviour...........yes really.............

The sun is shining!!!!

Woohoo the sun is shining the washing machine is on and its my big day (evening). The evening when I get to sit in a room with His Royal Ryanness. yes sit in a room, in the corner, cowering under the table, unable to stand up because my legs are shaking so much ( and they are shaking now ), So..........................

time to put my mind to other things.

Like sorting out all the grub for Mr Funky the chauffeur and Pauly Paul for tomorrow. A Lady's work is never done.

The squad for the ODI v Scotland was announced and although no Timmy Bresnan there are two other Tykes named, Gary Ballance and Joey Root. Of course Ian bell is in there as well as Ravi Bopara, so lets see how they do, as you know I Lady Lainey do not rate them at all.

well the Lady Lainey limo is repaired and now if it rains I can wipe the precipitation from my windscreen, Oh joy now I can see where I am going ( and as it is usually super swanky Lady Lainey office I preferred it when I couldn't see). Yesterday I was talking to one of the expectant mums, she is looking very well and awaiting the imminent arrival of baby Tallulah ( not the real name of the baby), She was laughing at how nervous the 'daddy; is and saying that he is in a worse state than her!!!

Maybe this weekend will bring good news.

So back to Footy

The Mighty Whites are home to Derby

Brum are away to Bolton

The Blades are home to Coventry

Come on boys do me proud I want wins from you all today.


So now time to 're orange' my curls, and get myself prepared for tonight.

I think that I am going to struggle as my hands are shaking so much.


until tomorrow

Its the start of F(ryan) week

Well very nearly a whole week of His Royal Ryanness, yes I can hear you all yawning now, but in Lady Lainey land this is the best flipping week of the year!.

Tomorrow my Tykes arrive in The Land of the Prince Bishops and then war is declared. Well sort of!!

There is the calm before the storm on Saturday evening, when the man himself ( see above) comes to the Riverside to have a 'Talk ' aided by Steve Harmison.
 This will be a very quiet evening for anyone sitting with me as I will not be able to open my mouth! ( there's a first). My legs are shaking now and I think that by tomorrow evening I will be in full panic mode!!!!

However great to see him pulling together to help raise money for Durham bowler Chris Rushworth in his 'Dry challenge' for the whole of 2014.

Still on the cricket front, Graham Gooch has left his post as England batting coach, and the ego that is 'he who must not be named in this blog', tweeted that he needed the address to apply!! yes and then all his sycophants started to tweet back how great it would be to have him in the role. But how could he play in the IPL and CPL if he was coaching?, well I am sure he would get a 'pass out' just like he did with Surrey!!!
#moron

Who will take on the job??? Well I have a few names in mind but will keep them to myself for the moment.


Well in super swanky Lady lainey labour ward, still no babies!!! Lots of movement and aches and pains but no little people appearing yet.Also lots of daddies getting greyer by the minute!!!

well it really is a short one today as Lady Lainey limo is off to 'Emergency ward Tim' to have its windscreen wipers fixed, typical you don't know that they are broken until it rains!!!

And then I am off to the office to prepare for the arrival of Dan Dan cowboy draughtsman who is coming out of retirement to do a job which 'Big Boss Si' says is a weeks work, well that's Dan settled back into his chair for at least 3 months!!! Oh joy!!! the noon rush to Taylors for roast dinners begins again in earnest!!!

Until tomorrow when I will be even more 'shaky' than I am now!

Well, well, well.......

So it all seemed to be going the way of Yorkshire yesterday and then disaster struck, they were unable to move any further on dismissing the Middlesex batsmen, although His Royal Ryanness managed to sneak a cheeky wicket, adding to his upcoming 700 total. ( 624 by my reckoning). Chris Rogers managed to hold his nerve and hit an unbeaten 241 to frustrate everyone.

Reading what Tyke supporters were saying about the team on twitter made me a tad cross. Yes they lost after racking up runs, BUT thats the nature of the game. However you know my stand ' it's not the winning but the taking part and if you are taking part you should win'.


In the race to the first baby of the office, neither little person is now keen to make an appearance and nerves are becoming frayed, as meetings in London are being called for and neither 'boy' wants to go incase the big event starts. Well best get my 'shouty' head on cos it looks like I will be heading south to do some negotiating. Do they not know I have the most tres important event of the season coming up!!!!

SOME PEOPLE, took the opportunity to make jolly rude remarks  re this upcoming match. SOME PEOPLE might have egg on their faces ( but knowing my luck SOME PEOPLE will be moi).


Well not only am I having a new 'do' for the big week, but also Pasha is indulging in a new hair ( coat) cut as she trundles off to doggy beauty salon today. She was lucky enough to have a bath last night whilst I made do with shaving my legs in the bidet!!! Some girls are jolly flipping lucky thats all I can say.


Went out to buy the downstairs office a leaving pressie as they pack up and move to even swankier offices than those of I Lady lainey, however I was enticed by a pair of shoes and other necessities on my shopping expedition. well I will think of them all fondly when I have my shoes on!!!!


Great news for I Lady Lainey as I read that Sir Sean of Bean  will be appearing in a new US drama as an FBI agent. Do they have FBI Agents with a broad Sheffield accent? well they do now! This starts in America in August and hopefully will be on our TV's soon.

Well whilst he is filming he wont be getting married again...............I hope!


So what about the picture today, 'Do ya know who it is yet!?'