Up with the larks!

If only this was the view from LT Towers II this morning  ( instead of being the view of home soil of France from hotel room). However I can't see a blinking thing outside it is soooooo dark. For pities sake, bring on the lighter mornings and I might feel a bit more human! However the 'golf ball' in the throat has reared its head again. What the Donald Duck is going on??? I am falling apart!!!! It's not right in one so young!!! ( stop laughing now Joe!)

Well probably another course of 'cillin' should sort it if the Doctor will give it to me!.

So what happened yesterday in cricket, well if you didn't watch, listen. read about it. England lost! And Captain Cook has said that he may resign as ODI captain. Hell, let Bell have a go he thinks he is he Captain already!
To be honest I doubt him stepping down will make any difference to whether they win or lose!
Need to sort the team out!

Top news from The Tykes. Andrew Gale signed a new contract which will keep him with the club until 2016 with the option for another season. Its all looking good for my boys.

Liam Plunkett who a couple of seasons ago looked to be on 'self destruct' at Durham has made the Lions team. Flipping brilliant to see him doing so well. One season at Yorkshire has seen a marked improvement in all of Liam's game and for him to get a second chance of a call up is great. Liam is about to go into his second season with Yorkshire and I wish him every bit of luck.
Having seen him play last year he looks much more at home with the Yorkshire team than at Durham. #dizzydoesgood

Dame Didi and I seem to be on a mission to have an early spring clean at our respective homes. Dame Didi is doing it in readiness for her move back home to La Belle France, less to send on the removals van. I am doing it because my flipping house is bursting at the seams.Blinking eBay got a hammering last night and if it all sells I may be able to get my car back in the garage and get my spare bedroom back!


So today I am heading off to see the 'quack' and hope that my  flipping throat is better again soon. How will I shout at 'boys'?, how will I demand copious amounts of coffee?.

I am sure I will but to be honest I just wish that I felt a tiny bit better!!!!

Short one today so until tomorrow

Bon Journee

Lady Lainey makes a start!!!!

And that's what I did yesterday. I have been letting things get a tad slack here at LT Towers II and when I got back from Chateau Saltburn I  decided to make a start..............................and tidied out my handbag!. As you can see it is still pretty full, but these are the necessities for the perfect day to day running of the life of I Lady Lainey.

I did do three loads of washing, put the dishwasher on, make my lunch and dinner and then have a nap!

So today it is full steam ahead, even though I have been up since 3am to make sure that England do something right.

And it seemed that they were as they had selected Ballance and Bresnan to play ( sadly no Root but on past performance even I would have been loath to play him). Cook and Bell took to the field to open and Cook went at 35. His batting sadly is not great at the moment. I know the team have performed badly but as an opener we are expecting better figures  from him than we have seen of late.England then brought in Stokes at 3 which was a change from Ballance.
Bell was run out at on 29 and then Ballance joined Stokes.

The end of the England innings saw 243 for their 50overs with top knocks from  Morgan and BRESNAN, yes indeedy doody Top Tyke Timmy hit 41!!!

So Australia are currently in batting and I have it on't wireless at the moment as I am in the 'office' typing this blog ( no TV's allowed upstairs at The Towers). They are 63-1 at 8.23am UK time ( gosh I am really late posting this morning).

According to one newspaper this morning. It is all over for KP as they 'reveal' that Cook and Flower do not want him as part of their new set up. It is claimed that Flower wants players to appear for their county  which is at odds with the IPL  where KP is hoping to make more money.
There is also comments on the fact that he ignores coaches ( and we are surprised because.....).

This year could be a new era for English cricket if they choose wisely. Out with the old and in with the new is my motto.

But hey what would I know?????

On a high note, England's women's team look closer to winning the Ashes. At least someone is doing it right. Well you all know if you want a job doing well let the women do it!

OK off to do lots of jobs now!!

Have a super Sunday.

Birthday Bash part 1 sorted

OMG the first part of the Big Birthday Bash was completed last night, well the flights were sorted. I just have to make it across the airport at Amsterdam without losing Dame Didi and nearly missing my connecting flight, which if course this year I will make sure doesn't happen.Unlike last time!!! At least when I finally got on the flight the Stewardess realised how distressed I was and gave me as many danish pastries as I could cram into my cake hole.

So in exactly 9 months time I will be having fun in the sun in Marseilles,home of Eric Cantona, the oldest cinema in the world and the magnificent cathedral above.

I know that avid readers will notice that yesterday I stated it was 10 months until my birthday, well it is. but I am starting early to make it last as long as possible!!! The big party will be the end of the celerations.

Over in all things cricket, England lost again to Australia yesterday despite Joey Root making up for his lack of runs by taking a wicket. Also the new boys Morgan and Boyd are suffering from injuries ( calf and hamstring). Morgan coming off late in the game meaning that the lovely Michael Carberry had to come on to field.( and I missed that!!!)

The team looks to be falling apart again and this is not a good sign.

Captain Cook stated that the England dressing room was an emotional place to be, yeah well mate you should be watching the game, that's not just emotional its downright depressing!

James Faulkner was the hero of the Australian team, in less than a year since his one day international debut, all rounder Faulkner has  scored 408 runs in 20 matches. In November 2013 he scored Australia's fastest one day hundred off 57 balls!!!!


Sussex have signed Yasir Arafat for their T20 blast this summer. Can't wait to see which other players get snapped up to play over the summer.

Oh well I have to hurry up as I am having my first bath this year................yes indeedy I am now going to wallow in Dame Didi's tub before heading back to the Towers and housework!!!!

Hurray its F(ryan)day.

FINALLY it is F(ryan)day. Its been a long old week. Mainly due to a terrible start with very sad family news. Then it brightened up mid week when there was a big birthday bash for His Royal Ryanness. Now it is  so close to the weekend that I feel like taking a day off work........................yes really. I know that you all know how much I love to go to super swanky Lady Lainey office, shout at boys, drink copious amounts of coffee and look pretty for 7 hours, but today I just want to pull the duvet back over my head and have a couple more hours sleep!

This is probably due to being up since 3am for cricket. Oh yes indeedy, in fact it is still on in the background as I type.

It seemed to all be starting OK but Cook went for 22 and then Joey Root came in to bat, oh dear, to say he has been having a bad time is an understatement. He was out for 2. Once again asked for it to be reviewed but to no avail.
Bell put on 68 before being run out and then Morgan made 54. England are still in there at the moment but with the score currently (6.12am UK time) 196-5 , lets see how many more we put on .

Mitchell Johnson is back in the Australian squad and this time clean shaven, nearly didn't recognise him.

Some trivia that I found out at 4am this morning. Former Australia and Durham bowler Dean Jones is also a fireman...................yes really that is true. if you don't believe me ask him!!!


Other cricket news is that Scotland beat Nepal by 90 runs in their opening World Cup qualifying match. Captain, Coetzer was happy with the win but knows that the boys can do more! Wow no pressure then!!!



Steve Finn has spoken in his own defence re his lack of performance in Australia. He has stated that he will come back stronger. Well lets hope he does, but will he ever play for England again? ( or get a cracking eight week holiday downunder?)

Nipping back to check on the current score ( 6.30am UK ) England 239-5 looking not to shabby there.


So I now have to pack up the Lady Lainey limo as I am off to Chateau Saltburn ce soir, to have mon repas avec mon soeur,  ( translation.....have a gut bash with my sister). We are also booking the flights for my big birthday bash in Marseilles. And I am getting super bouncy excited about it and its only 10 months away. OMG I may have to start packing my tiaras.


Well with that thought I am running into the 'dressing room' (i.e. one of the bedrooms that I don't sleep in but have filled with 'stuff') to get started on that little job.

I may be late with the blog tomorrow it depends if I have a lie in or not.

Lady Lainey takes the challenge

Well good morning, good morning from LT Towers II ( soon to be reverting  back to its cricket season name of Tykes Towers).

Its a cold, dark, wet morning here and I stayed under the duvet longer than I should have this morning, as a result I am sitting here with soaking wet orange curls and typing like a flipping mad thing!

So what is the challenge that I Lady Lainey have taken up? Well as you know in November I donated to Chris Rushworths 'Movember' appeal, when he grew lots of facial hair to raise money for cancer research and awareness, related to men's health issues. So now he has decided to continue fundraising but for a different cause and has chosen to go 'dry' for the whole of 2014!!!!!

Well Dry January has been a bit of a test here at the Towers, flipping heck how would I  manage all year? ( would I my Aunt Nellie!) So in the spirit of companionship I have,

1. decided to give a little each month of the challenge

2. Give a little more every month that I stay off the champagne

3. Give Chris my complete support even when if I fall off the wagon! ( which is very very likely)


Well done on a great fundraising idea which will benefit 'Save the children'  and if you are interested in making a donation, go along to  http://www.justgiving.com/Chris-Rushworth2


Away from fundraising, the Steve Finn debate is still rattling on ( very slow in the cricket journo's life so milk it for all it's worth). Former 'top bowler' of Lady Lainey , Angus Fraser has been saying that Finn has fallen out of love with bowling but that he will regain his form. Hell I would fall out of love with bowling if I got an eight week jolly to Australia!. However to be fair to Finn, he doesn't look to have the form that he had and I wonder to myself why he was selected when he obviously was looking this way prior to the tour.

Well when I run the show, things will be very different!!! hahahaha anyone who knows me well will know the criteria for the selection process!!! And just in case any publishers are reading this, my book  'Cricketers Posteriors' is still  waiting to get a 6 figure book deal!!!!!! #makingcricketmoreinterestingfortheladies


Finally our thoughts and prayers go out to the Button family, after the very sad loss of  John Button. He was a super supporter of his son and last night Jenson tweeted how proud he was to have called him Dad. Tears aplenty when I was reading his tweets.

Its been a sad start to the year for lots of families. Here's to a happier 2014

Someone has a birthday today!

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday with all the sundries
Hope you're wearing your purple undies!


 Happy Birthday to his Royal Ryanness who is 21 ( again) just like I, Lady Lainey.  OK, its a tad personal message but hey he  was seen worldwide in those  undies at the start of last season  courtesy of Yorkshire CCC website.

I am sending a huge  ( you don't get much 'huger' than moi) birthday greeting to Ryan today and hope that you have a brilliant time whatever you are doing, but hoping that it involves my favourite birthday treats. Sausage rolls, jelly and ice cream, iced gems, party rings, birthday cake and running round with your jumper over your head until you feel sick.

Have a great day!

After the sadness of the last couple of day due to the loss of our cousin James,  Cousin Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo only went and did an amazing thing last night in the FA cup match against Bristol Rovers. He only flipping scored!!!!! Yes the Hooligan scored his first goal in five years ( due to him being a defender as Dame Didi reminded me). I think that there may not have been a dry eye in any Robinson house.
Birmingham won 3-0 and good old Hooligan Robbo made everyone smile! Top boy.


So after leaving you all on tenterhooks yesterday  with the cricket. I have pleasure in announcing that England won. Yes they flipping well did. Under normal circumstances I might have been whooping and throwing my tiara in the air, but to be honest do we care now??? Well if you do England won by 172 runs.

Finn is being sent home to work on the technical aspects of his game. Oh well  he has had a wonderful holiday, now back to the freezing cold here in Blighty.

Mark Stoneman has extended his contract with champions of the world Durham  ( lets see who are Champions this season!). 26 year old Stoneman was said to be a 'senior' player by the club, flipping heck 26 and senior. I feel faint!!

And joy of joys, KP is in the England World T20 squad. Graham Onions has been given a call up for the provisional 30 man squad, as has Gary Ballance Jonny Bairstow , Joe Root, and Tim Bresnan, I think that they should just play the Yorkshire team, it would make me happy!!!!

However Michael Carberry is in the squad so there is 'eye candy' for Dame Didi!!!

Oh well, another day another trip up the A1 to Lady Laineyworkville. Another 7 hours of twirling my curls, shouting at boys, drinking copious amounts of coffee and looking pretty. Its a hard life but someone has to do it!!!

Have a great (birth)day .

It's a sad Tuesday

Very sad news came through last night that our cousin James had very sadly passed away. James was only 42 years old and had been a keen rugby player and supporter. The whole family are in shock as you can imagine.

The Robinson/Walker/Wilkinson family are all rocked to the core.


How do you continue with a 'light-hearted' blog after that?

State the facts I think.

Scotland lost their opening world cup qualifier to Hong Kong.

And Sri Lanka who are due over here in the summer, beat Pakistan in the second test in Dubai.


England meanwhile are playing a match against a Prime Ministers XI, which includes Brett Lee.

Carberry and Bresnan are back in the fold, and it looks as if Carberry had a few close shaves. England were 12-2 at one point! After losing Cook and Root. Carbs eventually went for 47.

England fought back and are currently 219-6 (6.40am UK time).

It really is a short one today as I really am struggling to write something witty or funny ( if indeed you find the blog witty and funny).


Until tomorrow

How does Monday come round so fast?

Yes its Monday again, at least this week ( so far) I am feeling fairly bouncy happy ( not quite super bouncy). I finally made all got the new bed finished and then had the worst nights sleep ever on it, due to  waking myself up every time I turned over....................... waiting for the 'squeak'. Well no squeak and sadly not much sleep either. This is going to be one very tired lapin by close of play today.


Well the ODI was a sad show with England once again losing. No amount of talking at press conferences can help the team. Talks in the dressing room need to be the key. They changed the team but it didn't change the outcome!


In the World Cup Qualifiers in New Zealand, The Netherlands secured a win against Uganda.  I am always amazed at how patriotic the Dutch are, the team manager was even sporting an orange watch ( which was very nice!).

England woman have actually put on a good show in The Ashes clash in Australia. They won the one off test by 61 runs. They now only need to win two of the limited overs matches to retain the trophy, and show the boys how its done!


I didn't report back on the footy from the weekend which to be honest was not great

The Blades lost !

The Mighty Whites looked decidedly grey after being humiliated by Sheffield Wednesday going down 6-0.

Birmingham also lost and there were cards a plenty in that match but luckily cousin Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo kept out of the 'action'.

Well my team talk to all the boys is to flipping well pull your socks up and get back into winning ways.
 6-0???????What are Leeds up to, they are having a terrible season.


Well at the moment it is so dark and miserable here at LT Towers II that I am finding it hard to get the motivation to get up and do anything, most of all go to work. I think that I need a new challenge and hopefully this week I might just find this. We'll see if things pan out for me.

Well short today as I am heading off for another fun packed week in super swanky Lady Lainey office with Jobbers, Pony and Trill!!!! Oh joy, I must have done something very bad in a past life!!!!

Really got to get to it!

Yes I had great plans for yesterday and although I made some headway  I ended up closing my innings  with way too much work to do today!

So as the picture shows, today I am stepping up a gear and intend to get LOTS done today and have a nap too.

So I crawled into my bed after midnight, fell asleep and then woke up at about 3am so that I could check in with the cricket, I am late with the blog because I have been listening to the  'hacks' talking about KP and it makes for very interesting listening.Lots of rumour and speculation surrounding the 'Ego boy'. but lets get to the cricket.
England won the toss and elected to bat. The side had new input from Butler, Bopara, Morgan and Jordan. Captain Cook looked less stressed than he had in the last few weeks and strode out in fresh kit  to take his place at the crease with Bell. Well it was all going so well, for 03 overs!!!!!!!!!!!!!Cook out,  for 4.

Root came in and after making cricket really look less interesting than watching paint dry he too was out for 3.However he asked for it to be reviewed, only for the Umpire to 'give him the finger' and Joey was wandering back to the pavilion!  Bell went slightly later on as England were 62-3. By this time I fell asleep as it was like watching a rerun of all the other matches they had played this tour.

When I woke up I realised that there had been something of a rally from the troops, and that Ballance and Morgan had put on a good stand. Morgan went at 50 and Ballance  hit 79!.

At the end of their innings they were 269-7.

Australia are in now and are currently 58 without loss.

So what plans today. Well I am going to be trying to offload more of my rubbish treasures on eBay and also have a bonfire to get rid of all the flipping horsechestnut leaves that are lying around in the extensive grounds of LT Towers II.. I need to tidy up the garage in preparation for the arrival of another fridge and freezer (Why on earth does one person need to have 2 fridges and 2 freezers!???). Then I will be having a little nap before tackling all the paperwork in the 'office'.

Phewwww!!! I am flipping exhausted just writing about all the things that I have to do, however I have to crack on because as was brought up in a conversation yesterday. The cricket season  is getting ever closer and all the things that I thought I would have done now, are still waiting..............


Oh well best to log off and go and do something constructive.

 Australia now 68 without loss!!!! :-(

Hi ho, hi ho

Oh yes indeedy doody, no peace for the wicked. I am going to be busier than the a proverbial bee today.

Firstly I am going to 'run' to town and do the lunch shopping for Job the Jolly and Pony Paul, do a quick race around the shops in case I see anything that I 'didn't realise'I needed. then home to sort out the new bed ( finally) put the boxes of Christmas decs back in the garage and then do some house work! Before beginning my 60 day 'Insanity' challenge!

OMG I am thinking that  there may be no nap time today as the new bed is going to be a super giant job!


So yesterday the 'tinterweb' was alight with KP bagging a huge pay deal with Delhi Daredevils in the IPL, if you remember last year he didn't play, just sat on the bench and counted his rupees. Well by teatime yesterday The Daredevils had obviously got wind of all the mutterings and  released KP. meaning that he will go up for auction in February. The Daredevils stated that they are building a fresh team.

Which tied in nicely with Captain Cook who was interviewed yesterday and refused to confirm that KP would be involved in a team for 2015 Ashes tour. Talk was mainly of building a NEW team and that you couldn't give one player confirmation of a place as 10 others would want it too.

Woooo hold on a minute there Captain Cook, this is not just one player, this is KP and we all know that he single handedly won the Ashes for England, plays better than any other player in the world, is brilliant at texting and has the backing of all of Liberty X.

OK enough of the sarcasm, it is way too early

However the whole IPL and county cricket thing comes to mind again, but I will save that for a later date.


Yippeee more baby news although Mr Funky the Chauffeur was not too impressed. Jessica Ennis is having a baby, and it has put a hold on all her activities this year. However she says that she will be back to defend her Olympic title.

I love babies!!!!


Today's footy sees


Cousin Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo and the rest of the Birmingham gang down in Brighton. I can see them now having a bit of a 'splodge' in the sea before kick off. Hope they win today and that Robbo is not 'carded'

The Mighty Whites are just travelling down the road to Sheffield where they will be taking on Wednesday

The Blades are at Nottingham  taking on County. #COYB


Dame Didi is now able to add 'plumbing' to her CV. She actually 'unplumbed' her washing machine, I am wondering if she is going to plumb in the new one?
I however will get 'Tim'll fix it to do mine as I do not want water shooting out everywhere in my kitchen when I put my 'smalls' on an economy cycle.


I just looked out of the window here at LT Towers II and though it was foggy, however it isn't, my windows are dirty and I need to find a man with long ladders to come and clean them. To be honest window cleaners in Lady laineyville are rarer than hens teeth, hence the state of said windows. If I wasn't so flipping scaredy of heights I would do it myself.
Yes another thing on the 'To do' list!

I thought it would never be F(ryan)day

Wowwwww after the worst start to working week, coming down with tonsillitis! It  is finally F(ryan)day and I can prepare for two days doing nothing here at LT Towers II. Well OK there are some things that have to be done, like finally sorting the new bed, taking bags of 'things' to the charity shop, shopping for lunches for the office 'boys'....................oh god I am tired out already!!!

As briefly mentioned yesterday the first ODI starts on Sunday and already the Australians have decided to rest Johnson, whilst England are resting Broad for the first two matches.What about the rest of the England team, I think that they can just pull names out of a hat!!!! #technicalstuff

We are now into the 70's as to how many days to the start of the domestic cricket season and I really am getting super excited about it. My diary is bulging with fixture lists, holiday forms and maps.
However before all of this there is still lots to be done in readiness for the season.........................no not the cricket boys!!! ME!!!
I am still on my sponsored slim for The Taking Steps Project, a great charity helping out victims of Domestic Abuse. Which is also a great boost for my return home to La Belle France. Hopefully losing the weight will stop me being harpooned on the beach at St Gilles Croix de Vie by any passing whaling ships!

And that's only one thing on the 5 page  list of 'Things to do before April'.

So did anyone see Aurora Borealis last night? Apparently  they would be visible in Scotland and the North of England Well I went to bed opened the curtains and next thing I knew it was 5.30am and time to get up, so its a big fat no from me.

I hope that Tzarina Katerina saw them because she flipping well didn't when she went on her Arctic cruise at Christmas!!!!!


It is now less than 3 weeks until the 48 hour net challenge in Lincolnshire, thank you to @rushworth22 who is donating for the raffle, very kind and I know that Dave and Richard will really appreciate it.


Its a very short one today  I am sorry to say, but I would like to say 'Thank You' to his Royal Ryanness, who was involved in the most 'surreal' tweets yesterday. its not everyday you get tweets from a dog, especially a dog who thinks he was knighted in the New Years Honours!.

If you want to enter the realms of total chaos check out  @SpanielHarry. or his 'woofsite' http://www.spanielharry.co.uk/

Your life may never be the same............................ 

Not long now....................

...........................................until the heady days of Spring, OK its a officially a couple of months away, but this morning, as I sit here typing like a mad thing, there is no wind or rain lashing against the windows and it fills me full of hope that the weather may start to look up. This is extra flipping good because

1. I hate walking round with a super frizzy afro instead of lovely orange curls

2. I can get outside and clear up the extensive grounds of LT Towers II

3. It will nearly be the cricket season which is the most important thing in the world.



And by the time the cricket season arrives hopefully the 'do they do they not have an issue' saga of Flower and Pieterson will have been settled once and for all. This would have already died a death if Michael Vaughan did not keep regurgitating it every day!! To be honest I doubt that now anyone cares, I just wish they would both disappear and then Twitter would return to normal.

Apparently Matt Prior made the save of saves the other day, but obviously not on the cricket field. He helped to get a man down from a bridge where he was going to jump. Well done Matt. Now back to cricket.

Well we are now on countdown for the first ODI which starts on the 12th. Who will be in the team and who will be speaking to whom is more the question.
The ODI's are all crammed in before the end of the month so all this 'team bashing' in the papers need to stop if England want to regain any sense of pride.

Last night I took a little test that was doing the rounds on Facebook ( not something I ever do, but feeling poorly has a strange effect on you sometimes). This test was to see if you spoke with a regional accent and low and behold, although I live her in the North East of Blighty I only flipping speak with a southern accent.
Well being totally bored out of my skull due to the 'golf ball lodged in my throat ' aka tonsillitis, I posted this onto Twitter. haaa de flipping haa, Mr Funky the Chauffeur only went and did it!!!! And he is a raggy ar***d Northerner!!!! Hahahahaha. That is why he is the chauffeur and I am the Lady!.

He then mentioned that at my super massive birthday bash ( venue now sorted and booked), there had better be 'corned beef and tattie pie', for goodness sake I am surprised he didn't ask for pigs trotters and tripe.
As he knows very well from cricket lunches and tea that I pack up for himself and Pauly Paul during the season, its quails eggs, smoked salmon and cavier all the way. Washed down with champers..........well I might sneak in a ham and pease pudding sarnie, because I like them!


Oh yes and in case you are wondering, I feel a tad better today. I just hope that I can eat something!.

Oh woe its Wednesday

Well I would like to tell you all that I am back to my usual bouncy self today, but I'm not! still feeling rough, the feeling of having a golf ball in my throat has today been replaced with razor blades, so another day without food and having luke warm ( yukky!!) drinks today I think

I am also a bit cheesed off to see that my Tykes are going off to sunny climes in March  ( only cheesed off because I'm not going). Yes my boys are off to Sri Lanka on their pre season holiday  tour. Now that is a great place to go.!

Well Twitter was all a tweet yesterday and last night and believe it or not even I Lady Lainey threw my two penny  worth in.
Firstly  I had commented on a tweet to Piers Morgan , you know Mr Morgan 'friend' of all the cricketers! This was from Lashings World XI ( Lashings  Restaurant in Maidstone is worth a look to, I was lucky enough to visit there with Hants 2nd XI a few years ago, top evening).
Anyhoo I digress, Mr Morgan then commented on the tweet which then causes a flipping load of 'Tweeting' going on, AND then after 'Tuffers had made comment about KP not being very good ( I laughed so much I thought my tonsils might fall out), I commented on that too. Flipping heck I hadn't realised that there were so many KP 'bromances' going on. Blinking boys nearly crying because I said KP was 'getting on', 'probably passed his best in two year'.

He was good and can play well when he puts his mind to it, but sadly he has not played well this tour and time to get rid of the old guard and bring on the young guns! #myopiniononly

Andy Flower also denies giving the ECB an ultimatum, him or KP. Hell if I was at the ECB I would boot them both out!!! #myopiniononly.

It looks as if I am not the only one who is unwell, yes besty bowler from Champions of the world Durham was sooooo poorly last night that he couldn't go to see Sunderland beat Man United. Daddy Rushworth was not sympathetic to either of us, and let me tell you, 'lightweight' is not a word that you could use to describe Lady Lainey cheeky boy!!!

And so as it is flipping late this morning and I have to get the limo out of the garage I  am signing off until tomorrow.

Dame Didi I will ring you tonight if I stay awake that long!

Tuesday, bluesday

Well now then, where to start, firstly its Tuesday  and secondly I feel as if I have a golf ball lodged in my throat!! I actually have tonsillitis, which is flipping amazing as they 'whipped' them out when I was 8 years old. However the infection has taken hold, I feel ghastly and can't eat anything and can hardly even drink ( that would be non alcoholic beverages!). I am taking the tablets and hope that I am back to my usual bouncy happy Lady like self in no time at all.

And talking about no time at all, it seems like ages ago that I was telling you about the 48 hour non stop nets challenge taking place in Lincolnshire at the end of January. Well as you know we are now at 7th January so time is moving on and it'll be here in no time at all.
Dave and Richards are doing this mad inspirational challenge in aid of Brain tumour research and are 'begging' for any kind of cricket donations that can be raffled off to raise more money whilst the Net challenge takes place. If anyone can help out with this please contact  https://twitter.com/LadyLaineyR
Although the challenge is for 48 hours which will smash the world record, they actually want to go for 50!

My challenge today is to just get through 7 hours of sitting in super swanky Lady Lainey office looking 'kind of' pretty and then getting back to The Towers in time to crash out in my bed!.

Not content with us all suffering watching England lose the Ashes and 5 tests, we are now being bombarded with every ex player and his dog, letting us know their reasons why England lost.

Well as I am an ex player ( Harefield Ladies to be exact, prodigy of Harry Latchman!), here is my take on the whole shambles. We put out a 'team' and I use that word loosely. We all know there is no 'i' in team, however someone had failed to mention this to some of the players, who with their usual over inflated egotistical style thought that they could retain the Ashes single handed. Then we have the 'young guns' who showed great ability, which to be honest wasn't that difficult considering the shabby show from others.

HOWEVER, these youngsters should not be pushed up through the ranks quickly but allowed to play their way in. Some of them also need to calm down their 'hard boy' image because  it does them no favours ( in my book).
There are also some 'elders' of the team who think that they will still be around in 2015 to win the Ashes back. Well KP if you are still in the team in 2015 I am taking up supporting Italy!

Basically we lost because we were outplayed by Australia and not because we 'weren't on home turf', 'were having off days!!!!!'. We lost because we were too busy resting on our laurels to see the amount of work that Australia had done with their team. We lost because we were too full of ourselves.

Wowweeee!!!! I was off on a super cricket rant there and when I am not feeling too well too.

Gosh think I had better go and have a lie down for a little minute and then head off in the Lady Lainey limo!

Cold, Cold and got a cold!

Oh yes and so it begins.....................New Year and New cold. Add this to the fact that super swanky Lady Lainey office is going to be freezing today and it all adds up to being a grim one for me. I can hardly drink my coffee as my throat is so sore and how  on earth will I get through the day if I am not drinking copious amounts of the black nectar. I also think that I will have a problem shouting at boys too. This is not a flipping good start to the week.


I suppose it is just a continuation of the humiliation at the weekend, that was the The Ashes tour!.

Yes every part of the last 5 tests have now been dissected and it is the general consensus that England are rubbish and need a total overhaul. However all the back room staff seem to think that they are indispensable! Although personally how Andy Flowers can stay after this I do not know. I am reading as much as I can regarding the shambles before I deliver my verdict. However nothing can change the fact that we were well and truly stuffed by the Aussies. FACT!

Well if the tabloids are to be believed Monty Panesar has been trying to make up for his lack of wickets by bowling 'maidens' over. Oh yes, after his antics last summer it appears that Monty is living up to the  cricketers reputation and has been offering 'tours' of his hotel room. Whether it not this is true, is irrelevant, as a  'lady' has been blabbing to the press about this.

And as we ladies know, all cricketers are Gentlemen.....................


Countess Christine of McNally tipped up at LT Towers II yesterday with replacement dining chairs for me. One of my gorgeous chairs has very wobbly legs and cannot ( according to  cousin Sir Steven of Wilko) be repaired. Luckily Chris found two so she got them for me and now all looks to be perfect in the dining room again!


So what does this week hold for I Lady Lainey, well apart from feeling flipping rotten, we have a new build landing on our desks today so that will take some sorting out before any drawing happens. I am whipping the boys into shape this week as I am sick and tired of 'boy talk'. It's time to get back to talking about, shopping and handbags and new tiaras.

And then I can settle down to trying to drink coffee and look pretty for the remainder of the day. Oh yes back to the good old office!


Until tomorrow when I hope to be feeling jolly well better!

What no party!

Exactly!!!! my fun Saturday night out with Naughty Nikki was cancelled half an hour before kick off! And I had managed to drag myself away from my usual Saturday afternoon spot ( the sofa) to get ready too. Oh well I could focus on the cricket...............................



...............................oh hang a minute I had already forsworn that! Oh well nothing else to do! So I went off to bed at about 10pm to get settled ready for action.

Oh well you all know the outcome. 5-0 to Australia, despite Stokes and Broad giving it a good go. Broad was actually cheered by Aussies fans for the first time ( obviously glad to see him go).

It was also a big day for Glenn McGrath yesterday at the SCG as everything turned pink for 'The Pink Test. 'Yes even Mitch Johnson coloured his moustache pink ( flipping scary if you ask me!). They all wore their 'baggy pinks' which are currently being auction off on the McGrath Foundation website. Even England wore pink caps. Huge amounts of money was raised for breast cancer nurses in Australia. Great cause.


So do we really need to know what happened blow by blow ( or ball by ball). That will be a no then! Time to move on and focus on sorting the flipping team out!

My new bed was finally delivered yesterday which meant that the much loved, but terribly squeaky bed is ' going the journey'. Sad really as it had been a comfortable bed until it started squeaking like a plague of mice!!!

 Best news of all yesterday was that

THE BLADES BEAT ASTON VILLA 2-1 , this put paid to Villa's FA Cup hopes. Nigel Clough looked positively ecstatic, as was I Lady Lainey as I quickly phoned Dame Didi to give her the news. Ryan Flynn's 81st minute goal did the trick. I bet Sir Sean of Bean was a happy chappy. #chippythenpub


So today as I glance out over the Deer Park here at LT Towers II, it is very very frosty and cold too, so after I have been shopping to get the office boys their lunches for the week ( oh yes back to the grind) I think that I will be snuggled up on the sofa, having a little nap and hoping that when I wake up 'The Ashes fiasco' will all have been a dream..............


short today, back tomorrow!

Lady Lainey is very flipping busy!

Well I did stay up all night for the cricket and at the lunch break I baked a cake (1.30am UK time). Then went back to England collapsing. And yes Ben Stokes did do well batting but its just the 'Joe Root thing' all over again. How quickly the hacks forget that they were gushing about Joe Root in the same way just over a year ago, and will have done the same with Cook, KP, Bell, Panesar................

....my thoughts are to let Ben develop as a player in his own time, he is 22 and still has years ahead of him if him and will be a great player if he is not 'super elevated' too early! #mythoughtsonly

Anyhoo, After settling down to more of a good hiding by Australia I was listening intently to Geoff Boycott, OK he can be pompous but he speaks as he finds and he finds the whole of the England team ( coaches included) to be in need of a good shake.

England narrowly avoided the follow on and Australia went back in to bat, and although they lost there first wicket at 5.00am ( Warner,16 runs Australia 27-1) and then Watson at 5.20am ( Australia  47-2). Clarke and  Smith went before close of play were they were still put on  140-4. Giving them a lead of  311


Tad cheesed off that  Broad has denied me of the chance to say I told you so by not being seriously 'crocked' this tour!

To be honest when Geoff Boycott said that England do not stand a cat in hells chance of winning, well I am totally behind him.

TMS have been asking for suggestions for England's Man of the Series..........................hmmm let me have a think about that one!.


So what delights does today at the Towers brings. Well I am super flipping busy as ( hopefully ) the  long awaited new bed comes today and I will finally get a good nights sleep.

However that won't be tonight as I am off to spend the evening with Nikki the Naughty, and I may be slightly late in delivering my blog tomorrow if I can't get onto WiFi..#justwarningoinadvance

However there will be no headache as I am totally off the booze for January ( or as long as I can manage) I am 4 days in and judging by the groaning recycling glass bin, going 'dry' has not come a moment too late!!!

And I have decided that I am also going 'dry' all over the cricket season, which means no gulping down copious amounts of over priced, foul tasting wine at The Riveside ( or anywhere else that I happen to be this summer).

So having already baked a cake at stupid o'clock I am off to make some lunch!!! ...........for later!!

Have a great day and a great weekend

Thank goodness it F(ryan)day............

.....................because its not a great day cricket or weather wise. So today I really needed something to cheer me up. yes indeedy a picture from my besty cricket match of last season. The wonderful Scarbados Festival! ( well warming up for cricket!)

I had decided to 'sort' of stay up for the cricket, so went to bed at 8.30pm. Woke up at 12.30am and  was super excited by the fact that England looked good. Borthwick got his chance as did Rankin and Ballance ( at last). However Top Tyke bowler Timmy Bresnan was omitted!!!!
Anyhoo it was looking good as at 1.30am England were 94-4. Then it all started to go wrong. With the wind and rain lashing LT Towers II the comprehension that Australia were ' doing it again' started to materialise.

Yes no matter how hard the bowlers tried, they were being thwarted after dismissing the top order. Smith made 115 with Haddin adding a respectable 75.

Boyd Rankin who had been given his chance to shine, sadly left the field with a hamstring injury. Received some treatment and returned. Only to break down after bowling one ball. Well after 6 weeks 'holiday' in Australia and no cricket its hardly surprising!.

Australia were all out for 326, a great display from the middle and lower order.

England went in to bat and are currently 6-1 with the loss of Carberry's wicket. Sadly I think this is the last time Carberry will be selected, He is a great player and always a delight to watch on the county circuit, but sadly it has been painful watching in the Test arena!.


Other sad news from besty home county of Yorkshire is that Joe Syers is  retiring. Joe has spent all his career with Yorkshire, and last season wrote 'Rose Tinted Summer' The Dressing Room Diary. (Hmmmmm wonder if they will give me access all areas so that I can put quill to paper this summer.................probably not the only paper I will get will be a restraining order!).
Good luck Joe in your future pursuits.


Whilst I have been scribbling here, it is Stumps in Australia with England 8-1.

Outside at LT Towers II the wind and rain is still lashing down and I am  preparing for a 'groggy' day in super swanky Lady Lainey office. yes all the 'wonderful' month end duties to be done and I, Lady Lainey not really wanting to do them!

Oh well only 7 hours to do it in!

Have a great day at work (if you are going) and if not stay indoors as the weather is 'filthy'!

Back to the grind!!!

Well after a nearly a couple of weeks of doing nothing ( well almost nothing) and lounging around in bed and on sofa's and on the chaise longue, it is time to go back to super swanky freezeroony Lady Lainey office today.
I am guessing that when I get in Pony Paul will have chucked in two days holiday which will leave me with Job the Jolly ( aka Jo Bling) and Trill Boy. OMG I can hardly contain myself!

I could be at home, putting all my treasures on ebay to make lots of pennies for my trip to Marseilles and my flipping huge birthday party which is now  creeping towards 10 months away. lots to organise!

 And talking about getting organised, the 5th and final test begins tonight and England are still holding back on team news. Calls to bring back Prior are rife in the papers, but why bother? Also Panesar is out with an injury!!!( too much nightclubbing???).Meanwhile Rankin , Ballance and Tremlett have been having a super holiday down under and maybe one of them will be called on #earntheirkeep.

Scott Borthwick looks as if he may be included but to be honest at this stage, it wont make any difference but will mix the team up a bit..

The team where out meeting the Australian Prime Minister and pleased to see them all looking very smart.................although some of them look as if they may have over indulged at Xmas ( says she who has gorged herself!).

Captain Cook has also said that it is time for a rebirth of the team ( hurrah he has finally been reading my blog!). And that we cannot rely on the team that is constantly picked. As I have said often enough the team do not play as a 'team' and so shake it up and omit and include different players they have enough in Australia now to choose from. We have lost the Ashes so what have they got to lose, by fielding a completely revised team.

It is way too early in the morning for me to be off on a rant!!!

The former Lord Lainey dropped off our wedding photo's so that we could get some copies of pictures with Grandma Jean and Grandad Derek.
I found loads of lovely pictures that I had forgotten about.

Oh well off to freeze me what nots off and drink copious amounts of coffee, shout at boys and look pretty for 7 hours.
Have a great day.

88 days to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy New Year

Happy New Year to you all, it is the time to put all the good, bad and indifferent from 2013 behind us  and move on with a fresh slate

And boy is that what I need. 2013 was a great year but also a rough one for I, Lady Lainey as I realised that I had been poorly quite a lot and not my usual super bouncy self.So here is to a New Year and new start..................except for the fact that my New Year has started with me being exhausted. The usual suspects started letting off fireworks near LT Towers II  at about 10pm and continued infrequently until 3am when  a car with blue lights lit up the street and the fireworks were no more!

So my New Years resolutions are as follows

1. Continue my sponsored  weight loss and make money for The Taking Steps Project

2. Go alcohol free for the whole of January

3. Have the flipping time of my life all year! ( everyone should have that one!)


It  is now only 89 days to the start of the cricket season and I am super excited!!!
The Netherlands cricket team are today flying out to New Zealand for the World Cup qualifiers, good luck to them ( why do you think I have orange hair?)

No more crickety news as I am off to hop in the shower, put clean jim jams on and lounge around all flipping day! I am back in super swanky flipping freezing Lady Lainey office tomorrow.

Happy New Year to you all

Lady Lainey's review of 2013

Well its flipping early here  on the last day of the year and I have been very busy at it......................'at it' being putting together my review of 2013.

So here it is

January

Started with us saying  very sad and tearful farewell to 'Grandma Jean' who had passed away on Christmas Day 2012. We also had snow and freezing conditions. In sport the greatest drugs cheat ever was unmasked. Yes lance Armstrong was named as a big fat fibber!


February

Saw some semblance of normality return to LT Towers II ( whatever normal is!). I was feeling a little poorly for a couple of weeks but put it down to the weather and started to look forward to the cricket season. I also gave up chocolate for Lent. ( because I was really going to go with out choccy for 40 days!!!). and we had more snow, so the Hunters were out again.

March

Saw my beloved Yorkshire take on a new name for their one day matches. we all became   ' Yorkshire Vikings'. we also had Easter at the end of the month, which meant that I Lady Lainey could once again eat ( my body weight) in chocolate Phewww!!!!


April
http://ladylainey.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/tales-from-fence.html  gives a full round up of the 2013 cricket season Lady Lainey style!
We were finally approaching the cricket season so all things in LT Towers II took a back seat as preparations began ( flask washing etc). Yorkshire posted a picture on their website of the boys in the dressing room. Who was that lurking in the corner in a pair of purple undies?????? Yes it was his Royal Ryanness and I can tell you that picture made me smile.
We also had a super huge family wedding when cousin The Great Gibson got married to the lovely Diane., even though I was once again stuck down by a mystery virus I managed to get 'tarted' up and party on down!!!.


May

The start of the month  I was still not feeling too well with the lurgy which would rear its ugly head again before the end of the cricket season.. His Royal Ryanness was injured but made a full recovery  and returned to the squad before the end of the month. *huge sigh of relief*
There was also an auction of books belonging to my friend Bruce Ritchie who passed away last October. These books were  either very rare or first editions  and made nearly £250,000
Mr Funky the Chauffeur was 50 ( how flipping old???)


June

was cold wet and miserable and saw I Lady Lainey taking to my chaise longue to watch all the series of '24'. yes I was teetering on the brink of Jack Bauer land ( not quite as mad as Lady Lainey la la land).
I also managed to add another picture to my yet unpublished book ' Cricketers Posteriors' when Lancashire came to Chester Le Street. Oliver Newby was a delight to photograph ( and he didn't even know!)
Durham Police K9 division put on a display the cricket which was wonderful .
And cousin Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo was made Captain of Brimingham City FC!!!!!!


July

Lady Lainey's blogspot celebrated it's 1st birthday. Would you flipping well 'Adam and Eve' it! one whole year of total nonsense ramblings!.
Dame Did and I went off to Oxford for the Memorial Service of our Uncle Joe Robinson and met up with cousin  'Darn Sarf' Robbo and the lovely Sandra. Scorchio did not even come close to describing the temperature  that day!.
My Yorkshire Vikings were 'T20'ing at Chester le Street and that was a 'Ryantastic' evening for me . Not so Mr Funky and Pauly Paul!!.
Count Chriostophe turned 18 and really did become Lord Christophe!
And Prince George of Cambridge was born, I love babies!

August

I Lady Lainey took off back south to former home of London to celebrate the birthday of Comtessa Cruse. Whilst there I managed to spend time with besty friends Zemina and Gary. and then with besty ex Hants bowler friend, Martin Jean- Jacques, where I once again lost track of time whilst stuffing my face on amazing Lebanese food. Fantastic!
I also got very poorly , very quickly with the virus again , lots of high temperatures and heart palpitations and feeling less than Lady Like, I had to get well flipping quickly as the end of August saw me at Scarborough ( Scarbados to us up north!) for the cricket festival which this year was Durham V my Tykes . Its all in here http://ladylainey.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/tales-from-fence.html
This turned out to be the best three days I have had in a long time and I made new friends, and photographed cricketers posteriors and laughed A LOT!!!!


September

Woohoo me and the Dame went home to La Belle France to Chateau Didi Deux. A week of fromage guzzling, Gros Plant swilling  and being interrupted by my phone going into melt down as Durham won the County Championship.
Also a week of getting into mad scrapes, having jolly japes and being totally mad! ( no change there then!)
Then back home to starting a 'cricket seasons' worth of house work and nothing to do on weekends!!!!!


October

Saw me lose my voice and any of you that know me will know that this is a complete disaster. Flipping heck how on earth would I manage in Super swanky Lady Lainey office with no voice. The boys had a very quiet 10 days.
The rest of October was dull and boring as there was no cricket.And it was cold!!

November

Yeay!!!! it was the month of the birthday of I Lady Lainey and this year Dame Didi and I went to Durham to see 'Lumiere'. the lighting up of the city, we also met Police dogs Louis and Frank, gorgeous little chaps they were.
We had our 'hip flasks' of 'Moutngay' rum stashed on our persons in case we got too cold! ( well our excuse for lugging round bottles of rum)
Michael Carberry was named in the Ashes squad.And the Test series began.


December

started with the sudden death of 'Grandad' Derek which floored everyone. Christmas celebrations were put on a back burner Although Dame Didi and I did still go for our Christmas sleep over in Sheffield, luckily we had told 'Pere Noel' where we were so we got stocking s and pressies!.
England lost the Ashes and were totally 'pants'
We also attended the funeral to say farewell to Derek. A very sad day.
And now as we are on the brink of 2014. I am donning my besty tiara, fluffing my curls and raising a glass of champagne to you all and wishing you a happy and prosperous New Year.

With love from

Lady lainey

Monday 30th January

So today we are going to say our final goodbyes to Grandad Derek, who very sadly passed away just just before Christmas.. And although we are all still in shock at the suddenness, we know that he is happy now with Grandma Jean.
It is a wild and windy day today with the weather not expected to get any better, so it will be a rough ride over the A66 this morning.


Other shock news came in late last night that Michael Schumacher is in a critical condition in Grenoble. He hit his head on a rock after a skiing fall in the resort of Meribel. He was reported to have walked away from the incident but then things took a turn for the worse.
He is said to be in a coma following emergency brain surgery yesterday.
He remains in a critical condition.


In cricket good news for Jacques Kallis who in his final test, hit  over his century and took his place in history as the third highest runmaker with 13,289, one run ahead of Rahul Dravid. Pretty good going and a fantastic way to bow out although there is still another innings!!!!

However in the England camp Andy Flower says that he is 'motivated' to continue as the England coach.................hmmmm well maybe he can pass a bit of that 'motivation' onto the flipping team, as they seem to be lacking in it!.
He has also said that he is backing Cook as captain and to be honest I am with him in that point. Although Bell does seem to think that he is in charge most of the time!.

He also praised Swann in his England career but did say that he would have liked him to have seen the tour out! Well too late now!

However Swann is still capitalising on the whole debacle as it is reported that he is planning a book to reveal all about his retirement! Well he would wouldn't he? #cashtillsringing


Well Birmingham City and The Blades were both winners yesterday however the Mighty Whites let my trio down by losing. Come on boys!!!

So I am keeping this short as I have to set off  over to the North Yorkshire coast, and its not too great out there.
Dame Didi make sure you have the kettle!

It's Sunday

and as the picture shows, what a load of 'balls'!!!!!

'WHY???' I hear you all shouting ( hahaha I am laughing as I type this as anyone reading this will know why).

Well lets start at the beginning....................

.................. went out to party with Babs and Tezza, but was feeling a little under the weather. By the time I had done 'The Timewarp', 'The funky Chicken', 'The Macarena' and many other stupid dances, I was feeling so hot that I thought I was going to catch fire!!!
Then I went freezing cold! then hot, then my nose started to run like a tap and I had a banging headache. ( nothing to do with drink). I came home early, poorly!!!! What a load of balls, I had been looking forward to partying all night!...........................

............................so because I was home early I watched the 'lowlights' of yesterday mornings cricket. Shocking, shabby and sh**e! What more can I say! I then trundled up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire but put the radio on and listened to the complete humiliation of England.

In a nutshell. Australia won!

In a bigger nutshell  Australia won by 8 wickets!

In summing up this 4-0 trouncing by Australia, I have to be kind for once to Monty Panesar who did take Chris Rogers wicket but not before he had put on 116 runs.
Where do England go from here, well I suggest the airport to come home, and get into some proper training. To be honest I think that I could have done better in my 'killer heels' after having a few 'Cockspur'Golden Rums. Yes I know that I am being unkind as there were some valiant efforts  by members of the team. But to be honest even the Captain looks as if he has had enough!

Lets take the team apart and start again, its got to be the only way to move forward to a winning formula.
Bell out for a duck, sums up the fact that England are playing inconsistantly. Michael Carberry, whom 'I luurrvvees' , is a great county player but somehow has not transferred his 'bossy and aggressive' style to Test cricket. KP  still plays for himself and Joe Root has not shown any of the form from last year.

And the bandwagon rolls onto Sydney, for New Year celebrations and then the 5th and final test on 3rd January. 5-0 is looking like it may happen!

A good bit of cricket was played by Jacques Kallis who is on the verge of retirement, he hit an unbeaten 78 yesterday and I think that there are a lot of people hoping that he hits a century in his last test.


I am up and about extra early so that I can take some cold and flu capsules and then retire back to my bed,which is soon to be replaced by the super none squeaky bed which I have been waiting to be delivered. ( delivery Tuesday!!!).
So off to fill my hot water bottle. And by the time some of you are reading this in bed, I will be back in mine too!

Hmmmmm what can I write about today!!!

Oh the 'good old days' when people still had outside toilets ( obviously not quite as outside as the one in the picture), a fish and chip supper did not need you to re mortgage your house, exotic summer holidays were to somewhere that involved a 1+ hours bus/car ride. England had a really good cricket team!

Yes, yes, yes, I know that England can still win this test match if their bowling is better than their batting!, but to be honest I do not think that there is anyone out there who can seriously say that England played well over night!.

Lady Lainey and Dame Didi's favourite , Michael Carberry made watching paint dry far more interesting than his batting after being stuck for 36 balls on 1 run!.
 Joey Root gambled on a single and was out. Bell swaggered in to bat and was out for a 'Golden duck' and  back in his chair in the pavilion before even getting a sweat on !
KP was still in batting slowly  with Stokes who was looking good until he took on Lyon and gave Steve Smith a great catch.
After that Bairstow came in and looked as if he was going to up the score single handedly  but he fell foul of Johnson, now the nemesis of most of the England team!

After that the collapse was inevitable and England folded on 179.

The Australians came back to bat and put on 30 before close of play needing 201 to win.

England need their bowlers to step up to the mark if we are going to salvage anything out of this tour. I am backing Bresnan to make some head way. Well I would wouldn't I!!!!

Well strange things going on in Scotland as they announce that Paul Collingwood is to jointly lead the coaching  team into the World Cup next year in New Zealand. Collingwood has been in the assistant coach role over the last few months.


So yesterday went off to 'chubby club' and was relieved to find that I had 'only' put on 3lb. Well I think that is super flipping fantastic considering that on Christmas Eve alone I ate two flipping massive meals and drank more wine and champers than you can shake a stick at! Christmas Day wasn't much better with my 10 course breakfast ( any more black pudding?). So I now go into New Years week looking for a fantastic weight loss.

Well after I have been 'partying' tonight. I woke up this morning to a message on my phone asking me if I would like to attend a party ce soir. Flipping heck, I, Lady Lainey and parties are 'besty friends'. So I am sorting out my besty frock, shoes and tiara and come 7pm I will be shaking everything that I have got, and believe me at the moment that is a lot of shaking!!!

Hopefully I will be felling fresh as a daisy in the morning to be able to recount the events.

And we all know that this is not going to happen and I will be horribly hungover!

OMG the last F(ryan)day of 2013

Would you 'Adam and Eve' it!!! it is the last F(ryan)day of 2013!!!! This time next week we will be settling into 2014 and the cricket season will be closer!! Even the thought of cricket is making this cold and seriously windswept morning much better all ready.

Yes here in LT Towers II we are battening down the hatches as after a couple of days of jolly decent weather we are about to be lashed by storms again, and I had just managed to get my orange curls into some form of order too!!! However some people have been having it really bad, no heating, no lighting all over Christmas. I really hope that this all gets sorted out for them soon. However it won't bring back Christmas for them.

So yesterday big sis Dame Didi set off back  to Chateau Didi in the North riding of Yorkshire, to prepare for the invasion of the monster children nephews.And it was thick fog here and so frosty that it looked as if it had snowed. However this was only in Lady Laineyville, everywhere else was OK as Dame Didi later reported. Crazy weather

I meanwhile trip trapped down to Tesco, as I

1. Needed to get some fresh air

2.Needed to see if there were any  bargains

3. Needed some milk

4. Need to get a life!!!


And then came back to nap on the sofa in preparation of my 'all nighter' for the cricket.

Well the Australians took the remainder of England out , they put on 29 more runs but  were back in the pavilion in less than an hour. Johnson once again making his mark as he bowled his way through the England team

However England are staging a comeback of sorts at the MCG Anderson and Broad taking 3 wickets a piece and Top Tyke Timmy Bresnan taking two!!! ( flipping brilliant). Stokes took one whilst Panesar is still waiting to strike! ( I am not saying anything as my views on his inclusion are well documented).
The bowling was the best of the series and  reduced Australian to 164-9 . Brad Haddens and Chris Rogers showing the best batting.

Flipping heck even Geoff Boycott seemed to be supporting England again! However talk of a 5-0 whitewash being averted are a tad previous I think. Lets see what happens later.

Sad news that Jacques Kallis is to retire from  Test and First class cricket after the Test which is happening now. The 38year old is South Africa's highest Test runscorer and the fourth highest in test history. He is a great character whom I have seen play and will be missed.

Sadly the Swann saga continues as he 'attacks'  journalists. Hmmm People in glass houses.....


And so on this wild windy morning, as I prepare to go and step on the scales at 'chubby club' to see what damage I have done to my 'Sponsored slim' ( all money raised goes to 'Talking steps Project' a charity set up to help all victims of domestic violence). I hope that you are all safe and warm.  And if you are still in bed...........flipping heck Daddy Rushworth get up!!!

And that's it until next year!

Yes its all over now until next year...................and I will soon be getting started with the shopping so that I can have it all done by July and then sit back and watch everyone else run around like headless chickens. yes I love Christmas but I hate the hype, price hikes and general overkill. So getting it done early is very appealing to me.

I had a wonderful Christmas with my sister Dame Didi at the Copthorne hotel Sheffield, whose staff have to be the most friendly and courteous I have ever met.Nothing was too much trouble and everything that we needed was catered for ( except Sir Sean of Bean!!)

I was totally overwhelmed by all  my wonderful Christmas  pressies and know that I have been a very lucky Lady. Top of my pressie list was my brand spanking new black matt DAB digital  radio. I also got new boots ( because I really needed a new pair!) and favourite, fabulous smellies from the south of La Belle France, and clothes and kitchen goodies and...........................I could fill this blog and tomorrows with all the wonderful things that I received but I think that by that time you may be bored.

Well Dame Didi also has a jolly stinking cold and has soldiered on even though she has been feeling tres poorly. I have been the besty 'nurse' administering cold and flu remedy and making sure that she is warm/cool depending on her temperature. Hope that she is better before the New Year.

So last night I went off to bed with my new radio, but was so tired that I decided not to listen to the test. Australia won the toss and decided to field. England had not named the team until the last minute  and had added Bairstow and Panesar to the team.  England are currently 226-6 which I would say is not too bad. KP on  67. The scorecard is not really worth going through!!!


Still the 'Swann' thing goes on with certain papers saying that his 'retirement' was  a indulgent, opportunistic and totally selfish surrender'. And we all thought that he was leaving because he was tired of the bandwagon!

No chance he is about to jump onto a more lucrative vehicle!


Today sees footy action up and down the country with

Birmingham travelling to Wigan ( Cousin Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo hopefully on his best behaviour)

The Mighty Whites are away to Blackpool ( chance to have candy floss and fish and chips before they come home?)

And

The Blades are home to Oldham. I know this is true as I was looking at the signs when I was at The Copthorne which is only flipping well attached to Bramall Lane ( which is why it is the besty hotel in the world).


I hope that you all got what you wanted for Xmas, I know that some of us would like a quiet Boxing Day but squeaky toys will be making an appearance again today and probably driving us wild, however remember your best furry friend loves it!


Have a peaceful and restful Boxing Day

Merry Christmas Everybody

Woohoo its flipping Christmas and I for one have been awake since like really early!!!!

Now I am blinking shattered and ready for a nap.

Dame Didi however is not too well she has got a streaming cold and is not too full of the Christmas spirit ( although I am sure that if I offer her a hot toddy she would perk up).

So yesterday we arrived in Sheffield and I had my second bath this year, which was wonderful, I will be having my 3rd bath as soon as I have finished  this!!!!.

We had lunch at the wonderful 'Smoke BBQ' which was so good we asked if they were open today!!!!'

We had a wander around the shops and then last night had the most amazing dinner at the Hotel.

So what has been happening elsewhere.

Well the cricket is hotting up in more ways than one. Namely the Swann saga continues' With KP also coming into the arena. Surely KP not up his own behind! REALLY!!!!

I also would like to suggest that for the remainder of the tour Captain Cook is the only one who makes any statements  as it seems that everytime a member of the team talks to the press they put their foot in it.

Well it is a short one as there is lots to do and we have just been having a bit of a cry watching the  soldiers celebrating Christmas in Camp Bastion.

Merry Christmas to everyone.

And even if you are a Christmas grump I hope you have a wonderful christmas

Sheffield here we come!!!

Well it was all stations go yesterday in LT Towers II, as the  excitement was mounting in preparation for the imminent arrival of Pere Noel. Pink Hippo and Teddy Forj got their Xmas hats on and the house got a very thorough cleaning, also lots of 'peeps' passing through with gifts and cards.

Not that I will be in 'The Towers' because I am off to Sheffield to have lots of fun and champagne swilling with besty sister  Dame Didi. Yes we are off to Bramall Lane in about 3 hours!!!!! I am so super excited that I have hardly slept. Well actually the flipping weather has kept me awake most of the night, with lashing rain and howling wind. However once I have twirled my curls and put a bit of slap on you will never be able to tell that I have had about 4 hours sleep.

Talking of sisters, eldest sister Tzarina Katerina  is, as we speak in the Arctic Circle. Yes indeedy. However the other night she missed the Northern Lights by 5 minutes!!!! We are still awaiting news of the sled ride ( they will have to be some powerful huskies!). However wishing her a Happy Birthday for today and hope the she has a great time in the real icy wastes of the North.


Over in Australia things are hotting up ahead of the Boxing Day test. England have called up Scott Borthwick from Champions of the world Durham.  So it looks like his turkey and Christmas pudding will have to wait. James Tredwell from Kent was also on the plane down under.

To be honest this test is the time for England to put themselves back into order. This is where the new England team needs to start to take shape. This is their chance to start to whittle down and fine tune a new and younger team. This is where I should have been appointed to give the team talks.

The Graeme Swann saga continues and to be honest he has left cricket  for good, leaving a trail of damning comments in his wake not really sportsman like, methinks!

So it is time to get ready and head of in the Dame Didi Daimler to 'sunny' Sheffield, Where I will not be going on the 'Sheffield Eye'!!!! ( too blinking scaredy last time) but will be joining in with any carol singers that I can find. And of course I will be partaking in a dash of Christmas Spirit ( probably Captain Morgans Golden Rum!!).

I wish you all a great Christmas Eve and to those of you who are still running around getting xmas pressies.........................you should have started earlier!!!!!!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!!!!

Yes indeedy doody it is, even my 'cricketer boys' aka 'Legs XI' ( even though there are only four of them!) are getting into the spirit of all things Christmassy.

I am sure that once I am safely ensconced in the Copthorne at Sheffield  tomorrow then I, Lady Lainey will start to feel like Christmas is really here!
I was busy yesterday getting soaked to the skin on three separate occasions and will be very surprised if I don't get a stinking cold between now and New Year. Oh well what flipping better excuse to have a few hot toddy's????!!!!!


Oh blinking blimey!!! Graeme Swann been at it again, on Twitter this time, saying some players are 'up their own backsides'. He then tweeted Michael Vaughan (???) to say he was not referring to any England players ( yeah right!!! there are two that I could think of instantly in the England dressing room). Why can't he bow out gracefully instead of leaving a trail of social media 'gaffs' behind.

In my book this isn't doing him any favours!. It makes him look like a sore loser and sometimes keeping silent is the best way.#ladylaineysadviceoftheday

I also think that his decision to go 'just like that' will have a negative impact on the team that are left behind. They are now 2 crew down.

The oracle that is Geoff Boycott, has stated that we need Monty Panesar back in the team. Well he hardly set the field alight in his last outing and to be honest, we need him as much as bouncers in Brighton do!!!


Further news from Dave Newman on the World record cricket net attempt. they have now gone global!!!

They have been given a huge write up by Cricketworld which you can read at http://www.cricketworld.com/world-record-cricket-net-attempt/

The boys are fundraising like mad for Brain Tumour Research, and have even  had donations  from 'Santa' who has been doing the rounds early in Lincolnshire!
They are holding pub quizzes in the local area, so why not  drop in have a pint and donate some money for a great cause.

If I was local I would drop in to add glamour to the occasion ( except if it was raining when I would have an orange afro, not a good look ever!!!!).

And as it is still pitch black outside and I don't have to go to super swanky Lady Lainey office, I think that I will sign off and head off back to bed to read my book!!
What a 'rock n roll' life I lead.

joyeux noel tout le monde