The season hots up!

Woohoo it's early days in the cricket season but already it is 'hotting' up. Yes those Yorkie boys made a bit of a day of it yesterday with Gary Ballance hitting an amazing 130, His Royal Ryanness scoring 5 and the Tykes closing their second innings on 416!!!

In reply Middlesex proved to be in a bit of a challenge for the bowlers with only one wicket falling before close of play and the score being 230-1.

Wow I am super flipping excited about next week and I can tell you that is going to be some wobbly fence I am sitting on!!

Yorkshire have crept up to third place, BUT as I said it is early in the season and there is everything to play for.

Well their were no babies over night and today Pony Paul had settled down but Trill Boy was still looking very pale and sick, and every time his phone 'beeped' he nearly jumped out of his skin!. Oh dear, this is going to be a very long and tortuous labour!.


In fact all baby talk in the office has ended and not even the mention of a nappy escape their mouths, I think that the full enormity of father hood is sinking in.

I went out for a long walk tonight after work last night and bumped into the local 'bobby' who had a nice chat with me, not once mentioning my stalking of his Royal Ryanness, but a general chat, mainly about the amount of dog poo on the pavements. And I thought that they were there to catch robbers and bad men!!!

And so today I am preparing to do a spot of 'weight lifting' after work and go for a long walk, I am sure that by the weekend I will be 3 in shorter if I carry on this way.

However time is moving swiftly on and I have to get the Lady Lainey limo out of the garage and get on my way to 'maternity central'. I am now kind of hoping that it all happens at the weekend, then everyone can return to some sort of normality ( well as normal as it gets in my office!)

until tomorrow and possibly another exciting instalment of 'Lady Lainey's labour ward!

Those Yorkie Boys!!!

Flipping heck no sooner do my feet get planted back on British soil then the Yorkie boys go mad, oh yes they do.

They only flipping well bowled Middlesex out for 178 and his Royal Ryanness took 4 flipping wickets!!!! What is going on? is he wanting the match over and done with so that he can get to Durham at the weekend and meet moi? ( flipping doubt that. 'Hey Mr policeman that woman with hair like mine is stalking me!').

AND I also found out that His Royal Ryanness had also had trials for Sheffield United when he was younger.........................would you flipping, chuffing well 'Adam and Eve' it. he was nearly a Blade too!!!!

When Yorkshire went back into bat little Joey root hit  63 and they closed the day on 213-4.

'COME ON YOU TYKES!!!!!!'

Former besty home county of Durham have confirmed that they have signed up Kumar Sangakkara for two matches..........................hmmm I wonder if the 'strawberry blond' one will have his nose pushed out of joint. I feel a fractured fingernail coming on................


Back in super swanky Lady Lainey office the pile in my 'in tray' showed that the boys had at least done some work whilst I was away but they had left so much for me to do that I was working my orange curls off.

Then this afternoon, it looked as if Baby 'Fullerina' was on the way. Trill Boy looked as if he was going to be sick, and then Pony Paul realised that it wouldn't be long before his bundle of joy arrived, they went very........very......very quiet!

At this moment in time there is no word on babies movements, so I am guessing that I won't be an 'Auntie' when I get to the office.

If they have their babies together it will leave Job the Jolly and I in the office, well the conversation will be IPL, Durham and of course Yorkshire ( whether Jobbers likes it or not)

Lady v Washing round 2,3 and 4 took place late last night and I went to bed with the washing machine still going. We are now on round 5, I just wish I had somewhere to dry everything!!!!

Oh well another day, another pile of paperwork to do,best get on with it.

Have a super day and for those of you who have finally completed your 'little jobs' at home and are feeling smug, I have a bath that needs fitting!!!


Bon journee

Back to work

So I am back in blighty and preparing for a full day at work and lots to do this evening too.

Yesterday I arrived back in Manchester and had a little detour to Clitheroe to see Paul and Trish and Maisie before heading back to sunny ( not) Lady Laineyville.

I caught up on all things cricket as my Tykes were in London playing Middlesex.

his Royal Ryanness made a respectable 12. Joe Root was back but sadly out for a duck, however good to see him back with the squad.
Yorkshire closed their innings on 178

The press were full of 'Finn bowling out Yorkshire cheaply' with his haul of 4-50

 However,Middlesex took the field and Jacky Brooks saw off two batsmen, whilst His Royal Ryanness saw another one toddle off back to the Pavilion. Yes he is going for 700 wickets no doubt about it!

And he is doing well too!!!

He who must not be named in the blog, was not having a great day in the IPL as he scored 16 and Delhi Daredevils lost to Sunrisers Hydrabad. He did say that he was pleased to be batting again and that it was great to be playing in fornt of these fans. A knock to England supporters I guess, but hey hoo on ward and upward!

The Deer Park here at Tykes Towers is in full growth, not sure what the Deer have been doing whilst I was away.However Countess Christine of Mc Nally has been waging a one woman crusade to stop people dumping ponies and horses in residential areas of Lady laineyville. What the 'donald duck' is that all about?


Well I hear the washing machine coming to the end of its cycle as 'Lady v washing round 1 ' comes to a close, Just the other 10 rounds to go

Sorry that this is a short one , but lots to do and lots to catch up on.

have a good day.

Homeward bound

so today I am homeward bound, and sooo looking forward to the joys of work tomorrow!!!!. However I have not heard that there are new babies yet so i am guessing that the expectant 'peres' will be in a state of panic every time the phone rings.

I love babies!!

If his Royal Ryanness is reading this I want to say thank you for retweeting my tweet. We are all working on the same side ( but the Yorkshire side is tres better!! :-)  ).

I had the chance to browse the French B & Q ( Leroy & merlin) and also 'pulled' a charming young Frenchmen, he was all of 18 months, strapped in a trolley and laughing his head of at me until as I was leaving he started to blow kisses............tooo cute for words!!

as you are reading this I am either in a taxi 'en route' to the airport ( even greyer than I was when I got in ) or I am there and waiting to get onto the plane.
It is the Nantes marathon today so I am leaving the hotel earlier than I need to to avoid runners, and judging by the driving of the taxi yesterday the runners should take cover!!!!


I hope you have all had a bon weekend and are ready for the week ahead, I know the I am NOT!!!!

The mystery of the 'Marie'

So in a field close to Chateau Didi there is a 'marie' in a fenced and gated wooded area. Why? Who does the land belong to? why is there a terrace? And a moat?

As it was a grey and overcast and sometimes wet day yesterday I decided to walk into the 

'village' and just stretch my legs, as I walked past the 'Mairie' office (Mayor) I realised it was open so thought that I would go in and see if they knew the answer to the 'Marie' statue.

This statue is of The Virign Mary, you see them all over Frnce but to see one in  private field is strange.

I asked the Lady on reception, she shrugged and said she didn't know it, however another lady said she had heard of it but never seen it. Then another Lady asked if it was surrounded by a moat and had a 'gazebo' which it did.

By this point I as getting very excited thinking that I was close to getting answers.

The second lady then said that the land was 'prive' and that they had no idea who it belonged to!!!!!!

So near and yet so far!!!

This was the mayors office they are supposed to know everything, or did they and just weren't divulging the info to an English woman with orange/ grey curls???? decide that for yourselves.

Meanwhile back at home. Yorkshire were putting their feet up and relaxing after beating Northants. Durham however had to be content with a draw.

I am now getting very excited about the upcoming 'Derby' wooooohoooo that  is going to be some balancing act sitting on that fence!!!!!

Ou est le soleil?

Zut alors, sacre bleu, et petit pois!!!!!!! where has the sun gone.

over night we had torrential rain , there are still grey clouds in the sky but the sun is threatening to shine, which after a marathon sunbathing day yesterday, is what I want.


today is busy, I must race to St Gilles to go to the bank and then head off to Le Clerc and Mr bricollage, to get some DIY stuff. Yes I may be a few thousand miles from Tykes Towers but there is always DIY to do.

And Yorkshire have been 'doing it themselves  as they bowled Northampton out for 94. Jacky Brooks taking  5 wickets of his former club, whilst His Royal Ryanness took 4!!!! top boy, top boys!!! top team!!!!!


Durham at home to Somerset were on  152-7, in their second innings. I have herd that it is freezing cold over there so ...........................baaaahaaaahaaaa its flipping warm here and thats OK for me. OK that is men spirited so to all Durham fans, wrap up warm if you are eading out today.

C'est le paque

bonjour c'est le paque. Or hello it is Easter' and here in La belle France I am hoping that lapin de paque  will be dropping  my ginormous Easter egg for me in the AM' which I can then consume for my brekkie, however in the real world as I am not allowed any chocolate as I am the size of a chateau and getting larger I will have to be content with an apple!!!!

So yesterday the Dame and I headed off to the beach  very early and had breakfast, then we went 'treasure hunting' and finally spent an hour  people watching before heading off to the Chateau.

The weather is glorious here at the moment and so most of my time has been spent  lying around on the 'anti gravity' loungers and sunning myself.

Last night we walked over the fields at the rear of the chateau were there is a private field which hold a statue of The Virgin Mary, it is surrounded by a small moat and has a little lake at the rear. We have no idea who owns the land or why the 'Mary' is there. its very strange, but very also a very quiet spot too.

Back in cricket I have not been able to track the scores this morning but know that Yorkshire batted well.

I must try to catch up on all sport.

so today we are having a little drive out to St Gilles and then back to the terrace for lunch.

Hope you all have had a great Easter weekend.

Easter Sunday

Well it is easter Sunday although everyday is a holiday at the moment so I don't really care what day it is.

However in the cricket world yesterday  it was a good day for Peter Moores as he was named as the new England coach. Well they had to find someone soon because to be honest Ashley Giles was not the man for the job. Lets see what happens this summer before we doom Moores.


Also good news that Paul Downton has said there is no gong back on the 'he who must not be named inthis blog'. he has gone and will not be recalled under Moores.


Sadly, my besty friend @garasT20, I know you know him well, but my lovely he is and never will be a favourite of I, Lady lainey.

I got up yesterday morning to find that I have huge bruises on both arms and in a lot of pain it took me a while to realise it was where I had been 'man handled' at Manchester airport by a sour faced old crone. the beeping as she ran the wand over my ample busom was due to the amazing feat of structural engineering that is my bra and not some terrorist device.......................although I guess you could launch rockets from it in a catapult type way!!!!!!!

by the time you are reading this the Dame and I will be eating breakfast on the beach after early morning beach combing. can you think of a better way to start the day??

good luck to all my boys playing cricket today, I will try to keep up on twitter.



lots of love from Coex

Day two in the Chateau Didi

Good morning and the start of day two proper in Chateau Didi. Yesterday we gave up to sleeping and sunbathing although I drove us down to St Aquillion for a coffee at the local cafe, only to be so 'disturbed' by the Dame trying to sit on my knee whilst I as driving' She said I as nearly in the ditch!!!! #nowyouknowhowIfeel!!!

When we got back I spent a coule of hours out on the terrace on the anti gravity loungers before retiring to the lounge to fallasleep on the sofa waking up in time for dinner.............and wine.........and fromage blac........oh I am in food heaven.

Tres sad news re Trotty as I caught up with BBC sport last evening. Sad to hear that he is taking another break from cricket due to recurring stress related illness. I did think that he came back too quickly. But wish him a speedy recovery, and say DO NOT READ THE PRESS REPORTING ABOUT YOURSELF!!!

I am booking to stay at the Oceania at Nantes Atlantique the night before mon grand depart. Oh dear, it is usualy carnage when I am there!! And it usually occurrs after a couple of large Pastis.

The sun is up and shining very brightly today even though the forecast in 'Ouest France' newspaper said overcast. So I am taking my life (or blubber however you look at it) in my hands and heading off to the beach at St Gilles Croix de Vie to go searching for beautiful stones and beach glass, and to have a bit of a sunbathe too. as well as 'splodging in the sea'

I am sure that the day will not be quite as peaceful as that...............................when is it ever. Hopefully the Dame won't see a mermaid!!!!! OMG you just know it will be a trip to the  beach to remember,

until tomorrow whenit is closer to the arrivel of 'Lapin de paque'

Good F(ryan)day

Bonjour

And welcome to my home here in La Belle France!! We arrived safely in Nantes having travelled with the Liverpool under 15 squad and then were given the car of our choice.........from a Fiat Panda and, Fiat 500 , or Peugeot 107, ZUT ALORS how did they expect me to get my bags in any of those choices let alone get the Dame and I in them!!!

So we opted for the Panda and managed to get half a horse and 300 bottles of Gos Plant in too!!! 

Arriving at Chatau Didi we dumped everything and went straight into the pool, OMG it was wonderful, then knowing that drinking rum any time before sundown makes you a pirate and not an  alcoholic, we polished off a bottle of amber rum. Well we are on holiday and rules go out of the window!!! no change there then.

After BBQ'ing the said half of horse and polishing it off with salad, we retired to the lounge to drink ourselves into oblivion. well it does the soul good does it not?

So what  does Good F(ryan)day hold. Well as the sun is shining I am sure that there will be swimming, as well as BBQing and also a bit of drinking, and if we can get the flipping sound system to work, there might even be music and singing ( Oh tres Joy!!! say neighbours Mr & Mrs S.O Dog and Naked shower Guy).

I also am going to get myself lying in the sun on the famous 'anti gravity' lounger and then fall asleep ( and probably fall off).

I have not had a chance to check on the  footy fixtures for the weekend or the IPL so will do that later if the WiFi ( of wiffy as it is known here in France) holds out.

so got to dash there is sunshine and I want to make the most of it

A tout a l'heure

time to travel

Wooohoooo by the time that  most of you read this I will be nearly be back home in La Belle France and it will be wine o'clock ( well to be honest every hour is wine o' clock).

However before the fun and excitement that is my 'grand return' there is lots of crickety news.

1. 'He who must not be named' is out of the opening matches of the IPL because he has hurt his finger( broken finger nail more like)!!! Well he got paid to sit it out last year, so why the devil not this year!!

2.Both besty home county of Yorkshire and former besty home county of Durham drew their matches despite some valiant play. My Tykes are just above the champions of the world in the table.

3. Durham are talking about the possible link with Kumar Sangakkara amid reports that he will join the champions for part of the season. Coach Jon Lewis is 'excited' by the prospect. Woww!! I would like to see the look of excitement on his face, as he usually only has one expression...................flipping miserable.

4. Hampshire won their match after a great innings from Dame Didi's ( and Lady lainey's ) super favourite Michael Carberry. And of course every hack in the universe is now stating that he is after another place in the England team. My advice.........for what its worth........ Michael concentrate on steering Hampshire back into Division 1.

5. After comments made in the press last week by Chris Rogers, that Joe Root is not an England opener, Gillespie the Gallant has come to the fore and said that he thinks Joe is. He told Radio Leeds that he 'respectfully disagrees with Chris, Joe Root is a fantastic opening bat'. He said that the fact that Root has been played in various positions for England has not helped him to settle into any one placing.
And to honest if any one should know Joe, its Jase!!!


This is a super short one as it is stupid o' clock, but I  am super excited, my curls need twirling and I am  need to get some make up on tooo so as not frighten any small children in the airport.

So until tomorrow when I will be reporting from the other side of La Manche.

Bon Jour

No work Wednesday

So we are now mid week and it is now super packing day. Time to throw everything into the cases and try to make them fit.

I have the all important things sorted.......................shoes, hanbags and make up bag so if nothing else I can face the world each morning!

Which is something that both Durham and my Tykes will not be relishing today after both having frustrating bowling days yesterday,
In Northants, the wickets were not forthcoming for the champions of the world as they struggled to get the home side out. Northamptonshire closed their first innings on 378 with  Matthew Spriegal falling three short of his century. Harrison and Ashad were the pick of the bowlers as they took 3 and 4 wickets respectively.

When Durham went into bat, Northants had regained their form and at close of play Durham were 178-5!!!
Looks as if they are heading for a draw.

Yorkshire too were being thwarted in the bowling at Somerset as Johann Myburgh settled in for a batting marathon, scoring 91 on his Somerset debut. Yorkshire started the day in a strong position, gradually tailed off as the home side closed on 530-9.

So this morning I am expecting His Royal Ryanness to take the last wicket which should take his FC tally to 615 ( I think).

Rumours are abounding about the possibility of Finn being back in the England side.WTF!!! Pick him and he will do nothing for the team. He may be good in the opening matches of the season but mark my words put him in the team and he will just be sitting in the dressing room.
He had a wonderful winter holiday in Australia and now is looking forward to a possible feet up for the summer. he is not test material.

OK little tiny rant over now.

The IPL is about to start with all the razzmatazz that this holds. And of course he who must not be named in this blog ( Big Kev). Has said that  he is not out to prove anything whilst over there. Of course he isn't he's only there for the money!


And talking money I had best get down to the bank and sort out my pennies for my holiday!
Wooohooo I am off home to La Belle France.

When you read tomorrows blog I will be firmly ensconced in 'Madchester' airport where hopefully there will be heavy breathing cross dressers behind me in the queue. Getting tucked into my coffee cake in Costa's and reading any cricket mag that I have purchased in WH Smiths.

Have a super day y'all

Flipping Tuesday and not packed!

Oh no it's Tuesday and I am still not packed!!! I haven't even got 'piles'!!!! ( of clothes that is! or the other either!!!!). I am really leaving this to the last minute!!! And that will spell disaster as I am sure to forget something!

One thing that I won't be forgetting is my all important 'tablet so that I can  send you all my blog from La Belle France. Well I know you will miss all the exploits of I, Lady Lainey and Dame Didi, most especially 'commando' style raids on next doors garden and coming face to 'face' with naked shower guy!. And the reports on the super illuminations in the night sky. Well that is all to come over the next couple of weeks and goodness only knows what other 'trouble' we will get into.

So firstly before I go into total melt down, lets see what happened yesterday in the cricket. Well my 'spy' in Northants said that the weather was good and that the hotel had WiFi and a television AND soft toilet roll, so that was all good but how were Durham fairing?
Well they went all guns blazing to post a total of  452 with Phil Mistard scoring 91. and super polite young man Jamie Harrison making his besty ever score with the bat of 65. Top boy and top knock!
He then went on to take two wickets, but Northants were fighting back and at the close of play were 200-3.


Down in Taunton, Rashid got his ton and Yorkshire were looking good. Even his Royal Ryanness was doing good with the bat but ( unlucky for some) 13 was not his number and he was out. I was boohooing when I read that ! They were all out for 450 which is pretty good in my book.

Ryan took a wicket and Plunkett took two as Somerset took too batting. They closed on  166 -3 and I am desperately trying to find out his Royal Ryanness's running total of first class wickets! Someone help me out here, is it 618 or 614??????

In the second division Hampshire were looking better than on Sunday Vince scored a century and took themselves to 417-9 in reply to 304 form Gloucestershire.

It's all to play for one day three!

Well baby talk is to the fore in  super Swanky Lady Lainey office as Trill Boy and Pony Paul await the imminent arrivals of their little bundles of joy.Yes it may all kick off when I am on my jollies. Well they will still be talking about it or mumbling about it through lack of sleep on my return.

Oh well as you will see from the time of this posting I am up way too early and still have lots to do. So best get on with it.

have a super crickety day where ever you are.

And if you are near Shrewsbury School they have a cricket festival starting today.

They fought to the last

Well what can I say, because saying that The Blades lost in the semi-final to Hull does not even come close to the battle that took place at Wembley yesterday. Nigel Clough is rightly full of pride for his team regardless of defeat. In a nutshell, The Blades took the lead, Jose Baxter opened the scoring for The Blades in the 19th minute and they held that lead until Hull equalised in the 42 minute. The Blades came back in the 44th minute to take the lead at half time.

My heart was beating way too fast after half time, as Hull scored again in the 49th minute. Then Quinn scored for Hull and it looked as if it was all over. Which in theory it was at 4-2 to Hull. But Murphy pulled back another goal in the 90th minute to bring the Sheffield fans to their feet. in the 93rd minute Hull scored a 5th goal making this one of the most fought out semis I have ever seen.

Sheffield united may not have won but they gave their fans every penny back of the money spent on a ticket.

What a fantastic game and well played to both teams

It was also a super crickety Sunday, I was listening to the Durham match on the radio whilst continuing to decorate and to be honest up until lunch it was like watching paint dry!!!! Stoneman went early and Borthwick seemed to take a century to make 20 runs. it took Richardson and Mustard to really hit out and bring up the scoring. Durham closed on  265-5.

Yorkshire were showing their class  at Taunton as Lyth, Ballance and Rashid showed why Yorkshire deserve to be champions. His Royal Ryanness got to sit in the pavillion and watch the marathon 'Hart to Hart' film run that was on Movie Mix, as Yorkshire closed on 342-5

#coyt  #wayaw

Hampshire were not fairing too well in Gloucestershire as the home team steamed ahead to 292-5. Well it was only the first day.


A little bird told me that there is some cricket going on at Shrewsbury School this week. Well Mr Rob Morris have a good time if you are involved in it.

So what does today have in store for I Lady Lainey. well work, work and more work. and then home to packing, housework.

Where are my 'staff' to do this for me???? Why are there only three days until I go on my jollies and my smalls are still not in my suitcase? Why can I not find any clothes to take on my jollies when I have wardrobes in every flipping room in the house? and don't get me stared on which shoes and handbags to take..................................... yes its going to be a full on three days before I set of 'homeward' bound to La Belle France.

Oh well off to work

A tout a l'heure

Up the Blades!!!

So today has dawned sunny ( ish) even though it is a tad chilly. ( found that out going to hang the washing out whilst wearing just my Yorkshire shirt!!). However today is about Yorkshire, but not my Tykey Viking cricket boys.
Today is the FA Cup semi final at WEMBERRRRLEEYYY!!! Oh yes indeedy. The Blades are off to Wembley.

And if they claim Hulls scalp it will be the first time since Southampton in 1902 that a club outside of the first two divisions have made the finals.

Yes I am all prepared, I have my Sheffield United beanie hat to wear and am in good voice to sing the 'Greasy Chip Butty' song, So if you want to join in here are the words.......

'To the tune of Annies Song'.
You fill up my senses
Like a Gallon of Magnet
Like a packet of Woodbines
Like a good pinch of snuff
Like a night out in Sheffield
Like a greasy chip butty
Like Sheffield United
Come fill me again
Na na na na na  Ohhhhh


I need to get on and get paint slapped on, and get my smalls packed so that  ready to cheer and get super excited.

I the cricket world, Durham are at Northants, and Yorkshire are at Somerset. Hopefully they have all had a good nights sleep and are ready for the start.

I can listen to the Durham match form 11am as it is on 5live Sports, so  will be able to get busy, busy. Sadly I will not be able to listen to Yorkshire as I am slightly out of range of BBC Radio Somerset.

I have a list as long as my arm of things that I have to sort out today, so without further ado, i must jolly well get on.

Why does it have to be a super sporty Sunday when I am super busy?????

If you are travelling to cricket today have a safe journey.

Not so sunny Saturday

Zut alors!!! Il fait froid et il pleut, or in English, it is cold and it is raining!!. Ou est le soleil???? ( where is the sun??) As you can tell I am getting into the swing of speaking in the mother tongue ready for my return home next week. However as there is no sunshine today there will be no holiday washing on the line and instead Tykes Towers will have my 'smalls' strewn all over the flipping place. Oh dear!

There will be smalls strewn all over the place at the many homes of  the players of besty home county of Yorkshire and former besty home county of Durham as players ( and supporters) pack their bags ready for the off  and the start of the 'real' County championship games.

His Royal Ryanness did tell me what his total of first class wicket total was for his career ( I think 617???) but as I am 21 years old sometimes I tend to forget things, I can't remember. Anyhoo some cricket badger will let me know so that I can begin the count down to the big 700.

I have very high hopes for 'my boy'!

Durham Skipper Paul Collingwood has been talking to the press about his 'final flourish', how he wants to see what he thinks will be his final season, out on a high. Will Durham win the championship this season? Well with Rushworth and Harrison looking in good form it could be a good bowling attack. however Harrison is prone to injury so its to be hoped that he is not affected this season. Chris Rushworth is looking streamlined this year helped I am sure by his year long 'dry' challenge. With Stokes still injured  the batting attack is open to any who take up the gauntlet.

My Tykes look good on the bowling front with Liam Plunkett showing great form again. His Royal Ryanness??? well that's to be seen this week.I love it when he takes the first wicket!!!

Hampshire are going for promotion with all guns blazing, and I for one really hope that they do it.

So I am now getting myself set to go for a walk ( 2 mile hike to be precise) and then back to the decorating. To say that Tykes Towers looks as if it has been burgled is an understatement. There is not one room in the house that is tidy. but hopefully that  will change over the weekend.

So I am going to 'Narnia' to get the suitcase out and then off for my hike and then the real work begins


Hope that your Saturday is not as busy as mine!

F(ryan)day, best day of the week

Yes it is F(ryan)day and we all know the excitement that this holds...................yeay!!! the weekend and the prospect of more decorating as well as packing for my jollies!

I have so much to flipping well do and I cannot believe that I have so little time to do it in. The diet has gone out of the window so there are a few things that may happen to me in La belle France

1. I do not venture onto the beach at St Gilles Croix de Vie

2. I do venture onto the beach at St gille Croix de Vie and get harpooned

3. I eat and drink my body weight in all the local specialities

( me thinks that the 3rd one is the most likely)

I will however be missing my cricket but will keep up on twitter as long as  Wifi ( of wiffy as they call it in France) allows. I have a cunning plan too, I have a 'mole' who will feed me all the info on the Durham games, Just need to find one at Yorkshire and I am all set.

I was sitting watching the news last night when who should pop up on my screen but His Royal Ryanness and Gillespie the Gallant. Wooohooo happy days!!

It all starts on Sunday when my Tykes are away to Somerset. No scrumpy though boys.

Durham are away to Northampton, no soft toilet roll or Wifi boys!!!

Hampshire are away to Gloucestershire, better win boys!


I am getting super excited as it is only 3 weeks until I am within touching distance of His Royal Ryanness, however being a Lady  I will just be pointing my camera at him. Well it is that time of the year again, yes time to renew the cricket 'snaps' and add to my posterior shots.

So what else is on the horizon................ well suntanning, wine swilling and lots of reading on my vacances.

Lots to look forward to this season as my Tykes strive to be champions ( they always will be in my book).
Painting the garage door and gardening ( well tidying!)

Oh joy!!! so much to do and so much time to waste thinking about doing it.

However after this weekend I hope to have Tykes Towers in order and be all set for the season.

So being Friday its bacon and egg butty day, so I had best get my orange birdsnest curls sorted and rev up the Lady Lainey limo ready for the drive to super swanky Lady Lainey office.

only 7 hours of torture and then its the WEEKEND!!!!!!

Heatwave on the way?

Well I was very lucky this winter here at Tykes Towers as I was never woken in the morning to the white stuff all over the front lawn, it was however flipping cold and wet, but the weather forecasters are saying that we are going to have a three month heatwave which will start at the end of the month and continue for three months. Well that coincides nicely with my return from my 'grand vacances' and also with the cricket season, so hopefully I will be able to expose several inches of flesh without the fear of getting frostbite!


Yesterday was a cold day here in the North East of Blighty so those Durham boys will have needed their thermals on, as they took to the field. First wicket of the day went to Chris Rushworth, which was a great start to the season for him. However it was super polite young man Jamie Harrison who seemed to be on a mission taking 3 wickets. Head coach Jon Lewis has hinted that he may field the same team at Northampton, the match starts on Sunday.
The match ended in a draw.

Sadly my Tykes will not be fielding the same side in their next match as Jonny Bairstow  has broken  his finger and will be out for 4-6 weeks. Well I knew that they would be having SOME changes, they aren't going to let his Royal Ryanness sit around on the sofa watching 'Bargain Hunt' all season!!!

Wisden named Joe Root one of their five cricketers and also Charlotte Edwards, who becomes only the second woman to be named, Clare Taylor being the other woman.


Well I had a little chuckle when I read the piece this morning from KP ( actually it was more of a real belly laugh and I probably woke up the whole road). Well KP says that the England players DID like him, contrary to reports otherwise. He said he had a good relationship with MOST of the guys ( NOTE, most) and he says that he was the first person to spot Jonathan Trotts stress related problem!!!! Well now then I know which boys liked him a lot, the South African team!!!! And adding doctor to his CV will help him considerably when he finally retires from cricket.


Oh he just will not go away will he?????? Well I think that the time is nigh to ban him from my blog as he bores me senseless with his over inflated ego. So as from today we say a well deserved goodbye to FIGJAM.


Well its that time of the day again and I need to get a very Lady like wriggle on oh and Dame Didi I really am a d**k, my car tax is due at the end of this month!!! Yes I would have come back form La Belle France and been illegal, more illegal than normal!!!!


Have a super day and remember that its nearly the weekend, so if that doesn't get you through nothing will!

Mid week and nearer to the weekend

Yes it is midweek and so we are closer to the weekend and all that it holds, for me, that means more decorating and also packing of the suitcase ready for la grand vacances. Yes only just over a week until I am in the land of my dream car, the Deux Chevaux. I cannot wait until I am 'bombing' around the lanes of the Champagne Region in my tin can on wheels. Well I do it here so no change really!

However before all of that takes place lets see how the cricket went yesterday, well it was sunshine all round and all the teams went out to play. No skipping or hopscotch though, they were playing proper games. Yes it was time to play cricket.

My Tykes were having a bit of a 'friendly' but had left His Royal Rynness at home to have a bit of R & R ready for the big 700, this season.

Durham were taking on the students and after losing a very quick wicket, finally closed the day 487 all out. Captain Colleywobble hit a century and the newly streamlined Chris Rushworh hit 27. The season 'proper' starts for them on Sunday when  they  head off to Northampton shire...........

Which is where my Tykes are at this moment.
Some people have been lured to Northampton with promises of WiFi and soft toilet roll and TV in their accommodation. We shall see!.

Else where Hampshire got to play and appeared to be in trouble until Sean Ervine stepped up to the crease and made 93 which helped them out of a sticky situation after a badly rain affected match. They finished on 263, and at stumps Worcestershire were 103-1.

Today it is all stations go at Lady Lainey office as there is lots of work to do and not too much time to do it in.

So as they say in all the best places ( my blog being one of them) Time and tide wait for no Lady so I am off to twirl my curls, get into full voice ( even though there are only two boys today) and drink copious amounts of rooibos tea.

Oh the delights of working in the cricket season, I see Twitter will be taking another battering today.

And finally Dame Didi, I cannot believe that you did not recognise the picture from yesterday. Due to 'having a couple of shandies ' you said...............................more like a bucket of Pastis washed down with champagne chasers.

I will continue the 'where in France' pictures at a later date.

I am however a tad concerned that due to have Easter in la Belle France the Easter bunny ( lapin du paque) will not know where to find me. Last time  I was there for Easter he had been squashed in the road outside Chateau Didi in his attempt to find me!!!!!!

Suns up over Tykes Towers

Yes the sun is actually showing its face this morning, as LT Towers II returns to its 'cricket season' name of  'Tykes Towers'. I was going to crack a bottle of champagne over the door but ,

1. It would be a waste

2. It would be a waste.

3. It would be a flipping waste!!!

So hopefully today  there will be no rain.

Yes rain thwarted Durham's first day of cricket at the Riverside Ground ( yes I know it has another name, but it is way too pretentious!).

The boys had got their kit on and were raring to go.......................................home. Rain washed them out. However it didn't manage to wash away the ink on the new contract that was signed by Graham Onions which  commits him to the club until 2017.. Fingers crossed that they get a little play today.


Another cricketer who has been  signing a new contract ( late in the day me thinks)  was little Joey Root who has committed to Yorkshire until 2016. Wooohooo that is super flippping good news for all Tykes fans


The rain also washed out other counties yesterday as former besty county in the south Hampshire had day two wiped out. Surrey's match against  Glamorgan was hit by rain as was Sussex V Middlesex. Well let it all come down this early in the season I say. Although I suspect that anyone sitting on a damp seat yesterday at any of the grounds would disagree.

The Yorkshire boys have travelled down to Northamptonshire this week for a little 'friendly' game. What I say is beat the  blighters and be done with it!! OK not very sportsmanlike, but all fair in love and cricket!

Yorkshire unveiled their new 'kit' yesterday, they are going to be playing in purple ( it will match his Royal Ryanness's undies, if you are perplexed by this best go back to blog of about this time last year!), for T20 and one day cup matches. I likey it very much!!!!!!


So its a busy day for I, Lady Lainey today and I have to sign off now as I am busy busy busy.

However if you are wondering where the picture above was taken, it is in St Gilles Croix de Vie in La Belle France. AND it is not a cemetery for President de Gualle's dog. ( oh dear you had to be there to truly appreciate that one!!!!!!!)

Until tomorrow
a tout a l'heure

New week and cricket!!!!

Well it is the start of the working week and it is also really the start of the County season ( although some started yesterday confused?????? yep me too).  However I for one am super flipping excited and can hardly contain myself, yes this early in the morning I am bouncing around like a super bouncy thing!!! It truly is a sight to behold, orange curls all over the place.

And they were the same yesterday as I was cheering on Sri Lanka in the WT20 final. They won by six wickets and were ecstatic to say the least. They are currently coached by former Yorkshire 2nd XI coach Paul Farbrace who took over earlier this year. This is a resounding success for both Paul and the team who have now put a run of four defeats in global finals behind them, jolly well done I say.!!!

Former besty county in the south,Hampshire started their race to promotion yesterday at Southampton, however constant drizzle meant that play ws delayed and intermittent as those Hants boys were worried that their hair may go flat or worse still FRIZZY!!! ( OK thats a fib!!!). When play took place the run for promotion looked like a run for the warmest seat in the Pavillion as Michael Carberry , YES! Michael Carberry was out for a duck! They were 37-3 at the end of the 8.5 overs of play possible due to the weather.

Dale Benkenstein who has been snapped up as coach at South Durham Hampshire said that they would have preferred to bowl in those conditions. 'NON MERDE!' I think that they need a quick pep talk from I Lady Lainey!!!! First day of the county season and Carbs out for a duck!!!! What the 'Donald Duck'????

Champions of the world are taking on a bunch of students so that should be a walk over! and if not, why not? Not to take anything away from the boys, I really wish them a great season and as you know I will be at as many matches as I can be, on my seat on the boundary.


My Tykes do not start their game until tomorrow when they are starting their championship push #myopiniononly.

So what else?

Well I got more done in the 'office' yesterday but was slightly 'waylaid' by cricket and putting 'stuff' on eBay. However, hopefully this will mean that lots of money rolls into the French bank account account of moi and that I can retire to The Champagne region very soon.

Meanwhile back in the real world!!! Its time to head off to super swanky Lady Lainey office and all the joy that this holds on a Monday morning,

Super busy Sunday

Well Saturday was super busy here at LT Towers II, I, Lady Lainey was stripping......again......it is becoming a weekend habit!!! Anyhoooo, I managed to strip the walls in the 'office' and it is now a lovely shade of 'off white' which is called 'Contemporary' and looks a a lot chuffing better than the deep blue with silver stars that my former tenants left me with!!!!!

Today I am going to rejig the office and get it into some kind of order so that I can write my blog in the mornings in a calm and peaceful atmosphere! And then I am having a super blitz and putting loads more 'stuff' on eBay as I have managed to clear out loads over the last few weeks. It flipping brilliant, I can nearly see the carpet in the spare bedroom.


So today is WT20 finals day and I will be watching ( I hope but as I have been up since 3.30am I may actually be napping!!) whilst I am 'rejigging' the office. India are facing Sri Lanka, and I will be cheering on the Sri Lankan side.

Tomorrow sees champions of the world and former besty home county of Durham take on  Durham MCCU. To be honest if they can't beat a load of students............................ only kidding. I used to love to go to 'The Parks' to see Durham play Oxford Uni. Now that was always flipping freezing cold. And no where to go for warmth.

Devastating news from Derbyshire, as it was released yesterday that their wicket keeper Tom Poynton had been involved in a car accident, he is in hospital but sadly his father died in the accident. Derbyshire have postponed their match which was due to start today against Leicestershire. Thoughts are with the Poynton family at this terribly sad time.

The new Yorkshire cricket kits will be unveiled tomorrow at 7am, so I may be able to bring you that breaking news before I head off to super swanky Lady Lainey office, I know that you will hardly be able to contain yourselves.


So in football yesterday

The Mighty Whites lost to Wigan  1-0


Birmingham won against Doncaster 3-1

The Blades drew with Leyton Orient 1-1

Birmingham are just above the relegation zone at the moment with Leeds surprisingly ahead of them!!

The Blades are mid table which is neither good not bad. looks like they will be staying in Division 1 for another season.

Well time to get cracking here at the Towers, ( which will be reverting to its 'cricket' name this week).

So I wish you all a relaxing Sunday, which is something that I will not be having!!

Lady Laineys expert analysis

So its ‘smiley Saturday’ (hopefully if the phone rings) and it is also nearly the start ‘proper’ of the cricket season.

So what does this season hold for my teams?

Well super besty home team of Yorkshire are gearing themselves for another cracking season .

After Gillespie the Gallant took control of the Tykes two seasons ago, they have gone from strength to strength. Following promotion at the end of the 2012 season and seeing them make T20 finals day. 2013 saw my beloved Tykes pipped at the post as County Champions, but it also saw his Royal Ryanness commit to another season ( in hope of bagging 700 wickets?) which made I, Lady Lainey give a big sigh of relief.

Worryingly pour moi though, their were rumours earlier this year that Gillespie the Gallant might jump ship and take on the England team. WHAT!!!!! Well it was all a fib, no way was he leaving my beloved Tykes!!!! He is sticking with Yorkshire and who can blame him. They are a first class winning team.

I can honest say that I am pleased to see Liam Plunkett doing well as a Tyke. He seems to have really pulled his socks up and shown a real return to form. I see this change as a result of the positive coaching he has at Yorkshire.

I am proud to be a tiara wearing  Lady of Yorkshire!!! #coyt

'The Boss!'

'The Boy'

Champions of the world and former besty home county of Durham, may have won the county championship last season but will they manage to do it again  this year? 

After hanging onto back room deadwood AGAIN  there has been  little change within the squad, after they cleared out a load of them last season ( not the right ones in my opinion!).

 Bowlers who shone for the club last season were Onions,70 wickets and Rushworth 54. Hopefully the pressure on them is not too great this season.

Stokes who was the great hope of England until his temper got the better of him, is featuring large in all reports. Lets hope he manages to refrain from any more 'hissy fits'.

Will they be champions this season???? I am going out on a limb and saying no.

'The Teetotaller'

Former besty county in the South, newly named ‘South Durham’ aka Hampshire, look as if they may fair well this season, having acquired half the Durham team ( slight exaggeration) and having the lovely Michael Carberry ( eye candy for the Dame).

I see them doing jolly well this season. I, Lady Lainey was a great supporter of Hampshire in the days when I lived in the South of Blighty. I was always well looked after at Northlands Road and The United Services Ground at Portsmouth.

Although this team are far removed from the ‘boys’ that I used to watch then, I am expecting them to make  make a huge impression this year. #promotion

Now that would make next season extra exciting!

'Now'

'Then'

And of course the start of the season sees me getting my ‘box brownie’ out, and polishing the lens in great readiness for continuing to do ‘research’ for my yet  unpublished book ‘Cricketers Posteriors’.

I am really looking forward to that.

So finally my predictions for the season

Yorkshire, County Champions

Hampshire Division 2 Champions

See it really is a 'smiley Saturday'

YEAY!!!! IT's F(ryan)day ( at last)

Yes it is F(ryan)day and I can only say thank goodness. I was so tired with all the early starts this week that I was in bed by 9pm last night and the flipping blackbirds were still chirping then ( like they are now). However I was so tired  went straight to sleep and woke up at 5.30am!!

However lots going on in cricket land. In the WT20 Sri Lanka made it through to the finals ( great coaching from Paul Farbrace).  after a thunderstorm helped them win against the champions The West Indies. They were subjected to all manner of precipitation including massive hail stones.

Yorkshire drew there match with Leeds/Bradford yesterday as the weather took a turn for the worst!!!! His Royal Ryanness got a chance to bat.

Over in the CPL, KP was 'snapped' up by St Lucia to play this summer. However Simon Jones was once again knocked back in his attempts to be a 'T20 Mercenary'. Sadly it looks like his decision to leave Glamorgon ( or vice versa as it was in the end) has not yielded the financial prize that Jones expected. Shame really as he is eye candy for the ladies.


Congratulations to Alistair Cook who became a daddy yesterday. Quite early yesterday morning actually.  So sleepless nights just in time for the cricket season.

Champions of the World have given Mark Stoneman the one day and T20 Blast captaincy with Paul Collingwood retaining Captaincy of the County Championship team, even though he is still involved in the national side. Too many irons in the fire???? Well the season will tell, but I guess no one wanted to tell him that he wasn't Captain!!!


Well lots to do and not lots of time to do it in.  I have a super busy weekend ahead which should include 'Smiley Saturday'. I am going to get lots work done ( again) I now have super giant bag of things for the charity shop and I also have lots of stripping/wallpapering to do.
Do you think that I can do it? of course I can. Maybe not in the allotted time but hey when have I ever.


So off for last day of the week in super swanky Lady Lainey office, today with a full compliment of 'boys'. Pony Paul went to London yesterday and then phoned me to direct him from Cockfosters to Finchley!!! Good job I knew the way!!! #shouldhavebeenalondoncabbie  #mighttaketheknowledge

It's Thursday

Just in case you didn't know! And I am this morning taking the bull by the horns, today I am not eating chocolate :-(, or crisps :-( or bacon butties :'-(. I am instead having super healthy food for one day  and then hopefully this will carry on ( I am taking each day as it comes). I am also not having any alcohol......................................oh yes that is the truth I am going dry for the next two weeks and possibly three! What the flip is going on I hear you all cry. Where will the hangover reports come from, where will the super short blogs be. well I have come to a huge decision and I ain't getting any younger or slimmer so something has to give, and the zips in my jeans are on the way to giving I can tell you. so in a bid to return to super svelte figure of by gone days I am doing what needs to be done ( chopping my head off would help me shed two stone of ugly fat,but......)

So what else has been happening?

Well The wonderful Michael Carberry ( eye candy for Dame Didi and Lady Lainey) has been speaking his mind, about his omission from the one day series ( and to be honest, he couldn't have made it any worse!). However Hampshire Chairman Rob Bransgrove thinks that Carberry may have now scuttled his chances of being selected again. Well hell, having seen the bunch that have just 'played' in the WT20 I can honestly say that my Auntie Betty is in with a chance of selection and she is 84 and has a dicky ticker!!! So as for Carbs spoiling his chances.....well I think not but we will have to see what the stuffed shirts think.

OH joy!!!!!!!!!!! KP was playing for Surrey, however make the most of it as he will be off to the IPL soon and then to the CPL. So catch him at Surrey now!!!!!

Yorkshire were still battering the University yesterday. Gary Ballance hitting his first (of many?) century of the season. His Royal Ryanness was in the pavilion with his feet up watching 'Bargain Hunt'.( probably not!)

I was again up with the blackbirds this morning and watched someone steal a car! So I called the police and hope that they catch the little b*****ds.

Now I am off to have my super boost of vitamin C to get me through until 10 o'clocks, when I will be on the strawberry's and natural yogurt with golden linseed ( not just for cricket bats!).

Also tonight I have to 'pop' to Homebase to buy some lining paper ready for 'doing' the 'office' at home this weekend,

I am soooooo busy, but at least all the jobs are getting done!!!!

4am start!!!

So this morning I woke up at 4am and guess what???? the flipping blackbirds were still asleep So I ended up lying awake waiting for them to wake up and start singing!! Its going to be another long day today!!!!

I have already cleaned out the fridge, washed the kitchen floor and sorted out some more 'stuff' to be binned from the 'office'. And now I am trying to get this written so that I can head off to super swanky Lady Lainey office . Today Job the Jolly and Trill Boy are back from their jaunt to Birmingham, so the peace that reigned yesterday will be shattered today as Trill Boy will be back in full 'shouty' mode.

Now  we all know that the KP saga will not die down, but Alistair Cook made a statement regarding the South Africans departure, he said it took a lot of  'guts' to end the batsmans international career. And that the England dressing room will be a stronger place without him. He went onto talk about team unity, which makes I Lady Lainey think that I was right all along. KP was for himself, and no one else.

So my Tykes went into battle against Leed/ Bradford Uni yesterday in season opening match. And his Royal Ryanness  only took the first blinking wicket! OMG, I was so super excited!!! I am seriously hoping that the 700th wicket falls this season for him. Great challenge for him too.

Durham were still in Kent playing back to back T20 matches which they won. There was little Twitter feed on these matches so I cannot really report on them.

However what I can say is that Ashley Giles has a 'new best friend and supporter' in Steve Harmison. Who has spouted forth that Giles is the man for the England job. Well to be honest I am taking no notice of this little nugget of information. After all who would listen to Harmison, he said he played for Durham!!!!???? Not in the last three seasons to my memory.................................. OK  about to go off on a rant there so just taking a deep breath.


The West Indies beat Pakistan to get through to the semi finals in the WT20's. The current champions won by 84 runs. They hammered 82 runs off the last 5 overs. I wish that I had seen that!!!

Jonathan Trott made his comeback innings  yesterday  and the press are all over it saying that he only scored 4! Hell thats nearly the total of the England  T20 team,so shut up!!!! Did they think that he was going to come out and score a century. Leave Trott to find his feet and get back into the game.......................oh oh off again and its so early in the morning!!!!

Well I guess that I should  close now before I get started on a real full on rant about...............well anything really.

So off to shout at boys, twirl my curls and look pretty for 7 hours.

Flipping dawn chorus!!!!

OK the clocks went forward at the weekend and it is summer(time) but for the love of dog! will someone tell the flipping blackbirds!!! 3.15am this morning they were singing their little hearts out and I was tearing my orange curls out. it was still night outside!!! In the end I got up and commenced battle with the boot room blind ( which the blind won again, but it has yet to win the war!).

So apart from super singing blackbirds, what else has been occurring...............................

Ah well, England played a game of cricket yesterday against The Netherlands, you know the team all out for 39 last week then nearly scuttled South Africa. Well it was a battle of the Oranges as England were wearing orange shirts too, ( everyone should have something orange.......................apart from fake tan). Well short story long, The Dutch went into bat and hit 133-5 in their innings with only Myburgh and Baressi and Swart making double figures. But still a great knock from the team. Broad took 3 wickets which means that he will now be out for most of the domestic cricket season as he will be 'crocked'.
England went into bat and were so desperate that they got 'Jordan' into bat, I'm surprised she can run with those 'puppies'!! OK joking aside ( as it is seriously no joke). The opening batsmen made less than 20 runs and it continued this way until they were all out for 88 in 17.4 overs!. Shocking? Not really its just what we have come to expect. I have had to pad this out too, as it the highlights will have run for 5 minutes and it will have been all Dutch.

A sorry state of affairs and Ashley Giles ( maybe it is rhyming slang after all) is still sure that he is the man for the job. Chuffing heck, I think that I really should apply because I will probably have a better success rate. How can he think that he is good for the job when we cannot even get to the semis in  the T20's.

Sri Lanka made it through to the semis, so jolly well done to them and their coach Paul Farbrace, former 2nd XI coach at Yorkshire ( see they get everywhere).

My Tykes start their season today with a University match at Headingley.  #COYT

Today it is just Pony Paul and I in the office as Job the Jolly and Trill Boy are off the Birmingham, to look at super new build that we have going on.I am hoping that Pony is over his 'Manorexia' and that we will be having a sausage, bacon and egg roll with a latte for brekkie ( the diet has gone right out the window and I am preparing myself to be a fatty for the summer! and probably get harpooned on the beach,) I will be doing circuits tonight so that might help a bit! ( need a lot of flipping circuits to get rid of this lard a**e)

Oh well guess I had better get my lard a**e into gear and get moving towards super swanky Lady Lainey office ( actually need to wash the orange birdsnest curls first).

So until tomorrow.