It's all 'slushy' outside!!

Yukky!!!! I looked out of the window this morning and there had been some watery snow ( sleet) over night meaning that it is now super slushy outside. I bet you can guess from the picture the footwear 'de jour', well it won't be the little suede ones that's for sure!!!

However before I set foot, or bottom as I did yesterday............. yes I went to get the Lady Lainey limo out of the garage and quicker than I can neck a bottle of champagne, I was on my bottom at the end of the drive. No graceful skating down  a la Torvill and Dean pour moi. No graceful getting up either, Bambi had nothing on me!!! I eventually got to my feet after giving the neighbours more entertainment than they are entitled to. Big bruise on my ample rear luckily no damage to former chipped elbow or former fractured coccyx and pelvis ( yes I am a walking medical marvel).

Zut alors I am off on a trip down Lainey medical memory lane and so early on a Saturday morning!!!

It is now snowing again and I have decided that there is not a pig in a wigs chance of me having a walk to Lady laineyville shops, even though I have a huge amount of 'stuff' to take to the charity shop, I will give it an hour and then make a decision.

So back to more interesting 'stuff', after England took the upper hand yesterday by bowling India out for 201 they went into bat and suffered a slight 'malfunction' when they were 66-5!!! 'Oh dear' I thought as I shuffled uncomfortably in my office chair ( it was the sore bottom not the cricket that made me shuffle around). Luckily a sixth wicket stand by James Taylor (82) and Josh Butler (67) brought England back. they will now play Australia in the final tomorrow.

My Tykes announced yesterday that their 2nd XI coach Richard Dawson was leaving the county to take up the role of  Head coach at Gloucestershire. sad loss for Yorshire where Richard had played the majority of his 12 year career, but a great scoop for Gloucestershire.

Taking about my Tykes, His Royal Ryanness was on Question of Sport last night and was looking very relaxed  and with slighty shorter hair, well if you think I am having my curls lopped off to look more like you........nope not doing it!!!!!

I am just about back to 20/20 vision after the pictures of the yorky boys in their 'skimpies'.  I am hoping that Rich Pyrah will be appearing in more usual attire in this his benefit year!

And now without further ado I need to get on with things here at the château as I have a very busy weekend ahead of me.

have a super slushy/snowy Saturday.

Freezing F(ryan)day!!!

and I hope that he has more clothes on today than yesterday, actually I am hoping that SOME of the Yorkshire boys have clothes on today FULLSTOP. I will never been able to look at Rich Pyrah in the same way!!!!

To say that I am pleased that  Mr Willey doesn't play for Yorkshire is an understatement!!!! (  sorry LJ,plagiarism !!!!)

And where was coach???????

if you are wondering why they are all so scantily attired ( and some nearly nudey!!) it was to raise awareness for cancer most especially testicular cancer. well done boys.

At 5 am when  t'wireless went on England were not doing too well as India were 80-1 however in the past hour they have pulled out all the stops and the score is 160-6. Finn and Moeen having taken two wickets each with Broad and Woakes taking the others.
my theory on Finn being crocked very soon is gathering momentum and I do not see him being fit for the world cup #mythoughtsentirely.

So after mammoth amounts of snow on Wednesday evening it continued yesterday meaning that all plans carefully put into place were abandoned at the last minute,


Quick update 6.37 am  India are 165-9. Now does thins mean that England will be chasing a low score? Well they might be but whether they beat it is another matter!!!


OK back to the nonsense.

Today Trill Boy is off due to having to attend a funeral. which is very sad for the Trill boy family but flipping brilliant for us. A whole day without wind being passed to be scored out of 10, singing the wrong words to songs, and generally being a pest!!!

Maybe Bournemouth Uni, Birmingham Dental Hospital, St Helens Place and the Royal college of Arts will finally get there buildings completed ( in the drawing sense!)

Ahh well time to head off down the A1 to the Lady lainey workville....................but just one more sneaky peak at the Yorkshire picture before I go.................well it was for charity!!!!.

AND WE HAVE SNOW....QUITE A LOT ACTUALLY

yes indeedy doody, the scene from the second bedroom window this morning is not one that I really wanted to wake up to. The flipping Deer Park is completely white.

It started snowing as I was off to besty friend Frans for an Indian head Massage ( very nice and I will be having that again!). When I came out 2 hours later there was a blanket of snow and it took me nearly 40 minutes to get from one end of the town to the other.

I also got lots of doggy loves form Orson ( Awesome), Mia and lucky who took such a shine to my coat that I was struggling to get it back to come home. they were so excited to see me that they brought their toys to the door. The battered white teddy, the animal of unknown origin and the one armed Rupert Bear!!!!! luckily the teddy with its pants round it's knees has long gone!

After the thrilling news from my Tykes yesterday , it was all going off in cricket world , as Perth Scorchers beat Sydney Sixers in a thrilling match ( which I have yet to see but is recorded for the weekend). top team with top boy Michael Carberry.

Ireland also had a boost when they found out that they will be in the top 10 ranking system for the 2019 World cup. this is great news for the men in green and puts Ireland in the big league ( well nearly).

Nottinghamshire have suffered a blow before the season even starts as  opener Jack Libby has injured a knee ligament ( silly sausage) playing club cricket,meaning he will be out until the end of June!!! He will then be fighting for his fitness and a first team place!.

The wind is howling out side and the sky is so grey that I fear more snow will be on it's way.

So I am off to don my hunters, and my thermals and dig the Lady Lainey limo out of the garage, just like the old days when His Royal Gorgeousness would get us up at stupid o' clock to make sure that he could get in the car and go to work.

So if you are heading out in it today, drive carefully.

Oh yes and I am having a flying visit early evening ( weather permitting) so best go and run the hoover over. My neighbours must love me!!!!!

Wet and wild Wednesday

Whoop di flipping dooooooo, after yesterdays revelation that Adam Lyth is staying with my Tykes for another three years, this morning I was ready ( well apart from not having any  slap on) and waiting for 6 am when Yorkshire announced two new signings!!!!!well they announced it at about 5.54am BUT I was waiting!!!


Well who is it!!!!!!??????

It's none other

AARON FINCH  & GLENN MAXWELL



Wahhhhhhhaayyyyyyyy how excited am I?????, I am fair spinning round in my  chair, faster than Linda Blairs head in 'The Exorcist'.

Ok got to stop that now, my head is  all spinny and regurgitated Shredded wheat on the carpet is not a good idea ( never mind the fact that I will have to clean it up myself!).

I am jolly super excited to say the least

It may be wet outside but it's wild here in Chateau de Champions!!!!

#COYT

#WAYAW

Cannot wait now for my Headingley tour on 8th February!!!!!  I am thinking that I might try to get squatters rights in the Yorkshire dressing room.


So what else has been happening in the crazy world of cricket?????


to be honest WHO CARES!!!!! Yorkshire have done good.

However the world of Twitter was enlightened to the world of the minimum wage by a cricketer. Wish I was  £1 behind him.

However that aside today is too good to moan and whinge, because 'we' have two new signings!!!

Oh yes It's finals day in the BBL too, I am recording it and will watch at the weekend when I have way too much time on my hands!!

So without further ado, I am off to Super Swanky Lady Lainey office to bask in thoughts of the up coming season


COME ON YOU TYKES!!!!!!!

It's Tuesday and it's 'warm'

yes it is warm, I know this because as I stuck my toe out from under the 'feather and down' it did not instantly turn blue and form icicles on it and then fall off, instead it stayed a shade of pink tinged with blue, which meant only one thing..................it is warm!!!

I jumped ( read that as crawled ) out of bed and headed for the shower and I am now super warm and feeling more awake.

Yesterday I woke up with AGH ( amazingly gorgeous hair) one of those strange things that happen when you go to be with wet hair ( flip side is you can wake up looking very scary). I was super chuffed and headed off to super swanky Lady Lainey office, where boys had not bought milk, nor text me to get me to buy some  on the way. I headed 'up' Skinnergate in Lady Lainey workville. OMG...windtunnel, I returned to the office looking like a scarecrow and my AGH ruined!!!!

Oh well enough of my woes. Australia were having woes themselves as their match against India in the tri series was a wash out, only 16 overs were possible before rain halted the rest of play.
England now face India in the decider.

Woohooo super brilliant news from Tykeshire as it is announced that Adam Lyth ( he of no hair and hideous laugh but super batsman) has signed a new three year contract with the besty county on the whole flipping world.
Now just waiting for His Royal Ryanness to do the same and I am a happy bunny.

It is getting closer to the season and I am hoping that the weather improves dramatically so that we can enjoy days basking in the sun and stuffing our faces with the carefully prepared 'cricnic'.

However word from the weather department is that we will be getting a ton of snow this week!!!!

yes snow!!!.....again!!!!!....what the chuffing heck is going on!!!! Do they not know that it is the christening of the year this week. Do that not know that 3 million people are turning out for the christening of the year!!!

Well thats my Jimmy Choos put away for a while longer.

So with that 'wonderful' news I bid you all farewell for today and hurtle off to the 'orifice'.
And to think I woke up this morning thinking it was F(ryan)day!!!!! No such luck!!!!

Welcome to a new working week!

welcome to Monday, it is warmer here than of late ( probably about -5) however it is the start of a new week and I will be waiting to see if this week sends me to the south of blighty to do a spot of work.
today is the day when I get my new l'ordinator  and I am jolly excited about that! so next weekend will see me writing my blog from the warmth of my bed!

Yesterday involved lots of eating and watching of cricket. yes I was watching BBL, and the Scorchers knocking out 'Big Pete's' team to go through to the semi finals on Wednesday. The lovely Michael Carberry  was 'mic'd' up and giving his on the field view of the game. He was fielding into the sun and was struggling at times, however his team are through and that's all that matters. sadly all the hype regarding 'he who must not be named in the blog,' came to nothing as Melbourne Stars were knocked out.

He has however been mouthing off about the need for change in the English T20 competition. For the love of dogs!!!!! shut up and go and see about change in your home country.

Wooohooo off on a rant and it is only Monday!!!!!


I then continued eating whilst watching South Africa v West Indies. Chris Gayle didn't last long!!!

Australia are at this moment taking on India.

lots of work and bird watching was done at the chateau  too yesterday.
My robin was in the garden having a right old gut bash, as were my black birds. Then a couple of magpies decided to crash the party. once the coast was clear I refilled the food and the robin came back, along with a blue tit. not a huge amount of birds I grant you but it was an entertaining hour watching them do their 'thing'.

well almost time to head off to Super Swanky Lady Lainey office, yes fun and games in the office as we freeze our what nots off, I am fed copious amounts of coffee intravenously, and get back to shouting at boys ( a lot). it's good when things settle back into the normal routine.

A note for anyone with doggies reading this in Newton Aycliffe, reports from the vets, is that a white transit van is trawling the town and stealing dogs. Be careful when you are out walking your pooches.

See you all tomorrow.

Wakey wakey!!!!

So after doing all the mundane stuff yesterday I went back to bed and slept!!! Yes I slept until after 1pm!!!! Unheard of in the Chateau, but I must have needed it.

The sun shone brightly yesterday lulling everyone here in the North of blighty into a false sense of security. it was however flipping freezing and a good excuse to do nothing!

today is windy so I am hoping to get some of the mounds of washing on the line and dried. This would be a top result.

I watched some of the BBL mainly to see Gillespie the Gallant commentating. The cricket was ok but I was concentrating so much on it that I kept losing my train of thought where my knitting was concerned.  I am currently knitting a super throw for the sitting room.

I didn't do my hour of bird watching yesterday so I am going to do it today.
there are a few magpies that are around but they are usually in the deer park and rarely venture into the extensive rear grounds of the chateau. They do make a heck of a flipping noise though!!!

England Lions are in action today and it starts at 8am (in about 15 mins).

No cricket for England in Australia until 30th January when they take on India in Perth ( I wonder if Auntie molly has a ticket?).

things are gearing up for a The Big christening next weekend, this sounds a if it is going to be a huge day and really the baby will not get a look in as everything seems to be revolving around the 'party' afterwards.My thoughts are why did they just not have a party on a Saturday evening and then take the baby to church the next day. They seem to have their wires crossed somewhere.

well time to get a wriggle on

I know it is short today but I have lots to do.

Until tomorrow, when it is the start of the working week!!!

IT'S THE WEEKEND!!!!!!

Yeay it is the weekend and flipping freezing it is too, however I have done the washing ( last night) and I am now getting prepared  to do my hours bird watch in my garden for the RSPB.

I have already spotted a robin and a blue tit and blackbirds as well as the pair of pigeons who as Dame Didi will verify like nothing better than to 'make whoopie' on the garden fence.

I have been leaving out extra food all week in the hope of spotting some extra birds.

I am not sure if I am doing it today or tomorrow, whichever way I will be recording my results and posting them back on Monday.

I have purchased a new l'ordinator which I will get on Monday, this means that I will now be able to do my blog from the comfort of my bed at weekends. Read this as being  extra specially lazy!!

So yesterday I reported that England had set Australia a good target to chase in the Tri series match.

well it was good.............................but it was not good enough, however the match was thrilling to say the least as Australia beat us with 1 ball to spare.

I think this may have silenced all the 'England are going to win the world cup' Twitteratti.

Australia's captain Steve Smith hit a century and  led the team to a brilliantly composed win.

Englands 'man with no lips' became the highest scorer in an ODI over taking Paul Colleywobble.

I have peeped out of the curtains and the sun is shining, lulling me into a false sense of security, yes it is making me think that it is a warm day, however my toes are telling something completely different.

So I am off  to hop back into bed for an hour and will return tomorrow................

.............if my extremities haven't fallen off in the mean time.

Keep warm!!

Thank goodness it's F(ryan)day

And so it is nearly the weekend. Just a few more hours of freezing in Super swanky Lady lainey office and then it is here!

Yes I am going to be living it up and partying like it's '1999'..................................... well I think we all know how the weekend will really go. Lying around on the chaise longue and drinking 'grape juice' as well as knitting and waiting for the dishwasher to finish so that the highlight of my weekend will be emptying it!

oh the life of a 'lady'. Who would have it!!!

So at the moment it looks as if the first 'expo a go go' will be at Lords which should be a jolly old day out. The others are still in the decision making stage but it looks as if we are moving forward with the business at a rate of knots!

And talking about a fast rate that is what is happening at the moment as England take on Australia in the tri series ( they will give it a 'tri'?). the man with no lips set off at a storming pace and made 141 before being bowled out. Little Joey Root put on 69 and England are currently 303-6.

A plot to black mail Eoin Morgan has taken place in Australia. All to do with a  relationship he had five years ago whilst down under ( make of that what you will).

The blackmailer is said to be the current partner of the lady and has cited jealousy as his motive.

I have managed to have cheese scones only once this week and think that I may be  managing my change of addiction from chocolate to cheese scones quite well. The other thing is that  weight is just dropping off me, which scares me to think how much of my diet contained chocolate!

Temperatures here in the north east of blighty dropped to -150 last night............... yes OK that is a slight exaggeration but it flipping well felt like it. As I now have Trill Boys cold, I know it was blinking cold as I woke up with an icicle on my nose, and yes I know that is too much information, and not the best way for a Lady to wake up.

I had a very strange dream, Dame Didi and I were having lunch at Smoke barbecue in Sheffield ( which was GORGEOUS!!!), sitting at the table next to us was Albert Einstein!!! And he was talking about cricket and how he was a Yorkshire supporter!!!

What that means I have no idea, but if true then the  man did not only have brains but good taste too!!!

Oh well off to the A1 for me.

happy F(ryan)day.

nearly there

Yes we are nearly there.

But where? I hear you all  saying.

well we are nearly at the weekend and it cannot come soon enough! I am ready for a lie in and to lie around being lazy whilst the washing machine and the dishwasher do their thing.
i will however have some jobs to do and i am starting tonight!

the England Lions will be looking forward to the weekend after drawing their match in South Africa. James Vince hit an unbeaten  152. The Hampshire man was looking good.
The Yorkshire boys batted and bowled well, and showed why Yorkshire are the champions of the world!!!

South Africa clinched a win over The West Indies taking a 3-0 score in the ODI series. two more matches to play and will it be a whitewash!!???

The snow has cleared here at the chateau and the garden looks a very sorry state. I am thinking that some clearing and 'stuff' may need to be gotten on with this weekend.

I am actually going to work n shoes today and not boots!

Well that may be interesting should it decide to freeze!

so before I sign off, here are some

On this day

1960 Michael Hutchence was born

1980 West Indies beat England in The 1st  World Series cup

1988 1st class debut of Brian Lara

1988 1st class debut of Hansie Cronje

2008 Heath Ledger died
and with that I am off out of the door!!

Oh no more snow

So today it is the mid week
And we once again have snow
I am super freezing cold
Here in the Chateau.
.

In warmer climes of hemisphere south
England did have a win
You'd have thought the'd won the Ashes
As all journos made so much din.


Steve Finn, with his bowling scores
has been hailed a hero
Lets hope it continues
Or he will drop to a zero


An 'EPL' T20 system
Has been backed by Hants
It needs plenty of great players
Or else it will be 'pants'

In Lady Lainey workplace
The day was quite sedate
No doubt all will change today
As 'Jobbers' will probably be late.


So time to don the Hunters
And trudge out for the car
the thought of climbing under the duvet
Is too tempting to me by far

So wrap up warm,
And drive with care
See you tomorrow
When I will have more to share

it's flipping freezing here

Flipping heck,the Canadian man on't wireless told me this morning that it is -5 outside and temperatures are not going to get above 0 today, that means that the temperature in Super swanky Lady Lainey office will be about -10 today. That will not even creep to -5 no matter how many heaters we have going full blast!!!

So its , a hat, thermal and boots day for moi!

It was a busy day yesterday for all thing 'Inspired cricket' as we sorted out a place at a big cricket expo. Yes Lady Lainey will be 'expo a go go' in a few weeks and it is going to be some hard graft until then.
Good start to the year though.

England have made a good start in the match against India with Finn taking 5-33 ( that's him out of the running for the World cup now he will be knackered) and James Anderson taking  4-18. England are now chasing 154.
They are currently 31-1.
Hmmm anything could happen in the next 30 minutes. lets hope it's not a complete collapse.

I am booked to go on a tour of Headingley in February and I am super excited. I asked Mr Funky the chauffeur if he wanted to go but he said no, oh well you can't please all the people all the time. I think he is going to be hacking chunks of grass out of the ground. (otherwise known as golf). Oh well as I Lady Lainey swan round the stadium  I hope that 'Arnold Palmer isn't stuck in a bunker.

No chance of me being stuck in a bunker this morning, more chance of me hurtling down the drive on the ice faster than 'Tomba la Bomba' ( google it if you don't know who he is). I am hunting for my 'grippy things' to put on my boots as I type!!

As crickety news is slow today ( due to England still playing) and office boys have become reasonably well behaved, I will  give you a quick list of

On this day

1947 Malcolm McLaren was born ( me and my hair do a great impersonation of him)


1952 Paul Stanley guitarist with Kiss was born.

1992 Australia beat India to win the world series Cup

1996 Australia beat Sri Lanka to win the World series cup

And in America today is the day that any new President is inaugurated.

OK enough of the trivia, I am off for to be even more 'shivier!'

New week, new me!

So the new week has started and we have snow, I also am now fully recovered from my mad saturday evening and Sunday morning. I actually did quite a lot when I got home yesterday, most of which involved putting food out for the birds ready for next weekends 'Bird watch' and then did a lot of cooking, before retiring to my bed.


I also watch some cricket.......................well this was not just SOME cricket it was record breaking cricket.AB deVilliers showing his skill by scoring the fastest ODI century. He hit 100 off 31 balls!!! and then kept going, scoring 149, against The West Indies in Jo/burg. Honestly you would not have wanted to be bowling to him yesterday.
South Africa then went onto score  439-2 which was just 4 runs short of the highest ever ODI innings score  which was set by Sri Lanka against the Netherlands in 2006.

So after all that excitement I went to have a nap to recuperate from the excesses of the night before.

More snow arrived late afternoon and is still here this morning, I can see this being a flipping freezing day in the office so must dress accordingly.

Tonight is the first night of 'fitness week' and I am ready for it. weights are on  the menu tonight ( and salmon for when it is all over). I think this will be a long week in the 'get fit' stakes. It's to be hoped that my plans aren't scuppered by being sent South!. I am hoping that the weather helps me stay at home another week.

lots going on with cricket job which is super exciting and going to be very busy end of Jan into Feb with lots of 'cricket expo's'. Better get my cricket lingo brushed up on!!

Well I am keeping this short as I am about to venture out to Super swanky Lady Lainey office. I hope I make it to the garage safely, rather than sliding along on my backside before crashing into the garden gate!

Keep warm where ever you are,!

where am I?

Oh my dog!!! I woke up about 10 minutes ago to the most hideous snoring in my ear. I opened my eyes and had no idea where I was.

This was some fancy boudoir but it wasn't MY  fancy boudoir!!!.
Then I realised I was paralyzed!!!!
Yes indeed legs completely not working and no feeling in them!!!.

So I looked for the source of the snoring and turned to find a big hairy face on the pillow next to me.

Yes I had not gone home last night butt had slept in the spare room of Countess Chritine of McNally.

I am 'paralyzed' due to having a german shepherd and a three legged lurcher sleeping on me all night. Then we have Leo the doberman snoring next to me. Head on pillow fast asleep.

And the McNallys?

Well they will have had the best doggie free sleep ever!!

So now I am in bed with a storming headache (3bottle of champers type headache)
And  debating how the flip I am going to move the dead weight dogs.

Any cricket news I hear you all ask?.

To be honest I actually have no concept of what day it is let alone if there is cricket news.

So as I try to turn over (impossible) poke Leo to stop snoring (got a dog breath kiss in return). I see me being here for the forseeable future!!!

Snow shower alert!

Yes there have been numerous snow shower  since I woke up this morning, and the assessor is  coming out to see exactly how much damage the wind did to my garage roof, I am hoping that no more comes down before then.

I am then making a quick trip to Ladylaineyville shops before coming back for a quick nap.I am off out tonight with Countess Christine of McNally, and am trying to decide which leather skirt to haul my bulk into ( choices of 3 black different styles, one brown one red. Dilemma!!). I am actually going to venture outside in something other than trousers, jeans, leggings or jeggings. That will be a first since Christmas day!.

Besty friend Francesca came round for dinner and wine last night, we are such great company that we were falling asleep before 10pm!! However home made carrot and butterbean soup with red leicester and pumpkin seed bread was gorgeous!
Hopefully tonight I make it to last orders without nodding off.

I also had a lovely invitation yesterday to go to Derby ( yes I know , it's not exactly Monte Carlo) in March. So what can a girl say...................well she said yes and is flipping well looking forward to a spot of cricket coaching on the side.

Which reminds me I need to do a spot of cricket work today before I have my nap.

And whilst bandying the 'C' word around, lets talk about England...................well they lost yesterday against Australia.

And they lost 'big styley'.
However Captain Morgan ( I likes him rum!) says it is not a setback.................................... No its just preparing us for the inevitable!!!

So that's rounded up nicely.

So now I am off to twirl my curls, put a bit of slap on and wait for the assessor.

And I am making more soup today too.
My life is soooooooooo rock-n-roll

Yeay!!!! It's F(ryan)day

It is finally F(ryan)day and it couldn't come soon enough, which means that this week I have escaped heading south for lots of work!

Probably next week!!!!

However that is all to come and tonight besty friend Francesca is heading round to the Chateau for dinner and chatter. Yes indeedy I am looking forward to that after a week with the 'office boys', whose chatter leaves a lot to be desired!

I had a spot of hypnotherapy over Christmas to try to resolve my issue with chocolate, if it was part of your '5  a day' I would be the healthiest eater in the world, sadly though it isn't and I was concerned that my love of 'choccies' was becoming a problem. as early as the next day the desire to have any chocolate was not even rearing it's head, and neither was having any other sweeties!! strange I thought, this must really work. I also have not had any chocolate cake, or cake in general. What a result....................................until I realised that I have now developed a very unhealthy obsession with cheese scones!
if you want to know my top 10 of shop bought scones email me for details!!!

I woke up to the news that England had managed to get rid of most of their top order batsmen, ( obviously trying to get back to the pavilion for cheese scones). The man with no lips went for a duck, Taylor went for a duck and only Morgan was making a stand. England are currently 202-7 (6.37am).

And talking about Morgan, he has said that he is surprised by 'he who must not be named in the blog' commenting about how the captain wanted him back in the team. Now the way I look at this is that 'Figjam' is too much in love with himself and opens his mouth before he puts his brain cell ( singular) in gear.
Yes it appears to be all fiction a little bit like the book he had published just before Xmas.

However the one thing he does know what to do, is to generate his own publicity.

Weather watch north East.
We had more wind and rain last night and it I do not think that we will be making sunbathing weather today ( or for the next few months).
so put a hat on, three pairs of thermals, two pairs of sock a pure new wool coat and waterproof mascara.
And for the girls, still make sure you have 25+ spf cream on your face!!!

Off to slap mine on now.

have a great F(ryan)day

It is Ryan's Day

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
We'll all feel as if we have winning lottery tickets
When you take 31 more wickets!!!!


It really is Ryan's day today, yes it is the birthday of his Royal Ryanness. Hopefully he is having breakfast in bed and a lie in, a day off training and lots of pressies....................

and hopefully we will get 31 ( or more) wickets this season which will take the FC haul to 700(+).

Yesterday Ryan told everyone that he would like 3 more years with Yorkshire. I think  that every Yorkshire supporter is hoping the same.

Happy Birthday Ryan have a great day what ever you are doing.

Over with the England Lions the Tykes were having a grand old time as with  Bairstow,Plunkett, Rashid and Brooks all hitting half centuries ( 63,55,78 and 53 respectively) and even Little Lythy took a wicket!
The match was drawn but it showed how strong the Yorkshire boys are.
I was wearing my white rose with pride.
Captain Trott hit a double century and once again the journo's were shouting for his recall to the national side. I am still not too sure about this, but hey what do I know?

My suitcase is still packed and in the hallway ready for my call to get on a plane and go south. having said earlier in the week that there was no way I was getting on a plane in the winds that were gusting around Blighty ( and I have travelled home from India strapped into my seat for 5 hours in the worst storms ever, so I would never repeat that!), I know that it won't be long before I am in the 'sunny' ( could be snowy) south.

All talk is centred on the up coming christening, I still find it hard to believe that what is meant to be a religious service is turning into a funfair!!! should  be worth the present! ( if I am able to attend).


Dame Didi is back at hospital today,so sending big good luck messages for her. She will be in France scoffing cheese and quaffing wine before you can say 'Jacques Robinson'.

well it is still super windy here but the snow from yesterday has disappeared, no doubt lurking in a dark corner waiting for me to finish work and then start falling.

have a great Thursday, we are closer to the weekend, and................

Happy Birthday Ryan.

and it came!

yes we had snow, just as a I was leaving work, how very bloody typical!!!! I had to call into the garage as one of my headlights had gone off and by the time I got home everywhere was white!
I also received two presents yesterday so those combined with the snow made it feel like Christmas all over again ( without the holiday and the lie in ).


firstly from my besty friends in London I got a box of goodies which included a special jar to store my Marmite jar in and a spoon. And then there were also two wonderful glass 'glasses' tree decorations.
one was like this and the other was a cocktail glass.

this Christmas could see a whole new  tree in Chateau de champions!!

 I had  not selected a gift for  my birthday from the lovely Harry and Blossom  I had been toying with buying myself some new Laguiole steak knives, this is also my preferred cutlery, BUT I spotted a beautiful paperweight  by  Svaja. Beauty over practicality!! And it is beautiful.

And so Christmas and birthday arrived again for I, Lady Lainey!.

well after all that  lets get down to business, well after the commentary on BBL yesterday being the 'Listen to me I am so great' show fronted by none other than 'Figjam'. Elsewhere others have been having a bit of a chat about him.

Steve Harmison who usually like nothing better than to talk about himself, went on record and stated that the chances of the man himself getting a place on the England team again were nil, actually he stated that he didn't stand a 'cat in hells chance'. funny I have been saying that for a while.

England are currently taking on the Prime Ministers XI and are 335-4. The man with no lips ( Ian Bell) has hit 158 and is currently not out!

Yorkshire chairman Colin Graves is to stand for  chair of England and Wales cricket board.

YORKSHIRE, YORKSHIRE,YORKSHIRE.

Well I have to get the Lady Limo out of the garage and wend a very careful route to Super swanky Lady Lainey office, so best be on my way.

If we have any more snow I will be making a snow cricketer later this evening.

They mentioned the 'S' word!!!

I think that I will stay right under the duvet this morning, it is cold, its raining and the Canadian guy on the radio told me gleefully at 5am that we would be getting some snow today. SNOW!!!!, the nemesis of I, Lady Lainey, snow the inescapable agent of my downfall, and that usually means a down fall on my very ample backside!!!
Oh please, I flipping hate snow and cannot bear cold weather either.

Bring me sunshine!!!!


I have spent the last two hours hunting out thermals and warm woolly socks and fingerless gloves ( so that I can still type in Super Swanky Lady Lainey office), as well as finding an appropriate hat which matches ( no point in looking slovenly). Oh the joy of winter!!!!

Luckily my legs have an extra overcoat on due to it being too cold to even considering having the hair  ripped out by the lovely Sonya.And believe me when I tip up to get them done it will take some industrial strength bitumen to remove the hairy layer of growth!

Actually talking about hair removal I must go in to get my eyebrows tidied up, my legs may be hairy but they are unseen, a  'monobrow' is never a good look!!!!

In cricket James Anderson has been talking about his fear of bowling after the Phil Hughes accident. he was doubting whether he could ever bowl again. he said that he did no t think that bowlers would change their they go but that most must have had doubts.

To be honest it was a freak accident and although it sent shockwaves through the cricket community ( and further) cricket has to go on. If not what would I have to babble on about!

Ireland beat Scotland in their tri series match with an unbeaten 80 b Niall O' Brien.

these warm ups are getting serious!
 And serious is what my thoughts are turning to now as I head off to the office and wait for the insurance company to ring me about the garage roof which took a bit ( a lot) of a battering in the wind that struck over the weekend

Drive safely and stay warm.
.

And it's still windy!!!

Oh my dog, it is still very very windy, in fact it is fair to say that the wind has not stopped blowing since Friday and any chance of doing jobs outside yesterday were gone with the wind!!! yes it was indeed a horrible weekend weather wise.

Now however a  new week is up on us and I have my case ready to go off to pastures new if that is what is required this week. Am I ready for it?
Well a change is as good as a rest and hopefully the hotel that I am staying in will have a bath!

In South Africa where I doubt the weather is as pants as it is here the England Lions are trying to thwart South Africa A. The current score is South Africa A 379-4. Top Tykes, Plunkett, Lyth and Bairstow have been involved in the wickets, with Boys Rankin taking one too.

come on you Tykeshire boys!

After all the hoohaa about 'The book' and 'The bullying' and the ' I am not just an ego'. Stuart Broad has come out and said that 'he who must not be named in the blog,' should not have been sacked for England and just dropped.
Now this man seem to sit on a wobblier fence than I, Lady Lainey and  to be honest I am not sure if he is making a real comment or just stirring up some media attention, which is really the last thing that England need especially when it concerns the events of last season.

let it go Stuart!!! Even though the other person can't.

The 'big' boys of England have been having a warm up match ahead of the World cup with five of the boys hitting 50'.

Keep up the good work.

And talking about work, I had better fly and this week that expression could be truer than you think!

Lazy Sunday?

Well it is still blowing a gale outside and I heard more rain hitting the windows earlier, so I suspect that it is going to be a home and lazy type of day today. Although saying that the bedding is already stripped and in the washing machine!

Yesterday I realised that one week back in Super Swanky Lady Lainey office had taken its toll already and I am loaded with cold and feeling pretty rough. Sooner I head off 'darn sarf' the better.

Ireland managed a three wicket win over Afghanistan in the Tri series warm up in Dubai, which will have boosted moral after being pummelled the other day.

Meanwhile ' he who must not be named in the blog' has been mouthing off about taking on England next week when they play  Prime Ministers XI in Canberra. As I stated late last year, that he will be looking for a place in the Australian team before much longer, he appears to think that he would be a great choice to play against his old team mates. #k**b ( views entirely my own)

Michael Clarke will be back to captain Australia in the World Cup but measures are in place to replace him as early as the second match if he fails to regain fitness. Well its OK  as  the above idiot will think he is an Australian by the end of the month and will be available to take over the helm!!!!

So back at the chateau the wind has managed to cause plenty of damage in the extensive grounds and I can see that it will have to wait until next weekend to be cleared up. , in fact there are a lot of things that will be waiting until next weekend. Having my hair  're oranged' being one of them.

Oh well I think it is time to put on the dishwasher and rev up the hoover.

Or maybe go back to bed for an hour.

Hmmmmmmm which one will it be.................................

WOOOHOOOO it's the weekend

Oh thank goodness it is the weekend and all the 'fun' that is tied into that. Now on top of the washing and the housework I have the added bonus of preparing a suitcase for my possible,departure to south of blighty!

I wish that I was departing for a spot of sunshine and lying around on the beach  ( whilst keeping one eye open for Japanese whaling vessels. It would so ruin my holiday to get  harpooned!).

However that is also in the pipeline ( beach, not being harpooned), and it cannot come too soon I can tell you.

We have been remembering ( not that we will ever forget) Her Serene Highness  who left us four years ago. I like to think that her and His Royal Gorgeousness are now happily (!!!!) playing Scrabble together. ( and arguing over every word that is played!). And that Granny Annie will be keeping them on their toes too!!!

Well in LadyLainey workville yesterday the wind was not too bad (Outside of the office that is!!) and although there had been some traffic chaos earlier in the morning, my journey in was relatively smooth, which makes a chuffing change.


However that all changed when I got home, flipping heck!!! My wheelie bins are now in various parts of the grounds, and it is still windy now!

You know what today holds for me but I think that I will add in a spot of sorting to get the extensive grounds of Chateau de Champions  nearly ready for the onslaught of spring.
I really must make a start on borders so that I can plant out the shrubs that I have been over wintering.
First things first though, clear up the mess made by gales.

Over in cricket world Australia beat India and Steve Smith hit 71 to pass Don Bradmans run record in a test. that was pretty good going!

Scotland announced their World Cup squad which included Durham boy  Calum MacLeod and former tyke Iain Laidlaw.

I, Lady Lainey now announce that after a serious bout of sneezes and nearly coughing half a  lung up, that I am off back to 'mon lit' for another hour before I embark on any further duties.

Well it is the weekend!

It's a windy F(ryan)day

Holy gust of wind!!! It is flipping windy out there!! I have just been to put out the recycling bin (which is only half full) and nearly got blown to Middridge!! So I have brought the bin back in as I don't want it taking a little jaunt up the road as the other one did last week!!

it is seriously wild out there and I am not too keen on the drive into Super swanky Lady Lainey office at all!!!

Yes the office was another fun packed day of learning new lyrics to old songs yesterday. In my book if you don't know the correct words then DO NOT SING. However the 'office boys' mantra must be ' sing the first thing that comes into my tiny mind'.

So it is F(ryan)day and the last day of the week, it is also the start of the weekend and for me this may include packing to head off 'darn sarf' and the joy of being back in areas of former home for a while. I am packing in advance as may be off at a moments notice ( well probably a bit longer than that!).

In the world of cricket there have been some World Cup warm up matches taking place in Dubai. This did not bode well for Scotland who got pummelled by Afghanistan. they suffered an eight wicket defeat and this was despite Hamish Gardener scoring 98.
Oh well it was only a warm up game!

Ireland, Scotland and Afghanistan are playing a tri-series in preparation of the World Cup, however Ireland have already lost Tim Murtagh for these matches due to a foot injury!!!

Oh well I am about to start up the Lady Lainey limo and get blown down the A1 to Ladylainey workville.

No doubt the office will be freezing as the wind howls through the cracks in the wall ( which the landlord classed as air conditioning). Good job I put my thermals on!!!

have a great F(ryan)day and it's nearly the weekend!

Should we be battening down the hatches?

Welcome to North East weather watch! Today is expected to be cold but sunny and then we will get blown away from Friday until Sunday.
yes the weather forecasters are going into over drive telling us that there are 90 mile an hour winds on the way and that we need to be barricading ourselves indoors!!! ( well they didn't actually say that, I did and will be hopefully). Well in my books I would prefer this to snow!

No high winds or snow for the England lions as they marched on roaring.They drew their match in Soweto  with Jonathan Trott scoring 79 from 127 balls.

' Not too late for an England callup!!!' declared all the hacks!

'Let him find his feet again' declared, I, Lady Lainey.

Why oh why are they already setting Trott up for a fall?
He hit 79 which was brilliant but one innings does not a test player make, and does he need the added pressure now?
Well to be honest I think that he wants to be back in the team, and hope that if he makes it, it does not impact on him as it did last year.

Ben Stokes looks to also be trying to send the selectors a message as he was in good form in the BBL. he hit 77 off 37 balls.

Steve Smith the Australian captain was storming away  as he hit his fourth century in successive tests, which put his side in control over India.
Smiths 117 saw him equal Don Bradman and Jacques Kallis.

well it was another sing-a-long day in Super swanky Lady Lainey office as the boys continued to sing their versions of oldies on the radio.
Who will ever forget the late 70's hit

'I caramba'  by The Knack

or remember that

'Her name was Rio and she opened up my eyes' chorus by Duran Duran

Even better being the chorus to 'The sidewinder sleeps tonite' by REM

COME TO TASMANIA

If you think these are correct then I would suggest you 'google' them.

I cannot wait for today!

It's mid week aleady

And it is not letting up in Super swanky Lady Lainey office, now super big job in private school near  to former Lady Lainey home is  stepping up a gear, it is all looking as if it will involve lots of meetings. Oh Joy! .....hang on a minute OH JOY!!! close to former Lady Lainey home now that sounds good!.


The date of the big christening has been announced and there is much excitement..............well in some parts there is. It is more a case in The chateau of if I have something to wear!


In cricket Scotland had held back on announcing their team for the World Cup, however all will be unveiled today.

Peter Moores has announced that his players need to make cricket more exciting for the public.

so here are my thoughts on it:-

1. Before the start of play everyone should do the conga round the ground

2..Pick players with some personality

3. Pick players without injury/ temper problems/super inflated egos

4. Get players to score runs and win matches ( that would be exciting)

5. End each days play with a massive conga around the playing field

England Lions were doing good  over in South Africa they finished their first innings on 443 and then bowled the hosts out for  179.

They are currently on 43-3, with Lyth going for 25! and Robson for 1!!!
Hmmm  not sure what to make of that!

I, Lady Lainey am super busy with cricket job and  have been trying to get myself into some kind of order. easier said than done.

Super good news is that besty friend Francesca who has had two hospital appointments over the Christmas/ New year period, is now given the all clear and apart from a small op in the next month or so is super fit. That's a huge relief.

only a couple of  other things to sort out and all will be making progress, so get your running shoes on Dame Didi, and Lord Christophe ( but for him it is to run in the opposite direction of me and not along side).

Oh well talking about running, I had best be off!

here we go again!

Like I was never on holiday

Well the office was no different apart from server problems which meant that we could not work until nearly lunchtime yesterday. Trill Boy still didn't work then, we were entertained by Trill Family Holidays!

Big job in Bournemouth is taking off in big style which means lots of work for I, Lady Lainey and will mean lots of travelling for everyone concerned , which is not a day out I can tell you!

Luckily the cricket was fairing better than the computer equipment ( new I hasten to add) as England Lions  were  playing well in South Africa.
Both Robson and Lyth ( top Tyke) made centuries however Jonathan Trott was out for 6 on his return to international cricket after leaving the ashes tour last year. Too early for his return? only time will tell on that one.

England lions were  361-4 after 90 overs.

lots of twitter chat regarding Fatty Flintoff being 'mic'd' up during the BBL match were he was facing his old partner in crime, ;he who must not be named in the blog'.
In fact the consensus was that between Fatty, 'He who must not be named' and the Australian commentators a real 'love in' was occurring!

 I decided not to watch the match last night!

World Cup news is that Phil Simmons has decided not to make any changes to the squad. Interesting!


I visited besty friend Coutness Christine of Mc Nally last night and was greeted ( nearly knocked down flat) by the royal hounds. The countess had on Sunday have to rush one of the hounds ( Hector the 3 legged lurcher) to work with her as he had taken it upon himself to consume a whole pack of rum truffles. After some drugs to make him sick, he was on top form last night. not sure how he would have coped with being drunk, especially on 3 legs!

The other two hounds are good as gold, whilst Hector is proving to be a little horror.

Good news on the Dame Didi front is that she has managed to drive a couple of miles in the DD Daimler. Now we just have to get her to walk it!!!

well off to sort out Bournemouth...............and Birmingham and " jobs in London and ................well you get the drift!

Back to the old routine!

Oh well here we go again, new year and same old same old!! Well almost! This morning I woke up to the great news that  a few cricket clubs are interested in speaking to me re my new job in cricket!!! yes indeedy doody  I, lady Lainey Brand Ambassador for besty cricket training company in the world ( my thoughts entirely) am off the  blocks in the New Year!

Now just got to generate some interest in schools!

So with that under my belt before 6am this morning I am ready to face what Super Swanky Lady lainey office has to offer! And I bet that will have driven me mad by 8.31am!


There is not much to report in the real cricket world, although adopted Yorkshireman Kane Williamson managed to frustrate the Sri Lankans as they were pushing for a win. Kane is close to hitting his ninth test century. he was 80  not out.

good news for top Tyke Adam Lyth as he is set to open the batting with the England lions team. Come on Adam.

  I have the record set for this morning so that I can come home and watch the days BBL.

So with frost on the ground and all my food for the day in my bag I am heading off on the A1 to the 'orifice'
I expect that Trill Boy will be in full voice and we will have to endure the last two weeks  in the Trill household before any work is done!

Oh well, not only will I be wrapped up snugger than a bug in a rug, I think I will take my ear plugs too.

If it's your first day back at work, have a good one!

And if you are reading this from the warmth of your bed.................lucky b****r

last lie in for a while!

Yes that was the last long lazy lie in for a while now, and I can say that I enjoyed it. I was awake at 6am, but knew that it was cold and frosty outside so didn't see any sense in getting up!

However the evening are getting ever so slightly lighter, which means only one thing..............IT'S NEARLY SUMMER!!!!!

And it can't come a moment too soon, with my face as white as milk and my legs not seeing the light of day.I cannot wait for the sunshine and all the vitamin D I can soak up! ( it will make a change from all the 'grape juice' I have soaked up over Christmas).

Tomorrow normality returns and I go back to the office! I am not sure if that counts for normality. One thing I know for sure is that it will be flipping freezing and I will not 'likey' that at all.

So what has been happening 'down under'?. Well news has filtered through that Mitchell Johnson will not be playing in the final test against India due to a hamstring injury. I suspect that Australia are wanting him up and fit for the World Cup!.

They are playing at the SCG and all players have admitted that it will be an emotional event as it is the first test there since Philip Hughes sustained injuries that led to his death in November.
You just know that the Aussies are going to put their all into this match!!!


Over here in Blighty, Andrew Gale has been calling for a change in the way T20's are played to stop England getting 'left behind' ( bit late for that Galey Lad!)

He is talking about city based franchises and  along the lines of IPL or BBL.

I am still thinking about this one, I know that it will rest some players, but the main thing is how much will it cost to the supporters! We are still over charged for membership, test and ODI tickets and at the moment most counties  your T20  tickets are part of your membership package or reduced rates.

I don't think that it will happen in the next couple of years, but stranger things have happened.

Oh well the sun is out and I have to go out to the garage and do a spot of 'sorting out'.

Best get my thermals on as it ain't that chuffing warm!!!

Wow!!! I had a super long lie in!!!

Flipping heck I have just woken up and it is nearly afternoon!!! What the chuff has been going on to make I, Lady Lainey lounge about in bed nearly all morning ( OK this is a slight exaggeration as it is only 9 am but that's very late getting up for me!).

Well yesterday afternoon, I went for a 100 mile hike with besty friend Francesca and the 'furry  free' Orson Mia and Lucky. I don't think it was 100 miles although it seemed like it. By the time I had eaten a mahooosive bowl of home made veg soup and got home I was so tired I fell asleep watching the BBL!!!!


I stumbled up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire and woke up about 20 minutes ago!!!]

I think that this doggy walking lark is the business as long as it's not hosing down with rain, or snowing #fairweatherwalker.


Well, well,well after being left out of the World Cup squad Ben Stokes has joined Melbourne Renegades to replace an injured Jessie Ryder, lets hope that Ben stays out of trouble and does not emulate the player he has replaced ( or his own previous form). Funny how they have both had the same problems in cricket ( and I don't mean injury). Good luck to him in the Big Bash.

Also flipping good luck to 'little' Timmy Bresnan who is now part of the Hobart team, and I am thinking that they need him!

Kumar Sangakkara has become the fastest player to reach 12.000 test runs, he achieved the feat in 224 tests.
Sri Lanka are currently playing New Zealand.

Oh well I am off to walk to Ladylaineyville and deposit more 'stuff' at the charity shop before coming home to have a nap!!!
One of my New years resolutions was to wear earrings every day. A bit of an odd one you might think. Well I was burgled 14 years ago when I lived in the South of Blighty and lost all my jewellery. I have since then only worn earrings on a handful of occasions ( 3 I think) and I did  not even wear earrings when I got married. So I decided that I would give it a go this year.
So far I have had the same diamond studs in since New Years day!! which was not the idea of the challenge. Oh well lets go and see if I can find a pair of dangly ones to wear to the shops, to match my tiara!

Have a super Saturday!!!

It's the first F(ryan)day of the year

Well it is the first F(ryan)say of the year and instead of a 'WOOOOHOOO it's nearly the weekend', it's more of a 'BOOOOHOOO it's nearly time to go back to work'. This however is not such a bad thing as it will be so flipping cold in Super swanky Lady Lainey office that I will be burning off all the Christmas calories trying to keep warm!!!

Anyway enough of that I still have the weekend to look forward to.

It was a wild and windy day /night yesterday and nothing to do with the amount of brussel Sprouts I have been consuming. It has been so bad that my wheelie bin is now halfway to London ( actually down the road) and I will have to get dressed and bring it home very soon.

I had a very productive day yesterday and got showered and then put my pj's on intending to laze around all day and then I decided to get clearing out ( again). If you had put a skip on my drive before Christmas I could have filled it, so I am still on the big clean out. More things for eBay and the charity shop. I think that I should have had a boot sale, but it's way too cold for that kind of thing!

By 9pm I was all done and finally got to sit down and watch some TV.

Today I am going to meet besty friends Francesca for lunch today and then walk the dogs, Orson, Mia and Lucky. Orson and Mia will be no problem ( well trained retrievers), but Lucky, a West highland Terrier who seems to think that he is the size of a retriever, is a different kettle of fish. He thinks he is the boss and does not let you step out of line. i.e you go where he wants to go or else!

The only worthwhile cricket/sporty type  news is that  the ban for doping in in any sport has been increased  to  a minimum of 4 years. This is to try to bring the whole world under the same rules.
I personally think that a life time ban should be in order #myviewsonly

It is also less than a week until England arrive in Australia.....................I hope they have been watching the  matches over the Christmas period!!!

Oh well I am off to Ladylaineyville now to go to the Post Office and be verbally abused by the 'wonderful' staff that frequent the town centre establishment. I am also going to make sure that I DO NOT head towards any shop brandishing my favourite four letter word.........in bold red letters........................I will not succumb to the Sales!!!!!


Happy F(ryan)day

Welcome to 2015

Woohoooo it is now 2015 and it got off  to a cracking start as I woke up to the news that Baron Button, yes, Jenson himself has gone and gotten himself married to Jessica. great news for them both after a sad 2014.
Even better is that he beat 'Plastic' Lewis Hamilton down the aisle!!!.


Well the weather outside is frightful,
 but the thought of boiled egg and soldiers is delightful
And since we've no place to go,
Think I'll snore , yes I'll snore some more!

I am giving this day up to doing .............nothing, I will be eating healthily and this evening will be going for a long brisk walk whilst dinner cooks, but apart from that I am doing nothing..............except napping and knitting!!!

QUELLE SURPRISE!


So Australia won the series by drawing the match with India, a good result for them and what they needed after the shock of last year. I do think that it made them focus on what is important and for them getting a team together that would win was very important.

England are still having a bit of R & R and hopefully they will be able to pull together as a team to show that they can be  great cricketers.

It's all going to be happening in the next couple of months.

in the meantime you will have to be content with the combination of my diet and fitness regime. As I am entering into the life of 'Bootcamp' every Monday evening. I foresee this being hard and taking me to the edge, however I will do it and there will be no excuses!
However if skinny birds can do it, I am sure that a podgy old hen like me will give it a good go!
and as long as I manage to buy the appropriate supporting device this weekend!

Oh well time and eBay wait for no Lady as I had forgotten that I had things to put on there to sell.
That's another little thing that is really going to happen this year, Chateau de champions will be de-cluttered...............and redecorated!!!!


And finally many congratulations to Durham bowler Chris Rushworth who completed one year alcohol free at midnight last night. A great achievement and he should be very proud of himself as well. I f you haven't donated get over to his just giving page and leave some money!

OK off to eat,
Happy 2015 and enjoy New Years Day