What's going on today?

So what's going on in the crazzzziiieeee world of Lady Lainey? Well tonight I am off to yoga and hoping not to expose myself, as I did last time. 1.5 hours of stretching and relaxing and meditating is what is the order of the class. I kind of think that I will be asleep within 15 minutes of the class starting.

My love of all things 'kitcheny' both new and old, often leads me into 'brocante' and Charity shops' as I hunt out cut glass cake stands. I have now found a shop which regularly has the said items at ridiculously low  prices. And true to form yesterday I purchased a a wonderful 'low' cut glass cake stand. How excited was I??????

'VERY' is the answer, and to be honest I am beginning to worry about myself!!!!!!

Better get baking!!!!!

A birthday cake!!!! because it is nearly my birthday by the way!!!!!!

In cricket ,Lancashire have released Kabir Ali after two seasons with the club, Ali has a shoulder injury which is requiring surgery. Lancashire have been having a bit of a clear out ( Hmmmmmm Oliver Newby being one!!) and with the loss of another bowler I am thinking that they are considering  bringing back 'fatty' Flintoff  to cover for both them!!! #bigunit

Ashwell Prince the cause of much upset in Chateau de Champions at the end of last season, had announced in March that he would retire at the end of the season, he now seems to be having second thoughts!.
My thoughts.........................keeping them to myself for once! #angermanagement.

Phil Simmons the lovely coach of Ireland has had to return home to Trinidad due to the ill health of a family member.
William Porterfield had also had to fly home last week, for personal reasons and Paul Stirling and Tim Murtagh are both injured!! They are certainly not having the luck of the Irish!!!!

The West Indies debacle trundles on and it will for some time I think. I know that money is a huge objective in this day and age, but what happened to playing for your country with pride!!!!

A former coach of Ireland had me in fits of laughter last night, which I have to say is a huge relief after thinking that I had lost the ability to laugh or even smile. Good to have a chuckle, and good to have a chat too.


Dame Didi went for her weekly 'voodoo' session ( acupuncture ) yesterday and was nigh on skipping out of the door of the hospital, well, I say skipping, I mean walking, which is a vast improvement. She may even be dancing at my Big Birthday Bash Party!!!!!! ( whilst I am slumped in the corner asleep after working myself into a frenzy to get it all organised). Someone asked me why I didn't get it organised for  me ..................

...........well anyone who knows me well enough, knows that I NEVER trust anything important to other people, I am able to do it myself even if I stress myself out of my tiny mind in the process!

Oh well talking about tiny minds.....best get off to Super Swanky ( boys are manky) Lady Lainey office and 'gauge' what has been occurring since 6am!!!!!!!!

Bon Journee

The cause of my back problem?

And so here it is, the possible cause of my back pain, yes there is everything but the kitchen sink in there including the nail varnish I thought I had lost! I have now removed some non essential items ( a tennis ball???) and tried my very hardest to lighten up the bag, and only time will tell if it works. I think I should change to a smaller handbag for work really!

So signings are on going in the crazy world of cricket as Joe Denly returns to his native Kent, he has left Middlesex a year earlier than his contract stated. Kent have also appointed Rob Keys as their Captain for 2015.


A bit of 'tit for tat' in international cricket as India have suspended all tours to the Caribbean after the West Indies 'walked' out on the remainder of their tour. The knock on effect of this is yet to really be seen, but it is causing ripples in the sea of cricket.I am wondering how any West Indian players may fair in a bid to play in the IPL, will it affect this?


It is also rumoured that legal proceedings are in the offing against the West Indies for loss of revenue. Will this actually kill West Indian cricket?

Hope not as they produce some very colourful characters.

Ireland were well and truly beaten in their penultimate match in New Zealand, after rain scuppered their play the other day, Ronnie Hira hit an 170 to put the hosts in control. Ireland seemed to be struggling. They complete their eight game run down under on Thursday.

Ireland have, however gone from strength to strength in recent years, and did have a very hard task master a few years ago who whipped them into shape!!!


It was good to see the Duchess of Cambridge out and about yesterday and to hear that the  new baby ( I love babies) will be arriving in April.
Last night the Duchess was out and about again in a dress very reminiscent of the style of my wedding dress ( hers had long sleeves and mine was slightly longer underneath but you get the picutre). Very nice!!! I always said that I would have it shortened and rewear when I marry Sean Bean  (canny Yorkshire lady). Think I might just drop it into the dressmakers at lunchtime.................not because I am getting married, but as I was a 'Brownie' and a 'Girl Guide' I believe that you should always 'Be prepared'.

So now I must 'be prepared' for another 'fun filled' day in Super Swanky ( boys are cranky) Lady Lainey office.

It's rubbish really there must be better ways to earn a tiara or two!

Hope I get a new one for my birthday!!!

Soooo busy........................................not!!!!!

Well the tea cosy knitting is ramping up now as I am knocking them out at a rate of  one every other day and  4 at weekends!! I seriously need to get a life!!!!...........


So I have decided to start on a lovely warm cuddly blanky for when I am lounging on the sofa watching the cricket over the winter!

I am sort of feeling better and think that I might actually tackle the handbag properly today and see what is lurking in there that I have forgotten about (couple of gold bars? considering the weight of it).

Work in Lady Lainey office is at that stage again where I am ready to swing for Trill Boy. Is it all getting too much for moi? Well I think that something is, and I need to address the issue sooner rather than later.


So has anything been happening in the crazy world of cricket? well Scotland had a win against Wellington in their penultimate game of their  World Cup warm up tour Kyle Coetzer made his third half century in four games!

Ireland were not doing so well as their match against New Zealand XI was abandoned due to rain. They should be used to that scenario by now!.

 Well we are being lashed with wind and rain at the moment and if the weather forecast is to be believed worse is to come in the next few hours. Oh Joy!!!!! my orange curls will be going into overdrive and birdsnest hair will be 'de rigeour'

I have booked to go back to yoga class on Thursday, as regular blog readers will know I dabbled with this earlier on in the year. My 'downward facing dog' was nearly 'downward facing bactrian' due to a malfunction with my top and sports bra. However with better 'scaffolding' in place I am confident that I will get through the class with out any incidents.
I think that I need some inner peace at the moment as I am getting very chewed up over lots of things which are having a knock on effect with the rest of the crazy life of I, Lady Lainey.

Here's to peace and inner tranquillity
.

namaste

Cold and wet and time to batten down the hatches.

So they promised us a heatwave on Saturday, which dawned cold wet and windy, but did turn ( here in Lady Laineyville) overcast and very warm I got my washing dry so no complaints there.

Yesterday is a mystery to me as I spent a good part of the day in bed, still struggling with my back and a very nasty stomach bug.
Today it is cold wet and windy and going to get 'wilder' by tomorrow as we are given a weather warning! Yep we are going to be hit by the tail end of a Caribbean  storm!!! Why can we never be hit with the tail end of Caribbean wall to wall sunshine??  Now that I would likey!


I no likey the complete lack of crickety type news, although I have just read that  Shane Watson is stepping up in his comeback bid for the Australians, as he is named in the T20 squad against the South Africans.
I no likey his hair, which is taking on a Matthew Hoggardesque style ( ie, no style at all).

I do likey that the Yorkshire boys are doing their utmost to secure the future of Yorkshire cricket, I head that Rich Pyrah was in the nets with young cricketers at Headingley last night!


I likey that Chris Rushworth became a Daddy again yesterday to a very healthy and bouncy baby girl. Granda Rushworth let me in on the news early on and then pictures of the little beauty were published on Twitter later in the day. I don't just likey, I love babies!


I don't likey that it is still flipping dark outside and I am expected to get the Lady Lainey limo out of the garage and go to the flipping super freezing Lady Lainey office, where for the third week running we have no heating!!!!

I do likey that its not long until the arrivals from South Africa and all the fun that will entail.

Oh well I best go and do some work, which I can neither likey or dislikey!!! It buys the tiaras!.

Lazy Sunday

Yes I am still in bed typing this, its not just a lazy Sunday I am feeling a little bit unwell ( no wine or alcohol of any kind involved). I wasn't feeling too grand last night so I took myself off to bed with 'Jack Bauer' at 8pm and I am going to snuggle back down with Jack as soon as I have finished this tome.

I need to be feeling better for the week ahead as it is a full on week and I need to be in top form.

So lets see what happened yesterday.

Well I was busy in the morning doing a spot of shopping  ( think I have all my Christmas decorations sorted now),and also baking my cake for the 'bake off'. It was flipping lovely.

I did a lot of washing and also tidied the Boot Room which had muddy footprints running through it!!!! 10 minutes later spic and span!

Then I started to feel unwell!!!!! So took myself of for a lie down on the sofa!

Anyhooooo enough about me lets see what's been happing...........

.........In the crazy world of cricket, Leicestershire had shown very poor form during the last season and consequently have been having a bit of an overhaul of staff etc. After failing to win a championship match all summer, they are now looking to bolster there team with as many Aussies as they can squeeze in.
They already have Clint McKay on board for 2015 and Angus Robson  has been playing for them too.

Leicester need to do something pretty sharp,  as they were four players down at the end of the season including their Captain  Josh Cobb.

The problem seem to be more than players though and hopefully they will be on the up in 2015.



In football yesterday it was a good day for The Blades as they beat Bradford 2-0.

Sadly not such a good day for Birmingham City, which saw them reduced to 10 men and also saw Cousin, Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo get a yellow card!!!!! Oh no Hooligan!!!!! this is not the behaviour of the Captain!!!!
They lost too!!!!!


The Mighty Whites played on Friday night and lost.

Flipping heck!!! Apart from my Sheffield boys there need to be some serious team talks.


Oh well time for tablets and back to Jack Bauer.

Lazy Sunday? oh I think I deserve it.

BBBRRRRR!!!!

Flipping heck, they said we were going to have a heatwave today and so far it is cold, dark, pouring with rain and blowing a gale, I am trying to decide which chapeau will be the choice of the day. Think it will be whichever one  keeps my ears warm!!! And the one which fits best over my tiara!

Blowing a gale is what it has been doing in India, in fact a full blown storm has whipped up over there in the cricket world, as The West Indian players have ended their tour early due to disputes over pay, yes they have done on strike!!!! can you believe it!!!
There have been conflicting reports about why it has happened but it appears that money is the root of the problem.
The West Indies Cricket Board offered to field another team which was deemed to be unsuitable.
At the end of the day money is the issue, how else will those boys ever afford another 20 stone gold chain to wear when bowling!!!!

After all the storms that were going on in Australian cricket this time last year, Darren Lehmann has extended his coaching contract for another year taking him up to the end of June 2017. That should give the team more stability.


So I am keeping this short as I have to head off to the kitchen and whip up another gale, or more to the point a cake. After being challenged by Chris Rushworth, I am about to go and make a coffee cake.

it will be ready very soon so I will be serving it with coffee before lunch.if anyone wants to pop round.

I don't think I will be having any washing on the line today as it is still raining, so I may be going back into the realms of '24' world. I love Jack Bauer!!!

A Bientot

It's a happy F(ryan)day

yes it's F(ryan)day and its a good day today.

Yesterday we had very good news on the Dame Didi front, she went to the hospital to get the results of her latest scan, and it is all looking very positive. Although she knows that this is just part of the journey it is a huge relief and means that she can now settle down and get ready for 'Le Grand Noel', when we will decamp to the sunny climes of Sheffield to overindulge and be waited on hand and foot. Well how else should a Lady and a Dame be treated.

Methinks she is probably ringing the immoblier today!

On the Lady Lainey front or back as the case is, I am not to chuffing good, after over doing it ( and over loading the handbag) my back is terribly achy and I am back on the pain killers again. I hope I get a new bathroom soon because I need a soak in the bath badly!!!


It was a good day yesterday for 'my boys' of Yorkshire CCC as they headed off 'darn sarf' to meet the Duke of Edinburgh and have a tour of his 'crib'.  they also had a spot of lunch and  went sightseeing.They seem to have had a full old day of it and all looking jolly smart in matching suits. Gillespie the Gallant was looking very dapper.
His Royal Ryanness was not there!!!!  I did get word that he was however coaching young kiddywinks last night, so that ruled out illness.(PHEWWWWW!)

Chris Cairns, who was in his day, undoubtedly eye candy for Lady Lainey, has been given his trial date for his perjury trial. He will return to court in January but the trial will not start until October 2015. In the meantime Cairns is on bail.

Elsewhere in the cricket world, every man and his dog is having a 'pop' at everyone else, Gooch and Swann having a 'moment'. Gooch and Anderson talking about accusations in 'some' book that was published last week. Lady Lainey having a go at them all and saying 'For the love of dogs, just play some flipping cricket!'

And Chris Rushworth has thrown the teatowel down and challenged Lady Lainey and Lady Janey to a 'bake off' after we did poke a bit of fun at him yesterday.

He did however turn out a pretty good looking cake.

So I am whipping up one of my famous cakes in the morning and will be posting pictures on twitter!

Ok off to wash the old curls even though it is lashing down outside. Rumour has it that it is going to be warm tomorrow !!!!

Nearly the weekend .....................

......................well it's Thursday,  its chucking it down with rain outside,and my thoughts are turning to the weekend, will I be flying off to Fort Bourtange in Holland?  Will I be flying off to Spain for a spot of sun, chances are I will be 'flying' down the local Co op to do my shopping and then doing the usual, housework at Chateau de Champions.

OMG how flipping boring am I becoming?
The end of the domestic cricket season has seen I, Lady Lainey turning very slowly into a semi couch potato ( re watching '24'), and the fact that it is so cold outside means that even the thoughts of a brisk walk/jog seem to disappear the moment that I set foot into the warmth of the  'chateau'.

However now that the back is feeling a little better ( i.e I can walk unaided), I feel that this weekend will be the chance to do something constructive.

In cricket, Scotland have been playing matches 'down under' and not too successfully for them it appears.This was 'dubbed' their World Cup warm up tour and their first match at the end of last month against  Tasmania (the little devils!) saw them well and truly beaten by 186 runs.

However a few days later after a stern team talk, they puled up their socks adjusted their sporrans and beat Tasmania by 10 runs.

Yesterday saw them in New Zealand where they played out a thrilling match. The final score
New Zealand ( or Zealia as I renamed them recently WITHOUT the aid of wine), 263 in their 50 overs. Scotland 262!!!! in their 50 overs. That would have been a great match to see.

As you know I have Scotland play many times when they have ventured south of the border to play at Chester le Street and over the years they have become a stronger team. Good luck to them.

The Yorkshire boys announced the details of their pre season tour to Abu Dhabi and Dubai, I had a little look as I thought I could kill two birds with one stone and go and visit friends in Dubai. Hmmmm all was going well until I got to the upgrade and then the  single supplement.............................anyone want a room mate?.

And talking Yorkshire, the boys head off to the Palace today to be acknowledged as champions and have a spot of lunch.

Good for them, well deserved.

I am now debating whether to wash the orange curls? Its still hosing it down so I am going to give it a miss, it'll be soaked by the time I get into the office and by 10am will have icicles hanging from it due to the lack of heating ( still).

THERMALS AHOY!!!!!

Feeling a bit more like me!

Yes the back is feeling slightly better, two nights of rest and not so much racing around have help it, however I know that over the next few weeks at work there is huge  amounts of archiving to prepare to be sent to London HQ, I am thinking that the 'office boys' will be doing all the lifting and carrying. I cannot have a poorly back  when it is my Big birthday bash (yes it's my birthday sooooon!!!!). How on earth will I be able to get up an bop to my fave tunes!!!


I am nearly 'bopping' my head against the wall as I read that 'Fatty ' Flintoff is now thinking of making an appearance in Australia's Big Bash T20 for Brisbane Heat. After his not so 'amazing' return to Lancashire this summer I was hoping that it would be the last that we heard about him, however no!, he cannot leave the Cricket Arena gracefully.
Although in his playing career he was constantly rated  by the ICC as one of the  top international all rounders, his career was blighted by injuries which  were often blamed on his bowling action and his  heavy frame. He is now 36 and really been out of the game since 2009. Why can he not let sleeping dogs lie.

I think that Australia may just be about to see another 'FIGJAM' hit their shores! He was good in his day.



There are new contract signings going on all over the County scene as we speak, however no news on whether his Royal Ryanness will get the extension to his contract that he would dearly love. He has another year on his contract , but did voice that he would like a few more years. Come on Yorkshire, give the lad an extension. And I might take out a membership!!!!


I am about to take a hobble out to the Lady Lainey limo and head off to Super Swanky Lady Lainey office where a bacon and sausage butty will be waiting for me ( I hope).

I am hoping that the coaches of the England ladies team have a good day today, getting 'coached' or something along those lines. I know that it is being run by a very hard task master with very high standards!

Have a great day whatever you are doing.

Tuesday and lots to do!

Yep it is Tuesday and I am already behind on doing things that need to be done!!! ( if that makes any sense!)

I need some motivation and I need it now!!!
Yesterday afternoon, as I went to pick up my handbag, something'went'! and I knew it was worse than my knicker elastic.!!!!

As I struggled to stand up, the thought hit me that either


1. my handbag is overloaded ( probably yes, the weight of my handbag is well documented in the blog)

2. My body weight is overloaded ( probably yes, the body weight is well documented in the blog)

3. The digging on Saturday did not help me in any way at all ( probably yes.........you know the rest)

So last night as I gulped down ibuprofen,  then went for a hobble round the block, just to see if that helped. I decided that things really have to change, not enough exercise, too much food, had to be shown the door and things really do have to change here at the Chateau. And the handbag??? well I managed to remove a couple of non essentials.

I clambered into bed at 6.30pm, due to the fact that I could sit comfortably, and actually slept right through until 5am this morning.
Do I feel better? well I managed to roll out of bed and crawl into the bathroom  so I sort of think not!

Things are very quiet in cricket land as the players have a bit of time of for R & R before either heading away to play in warmer climes or start the process of indoor training.

With this in mind I am putting together my own  form of punishment training and hopefully it will be showing results by the time Pere Noel pops his head into the Chateau to deliver me my Xmas Pressies.

For those of you struggling to think of a pressie for my up coming birthday ( as I have been told I am very difficult to buy for ) here are some ideas.

MAAHOOOSIVE bouquet of white flowers delivered to my door on November 15th by Sean Bean, or Gillespie the Gallant or His Royal Ryanness ( or all three!).

Yorkshire Membership for 2015

Years supply of orange hair colour

A Border Terrier ( or two)

New house in Rheims

or just seeing you at the big birthday bash.

Oh well got to move slowly as can't 'dash' and head off to Super Swanky Lady Lainey office.

Hope y'all have a good day

Working week starts here

So after all the hard work and excitement of the weekend, and the new wicket, it is back off to Super Swanky Lady Lainey office for a well deserved rest!!!!

Yesterday I was still busy, but that involved going to the viewing morning at the local auction house and glugging coffee in local 'bistro' with besty friend Francesca. We spent a wonderful couple of hours rummaging through boxes,  wishing we had higher ceilings in our houses to accommodate some HUGE  pieces of furniture. My eye was caught by a stunning oak Monks bench. Not dissimilar to one I had purchased at the same auction house about 8 years ago. This one was however had a guide price of 10-20 times what I paid for mine!!!!!!!!!!!!


Over in India, cricket has not been fairing well as the third one day international had to be postponed to to Cyclone Hudhud!.  And we moan about it being cold here at cricket.

Sky Sports have  also won the rights to show all international cricket until 2023 which will include over 14 ICC competitions.
Sadly this means that a lot of people will miss out on seeing any cricket at all. Oh for the heady days when cricket was on the BBC, or even channel 4.

Although I have said that I am off to work for a rest, it is actually going to be a busy week for me this week.
I have the usual housework etc to do as non was done over the weekend, but I also have to start to think about food or the upcoming Birthday party. I think that I will be speaking to everyone that I know and begging some freezer space.


So this is a super short one this morning as I have lots to do. And you all got a double dose of blogs yesterday!!!

have a great Monday and hope that the start of your working week is a good one.

A blog from Lady Lainey

Outside my kitchen window is a little walled garden that was built by my Dad. I love this 'wasted space' but sadly that is exactly what it is a wasted space.

Last year when I trundled off to the Scarborough Cricket Festival my eagle eyes took in some 'little cricket men' being sold by the wonderful Ted Kirwan, so I snapped some up.

They 'lived' in the dining room, ( and caused many a stubbed toe too).

until Spring  when they were placed outdoors in the walled garden,it was a jungle out there for the boys of 'Tykeshire CCC'. ( and believe me, there was 'wildlife in there too')

I was racking my ( tiny) brain  regarding how to get the boys something better than my old kitchen mat!!! 

  

Salvation came from the wonderful people at Flicx UK. As they had ready sent a wicket  up Mt Kilimanjaro which helped break  the record for  The highest Cricket match' I am guessing that the ' maddest cricket match' was their next claim to fame!! :-)

I had shown 'my boys' the parcel that was delivered this week

 Total bewilderment!!!  

So Saturday morning in fog and drizzle I donned my wellies  and set  forth with the  spade to dig out the 'jungle that was to be their new  cricket pitch!

They were all watching from the boundary  as the work took place

By this time  I had faced my mortal foe ( a worm) I was hoping that I was close to 'the grand unveiling'.  

Yes indeed I unwrapped the 'pitch and laid it out much to the joy of my 'Boys'

After a bit of 'argy bargy' about where it went and who went where I was too tired to care, but have to admit that it looks brilliant,  especially when I am loading the dishwasher!!!

I cannot thank everyone at  www.flicx.co.uk   enough for being such good sports and for making 'my boys' and myself very happy.................................

and thank you for the bat too!

This is going to be inscribed with the name of the ground and  hung over the wall......................and the name????

Well you've probably been to the 'Home of cricket', Lord's. Well this is the 'Home of Gnome cricket' Lady's!!!

A blog from The Gentlemen of Tykeshire CCC



This was us at our christmas party! What scamps we are!

We are The gentlemen of Tykeshire CCC and  we have our 'ground' in the extensive grounds of Chateau de Champions. Lady Lainey the 'big lady' that lives there is a complete cricket nut and lets us play on in the 'jungle'  outside of her kitchen window.

We have been  forced to play amongst the weeds that she never has time to clear, as she is always jetting off to places like  Durham ICG, Headingley, Trent Bridge and Scarborough! She gave us her old kitchen mat to play on, but it was less than ideal as sometimes our top bowler 'Bryan Leftarmer'  would trip over it and got horrible carpet burns!

He would say things like 'ecky thump that chuffing well chafed!'

It always made our umpires chuckle though!.

This week strange things started appearing in the extensive grounds of the Chateau

The 'big lady' would not tell us what it was!!!!

So yesterday ( Saturday) in thick fog and drizzle she came out of  to finally address us,  telling us that there were going to be 'Big changes'. We were all still 'in the dark as to what was happening. However her boots has us all a bit worried!

She mean't business of some kind!!!

She then went into the 'little house' where she stores the Lady Lainey limo and came out with a spade!!!!!! We were all wondering who was going to be 6ft under first!

She started digging like a mad thing ( or more to the point like her usual self!).
Then..........the best bit,  she was pulling out bulbs and roots when she got hold of a  long wriggly thing!!! She screamed, threw it up the garden and ran in the house slamming the door ( because it was going to come and get her????!!!).

We were all in hysterics!!!!

We were even on our sides!!!!

She then pulled herself together after a hefty glug out of an bottle containing amber coloured 'water'!!

We all watched as she laid down some 'black stuff'.She told us it was to stop the jungle reappearing! and then ..........................she unwrapped the big white sausage ( this is not a euphemism!)

Well it was green!!!


Then she unrolled it!!!!

We all gasped in amazement!!!!

She had only got us a real cricket pitch to play on!!!!

OH MY GOODNESSS!!!!

how flipping amazing is this!!!!

There was a bit of a rumpus as 'The Lady's favourite ' Bryan Leftarmer  said he wanted the white line for his mark! and the square leg umpire refused to be 'square leg' ( Darren Hairy is his name and  for once no amount of money in the world was making him change his viewpoint). She allowed us to  sort it out amongst ourselves!

She then opened a big green bottle which went  POP!!!! and poured a LITTLE bit on the new pitch before drinking hefty amounts of it until her legs went all wobbly and she nearly fell over!!! ( lightweight!)

She even got us some floodlights so that we can play in the dark when she in knocking out ZZZZZ's

'Serve the noisy neighbours right' she slurred!

Then she disappeared through the door into the Chateau and we doubt we will see again her until she stumbles down the stairs for water at  3am!!!

However we are humbly grateful to  www.flicx.co.uk who provided us with a wonderful playing surface and even sent  us a bat!!!!

They are the top boys and girls !!!! And  are welcome at any of our celebrations, anytime, but you have to be quick to get the 'falling down water' before Her Ladyship quaffs it all!!!!

Thank you, now I have got to go, as I am in the field!

Sun is up and it's Saturday.

Well it is light outside, there is actually no sun and it is foggy and drizzly!! so not quite sure why I am so perky this morning, as I have lots of work to do today,

 I am about to turn into 'Head Groundsman'!!! One of my many guises ( along with, 'Super chef', 'Demon Decorator' and of course 'Lovely Lady')  I am hoping that by this evening everything will be done. So I can post pictures tomorrow of another job well done in the extensive grounds of Chateau de Champions ( formerly Tykes Towers).

Friday evening used to always be party night in the Chateau  ( and Tykes Towers and LT Towers II) however of late  I have been so tired from a week in the office, shouting and looking pretty, that all thoughts of partying have gone right out of my super pretty orange curled head. last night was no exception, in 'mon lit' by 8.30pm, lights out at 9pm. I woke up at 3am this morning then turned over and woke up about 40 minutes ago.

However over the next few weeks thoughts will be turning to partying, which I will be doing at every possible opportunity for my Big Birthday bash in November.

Woooohooo party days ahoy!!!!!!

Not so for the lovely Oliver Newby!!!! who has been released by Lancashire after 12 seasons with the club!!!! I am seriously hoping that someone snaps him up for another couple of seasons as he made a great model for my as yet unpublished book 'Cricketers Posteriors'.

he has however been on the injury list a little bit and I fear that I may have seen the last of him on the field.

Hmmmmmm The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have been given honorary memberships of The MCC. Not sure about this one. I have yet to see The Duchess at a Test match, although to her credit she has been photographed picking up a bat and  even hit the ball!!!

Well fog is lifting, dishwasher has washed the dishes, washing machine has finished it's cycle and I am about to don my clothes, nip out for veg for dinner this evening, get some 'quick drying mortar' and then come back to get on with things in the garden!

Hope the sun is up where you are.

For old times sake!!! 

Its a perfect F(ryan)day

Yeeeeeeaaaahhhhhh!!! it is F(ryan)day and I am super glad as it is so close to the weekend that I can almost taste it!

I just have to get through today in Super Swanky Lady Lainey office and then two days off!!!!!

It's going to be a busy weekend too! Especially as on Sunday besty friend Francesca and I going to the local auction viewing day.

However before 'Le weekend'kicks off, lets see if anything of interest happened in the crazy world of cricket yesterday.

Little Timmy Bresnan is not a happy bunny ( and he's not that little either). He is jolly cross at being named as part of the KP parody' account culprits. Timmy took to Twitter, Facebook and probably The Yorkshire Post too, to deny that he had anything to do with it. I for one believe him! After all I am sure that if he had a 'dispute' with KP he would have just flattened him! ( I would pay to see that!).

THE book went on sale yesterday although for most of us, why buy it?, we know what it says. I personally think that 'he who must not be named in the blog' has done exactly what he set out to do, take down as many people as possible, whilst coining more money in.

He is on a one man crusade to take down English cricket and I DO NOT like that at all. If he has been treated so badly here why not go home to South Africa?

And so this really is the end of 'FIGJAM' in my blog. After all the book shows that the acronym is absolutely correct!

Yesterday in Super swanky Lady Lainey office Dan Dan Cowboy draughtsman returned....................at lunchtime bearing huge pots of Thai food ( made by Mrs Dan).  By 2pm I was nodding off in my office after eating a jolly large plate full. It was very nice! I did however feel flipping sick after I had stuffed it all down my cakehole!

Oh well time to head off for 7 hours of shouting at boys, drinking copious amounts of Rooibos and looking pretty.................


.........................and then the weekend!

Dennis the Menace causes havoc!!!

Yep  Dennis is a Menace

Minnie is a Minx

And don't get me started on The Bash Street Kids

Its all there at http://www.beano.com/

I tell you the Beano is sounding like the up coming Autobiography that I won't be buying!

I have actually stopped reading anything on Twitter ( sorry Twitter pals I will be back next week), as I cannot bear to read another word about 'he who must not be named in the blog'


What has been happening in cricket land then?

Well to be honest, nothing!!! apart from cricketers taking sides in THE debate and telling their side of things.
All jolly flipping boring.


In Lady Lainey wine land, things are hotting up as people are gearing up for Christmas. I am filling my diary up very nicely and hope that it keeps that way .

I also need to get things in place for the Big birthday bash which is getting closer, and which is still only half organised. I don't even have anything to wear!!!! ( that is a bit of a fib really as I have loads to wear but not sure if I can squeeze my bulk into any of them).

Dame Didi went to be a human voodoo doll yesterday when she went to have her first session of Acupuncture. She said it was very strange! She is also having lots of other 'alternative therapies' over the next few weeks. before long she will be floating around in Indian cotton dresses, birkenstocks and eating lentils!!!!!

Oh well as news is VERY low on the ground today and I can't be bothered to make any up, I am heading off to the office for another day of fun and games.

Oh yes I checked the weather forecast for the weekend and I should be able to get the 'spade' work done and have the grand unveiling of my project next week!!!

Breaking news from The Dandy!!!

This week Desperate Dan is under the weather!!!!!!!

There is a triple helping of Bananaman

More of this can be found at http://www.dandy.com/


See I told you were I would be gleaning 'news' from The Dandy this week, and you thought I was joking!


So how was my day for me, well it was actually very good apart from an early start in Super Swanky Lady Lainey office, I managed to nip in the bud Trill Boy and Pony Paul  singing to the radio ( on threat of them singing Soprano  in future). And all was well for the remainder of the day.

I got home to find a 'strange' shaped parcel in my garden, The 'little cricketers' were all curious to find out what it was, however they will have to wait until the grand unveiling ( more to follow).


Wooooo it's all hotting up in cricket land, ECB, leaked document, 'not what it appears to be'. I think the mud slinging begins! Good for the ECB, first time you will have heard me say that!

Sad news in my road last night. The lovely little ginger cat which regularly used my plant pots as a toilet, but was very lovely, was hit by a car on Saturday and killed. His mummy is as you would expect very distressed, made even worse by the fact that she is wheelchair bound and he was her faithful companion. She saw the car hit him and speed away and cannot believe that they didn't even stop to see what they had hit. There were lots of tears.


More tears in Chateau de Champions as after a four week hiatus, which was total bliss, Tzarina Katerina overcame her strop and phoned me!!!!! OMG!!! thats my peace shattered now, no more coming home and relaxing.

well it is midweek and we are nearer the weekend, so i am off to Super swanky Lady Lainey office with renewed vigour ( actually I am not, I fell asleep on the sofa last night and woke up at 4am, so I am flipping knackered).

No change there then.

it's all about me!

Oh yes indeedy, I am spoiling myself today, instead of thinking about others first, I am being totally selfish and putting me first!!! All day!!!! Me, me , me............and then Dame Didi!

So firstly I have packed up all my super food for breakfast, and lunch in the office and also prepared 'Harissa salmon' for dinner. I am showered, orange curls twirled ( and they are finally getting tamed tonight), and I am wearing a frock, to shock the office boys. As its flipping cold I have got boots on with it!

I am taking no prisoners in the office today, it silence and work or being locked inthe cold dark and damp back office for them!

On my way to get my curls tamed I will 'pop'in to see Peggy and Mickey the Border terriers who work in the bike shop, I say 'work' I actually think that they own it, well the 'own' the people who own it.

Tonight when I get home I am doing a spot of 'wine work' NO!!!! not drinking it, calls and paperwork, and then I am settling down for a couple of hours with Jack Bauer, yes once again I am entering '24' world.

That seems to be the extent of me spoiling myself.

So what about Dame Didi, well her snoring and teeth grinding is well documented here in the blog but it was taken out into the wide world yesterday. She fell asleep in the scan machine and woke herself up doing the 'snoring thing'. I bet all at James Cook were impressed!!!!


As for the cricket world..........................'blub blub, sob ,sob, poor me, feel sorry for me'


yes you all know what that is about, there will be no need to buy the damned book as it is splashed across every newspaper.

So for the next few days I will be reading  the Beano and The Dandy and reporting on Desperate Dan and The Bash Street Kids.

Wish they still printed 'Twinkle'!!!!!

New week, new me!

So the new working week begins and I am ready for it.....................well sort of,after going to bed with wet hair last night I have woken up with an orange curly mohican!!! never a good look at any time but especially not today when I am focusing on looking super splendid!
Oh well I suppose relatively fabulous will just have to do for today! And as it is lashing down outside and very very cold and windy, I guess the orange birdsnest afro, will look much worse by the time I arrive at super swanky Lady Lainey office.

Yesterday was a lovely Autumnal day, sunny with a breeze, meaning that all the washing was done and dried in record time, so that when I had surprise visitors in the afternoon, the house was in relative order.

Mr Funky messaged me to say I should read the interview in the Daily mail with ' he who will not be named in the blog'. To be honest I would have rather poked sticks in my eyes than read the diatribe that spouts forth from his cakehole!
Apparently they asked  questions he may not answer.

what?

'How did you ever get helmets big enough to fit on your overly swelled head?'

'Have all the doors in your house been widened to accommodate your head?'

He was blabbing in just about every paper ( ahead of his 'much anticipated' book release on Thursday). In the Telegraph he stated that there was a 'bullying culture' in the dressing room. HMMMMMM!!!!! I remember his tweets about James Taylor so I wonder who was doing the bullying!
He claims he was 'marginalised and demonised.'
 Two words sum this up. 'OWN DOING'
Sorry lets add another two 'STOP TEXTING'

As my visitor pointed yesterday an autobiography is never a good read, its the unofficial biography that is needed, dig the dirt and let others have their say. I am sure they are queueing round the block to do that!
And so this is the last that will be mentioned about him or the book

His sycophants will make sure that he makes a mint out of this book, but believe me it will be on the shelves in 'Poundland' before you can say 'I wee'd in the garden at Downing Street'

And so I  have  to wrap up super warm today (Lady Lainey office is always freezing on Mondays) I fear that winter is well and truly on its way.

Oh well time to get out the berets, oil the Hunters and put the shovel back in the boot of the car.

Brrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

Diet Sunday

OH NO !!!! it is the day to start the diet, my scales not so much said 'Help' when I stood on them, as 'One at a time please'!

So in preparation of the 'diet day' I made a mahooosive pizza with all the things that were lurking in the fridge yesterday, which was just as well as I got a call from 'Black knight of the Ferrrari' to say that he was back in the UK and more to the point was popping round. Hmmmmm  that meant a quick tidy up  but was I going to share my pizza with  him?
Well yes I did and if any of you know me from cricket, you will know that I share what ever I have in my numerous bags ( Her serene Highness brought Dame Didi and I up properly , she did however lose the way with Tzarina 'Whats yours is mine and whats mine, is my own!' Katerina)
Eldest child syndrome me thinks!

So we had pizza and wine and chatted about all things UAE  and life. It's not being too kind to him personally at the moment and he is considering getting a manager to deal with the UAE buisness and up sticks back to the UK.
Flipping woooohooooo we will be 'Moving it like Jagger' down the wine bar soon I hope.

By the time he went home we had put the world to rights and had a great laugh too. he flies back to UAE next week but should be back in the New Year.
He doesn't like cricket though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Many of you may have wondered why I have made no reference to the Andrew Gale saga.  I was in fact waiting to read everything that I could about it.  Well on Friday Gale was cleared of 'racism' but sent on an anger management course and banned for two more matches.( meaning he will miss the Championship opening match!!!)
I think that they have made a scapegoat of him. It was ridiculous that they wouldn't let him lift the Trophy when Yorkshire won the County championship, now they are going to stop him playing in the opening match of the season. #pettyandpuerile

I think that this is totally ludicrous and wonder how many cricketers will be in the same situation this time next year.  #nannystate

Gale had been charged with failing to conduct himself in a proper manner. Hmmmm and Prince had been behaving well???? The Umpires need to step in, they  are paid to 'Umpire' a game and half the time they can't even decide if a player is out, time wasting,  needs his socks pulling up etc etc!  These are the people who should be up on charges!!!!! Or should all be sent on 'refresher courses'!!!!

Oh my dog!!!! so early on a Sunday morning and I am ranting!!!!



AND BREATH!!!!!


Oh well, I am off to make 'oat bran' pancakes for breakfast, to go with the fruit salad  that is in the fridge.
Not too bad a start to diet day.

The Lady Lainey R Annual Awards

Well everyone else is doing it, so why not I Lady Lainey?

I decided that I would try to follow the usual format of awards but of course there has to be a ‘Lady Lainey’ twist to it

1.    Best bowler
2.    Best batsman       
3.  Coach of the  the year            
4.    Best hair in cricket.           
5.    Most promising posterior                 
6.     Tear jerking moment of the season              
7.      Outstanding achievement

And the awards go to...................................

1       1.   His Royal Ryanness

         2.   Adam Lyth

         3.   Gillespie the Gallant

4       4.   OH COME ON!!!!!! YOU ALL KNOW THIS!!!!! HRR!!!

         5.    Jack Shantry ( I said most promising, not the best)

         6.   Joint winners this year, Yorkshire for winning the county Championship and Durham for winning The             One Day Cup

         7. Chris Rushworth, for his amazing 15 wicket haul in  one match 

      

          And those are the awards for this year, stay tuned as anything could happen in the up coming season.

        So back here at Chateaus de Champions ( formerly Tykes Towers, formerly LT Towers II, formerly             Wilko's weekend pad), it is only flipping well chucking it down, which means that the digging out of the          wicket  has been postponed just in case there are any of the flipping frog family still in residence and              because those wriggling things will be coming up to the surface YUKKKY!!!

         So instead I am going to turn into a Goddess of Domesticity and do some cooking and FINALLY make the cushion covers that Dame Didi has been waiting about 10 years for me to get round to doing.

       I might even have a little nap too!!!

   QUELLE SURPRISE!!!!

Thank flip it's F(ryan)day

HUURRRRAAHHHH!!!!!! it is F(Ryan)day and I am super flipping, tiara twirling, happy. I have now managed to pull myself (temporarily) out of the post cricket doldrums and have set up some jobs to do.

1. Finish the newel posts for the staircase.

2. Get wicket laid in extensive grounds of Chateau de Champions.

3. Dig out borders ready for spring planting.

4. Have a lie down in a dark room!!!

yes all of these (hopefully) will be taking place this weekend.( the last one is a certainty)

last night lots of 'do's' were taking place as Besty home county of  Yorkshire and former besty home county of Durham were having their awards evening.

Adam Lyth swept the board at the Yorkshire event, and obviously no matter how many times I scribbled His Royal Ryanness's name on a piece of paper and put it in a bucket at Headingley last week, he did not win the members award. do you think they knew that I wasn't a member?

At Durham Chris Rushworth picked up an armful of awards  for being the most amazing bowler that they had all season. 15 wickets in a match!!! Well enough said.

I had a fabby telephone conversation with Harry ( H) Latchman  regarding my soon to be held big birthday bash. he is really hoping that both himself and his lovely wife Blossom will be able to come.
However they had house guests with them and I then spent a very funny half hour talking to good friend and former  Sussex, Somerset, Middlesex and Glamorgan player, International and test Umpire, Allan Jones. ( when he joined Glamorgan he became the first cricketer to play for 4 first class counties). There was much hilarity and lots of memories most especially about him arranging me to meet Ronnie Irani!!!

Sadly due to his wife celebrating her birthday a few days before hand they can't travel up from Taunton for the bash of the year.

What a great end to a very long day.

And the Lady Lainey limo?....................................
......... well the spring is replaced and after being 'snogged' by Benji the french kissing border collie, I fair bounced off home in the limo which is feeling and driving much better.

Now I am off to super swanky Lady Lainey office to shout at boys ( last day for Dan Dan cowboy draughtsman) and drink copious amounts of coffee whilst looking very pretty.
It's a tough job but someone has to do it!!!!!

Cricket news

Well all of the county teams were trundling off to The PCA awards last night at 'Old Billingsgate', smelly!!!! The fish market!!!.

 Yorkshire put their boys on the train, hopefully they all got off at the right stop! From reports on what was being consumed by all teams on their way there, I am surprised they didn't wake up back in Leeds.

From the selfies  and pictures being put up on twitter it looks as if they were all having a great time.
After reporting about Lyth and Lees cleaning up at the Cricket Writers Club awards on Tuesday the pair picked up PCA awards As PCA Player and Young Player respectively.

Well done to them and about time that Adam Lyth got some recognition.

Sadly Jack Brooks did not pick up an award, but I am sure it won't be long before he is being sponsor by L'Oreal ( because he's worth it?).

I noted that there was no award for the besty bowler in the Counties ( which would have been shared between Chris Rushworth (15 wickets in one match) and His Royal Ryanness ( 7 wickets in one innings).

I am currently working on the LLR Annual Awards which will be published soon ( probably over the weekend after a bucket load of Virgin Wine). Keep reading to see the categories and nominees.

Lord Christophe eldest monster child nephew, sent me a text last night, asking about my 'little cricketers'. These are little men that play cricket outside my kitchen window. He asked me if they have names.............................hmmmm I hadn't really got that far, been too busy sorting out the laying of a wicket for them! Might have to look into that too


I have been in Super Swanky Lady Lainey office since 6am this morning, and just know that this is going to be the LONGEST day.

There was a very thin layer of frost on the ground this morning!!

So this is a short and slightly late blog this morning, I am cracking the whip and hoping that we get everything finished by tomorrow, when Dan Dan cowboy Draughtsman  goes back into retirement ( for another 3 month!). It doesn't look too promising at the moment!!!!

Why does that not surprise me.

 Think I might have to get my crayons out and get on with some 'drawing'!

It's October

Oh my dog, it is the first day of October already, where has the flipping year gone  ( sitting on the boundary of some or other cricket ground mostly).

The weather has turned milder and I Lady Lainey cannot make myself do anything constructive, apart from knitting cricket jumper tea cosies, in reality I only need one, but now the teapot has one for every day!

Great news came through yesterday that Yorkshire's opening batsmen Lyth and Lees were recognised by The Cricket Writers Club for their outstanding performances this season.
Quite rightly too, Adam Lyth was named 'Championship Player of the Year' and his amazing score of 1489 runs which included six, hundreds stands testament to that choice!
Alex Lees was also names 'Young Cricketer of the year' and  is the fourth Yorkshire player to win this title in the last seven year.

Yes well deserved I think.

Now why didn't Gillespie the Gallant get an award for being the besty coach in the whole flipping world???

More changes at Hampshire as David Balcombe heads to Surrey where he went through the academy. Balcombe has made only four appearances this season for Hants, and is coming up to 30. He said that he made a 'selfish' decision to go back to Surrey, as he needs to be playing more cricket.

Good luck to him.

cricket news at the moment is all about changes in the counties.
Somerset have appointed Matthew Maynard the new Director of cricket , he has been  coaching in the CPL and in South Africa after leaving Glamorgan four years ago.

Now when will news filter through of back room changes at former besty home county of Durham?. I can't wait for Otis Gibson to take over as coach!

OK enough with the 'Psychic  Psycho' stuff.

I am off to Super Swanky Lady Lainey office  to go to sleep and dream of cricket.

keeping busy

You know that you have hit rock bottom when you go from one week packing your case to head off to Headingley, to knitting cricket  jumper tea cosies the next!!! Yes I have started knitting again to stave off the boredom.

These also double up as 'jumpers' for PH as I only have one teapot and am now getting a collection of 'cosies'.

However enough of my boring old woes. as news has filtered through that after snapping up Raul Brathwaite towards the end of the 2013 season, Hampshire have released him along with Michael Bates the wicketkeeper. They have signed Jack Bird for the first three months of the county champion ship and also signed Yasir Arafat. 

No news leaking out of Tykeshire but I doubt they will be letting any of their 'champions' go ( kiss of death I fear).

Durham are also remaining tight lipped at the moment.

I am sure over the next few weeks their will be lots more news.

Amazing news came through yesterday.........................

A group of international cricketers  have just played the 'highest cricket match' on Mount Kilimanjaro In Tanzania.

 The teams included Ashley Giles and Heather Knight who both stood as captains.

The game was played in a flat crater just below the summit on a 'Flicx  cricket pitch' ( check out http://www.flicx.co.uk/ )

Cloud cover  eventually stopped play, but  they managed to each play 10 overs of what was to have been a T20 match.

Heathers 'Gorillas' team beat Ashleys 'Rhino's' team. Top effort by everyone involved.

And top 'wicket' from 'Flicx cricket'

 Next stop 'Gnome Cricket' in the extensive grounds of Chateau de Champions ( formerly Tykes Towers!).

OK time to pack the knitting needles and head off to Super Swanky Lady Lainey office............................bored already!!!!

What to do now????

Well it really is all over now, the blog of Thursday evening is done, the round up of the season is done, and I am done too!! Totally exhausted as is the poor Lady lainey limo which needs a new spring, ( I need it to be spring!).

Yes I think that a few months of R & R is what this lady needs to get back to being totally well and prepare herself for the new season.

I washed all the flasks and put them away yesterday which is a sure sign that there will be no more outings for the foreseeable future, the freezer is empty of all goodies needed for cricket teas.

Dark days........................but hold on a cotton picking moment................It is only a few weeks until the bbirthdayof myself. Wooooohoooo mahooosive party!!! and cake too!

Oh well something to look forward to and then there is the visit of Pere Noel in December, then getting squiffy on New years eve and then its the new year!!! And only a few months until the start of the cricket season.

See I have now narrowed it down to a few 'events' and then its here.

So plans unfolding for the next few months?

Well after starting 'circuits' this year and trying my hand ( and legs and arms and my whole flipping body) at Insanity ( flipping mental fitness workout). I am now trying my hand at 'Hip Hop Abs' at the moment in Chateau de Champions ( formerly Tykes Towers, formerly LT Towers II), it is more like 'Flip flop flab' but I am led to believe I will have a six pack very soon...............and no thats not a six pack of carlsberg Special or Kestral Super Strength!. yes I am going to reinvent this body over the next few months.

First stop the fridge and get rid of all the junk in there. I actually look like a hamster at the moment as I am stuffing things in my cakehole as fast as I can, any that won't fit are going in the bin!

I have to say 'Wensleydale cheese and chocolate mousse is not a good combination! 

Combine that with extra mature cheese and double cream and you will  see why I actually feel jolly sick right now!!!!

I read the blog from The middle Stump about Thursday evening  http://www.themiddlestump.co.uk/2014/09/leeds-leeds-leeds.html

have a read its great although I am tres disappointed that I didn't get a mention!!! 

Looks like we might be trying to get it going in Durham next year, all to raise funds for Melanoma UK.

Well it may be the end of the cricket season but sadly it is not the end of the work season and I have to trundle off to Super Swanky Lady Lainey office to  earn some pennies. 

I think that I might need a new tiara for my birthday!!!