Time for a lie in I think

Well its Saturday and I have had a bit of a super flipping dooper  lie in, to gear myself up for having to do the various household tasks ( I still do not have any 'staff') that are needed to keep LT Towers II up to pristine condition.

Now let me apologise for being a flipping twit regarding the footy for today

The Blades are in FA cup action against Oxford today not playing Yeovil ( that's next week) so #coyb

The Mighty Whites are only playing Birmingham too!!!! ( FA cup )

I must have been drunk or stupid yesterday morning, I would figure the latter!!!



I watched his Royal Ryanness on Question of Sport last night and have to say I was very impressed, ( how on earth does he get his curls to stay so tidy, not wild afro like mine). I am now so super excited about the start of the cricket season that I am ticking  off the days on the my super smart  '365 hats' calendar. I really really cannot wait. I also have to get things organised  for the reopening of 'Platinum Duck Palace' hub of the cricket tea empire, and believe me it won't be long before I am in a whirl of tea making again.

I am going to look for somewhere for Mr Funky and I to stay when we go to the Scarbella Festival in August too, when we got to see super besty home county of Yorkshire..............OMG I am turning into  his PA !!! There is something amiss here me thinks!! Flipping heck. And it looks like we may be going camping or in my case 'glamping'!!!.


Yesterday was quiet in super swanky Lady Laney office as Job the Jolly was not very well and Pony Paul and I were totally wiped out with having to work for 2 days. As for Dan Dan Cowboy draughtsman, he is living it up in temperatures of 34c at home in Thailand. And he keeps emailing just to rub it in.
Sir Robert of Solihull gave us a call to,

1. Wish us a Happy New Year
2. Let us know that he is still not coming back to work for us
3. Fill me in on all the gossip that I have missed out on ( and you know how a Lady loves her gossip)

NORTH EAST WEATHER WATCH

Well today is damp, here in the North of Blighty but there doesn't look as if there will be any rain. I will not however be planting out my 'Lily if the Valley' as the forecast is for frost overnight tonight.
I am hoping that I can get some of the Lady Lainey pile of washing done and hung out on super swirly washing line.

Hurrah it F(ryan)day

F(ryan)day again!

Well it is F(ryan)day and a jolly quick reminder to all readers in the UK that his Royal Ryanness will be on  'Question of Sport' at 7.30pm tonight ( BBC 1). I missed it on Wednesday as I had to go to bed due to over indulging the night before.

It is also the last day of work before the weekend (yes its been a long week, all 2 days if it!). Super swanky Lady Lainey office was jolly flipping freezing yesterday and I had ever heater in the whole world going in my office to try to generate some heat. Then Pony Paul put his flipping fan on because he said he was too hot!! Must be his age!.

Checked the blog yesterday lunchtime and Dame Didi and once again commented, however she is always to be known as Anonymous!  I have taken her comments on board and I will make sure that she also gets the weight loss bug, reading the books does help but Didi, it takes more than that.

In the wacky world of cricket, England flew back out to India for the ODI's. Also on the BBC website Alec Stewart is once again 3 steps behind I Lady Lainey. he stated that Joe Root was a player to be watching this season...........well I have been shouting that since last season. Catch up Alec!!! Methinks mayhaps he is reading my blog and then writing his articles!!!

Super South African Jacques Kallis has hit 13,000 test runs that is some flipping achievement  and joins other greats Ricky Ponting, Sachin Tendulkar & Raul Dravid. Jolly well done Jacques and keep on running. Whilst in the said test South Africa scuttled New Zealand for 45 all out. What the bally hell was going on there. #timetorethinkNZteam

Football tomorrow with The Mighty Whites taking on Barnsley ( quick run home after the match!)

Birmingham are up in Huddersfield

The Blades are home to Yeovil

I Lady Lainey am trying to plan what to do this weekend, and I actually do not really want to do anything! I feel like lying on the sofa, watching DVD's. So no change from any other weekend then! I have nothing planned and haven't heard from Mr Funky the chauffeur who is on night shift  so I think that I will just chill out. ( well and do some housework and some washing and ironing.......................). I may even knit another tea cosy ( see pic below).


Well off to super swanky Lady Lainey office, I am once again wrapped up against the cold although the man 'on't wireless' did say that temperatures would hit 11c today. Whoopee positively sub tropical for these parts I may well omit one layer of thermals!

And with that I am off to shout at boys, drink gallons for coffee and will the clock to be 4.30pm so that I can  come home.




what I did over Christmas!



I do not want to go back to work!

And so it all begins again today..............yes, the getting the Lady Lainey limo out of the garage, the drive to work and then freezing my orange curls off in super swanky Lady Lainey office ( because there has been no heating on for nearly 2 weeks), the boring day looking pretty but wanting to have an afternoon nap. However I get to shout at the 'boys' again and I know that they will have missed that so much. I have stocked up on the most important of provisions COFFEE!. Believe me I will need gallons of this to get me through the next two days


Yesterday was tiring as I had been at very late to bed and had a couple of sherries too many, so I went out with Countess Christine to Richmond where we had a wander around the shops, ( we didn't buy anything which is unusual for us both) and then went to have a cup of tea. As we were both feeling the excesses of the night before we decided to call it a day after 1.5 hours ( what a pair of wimps) and then came home.At least it blew the cobwebs away and surprisingly for the icy wastes, the sun was shining and it was remarkably mild.

When I got home I did some ironing ( the sooner I get some 'staff' the better!) and then decided to start my next year regime,  so walked to the local church hall and  went to 'fat fighters' ( OK the name has been changed so as not to advertise). Holy flipping macaroni!!!! I am sure that someone put their foot on the scale when I got on, no way do I weight the same as a baby elephant!! Well maybe I do after eating so much over  Yuletide. Well the only way is down now, and by that I mean down the weight scale. #onlymyselftoblame


On this day 

3rd January

1892  J R R Tolkien was born

1948 Bradman  completes dual test 100's at MCG v India

1956 Fire damages top part of the Eiffel Tower

1997 Zimbabwe make a clean sweep in the ODI series V England 3-0


Well it is short but sweet today as I really have to get a wriggle  on and get off to super swanky flipping freezing  Lady Lainey office.


Not a happy bunny!

Last day of holidays

Before the worry of weight gain/loss

Well after eating my body weight  yesterday, and let me make this clear, I did not want any 'treats' or tempting things left in the house for the start for the diet today! So I shovelled it all down my cake hole yesterday and today resemble a Michelin man!.And actually never want to see fruit cake, biscuits, Wensleydale cheese ( Gromit!) and any of the other 3 million things that I scoffed, every again.

Today is a  new start and I am determined to shift 1 stone before the wedding of cousin, The Great Gibson in April, also the start of the cricket season so have to get to my 'fighting' weight by then.

I went out to dinner to Countess Christine of Mc Nally's too so helped her finish off any of the things that were hanging about after Xmas at her house, also got 'snogged' by 2 border collies  a Doberman and a German shepherd ( The Royal Hounds) so RESULT!!.

Well lets have a New years Day round up.

Very sad news broke yesterday, we started the New year with death of Christopher Martin-Jenkins, a true cricket buff and familiar voice on Test Match Special, a great loss for cricket commentating.

In  football....

The Blades were down the road in Doncaster and drew 2-2, which still leaves then 3 points adrift of Tranmere who are at the top of the table. Blinking heck come on boys you were top last week.

The Mighty Whites beat Bolton 1-0, which was a great result for the boys.

However Birmingham lost at home to Cardiff and three Brum players got yellow cards, one of them being my cuz Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo ( 2nd in a month!!). What the Donald duck is he up too????


It is cold wet and very cold here in the North of Blighty and I am going to have a trip out to Richmond with Countess Christine to blow away the cobwebs and also make the most of my last days holiday before going back to super swanky Lady Lainey office tomorrow.

And on that very sobering thought I had better get some ironing done.

New Years resolution

Never doing that again!! 

Happy New Year and welcome to Tales from the Boundary 2013. Not long now until the start of the cricket season and I am super bouncy excited about that! So flipping excited that New Year hangover or not I am jumping about like a mad thing.

2013 is a very important year in the life of I, Lady Lainey, after the worst deccenial of my life , I am making a fresh start.

Low points of the last 10 Years

2002 Got married  ( lot of fuss and expense)

2007-2012  3 house moves ( lots of packing and unpacking and fuss and expense)

2010 Got divorced ( lot of fuss and expense)

2009-2011 Her Serene Highness ( lot of heartache)


High points of the last 10 years

2008 Sir Samuel arrives  ( a little early but soon made up for it)

2010 Finally free from Former Lord Lainey

2012 Yorkshire are promoted  and are super besty team in the whole world

Dame Didi besty sister, friend, business partner  in the whole world

Coutness Culshaw besty friend in the whole world and like Lady Lainey, and  Dame Didi a true survivor!.

Things I am looking forward to in 2013


Seeing Glenn McGrath inducted into the International Cricket Councils Hall of Fame.

Cricket, cricket and more cricket

Not having to deal with 'toxic' relationships

Having as much fun as I can squeeze in

Going to the wedding of cousin the Great Gibson ( new hat ahoy!)

And I am now looking forward to the new cricket season, to the doors of  'Platinum Duck' reopening, to seeing Yorkshire play ( and Durham since Mr Funky the chauffeur bought us a flipping 5 year membership) .

Most of all I am looking forward to writing my blog.

so now off to see if I can manage to swallow some headache tablets and face a bacon sarnie.

Happy New Year

Probably be doing that again!!!

Lady Lainey's review of the year

Beautiful Durham Cathedral

Well since 7am this morning we have had numerous power cuts here in the icy wastes of the North and I have lost my blog more times than I care to recall. So as I am in danger of tearing out my orange curls and throwing my tiara I will get on with it and 'save' as I go..........

Everywhere you look there is a review of 2012 so here is mine,

January started in Lady Lainey land as my first real January in 11 years being single and that was the best feeling in the world, however it was also the first year since we lost Her Serene Highness which made the month slightly tinged with sadness.

February should have been normal service resumed, but the recurring damp problem at LT Towers came back with flipping gusto and everywhere downstairs was cold and wet, I (stupidly) was given the impression that 6 weeks and all sorted ( great workman speak!).

March was a blur of moving furniture upstairs at LT Towers and also getting all the 'Platinum Duck' things in order ready for the start of the cricket season next month. forward planning and all that, I was now living in my bedroom as downstairs was a 'no go ' area and upstairs was crammed with furniture. This is not how a Lady lives.

April  I decided to spice up my orange curls for the 'Friendly' at Chester Le Street,  former  besty home county club of Durham V Besty home county club of Yorkshire. Spicing up was not quite the result and my hair was more 'fluorescent orange' than 'subtle jaffa!' Well Gillepsie the Gallant and his Royal Ryanness could hardly fail to notice me with my curls being whipped around the wind.
 Dame Didi and I headed over the snow filled M62 to Manchester and flew out to Chateau Didi where we 'moved like Jagger' and managed to move the neighbours tooo!!!!
Came back to LT Towers to find half my dining room wall removed to fit 'another ' damp proof course.

May  saw super cricket tea empire of 'Platinum Duck' very busy...................storing lots of food in freezers due to hideous wet weather which affected cricket at all levels. Also the rain was not helping the situation at LT Towers and I eventually gave in and gave the tenants notice at LT Towers II , two months to wait to move and started packing  ready for that day.

June Brought us a super long weekend to celebrate the Queens Diamond Jubilee and also the chance to see a little bit more cricket  even some 2nd XI. End of June saw T20 with the clash of the Former and the besty home counties of Durham and Yorkshire. I nearly choked on my Ribena, when I glanced up to the away balcony and saw his Royal Ryanness topless!!!! Yes topless!!! Made my evening ( Well I was with Mr Funky the Chauffeur and 'Would like to be Lord Lainey')

July  saw the start of my blog and your introduction into the wild world of Lady Lainey you were also introduced to my series of photographs 'Cricketers posteriers' ( to be added to this year). I also went to see Australia play ( with 'Would like to be Lord Lainey) track that back on the blogs what a cracking day that was (not!).

August saw the move to LT Towers II ( now Tykes Towers), a beautiful house that 'strangely' had water coming out of a tap and not out of the walls!! how very novel.!!!! Lots of tea making and fun at Shildon cricket club with cousin Rt Hon Robbo Jnr and his mate Jim., also over at Marton teas were in overdrive but thanks to Dame Didi, I managed to keep the cricket tea empire going and watch cricket too.
Sir Robert of Solihull came up to visit as he was preparing to start a new job and would not be venturing into these pastures again for some time. Lots of blubbing ( that was just the 'boys' in the office!).
I also managed to 'extricate' myself from 'Would like to be Lord Lainey'.After nearly 30 years of 'friendship'( I use that term loosely as it was on his terms), it has been very refreshing
Bank holiday saw Mr Funky and I at 'Scarbella' getting soaked to the skin and frozen to the bone, but saw Yorkshire which was the main thing. My last Yorkshire match until next season.
Also had the recurring problem of slugs and frogs at LT Towers II! YUKKY!!

September was about closing the doors of  'Platinum Duck' for another season. Dame Didi and I flew out to Château Didi via Amsterdam ( and I nearly stayed there). Yorkshire got promoted, which made my whole cricket season memorable and showed what an amazing job Gillespie the Gallant had done pulling the team together. They did however lose to former besty home county in the south Hampshire in the T20 final but got to go to South Africa.#WAYAW

October  Took the Tykes to South Africa to take part in the world T20's. They didn't win but got further than Hampshire ( ha di flipping ha!!). They played brilliantly and made me proud to be a Tyke. Sadly October also saw the loss of great friend Bruce Ritchie, a true cricket fan and  one of the nicest men you could have ever wanted to meet.

November was the month of the great birthday bash. Dame Didi and I zipped off to Manchester and went on Concorde ( Alpha Charlie) which was the most amazing experience and moved us both to tears ( I love Concorde always have and always will). This was one of the most memorable days that I have had in many years and I can't wait to go again.

December saw me become teetotal, ( OK it only lasted until Xmas but that was a long time!). I also spent the weekend with Countess Culshaw and the gorgeous Sir Samuel, who made me once again see Christmas through child's eyes and made me really feel Christmassy when I got home. Dame Didi and I spent Christmas together, very sadly we lost 'Grandma Jean' which brought the festive period to a full stop.

However 2013 is a whole new start and  I, Lady Lainey , am donning a new tiara, fluffing up my curls and preparing for a new year and new start.

Best wishes for a Happy and Prosperous New Year.

With love from

Lady Lainey

Mr Funky arriving sooooooonnn!!

Oh my deary me, I have just woken up and  realised that Mr Funky is coming to call for me in an hour to go to the great city of Durham. He will want to go to look at 'outdoors' type shops for when he walks up 'hills' whereas I, Lady Lainey like to look at girly shops with pretty things in, not smelly old hiking socks and meth burning stoves!!!! Do I look like that type of Lady??

Well I am not showered and the orange afro needs washing and I have no idea what to wear..............oh well best get on with the blog.

As you know yesterday was the 150th anniversary of football being played at Bramall Lane, home of the super Blades ( who sadly went down 3-2 to the Monkey Hangers). However I had been fed duff information, having sat through 'Football Focus' (which is not my preferred viewing) with not a whiff of The Blades, I fended off texts from The Dame who had also put her life on hold to watch it. But then at 8pm last night it all became clearer. The whole piece was on 'The League show' on BBC1 at 00.00 last night/ this morning. Well how the 'Donald Duck' was I supposed to stay awake until that time and I couldn't record it either so I very sadly missed it and am a tad p*****d orff. However Happy Birthday to Bramall Lane and lets see 150 more years ( OK I won't and you won't). No building an  'out of town super stadium'.
Dame Didi and I love Sheffield and stay at The Copthorne Hotel when we go , which just happens to be attached to the Bramall Lane football ground!!! ( I don't like the 'Sheffield Eye' though and got jolly scardy when I went on it).

After the great news that Wiggo is to become a 'Sir' it appears that he is amused and bemused by the whole thing. Well all I can say is that Bradley you are a true champion and deserve the Knighthood. You have excelled in your sport and brought home a title to the UK that we never expected to have.

Over in cricket I fear that my love of the game and players is causing waves of retirement. First the old gang McGrath and Gillespie went, then as I nurtured a new crop of Australians they started falling by the way side. Brett Lee announcing his retirement after being injured at Chester Le Street ( and I was there, I wanted to administer first aid as I got a badge in Brownies.........sadly it was for stamp collecting), now  Mike Hussey  is retiring from all forms of International cricket and I saw him play this summer. Of course Ramps retired ( and got an MBE in the New Years Honours). I am seriously worried that his Royal Ryanness may decide to go down this road and I am not relishing that day!

Well this is not getting the 'barnet' washed and Mr Funky will be banging the door down very soon, so just to say that in all the excitement of the birthday celebrations I forgot to mention the Mighty Whites and Birmingham,. Well best to have forgotten as they both lost!!

Happy Sunday and Dame Didi your comments haven't come through so try again please.
STOP PRESS just found the comment, put your name on it you 'donut'

'sob sob'

Sad sporty Saturday

BRAMALL LANE

Good morning from cold and wet Blighty  it is 7.30am (UK TIME) on Saturday 29th December 2012. I, Lady Lainey have jolly well made it out of bed before 8am and not content with that I have got the slow cooker on making Chilli con carne for dinner and also a casserole in the oven that will go into the freezer. Flipping heck, what am I on???? I may need to go back to bed at this rate!

Well what is going on today................................................................

Only the flipping biggest celebrations at Bramall Lane, a massive celebration of 150years of football at the lane. The first match was played on 29th December 1862 between Sheffield FC and Hallam FC. It lasted 3 hours............yes 3 hours ( I would have liked that if I been sat next to Sir Sean of Bean) and finished in 0-0. ( Good job it didn't go to extra time or did it???)

 They have also had cricket matches there and in  1884 Bramall Lane  hosted players from England and Australia. They had a 'proper' cricket pavilion too ( you all know how I hate those glass and chrome monstrosities). There is a great book which gives all the info called ' Sheffield United FC ,  The Biography' by Gary Armstrong and John Garrett ( foreword by Sir Sean of Bean himself!!!).

Today in the UK  at 12.30pm there is more about the 150th celebrations on Football Focus on BBC. ( and if Gary is on don't forget however much you adjust the colour on your TV he stays orange!)

So at 3.00pm The Blades will go out and take on The Monkey Hangers ( Hartlepool to the uninitiated). Sadly without the amazing Shaun Miller who is now out for the rest of the season with cruciate damage, and Neil Collins with a fractured cheekbone which has already been operated on. Super special get well wishes to both of them but have to say I will flipping well miss Shaun scoring more goals this season. Get well soon boys and  COYB!!!!


Sad news in the cricket world is that former England captain Tony Greig has died after having a heart attack, he  had also been diagnosed with lung cancer two months ago. our thoughts are with his family at this very sad time.

Also a blow for England is that Jonny Bairstow will not be returning to India for the ODI series, due to family illness.His place will be taken by Joe Root ( at least it is another Tyke). Our thoughts are with Jonny and his family at this time.

Flipping great news is that Wiggo is to be knighted in the New Years honours list, wooohoooo welcome to the club Sir Bradley Wiggins!! Well deserved too.

Well I am now off to scoff my brekkie and to go for a walk to town, and then settle down for football focus.

100% Blades

PS was that long enough for you Dame Didi?????

Lady Lainey ventures forth

Well, well, well, quelle surprise, it is blowing a gale outside and lashing down with rain  and I really want to batten down the hatches and snuggle up in my blanky and watch rubbish on TV but.........................I have to venture forth into the storm and travel to the far off land of Acklam ( its near Middlesbrough you know!) where I have to chat to the organ grinder whilst the monkey makes my coffee. I am however taking the some biscuits as an offering for the hard work that they have put into sorting out my insurances etc for Tykes Towers.

Then I will travel the long and winding road ( A66) back to the County of Durham and lie around on the sofa drinking French coffee and watching rubbish on the TV whilst attempting to knit a cricket jumper tea cosy.

So yesterday Mr Funky turned up 2 hours early at my house and was very surprised to see me in my PJ's and dressing gown ( not as surprised as I was to see him!) so I rushed around like a flipping mad thing and finally got my tiara on straight and we went to town for coffee and cake. We also went to check out paint for my dining room and I have finally settled on 'Platinum Grey' ( well it couldn't be silver could it??).

The rest of the day was a blur of sleep and texts and tweets and updated Facebook status and by bedtime I was totally exhausted again! The modern world is way too tiring!.

On this day

28th December

1923 Gustave Eiffel died

1934 Dame Maggie Smith born ( mummy of the lovely Toby Stevens)

1954 Denzel Washington born

And yes Dame Didi I know this is short but I have to get a wriggle on and YOU have to get the kettle on!

A bientot

WOW what a lie in

My holiday reading is going down!!!

Wow I can't flipping well believe how long I am sleeping these holidays I woke up about 10 minutes ago and nearly flipped my tiara ( OK I didn't really have it on as I don't sleep in it) it was 8.47am (UK time), so mad scrambled to get a blog out to you.( good job I am not on webcam that would be a sight to behold)

As you can see from the picture, I had been getting myself a nice little library of holiday reading and it is going down, these are the books that I have left to read before I return to super swanky Lady Lainey office next Thursday. Well I am not actually doing any jobs around the house as I said I would, so thought that it was time to catch up on all the books that I have been trying to read.

Countess Culshaw and Sir Samuel rang yesterday to keep me up to date on Mummy Culshaw ( who is not doing too badly in hospital). Sir Samuel is having tons of fun with his presents and enjoying doing jigsaws and  playing board games. He is luckily not yet a couch potato child and long may that last.

So to the sporty going ons on Boxing Day here in Blighty.

The mighty Whites took a bit of a battering against Nottingham Forest with the score being 4-2 to Notts!

Birmingham beat Barnsley 2-1 Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo was involved and pheww!!! no yellow card ( or red for that matter).

However I am saving the best until last

THE BLADES only went and blinking well walloped Scunthorpe 3-0  keeping them top of the table and 2 points ahead of Tranmere.Sean Miller scoring an early goal set them on the road to another win. I was super excited when I saw the scores come up!


Well time to get showered and afro washed as Mr Funky the chauffeur is coming round and we are walking to town for coffee and cake ( before I waddle to the nearest Weightwatchers class to dismiss my bulk!). It is however raining cats and dogs here and I am beginning to think that it may not be such a good idea to walk! #lazyfatwobbler

Quotes for the day

Glenn McGrath bowled so badly in his first test, as though he had never bowled in a test match before - Geoff Boycott

To stay in you've got to not get out - Geoff Boycott

Have a great day 

Big Bad Boxng Day

Well Christmas is over for another year and Next sale started at 6am this morning!! Who in their flipping right mind would want to get up to go to a sale at 6am after stuffing their face with Turkey, sprouts, stuffing,Christmas pudding, Bendicks chocolates and eating enough cheese to give you nightmares for the rest of your life ........................errr is that just me????

 Well I have had a lie in ( it is now 8.29am) and I am about to get dressed to wander round to see Countess Christine of Mc Nally and the Royal hounds. ( yep I am bracing my self for being 'loved to death' and getting 'french kissed' by Benji the Border collie). She was a little bit poorly yesterday and still had to soldier on and make the lunch for the family and then she went back to bed.

Santa came to my house and Dame Didi and I opened our pressies and got very excited by everything. I even got a book of sporting commentary gaffs so you will be all hearing some of those over the next few weeks.
His Royal Ryanness tweeted me  Merry Xmas which made my day very much and in Australia The Duke and Duchess of Adelaide are getting super excited about their forthcoming trip to Blighty. Woohoo, what a pair of nutters.......leaving hot weather to come over here to rain, floods, cold, wind! However I know that they will enjoy it when they get here.

I spent the rest of Christmas day laying on the sofa, snoozing and watching utter rubbish on the telly in the end I couldn't take any more of repeats, Eastenders ( too much shouting all the time), 'Come dine with me' ,and 'One born every minute' do you really want to see someone giving birth as you are removing the giblets from the turkey???? so I put my 'South Park' DVD on not very 'Ladylike' language but funny as anything.

Over in cricket land England are enjoying some R & R and gearing up for the next onslaught.

In footy land

The Mighty Whites are in action today against Nottingham Forest

Birmingham take on Barnsley

The Blades take on Scunthorpe.

This is the very same Blades who are TOP OF THE TABLE!!!!! THEY ARE TOP OF LEAGUE ONE!!!!!

#COYB

COMMENTARY GAFFS

'You've got to make a split second decision so quickly' - Geoff Boycott

'Fortunately it was a slow ball, so it wasn't a fast one' - Geoff Boycott

'England have a very English attack ' - Geoff Boycott



And finally, yesterday we sadly said goodbye to Grandma Jean  who has been very poorly and now has gone on to a much better place. RIP Jean x

Merry Christmas

Well its Christmas morning and I have been awake since 5.12am. So now I am putting on my Christmas tiara and getting ready to go and open all the presents that Pere Noel has left for me. I can also put baby Jesus onto the 'creche' as he has been born now.

So yesterday the Dame and I went out and did a spot of last minute shopping in town, we went to have a coffee and the Dame got stroppy because there were no cheese scones cooked! So we  had cake and toasted teacake instead. Then we went and dropped off presents at Duchess Debbie the Wise's and also Lady Norma the Wise. When we got home Mr Funky the Chauffeur came round and we all decided to partake in a Spiced rum and coke.

Very civilised.

We had a great dinner and then sat down to watch TV, well I actually fell asleep and then woke up in time to go to bed...................which will now explain why I have been up since stupid o'clock.

Well off to open my pressies now and then have a super big breakfast.


Merry Christmas

Great times

Can you believe that not only did I not write my blog late yesterday, but I didn't write my blog at all!!!!.

Well it has been a very eventful weekend with sad and happy news.
I got into the Lady Lainey limo on Saturday and set off to go to meet Coutness Culshaw and Sir Samuel were going to be later as they had to go to the hospital to see mummy Culshaw who although still poorly was not quite as poorly as first stated. (big sigh of relief).

We went out to have some dinner at the airport and then came back to the hotel were Sir Samuel was up until 10pm!!!! The Countess and I were awake until after midnight too!!!

Yesterday we got up played hide and seek ( in a hotel room?????) very funny, especially as we were limited with hiding spaces and how do you hide 6ft 3in of Lady Lainey???.

Then off we went to the garden centre has some lunch and went home in different directions, both sad as we had, had such a good time!!!.

Over in India England won the 2nd T20  and look good going to the next one,.KP has not been names in the upcoming ODI and T20 clashes with New Zealand. The selectors say this is to manage the work load of players better.

Football news ( but you will all know this already)
Birmingham drew with Burnley

Leeds beat Middlesbrough

And The Blades won against Crawley !!!

wow what a weekend

So now off to call Tzarina Katerina and wish her Happy Birthday and also to go shopping with Dame Didi!!!


Merry Christmas Eve

It's raining AGAIN!!!

My mum made me wear this hat!!!!

OMG it is still bally well raining and I for one am not sure if it is ever going to stop!  I am off to meet Sir Samuel and Countess Culshaw ( fingers crossed as Mummy Culshaw was taken to hospital yesterday). I am a ready to go and having spoken to Sir Samuel this morning he is ready to see me.

I have a moat around Tykes Towers again and it is not showing any signs of disappearing any time soon, I hope that when I get back tomorrow it will have gone done. I have no idea what is going on with the crazy weather in this country.....oh please take me somewhere hot.


In Football

Birmingham are at home to Burnley
And The Mighty Whites are at home to Middlesbrough

The Blades are not in action until 26th December when they take on Scunthorpe.

Well after stuffing myself to bursting point at 'Pizza Hut' yesterday, we left work early and I came home to have a nap ( how very jolly civilised). Then I wrapped up the last few pressies, couldn't face eating another mouthful of food. and went off to bed to read my book.

I am now running around like a headless chicken as Mr Funky is going to come round to show an electrician what needs doing at the Towers ( whilst I am with Sir Samuel) and then  Dame Didi is arriving so that we can have a 'Joyeaux noel' tomorrow, and I still haven't changed her bed!!

This is very short today and tomorrows will be posted late as I doubt that I will have time to try to do it, whilst

a. playing board games with a 5 years old
b. recovering from a hangover
c. colouring in 'Sponge Bob square pants'
d. trying to muster the energy to drive home



But I will leave you with a couple more funnies from Les Scott's book, 'Bats, Bails and Balls

Appeal- what happens to skin on hot days when you do no apply sunblock

High Fives  -opportunity for the third man to come in out of the cold and get himself on TV

Long hop - What the fielder at short leg does when the ball hits him with full force on the kneecap

So Happy Xmas weekend and have fun.

End of the week and end of the world apparently!!!



YIPPEEEE its F(ryan)day!!!!



Whoop de flipping tiara twirling dooooo its Friday and it is the last day at work until next year!!! (Or not if the world ends today).Blinking heck I am spinning around in my chair here at Tykes Towers like a mad spinny thing!! I am so super bouncy excited that I fear the 'boys' are in for a long morning, before they drag me kicking and screaming ( yeah right!) to Pizza Hut for all you can eat buffet.  So as it is the end of the world today too I though WTF, forget the diet and go and stuff yourself.
I said that I  wanted to go back to super swanky Lady Lainey office after lunch and play Twister but the boys were are not too keen!.
Job the Jolly said that after stuffing as much pizza down his cakehole as he could at lunchtime, the only thing he was playing was his CD in the car on the way home!!! And as I want to pack my bag to go and see Countess Culshaw and Sir Samuel I am totally with him on that score.


Over in India The T20's started after lunch  ( UK time) yesterday. Not a good result either, After leaving Root and Bairstow out, the boys put out a team of relatively unknown England player ( and OK I am always harping on about bringing in new blood) Bresnan, Morgan and Patel were in as 'old timers' and sadly runs were not too plentiful Newcomer Hales made 56  leaving England to close on 157. However even with the valiant attempts of Bresnan ( 2-44) England were beaten by 5 wickets. Not a great start I fear. Now though they now have to go away and get the team to 'gel' and get ready for the next match. Oh yes and have Christmas too.




Over in F1 Vettel has been saying he wants the title in 2013 ( yeah well I want to marry Sir Sean of Bean and like that is going to happen!). Well  Jenson, Lewis and all the other drivers on the circuit would like to win the title too so you he will have a challange on his hands

Also read that Grosjean the lean mean crashing machine is staying with Lotus.I think that he should just stay out of everyone's way! #safer

Well its the super last day of work and then its HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  and Pere Noel is coming, and I get to lounge around at Tykes Towers reading all the books I have not had time to.

But first I have to get ready for one last journey to the centre of the universe ( well Coniscliffe Road)) and look pretty for a few more hours and then FREEEEDDDOOOOMMMMM.


Hope that you all have a great Friday ( Fryanday).

Closer to the finishing line

Well its Thursday and I Lady Lainey am jolly glad it is just one more day to go. I am totally exhausted and the Pony Paul lurgy hasn't helped on e little bit. Today I am feeling much better  apart form a headache and runny nose!! Yep I look terrific!

I finally received my invitation to the wedding of the year (2013). However can you Adam and Eve it, not only is it on a cricket day!.......it is on a Durham V Yorkshire cricket day. So as much as I love the Tykes, I love dressing up and partying more and the acceptance letter is in the post.


So in  the merry world of cricket, after last summers 'do with KP, they have only gone and offered him a new contract. I am keeping my mouth firmly shut! For once! Saying nothing! Not a squeak..........yet!!!

Middlesex have signed up the lovely Mark Ramprakash as batting  coach on a two year contract, he has gone back home!! And yes in the above picture I was that close to the man himself, I could have touched him.......................but Mr Funky the Chauffeur told me not too!!!


The T20 matches kick off today starting at 1.30pm (UK time). Lets see how we get on without the great man!.

Was busy wrapping pressies last night and will be dropping them off with Duchess Debbie the Wise this evening. Also have a couple more cards to post through letter boxes and then I think that I am done, or as done as I intend to be.

Football was not good last night for The Mighty Whites who were entertaining Chelsea, and let them score 5 goals to their 1. I think they just felt sorry for them as they have been having a bit of strife lately!

The Blades are taking on Oxford in the FA cup on 5th January and so it really will be a big #coyb.

NORTH EAST WEATHER WATCH

Well its blowing a gale outside and lashing down with rain which means only one thing. I lady Lainey have to run very fast from car park to super swanky Lady Lainey office to avoid 'orange afro'. Also means trousers are the order of the day, as I don't fancy that wind blowing up my 'kilt'. And lastly it means that I had better get a wriggle on and make my way to said office where my 'boys' will be waiting for me with open arms ( yeah right!!! I will be lucky to get a grunt out of them!).

Bye

2 more 'getty ups'

Who is the mystery man?

Well its the middle of the week and only 2 more 'getty ups' until HOLIDAYS!!!!!!! I am super excited, just at the fact that I am getting nearly 2 weeks away from super swanky Lady Lainey office, I cannot wait.

I have to make up the spare bed for Dame Didi as she is arriving on Sunday and now she doesn't have to put up with 'budgie' curtains ( as left by my tenant) as I have put up super smart raw silk curtains, which make the room very cosy, and talking about cosy, I am about to set off knitting a 'cricket jumper' tea cosy for cousin Rt Hon Robbo Jnr now that he has super new job at the cricket club. However I am wondering if now that he is 'El Presidenti' will he still do the washing up???? Will probably post a picture of  the cosy when it is finished #ifitlooksok!

I have been loving all the hilarious tweets that Gillespie the Gallant has been getting recently ( not from me I hasten to add). Even he thinks some of them are worrying. However his Tweets in response are enough to make me laugh out loud.

Have been reading that we will have a new Brit on the F1 circuit next year, Max Chilton  ( see above pic)has signed for Marussia  next season and he looks as old as Joe Root #10yearsold. Good luck to Max and hope to see him on the podium.( not ahead of Baron button though).



on this day
19th December

1974 'The Man with the Golden Gun' premieres in USA

1974 Ricky Ponting  Australian cricketer born

1987 Karim Benzema  French footballer born

1980 Anguilla becomes a British Dependency separate from St Kitts ( home of former Hants cricketer Cardigan Connor, now ' the islands most popular personal trainer' flipping heck!!!!)


Its jolly flipping short today as I have lots to do before I go off to Lady Lainey office and harass  cheer up the boys!.

one week to Pere Noel!

Last minute wrapping from PH and VB

Well it Tuesday only 3 more 'getty up's' until I finish for the Christmas break at super swanky Lady Lainey office, and I am so flipping happy about getting some time off for R & R. However I am meeting Countess Culshaw and Sir Samuel on Saturday and we are going to have 'super fun' in Harrogate and then collapse back at the hotel and wait for Santa to ring ( that will be Pony Paul) and let Sir Samuel know that he can open some of his pressies early ( the ones that I Lady Lainey have taken for him). So its all stations go until the big day.

Miss Babs,  former work colleague of I,Lady Lainey called over last night ( on her way from Tesco.............TESCO!!!!! what ever happened to Harrods or Harvey Nicks???) Anyhoo, she popped in for a coffee and a chat and it is decided that in the New Year she will call for dinner one evening. How very blinking civilised ( not like the old days having burger and a pint in the White Horse!!)


Over in India, England declared on 352-4. Joe Root got another knock about and scored 20  bringing his test total to 93. And yes Bell ( The ginger whinger) scored 116 so well done to him. England finally won a series in India, however, the team is a shambles they have been carrying injured players and boosting the misfits. So lets see what happened in the T20's. However I will say bloody well done to the whole team and great to see  Tykes in the winning side! It makes all the difference.
I am hoping that we see a much improved and fit squad out on the field for the T20's.
Also splendid news that Glamorgan have  signed the super fit Simon Jones for 4 day matches, looking forward to that! He had curtailed his appearances with the county due to knee problems but so pleased to see that he is going to play more.

My 'Pony Paul' lurgy is not getting any better and I nearly fell asleep at my desk yesterday afternoon, and as we were all ( I say all, it was Pony Paul and I as Job the Jolly have gone to Wembley ) suffering it was a 'symphony' of coughs, nose blowing and sneezing!!! Lovely.

NORTH EAST WEATHER WATCH

Well it is blinking well pitch dark this morning but it is not foggy, frosty, snowy or wet. So hopefully this will make the commute to super swanky Lady Lainey office bearable. I am hoping that the weather remains this way until after the weekend PLEASE!!!!.
No thermals today but still wearing trousers as too cold to contemplate a skirt!!!

On this day 
18th December 

1976 Wonder Woman debuts on US TV. ( and didn't we all want to be Linda Carter?)

1996 Start of the first Test between Zimbabwe and England

2012 only one week until Xmas!!!!!!!!!

Bradley does it again

Well what a great night last night, Bradley Wiggins was named Sports Personality of the year, and we got to see the Duchess of Cambridge ( who is looking very well). Bradley is a truly worthy recipient of the title as he has slogged away at his sport for many years and then this year he pulled the blinder, Le Tour de France and Olympic gold.He showed that he is also a down to earth bloke who likes a laugh and I Lady Lainey salute him!.

Over in India, I am assuming that Bell has been reading 'Tales from the Boundary' as he is currently on 61!! Flipping heck!!! However KP was still resting on his laurels and scored 6.......yes that was 6. Trott is still in there batting away and he is on 106. England are now on 240 (6.37am UK time).

So you may be wondering what has been going on at Tykes Towers..................well nothing really, I finished the blog yesterday and went back to bed as I felt a bit 'ruff'. I got up and hung out the washing but that was the only trip over the door step. Dame Didi and the Monster children nephews came to call after they had been to lunch at Tzarina Katerina's. Count Christophe was showing me his designs for the house that he is 'building'. Then I settled down on the sofa, tucked up with best cuddle friend Pink Hippo and my 'blanky' and had a little nap!

Stayed up 'late' too last night 10.30pm!!!!! yes 10.30pm!!!! and this morning I feel super tired and not in the mood for going to super swanky Lady Lainey office, however only got to go in 4 more times until we have a break for Christmas.

And finally super news from Shildon CC, cousin Rt Hon Robbo Jnr has been elected President of the club after many years faithful service as player and also as Chairman.  What great news and I know that Rt Hon Robbo Snr would be very proud.

and so I am toddling off into the fog ( which is going to clear), and soak up the positively tropical temperatures of 4-5c today. Whoop de flipping doooo I might even put a skirt on for work. OK its Monday there has been no heating on all over the weekend so trousers and thermals still the order of the day.

A bientot

Bis bald

Super sick Sunday

Oh deary me, I now feel very poorly indeed. Headache  nose running like a tap, sore throat and I look like I haven't slept for a week. Thank you Pony Paul for giving me your hideous germs and making me feel very unLady lainey  like.

So what did I do yesterday, well I did walk to town and I wrapped presents and I picked up Tzarina Katerina, had a text talk with cousin Rt Hon Robbo Jnr and then  I went to bed, read for 1 minute and woke up 3 hours later with my book stuck to my face ( the result of 'overheating' in bed!!). So now I am hoping to do something constructive today, and get some sleep too.


However lets see what is happening in India, who declared on 326-9 only 4 runs behind England and currently Cook and Compton are in batting and standing on 15-0. I have been reading the feeds on TMS site and someone posted his team for the Ashes and included Bell and Finn!!!! Well Bell's  form is rubbish and Finn is now looking as if he is fit only for the bowlers knackers yard. I am having a real think regarding my XI and will post it probably over Christmas ( when I have more time and feel better).

Over in the land of Football

Sheffield United were playing Tranmere and that ended in 0-0

Leeds beat Ipswich 2-0

And Birmingham drew with Crystal Palace 2-2. Cousin Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo played the whole match with out a yellow card in sight.


NORTH EAST WEATHER WATCH

Its cold and very dark this morning, however it is not raining, snowing, frosting or any of the other hideous things that it has been doing this week!! It is however windy and I hope that I can get some washing out later and make a dent in the laundry basket!!
No thermals today as I only plan to venture so far into the extensive grounds of Tykes Towers and not a step further.