When did I swallow barbed wire?

You too can look this good.............just get my lurgy!!!!

I am really sick!!!! And I mean REALLY SICK!!! I have woken up this morning with a 'broken neck' and think that sometime in the night I swallowed barbed wire. Any chance of having my vocal range back ( 'high enough to call dogs at times'  Job the Jolly) is now gone and  there will be another day of peace  at super swanky Lady Lainey office and beyond!!!! Pony Paul is also 'sick' but it is either 'man flu' or the 'manopause', either way it is NOT as serious as the lurgy that I, Lady Lainey am struggling with!!

I popped to 'Tim'll Fix it  last night to check on some things for the Lady Lainey limo and had to warn Benji the French kissing border collie that on no account was he to even attempt to kiss me. So instead he did his 'freaky' trick of putting his paws on your shoulders and staring you out!.Never, ever, ever , in my life have I seen a dog make eye contact like that! He never blinks, totally mental dog!!!!

I also narrowly missed Tzarina Katerina who's car was being MOT'd and serviced. I will have to phone her to see how her cruise went. But as I can't speak........................


The Durham boys were out and about in Durham City centre yesterday having the praise of the county lavished upon them. And I am pleased to say all of them looking co-ordinated and smart. And then news filtered through that Will Smith who left the club last week has only gone and signed for former besty team in the south , Hampshire ( and former home of besty bowler friend JJ).He can at least keep Brath company and  it is rumoured ( in LT Towers II) that Hampshire may be changing their name to 'South Durham'!!!!!!!

Also Durham boy Ben Stokes was named The Cricket Writers Club, Young cricketer of the year. Why did no one ask me to vote on this, I could have given them several options................, however well done to Ben.

Tonight sees footy action when Birmingham, club of cousin Rt Hon Hooligan Robbo, take on Millwall. I am wondering if he will produce his best tactical move. The ' elbow them in the back when the refs not looking' move? But I guess that as he is now captain he will be keeping his antics in check.

The Mighty Whites are  are at home to Bournemouth tonight

And The Blades are not in action until Friday when we can only hope for a win, they are playing shockingly this season.

I went to bed extra early last night, like as soon as it was flipping dark, which seemed to be as soon as I got home!!! I no likey dark nights and dark mornings, I no likey going to bed super early...........................think that I may have to bring back possible choice of future Lord Lainey.............................yes I may start watching '24' all over again. Yes my life really is that exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Preparing myself to be bombed, infected with deadly virus, kidnapped......................well you all know that plots.



BREAKING NEWS!!! Phil Jaques will not be returning to Yorkshire next season!!!! And he figured on the 'Posterior of the season' wall tooooooooo #gutted

A bientot